Masters of deception... He or She? - Page 2

TheMercenary · 11-11-2009, 07:06 PM

Yea, and where is the graph which pretends to strengthen the results?

Cloud · 11-11-2009, 07:30 PM

I don't know about in general, but my boss (a man) wins the gossip prize today.

He sent out an email to a bunch of his friends commenting on his partner's brother in law being abducted over the weekend, and giving details on the ransom, negotiations, and escape . . . but he didn't send it to his partner. The email got bounced around from person to person and was finally sent to his partner--did you see this?

Oops. Partner is rightfully pissed!

Cicero · 11-11-2009, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by john bainz

pole done amongst UK women to determine how long a female could keep confidential information to themselves.

The pole revealed

I question your statistics! It's a pole for heaven's sakes! It is not to be trusted! I would never normally mention this, but I heard the pole....:p

TheMercenary · 11-11-2009, 11:24 PM

And be careful when talking about man poles.

lumberjim · 11-11-2009, 11:41 PM

it's supposed to be 'poll' ...right?

john bainz · 11-12-2009, 03:21 AM

A couple of guys around where I work have the habit of talking to people about other people saying stuff which is either a quarter of the truth or totally George Lucas. Then when they've done enough of that they let the story take it's own course and then after a while someone would be really pissed off for whatever reason... And in the distance a couple of guys would be in stitches and these are grown up men that I work with.

The modus operandi amonst females (around here) takes a more dramatic and serious turn and in some cases the victims of gossip can also turn out to be the ignitors of the whole damn thing.

My opinion:
I think males get involved to laugh and have fun while females on the other hand take it to a level which can have serious consequences.

DanaC · 11-12-2009, 06:38 AM

The main difference, in my own experience, is merely a matter of labels. When men talk about people who aren't there, it doesn't get labelled as gossip. When women talk about people who aren't there, it gets labelled as gossip.

I really don't think there is any real difference between men and women when it comes to either 'gossiping', lying, or keeping secrets. There is huge variance between individuals.

Shawnee123 · 11-12-2009, 07:50 AM

Yes, Dana. My sentiments exactly.

All one needs to do is sit for a while at my club, wait for someone to leave, and listen to the old guy farts (who I dearly love!) talk about whoever just left.

Maybe I'm not privy to it, but I don't hear the kind of gossip here that I heard in my old office.

I'll admit to occasionally not minding "hearing" the gossip, if it's not vicious, but I don't repeat it. I then make my own conclusions. In the end it doesn't matter what's true or not, I am only affected by how people treat me.

Lying should be avoided at all costs, no matter who you are.

I did read an article recently that men tend to lie more about stuff like "where they've been" and women tend to lie more about money stuff.

Finally, I don't mind when people talk about me behind my back. It just means my life is more exciting to them than their own.

I know what's true.

Shawnee123 · 11-12-2009, 09:16 AM

Clodfobble · 11-12-2009, 09:20 AM

The thing that astounds me is people who think the rest of us can't see patterns. Like, let's say I had a coworker who had at one time or another bitched or gossiped about every single other person in our department. What are the chances that I'm magically the only one she's never spoken badly about to our other coworkers? Yet I feel really sure that she would never in a million years have imagined that I viewed her as untrustworthy.

Shawnee123 · 11-12-2009, 09:27 AM

Oh, so true. A couple ex cow orkers, who I liked in most ways, would tell me things they had no business telling me. A smile and a nod and a cursory response, and I would walk away thinking "is it my turn now?"

I also believe in keeping people's secrets: if someone tells me something it won't go further, and I would hear these people telling me something they hadn't just heard out of nosiness, but had been told IN CONFIDENCE.

I don't get it. It's just so low!

There have been times when I say "no, don't tell me, that's none of my business." Some folks are notorious, like it's a sickness, at doing this.

SamIam · 11-12-2009, 09:35 AM

What about men who kiss and tell?

Shawnee123 · 11-12-2009, 09:36 AM

dunno. Know any?

monster · 11-12-2009, 09:44 AM

Will any dwellar admit to being a terrible gossip? Or even quite a good one? I like to hear all the gossip as long as it's not malicious i.e. intended to cause damage to a person's reputation. In a gossipy situations, I will share what I believe to be true with close friends unless I was told in confidence. I think it's human nature. But maybe I'm just not natural.

Possibly men "gossip" less if you don't call yattering about sports "gossiping" but frankly what I overhear seems to be speculation and opinion about the skills and intentions of players they don't know personally, and ability of the people they do know to judge these things ...and if that isn't gossiping.....

Shawnee123 · 11-12-2009, 09:51 AM

I don't know if anyone admits to it or not: like I said, it's like an illness with some people. Somehow, being "in the know" gives them a leg up, or something. I'm not sure they recognize it or, if they do, can control it.

