Who does homosexuality hurt?

[morethanpretty]

Originally Posted by morethanpretty

I'm not going to marry the person they want me to (at 18 nonetheless!)


and its proven, I've done it "their way" in the past, I got suicidal

Its funny: all ya'll who decided to rag on me for sayin my parents do not always know whats best for me, decided to overlook these two statements completely. So I'll say it again, and dumb it down for ya.
My parents wanted me to GET MARRIED AT 18! They think me getting a college degree is probably a waste of time. They believe my ex-boyfriend "owns a piece of my soul" because we had sex. That although I was terribly unhappy with him, and with him mainly because he was the first guy to ever pay attention to me, THAT I SHOULD STILL MARRY HIM AT 18! That I should get a SECOND job, and support HIM through school.

I spent FOUR YEARS on anti-depressants, not able to look up from my feet, hiding in my closet or a book. I was suicidal, and took pain-killers recreational. When I wasn't doing these things, I was goin to church or youth group, or praying to God. Trying to be a good Christian, and not understanding why my heart was still devoid, when I had all the "faith" I could muster. When I begged my parents; no I did not "throw a fit," I wrote out all of my arguments, asked them to sit down with me and tried to discuss the issue with them, it ended in literal begging, I begged them to let me stop youth group. I was endlessly harassed at it, not just by other kids, by the youth minister herself. They knew this, they believed it. They made me keep going even though 9 out of 10 times I came home in a complete wreck. Its hard now, not to tear up and talk about it. That was 5 or so years ago.

A couple of years ago, my mom actually told me: "I don't really believe you were ever depressed." That makes sense, since 3 separate doctors and a family counselor all believed it. My thoughts of suicide probably meant nothing either.

Those are a couple of examples, I don't feel like giving anymore, those are personal enough. So while, my parents have years of experience that makes their advise very valuable. They don't know what is best for me.

[Bullitt]

I'm sorry to hear about all that MTP. Some people just don't quite get what it means to "walk in someone else's shoes". Meaning that they should have taken a step back and thought about what they were asking and forcing you to do from your POV. There's no such thing as a perfect parent, but I'm willing to guess that they do honestly have your best interest in mind. Obviously that doesn't always come through the way you would think, esp. given what sounds like fundamentalist Christian views (Pentecostal by chance?). But in their minds they are pushing you to do what they see as best for you according to their worldview, ya know? In this case, their views are asking too much of you, they didn't understand what you were going through, and it created a rift. I hope you can mend things with your parents, there's no replacement for that strong family bond. And I hope that they can see things from your perspective and try to respect your wishes, even if they disagree. Be careful not to throw the baby out with the bathwater in dealing with them though. Even though they may have some skewed expectations of you esp. regarding your faith, that doesn't automatically make their combined knowledge about life null and void (unless you ask RKZ).

We can only go by what we see posted on the board. We don't all necessarily know your personal background and life story, just whatever tidbits you happen to post. Which can lead to people seemingly coming off as jerks in response to your comments, when that's not necessarily the case or their intention.

[xoxoxoBruce]

We've still only heard one side.

[Cicero]

Originally Posted by morethanpretty

Its funny: all ya'll who decided to rag on me for sayin my parents do not always know whats best for me, decided to overlook these two statements completely. So I'll say it again, and dumb it down for ya.
My parents wanted me to GET MARRIED AT 18! They think me getting a college degree is probably a waste of time. They believe my ex-boyfriend "owns a piece of my soul" because we had sex. That although I was terribly unhappy with him, and with him mainly because he was the first guy to ever pay attention to me, THAT I SHOULD STILL MARRY HIM AT 18! That I should get a SECOND job, and support HIM through school.

I spent FOUR YEARS on anti-depressants, not able to look up from my feet, hiding in my closet or a book. I was suicidal, and took pain-killers recreational. When I wasn't doing these things, I was goin to church or youth group, or praying to God. Trying to be a good Christian, and not understanding why my heart was still devoid, when I had all the "faith" I could muster. When I begged my parents; no I did not "throw a fit," I wrote out all of my arguments, asked them to sit down with me and tried to discuss the issue with them, it ended in literal begging, I begged them to let me stop youth group. I was endlessly harassed at it, not just by other kids, by the youth minister herself. They knew this, they believed it. They made me keep going even though 9 out of 10 times I came home in a complete wreck. Its hard now, not to tear up and talk about it. That was 5 or so years ago.

A couple of years ago, my mom actually told me: "I don't really believe you were ever depressed." That makes sense, since 3 separate doctors and a family counselor all believed it. My thoughts of suicide probably meant nothing either.

Those are a couple of examples, I don't feel like giving anymore, those are personal enough. So while, my parents have years of experience that makes their advise very valuable. They don't know what is best for me.

Sounds abusive. The cellar may be wrong on this one. This sounds like the patriarchs are getting the upper hand on a young girl. Sorry. Nuh uh.


The day I quit listening to my parents was the best of my life. Parents can be wrong. Dead wrong.