CyberBully

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by dar512

I'm always shocked when I see stuff like this from you, Jim. I think of you as a nice guy - wacky but fun. Then stuff like this comes along and completely floors me. It shows such a lack of empathy/compassion that the mind boggles.

well....dar.....that's where you're coloring in your own opinions of what kind of person I am. and you too, Pie...

that statement is, in my opinion, accurate. there ARE people out there that take satisfaction from being victimized. they need/want the compassion that they get from it.....it's passive aggression. munchausen(sp?) whatever...

I have no idea if the example used in this post is that aspect, or a legit victim. irrelevant to my point.

...the only reason i pointed it out at all was because there is a fucking website for someone to sell advertising on (mention of which made it into the article/advert, oddly enough).....is, most likely, the real reason for it's existence. opportunistic profiteering on the victimization of those 'poor poor teens' who can't step away from the computer, ignore text messages etc etc...

the website encourages a victim mentality. they benefit from it.

now call me a shit some more

i think you're full of yourself and overestimate the value of your so called honor. and i am seldom floored by it. or boggled.

i still love you though, cock.

[Undertoad]

Originally Posted by lumberjim

...the only reason i pointed it out at all was because there is a fucking website for someone to sell advertising on (mention of which made it into the article/advert, oddly enough).....is, most likely, the real reason for it's existence. opportunistic profiteering on the victimization of those 'poor poor teens' who can't step away from the computer, ignore text messages etc etc...

the website encourages a victim mentality. they benefit from it.

What usually encourages a serious victim mentality is personality, combined with dehumanizing physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, neglect, or other serious adverse events during childhood.

it doesn't really come from websites

If somebody has worked out a way for a supportive caring atmosphere to make money, I salute them! I think that being relentlessly bullied for a year helped to turn my panic disorder into social anxiety disorder, but I'd never know without serious therapy. Oh well!

[dar512]

Originally Posted by lumberjim

well....dar.....that's where you're coloring in your own opinions of what kind of person I am. and you too, Pie...

Possibly. Here's what you said: "some folks are out there LOOKING to be victims. just sayin'"

The subtext I heard was "... so they deserve whatever they get."

If that's not the statement you intended to make, then I'm confused as to why you brought up the point.

Originally Posted by lumberjim

i think you're full of yourself

Because I try to act ethically and I speak out against unethical behavior? Does that equal stuck-up to you?

Originally Posted by lumberjim

overestimate the value of your so called honor.

I don't think it is possible to overestimate ethical behavior. It is the basis for trust.

[jinx]

Possibly. Here's what you said: "some folks are out there LOOKING to be victims. just sayin'"

The subtext I heard was "... so they deserve whatever they get."

I think you should think about why you heard a subtext that isn't there. "Deserve whatever they get" is a judgment and not what we're talking about at all. Acknowledging the roles we play in the events in our own lives isn't about judgment, it's about learning, growing, being safe etc...
I can believe that rape is bad and rapists are always at fault and still teach my daughter that she is responsible for her own safety.

If you only address half the problem, you're gonna get a half-assed solution (see Mercs article).

[dar512]

I admit that I have a sensitivity to the subject having been bullied in HS, but I think it was natural to read that subtext into Jims post. After reflection, I realized that I had read that into his post.

I am still confused, however, by just why he would post that. Do you and Jim believe that this is the most common scenario? That bullies pick on those who set themselves up to be bullied? I don't buy that. It may occur, but I'd be willing to bet it is a very small percentage of the cases.

If you think that each person can (on their own) deter being bullied, then you are mistaken. Some of us are smaller or fatter or weaker.

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by dar512

Possibly. Here's what you said: "some folks are out there LOOKING to be victims. just sayin'"

The subtext I heard was "... so they deserve whatever they get."

If that's not the statement you intended to make, then I'm confused as to why you brought up the point.

so you heard what you expected to hear, and assumed my intent. I already clarified this point, but once more.....SOME people are looking to play victim. as for why I brought it up....it was because the victim DOES play a role in bullying.....and no one had mentioned that yet. hence.....discussion. until you began casting personal aspersions about. yes you...

jinx pointed out something interesting to me...

notice how all of the people that have said they were bullied have lashed out inappropriately at one person or another? sheldon is glad someone is DEAD? wtf?

Originally Posted by dar512

Because I try to act ethically and I speak out against unethical behavior? Does that equal stuck-up to you?

no...it's not because of WHAT you say...it's HOW you say it. condescending tone that implies your superior sense of honor......constantly. and what behavior of mine was unethical in this thread? I have been making an effort lately to NOT bully or personally insult people unless they go first. you have not noticed this, i expect.....

Originally Posted by dar512

I don't think it is possible to overestimate ethical behavior. It is the basis for trust.

i agree with that.