But they exist. Right here, even, in the Cellar.

You don't have to deny being a gossip to not be a gossip, however...one only needs to look at historical behaviors. That street goes both ways. My problem is remembering that one who acts as if they are really concerned, and has stabbed my back in the past, probably doesn't have my interests at heart, no matter how they seem to commiserate and care.

11-11-2009, 07:06 PM	#16
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Yea, and where is the graph which pretends to strengthen the results? __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

11-11-2009, 07:30 PM	#17
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	I don't know about in general, but my boss (a man) wins the gossip prize today. He sent out an email to a bunch of his friends commenting on his partner's brother in law being abducted over the weekend, and giving details on the ransom, negotiations, and escape . . . but he didn't send it to his partner. The email got bounced around from person to person and was finally sent to his partner--did you see this? Oops. Partner is rightfully pissed! __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

11-11-2009, 11:24 PM	#19
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	And be careful when talking about man poles. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

11-11-2009, 11:41 PM	#20
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	it's supposed to be 'poll' ...right? __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

11-12-2009, 07:50 AM	#23
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Yes, Dana. My sentiments exactly. All one needs to do is sit for a while at my club, wait for someone to leave, and listen to the old guy farts (who I dearly love!) talk about whoever just left. Maybe I'm not privy to it, but I don't hear the kind of gossip here that I heard in my old office. I'll admit to occasionally not minding "hearing" the gossip, if it's not vicious, but I don't repeat it. I then make my own conclusions. In the end it doesn't matter what's true or not, I am only affected by how people treat me. Lying should be avoided at all costs, no matter who you are. I did read an article recently that men tend to lie more about stuff like "where they've been" and women tend to lie more about money stuff. Finally, I don't mind when people talk about me behind my back. It just means my life is more exciting to them than their own. I know what's true. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

11-12-2009, 03:21 AM	#21
john bainz Mystical Miscreant Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 46	A couple of guys around where I work have the habit of talking to people about other people saying stuff which is either a quarter of the truth or totally George Lucas. Then when they've done enough of that they let the story take it's own course and then after a while someone would be really pissed off for whatever reason... And in the distance a couple of guys would be in stitches and these are grown up men that I work with. The modus operandi amonst females (around here) takes a more dramatic and serious turn and in some cases the victims of gossip can also turn out to be the ignitors of the whole damn thing. My opinion: I think males get involved to laugh and have fun while females on the other hand take it to a level which can have serious consequences.

11-12-2009, 09:16 AM	#24
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	__________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

11-12-2009, 09:20 AM	#25
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	The thing that astounds me is people who think the rest of us can't see patterns. Like, let's say I had a coworker who had at one time or another bitched or gossiped about every single other person in our department. What are the chances that I'm magically the only one she's never spoken badly about to our other coworkers? Yet I feel really sure that she would never in a million years have imagined that I viewed her as untrustworthy. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

11-12-2009, 09:27 AM	#26
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Oh, so true. A couple ex cow orkers, who I liked in most ways, would tell me things they had no business telling me. A smile and a nod and a cursory response, and I would walk away thinking "is it my turn now?" I also believe in keeping people's secrets: if someone tells me something it won't go further, and I would hear these people telling me something they hadn't just heard out of nosiness, but had been told IN CONFIDENCE. I don't get it. It's just so low! There have been times when I say "no, don't tell me, that's none of my business." Some folks are notorious, like it's a sickness, at doing this. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

11-12-2009, 09:35 AM	#27
SamIam Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Not here Posts: 2,655	What about men who kiss and tell?

11-12-2009, 09:36 AM	#28
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	dunno. Know any? __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

11-12-2009, 09:44 AM	#29
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Will any dwellar admit to being a terrible gossip? Or even quite a good one? I like to hear all the gossip as long as it's not malicious i.e. intended to cause damage to a person's reputation. In a gossipy situations, I will share what I believe to be true with close friends unless I was told in confidence. I think it's human nature. But maybe I'm just not natural. Possibly men "gossip" less if you don't call yattering about sports "gossiping" but frankly what I overhear seems to be speculation and opinion about the skills and intentions of players they don't know personally, and ability of the people they do know to judge these things ...and if that isn't gossiping..... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

11-12-2009, 09:51 AM	#30
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I don't know if anyone admits to it or not: like I said, it's like an illness with some people. Somehow, being "in the know" gives them a leg up, or something. I'm not sure they recognize it or, if they do, can control it. But they exist. Right here, even, in the Cellar. You don't have to deny being a gossip to not be a gossip, however...one only needs to look at historical behaviors. That street goes both ways. My problem is remembering that one who acts as if they are really concerned, and has stabbed my back in the past, probably doesn't have my interests at heart, no matter how they seem to commiserate and care. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

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