Bambi's Aunt Rides Again

footfootfoot · 11-15-2011, 09:49 AM

Damn.
Those fucking deer.
I was in the tree stand again yesterday afternoon waiting for them to return. They did. I stood still for a long ass time while the big doe looked, left, returned, left, returned, left, returned looked at me, kept eating, and finally got into THE PERFECT QUARTERING AWAY position, head turned away and eating when I let my arrow loose.

Perfect height for a heart shot.

Three inches in front of her. Thwap! into the earth.

She and her two friends leaped away, ran ten or fifteen feet, stopped, looked around. Ran another 20 feet, stopped and looked around, then walked off to the far end of the field.

I totally choked and missed a perfect shot.

OTOH, it was the first arrow I'd ever shot at anything besides a foam target. As an over-achieving perfectionsit, that doesn't really take the sting out of it.

(That was an intentionally ironic misspelling)

Trilby · 11-15-2011, 09:51 AM

NOW I CAN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!

BigV · 11-15-2011, 11:17 AM

Don't worry Brianna. It happens to us guys sometimes. footfootfoot's ability to shoot will return. He said so himself "performance anxiety". If you're less hard on him, he'll be more hard on you--wink wink nudge nudge.

footfootfoot · 11-15-2011, 11:20 AM

yeah. Seriously Bri, go easy on me, I did say it was my first time.

Trilby · 11-15-2011, 11:24 AM

No, no!

I can't love a man who would kill Bambi! (Or Bambi's Aunt)

Sundae · 11-15-2011, 11:30 AM

I wouldn't turn down a venison dinner.
At least the doe had a better life than the vast majority of dairy cows or egg laying chickens (every male chick hatched is killed).

BigV · 11-15-2011, 11:32 AM

yeesh.

footfootfoot? did you kill bambi? no. did you kill bambi's aunt? no. but you're outta luck anyhow. harsh bro, harsh.

BigV · 11-15-2011, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

No, no!

I can't love a man who would kill Bambi! (Or Bambi's Aunt)

infinite monkey · 11-15-2011, 11:51 AM

Maybe he'll be like when Opie shot the bird with his slingshot and felt really badly about it.

Undertoad · 11-15-2011, 11:57 AM

Bitches talk about not finding a good man with an acceptable number of teeth, but minutes later they're all hating on a good-looking, sensitive, highly intelligent, cultured dwellar, whose marriage is iffy, just because he's a bow hunter.

Bitches need to figure out some priorities.

infinite monkey · 11-15-2011, 11:58 AM

He's not hunting bows, he's hunting DEER!

'Sides, I've not seen his teeth.

Sundae · 11-15-2011, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

Bitches talk about not finding a good man with an acceptable number of teeth, but minutes later they're all hating on a good-looking, sensitive, highly intelligent, cultured dwellar, whose marriage is iffy, just because he's a bow hunter.

Bitches need to figure out some priorities.

Ex-squeeze me?
This bitch was thinkin' with her stummick!
Don't tie me in with those bitches.
Imma gonna eat them when the apocalypse comes.

(Sorry bitches, love you really, especially with chutney)

infinite monkey · 11-15-2011, 12:12 PM

..

Trilby · 11-15-2011, 02:23 PM

*scuffles feet*

Sorry, Toad. I was thinking with my warm and womanly heart that looooooooves all furry creatures of the woodland and grassland and mountain ranges. Monsters that dwell in the water - not so much. If Footy was bow hunting, oh, let's say an alligator, now that I could get behind.

And I like my filet mignon med. rare.

Trilby · 11-15-2011, 02:25 PM

ps - if Sundae eats me due to the apocolypse my wish is to be stewed in Smirnoff first.

11-15-2011, 09:49 AM	#1
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Bambi's Aunt Rides Again Damn. Those fucking deer. I was in the tree stand again yesterday afternoon waiting for them to return. They did. I stood still for a long ass time while the big doe looked, left, returned, left, returned, left, returned looked at me, kept eating, and finally got into THE PERFECT QUARTERING AWAY position, head turned away and eating when I let my arrow loose. Perfect height for a heart shot. Three inches in front of her. Thwap! into the earth. She and her two friends leaped away, ran ten or fifteen feet, stopped, looked around. Ran another 20 feet, stopped and looked around, then walked off to the far end of the field. I totally choked and missed a perfect shot. OTOH, it was the first arrow I'd ever shot at anything besides a foam target. As an over-achieving perfectionsit, that doesn't really take the sting out of it. (That was an intentionally ironic misspelling) __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

11-15-2011, 09:51 AM	#2
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	NOW I CAN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

11-15-2011, 11:17 AM	#3
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Don't worry Brianna. It happens to us guys sometimes. footfootfoot's ability to shoot will return. He said so himself "performance anxiety". If you're less hard on him, he'll be more hard on you--wink wink nudge nudge. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

11-15-2011, 11:20 AM	#4
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	yeah. Seriously Bri, go easy on me, I did say it was my first time. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

11-15-2011, 11:24 AM	#5
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	No, no! I can't love a man who would kill Bambi! (Or Bambi's Aunt) __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

11-15-2011, 11:30 AM	#6
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I wouldn't turn down a venison dinner. At least the doe had a better life than the vast majority of dairy cows or egg laying chickens (every male chick hatched is killed). __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

11-15-2011, 11:32 AM	#7
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	yeesh. footfootfoot? did you kill bambi? no. did you kill bambi's aunt? no. but you're outta luck anyhow. harsh bro, harsh. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

11-15-2011, 11:51 AM	#9
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Maybe he'll be like when Opie shot the bird with his slingshot and felt really badly about it.

11-15-2011, 11:57 AM	#10
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Bitches talk about not finding a good man with an acceptable number of teeth, but minutes later they're all hating on a good-looking, sensitive, highly intelligent, cultured dwellar, whose marriage is iffy, just because he's a bow hunter. Bitches need to figure out some priorities.

11-15-2011, 11:58 AM	#11
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	He's not hunting bows, he's hunting DEER! 'Sides, I've not seen his teeth.

11-15-2011, 12:12 PM	#13
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	.. Attached Images

11-15-2011, 02:23 PM	#14
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	scuffles feet Sorry, Toad. I was thinking with my warm and womanly heart that looooooooves all furry creatures of the woodland and grassland and mountain ranges. Monsters that dwell in the water - not so much. If Footy was bow hunting, oh, let's say an alligator, now that I could get behind. And I like my filet mignon med. rare. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

11-15-2011, 02:25 PM	#15
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	ps - if Sundae eats me due to the apocolypse my wish is to be stewed in Smirnoff first. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

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