Bambi's Aunt Rides Again
 

Damn.
Those fucking deer.
I was in the tree stand again yesterday afternoon waiting for them to return. They did. I stood still for a long ass time while the big doe looked, left, returned, left, returned, left, returned looked at me, kept eating, and finally got into THE PERFECT QUARTERING AWAY position, head turned away and eating when I let my arrow loose.

Perfect height for a heart shot.

Three inches in front of her. Thwap! into the earth.

She and her two friends leaped away, ran ten or fifteen feet, stopped, looked around. Ran another 20 feet, stopped and looked around, then walked off to the far end of the field.

I totally choked and missed a perfect shot.

OTOH, it was the first arrow I'd ever shot at anything besides a foam target. As an over-achieving perfectionsit, that doesn't really take the sting out of it.


(That was an intentionally ironic misspelling)

Don't worry Brianna. It happens to us guys sometimes. footfootfoot's ability to shoot will return. He said so himself "performance anxiety". If you're less hard on him, he'll be more hard on you--wink wink nudge nudge.

yeah. Seriously Bri, go easy on me, I did say it was my first time.

No, no!

I can't love a man who would kill Bambi! (Or Bambi's Aunt)

:(

I wouldn't turn down a venison dinner.
At least the doe had a better life than the vast majority of dairy cows or egg laying chickens (every male chick hatched is killed).

yeesh.

footfootfoot? did you kill bambi? no. did you kill bambi's aunt? no. but you're outta luck anyhow. harsh bro, harsh.

Maybe he'll be like when Opie shot the bird with his slingshot and felt really badly about it.

:(

Bitches talk about not finding a good man with an acceptable number of teeth, but minutes later they're all hating on a good-looking, sensitive, highly intelligent, cultured dwellar, whose marriage is iffy, just because he's a bow hunter.

Bitches need to figure out some priorities.

He's not hunting bows, he's hunting DEER!

'Sides, I've not seen his teeth. ;)

Ex-squeeze me?
This bitch was thinkin' with her stummick!
Don't tie me in with those bitches.
Imma gonna eat them when the apocalypse comes.




(Sorry bitches, love you really, especially with chutney)

..

*scuffles feet*


Sorry, Toad. I was thinking with my warm and womanly heart that looooooooves all furry creatures of the woodland and grassland and mountain ranges. Monsters that dwell in the water - not so much. If Footy was bow hunting, oh, let's say an alligator, now that I could get behind.

And I like my filet mignon med. rare.

:D

ps - if Sundae eats me due to the apocolypse my wish is to be stewed in Smirnoff first.