CyberBully

[Pie]

Lj, you were trolling. Admit it. Then you can 'play the victim' after the inevitable pile-on.
:p

[Shawnee123]

I don't think lj, classic, or myself are heartless because of our comments. It's a different perspective, to be sure.

My answer was not thought out, and no I don't understand being bullied. Why was I never bullied? I suppose there are a lot of reasons: lack of qualified bulliers perhaps, but I also feel that I never put myself out there for that. I've said before I'm scarily fearless ('cept for spiders) and perhaps I've always carried myself in a way that precluded me seeming victimizable. It's also not that there weren't people in my childhood, or young adulthood, who didn't try to go there. They quickly gave up that effort when they saw I wasn't playing that game.

I do feel compassion for people, more deeply than it must seem. It is only the people I care about I seem to let treat me badly: strangers can take a flying leap because I won't be backed into a corner without a really big fight. I'm not playing toughwoman: this is just the way I am, the way I've always been.

I am sorry if I seemed to make light of your individual situations. My response was to the article, which elicited from me my first thought: stand up for yourself because no one else is going to do that for you.

[Pie]

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

my first thought: stand up for yourself because no one else is going to do that for you.

I understand your point of view; and it's true, in limited situations. But it becomes neigh-unto-impossible when you have to stand up to 1000+ people for years.
Most people survive. It does leave long-term scars; bullying is one of the three reasons I will never have children. My kids are bound to be as ugly as me; there would be no hope for them.

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by Pie

as ugly as me; there would be no hope for them.

cutest ugly chick I know....

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by Pie

I understand your point of view; and it's true, in limited situations. But it becomes neigh-unto-impossible when you have to stand up to 1000+ people for years.
Most people survive. It does leave long-term scars; bullying is one of the three reasons I will never have children. My kids are bound to be as ugly as me; there would be no hope for them.

My experience echoes this. One of the key reasons I won;t have children is that i don't want my heart broken constantly day in and day out, like my mum's. I don't want a kid with eczema (likely) because that's just a fucking big target sign right there. But it can be something smaller. And Shawnee, you can be as fearless and plucky as y'like but if you have the misfortune to run into a particularly competant bully who can turn it into something bigger, you're fucked. Once it gets past the intimacy of your immediate peers and makes into the class, the year, or the main student body, then changing that is like turning a juggernaut.

I suspect the people who tried it on with you just weren't very good at it. Bullying, real bullying, the sort that exists in both playgrouind and office and can utterly destroy lives, child and adult, isn't about getting the shit kicked out of you, though yes that figures. Its about a character assassination that includes making you responsible for the bullying. It includes painting you axs uniquely deserving of that contempt. It usually involves the bully being painted as the 'victim' of some perceived wrong at the hands of the bullied. I've experienced it as a child. I've seen it as an adult. I've counselled people through it when it's been threatening their health and ability to do their job.

Lj. I hear what you say. BUt to me, you just add to the noise. The hazy cloud that stops people seeing clearly who actually is the victim and where the responsibility actually lies.

So come on. Hey Shaw, Classic and Jim: why don't you tell me now that I asked for it. Tell me, did I paint victim on my back? Was that me?

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by Pie

But it becomes My kids are bound to be as ugly as me; there would be no hope for them.

Bullshit, you cute chicks just don't want competition from younger cute chicks. :p

[monster]

Originally Posted by Pie

I will never have children. My kids are bound to be as ugly as me; there would be no hope for them.

WWWWWWWHAT. THEFUCK. ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I didn't comment before because I thought maybe I misremembered what you looked like, and there's nothing more patronizing than telling a genuinely ugly person that they are not..... ....but no... you just posted this pic.... you are as cute as all get out.... and I am a non les-type who isn't into all the girly false compliment shit..... so shut up and listen....

Huge brown eyes to drown in, framed by eyebrows (note the plural -nowhere near a unibrow) that architects would die to design. Cheekbones plastic surgeons would use in their after ads... nose and chin so cute disney would design characters around them, and last -but by no means least- a smile that promises way more than any human has any right to expect to get. I'm not even going to start on the hair... much....but it ain't mouse and it knows it wants to be wavy. that rocks in my world.

SO SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY. (But still don't have babies unless you want them.)

I do feel your pain. It's only in the last 5 years -since I found the pictures of me -the fat nerdy bullied 16yo in the cerise bathing suit- and looked at them through my grown-up eyes, that I realised I wasn't actually fat then. i just believed the assholes who said I was. I was still a nerd with bad fashion sense -still am and am OK with that, but it's the fat thing that has always stuck with me and -damnit- turns out I wasn't. Turns out you're not ugly.

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by Pie

Lj, you were trolling. Admit it. Then you can 'play the victim' after the inevitable pile-on.
:p

you've got me and The Mercenary confused, Pie.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by lumberjim

you've got me and The Mercenary confused, Pie.

I don't think so.