Divorce: perparing for the war

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by Stormieweather

And it's the law. So if she refuses to consider complying with the law and insists on being unreasonable, I would probably play hardball and go for full custody.

It's important to note that it isn't actually his child. He was a stay-at-home stepdad for 2 years, which is certainly emotionally important to the kid, but legally, he's not even a resident of the country. He has absolutely no rights to see him, unless she magnanimously decides to allow it.

Traceur, if what you really want is residency and a relationship with this child, I'd do everything I could to place nice with her. But it sounds like she's beyond that, and you may not be in a position to "save" the kid from her or anything else. Also remember that with any visitation granted will come child support, thousands upon thousands of dollars a year. If you get put on record as the nominal dad, that's permanent, and that money will continue to flow from you no matter where she moves or who else she shacks up with. It may be time to batten down the hatches and just protect yourself as best you can.

[glatt]

And if you don't pay child support that you are supposed to be paying, in the US, you can be thrown in jail until you pay. I know someone (a real jerk) who had this happen to him. He spent about a month in jail before his parents came up with the thousands of dollars he owed his ex.

[Stormieweather]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

It's important to note that it isn't actually his child. He was a stay-at-home stepdad for 2 years, which is certainly emotionally important to the kid, but legally, he's not even a resident of the country. He has absolutely no rights to see him, unless she magnanimously decides to allow it.

Traceur, if what you really want is residency and a relationship with this child, I'd do everything I could to place nice with her. But it sounds like she's beyond that, and you may not be in a position to "save" the kid from her or anything else. Also remember that with any visitation granted will come child support, thousands upon thousands of dollars a year. If you get put on record as the nominal dad, that's permanent, and that money will continue to flow from you no matter where she moves or who else she shacks up with. It may be time to batten down the hatches and just protect yourself as best you can.

Gotcha. That's why I asked for the backstory. Disregard my advice as irrelevant.

As ex-step dad, you probably don't have any rights that she doesn't grant you.

I let my son go visit his ex-step dad along with his half-sister for as long as everyone involved wanted it. Both son and XSD lost interest fairly rapidly and they haven't spoken in years now.