Dear Cellar: - Page 2

Cicero · 02-25-2009, 01:00 PM

Dear Kim-

Please consider buying a houseplant and keeping it alive for at least 2 years. If that works, get a dog and keep it alive as well. Then you may move your way up to a husband, and if that works....You will legally have a monkey in any state.

sweetwater · 02-25-2009, 01:46 PM

You don't suppose Kim wants the Cellar monkey, do you? The top of the page would look nekkid without it up there.

classicman · 02-25-2009, 01:56 PM

Call in security!

ZenGum · 02-25-2009, 06:26 PM

I say we send her ALL of these replies.

Undertoad · 02-25-2009, 06:33 PM

I've just pointed her to the thread.

monster · 02-25-2009, 07:48 PM

Kim,

Go for the trunk monkey. they're probably not legal anywhere, but hey, like that matters....

wolf · 02-25-2009, 08:14 PM

My suicide class presenter from last week showed us a couple of trunk monkey videos. He used these and other really cool videos to get people back into their seats after breaks. Very few stragglers that way.

He would also scream "Pay attention to me, pay attention to me, it's all about me, I'm an attention whore."

I didn't actually learn anything really new about suicide, I had the class 10 years ago when it was new and the presenter was the guy who developed the class. It was free to attend (homeland security money funded the class) and I had a very entertaining two paid days off work, as well as free lunch and continental breakfast. I did buy my own morning coffee, as I am well familiar with the brew served up at the Fire Academy. One of the important things they train the fire recruits in is how to tolerate fire house coffee. I'm not saying it's bad, but they also train the county's HAZMAT people there.

capnhowdy · 02-25-2009, 08:25 PM

Kim,
Sure. They are legal in all states, as long as you can provide typewriters for them.

Pie · 02-25-2009, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnhowdy

Kim,
Sure. They are legal in all states, as long as you can provide typewriters for them.

Someone tried the experiment.

Quote:

But after a month, the Sulawesi crested macaques had only succeeded in partially destroying the machine, using it as a lavatory, and mostly typing the letter "s".

Eventually the six monkeys - Elmo, Gum, Heather, Holly, Mistletoe and Rowan - produced five pages of text which consisted mainly of the letter "s".

But towards the end of the experiment, their output slightly improved, with the letters A, J, L and M also appearing.

However, they failed to come up with anything that remotely resembled a word.

Happy Monkey · 02-25-2009, 10:08 PM

I like monkeys.

classicman · 02-25-2009, 10:30 PM

lol

capnhowdy · 02-26-2009, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Happy Monkey

I like monkeys.

Very funny. Thanks, HM.

SteveDallas · 02-26-2009, 10:08 AM

This New York Times article couldn't have better timing, Kim.

N.B. The article states that "there are many thousands of pet primates" in the US. I personally would have written it as " . . . thousands of (non-human) pet primates."

Undertoad · 02-26-2009, 10:31 AM

Quote:

When Higgins was 3, he slept with the couple, often awakening Bob in the morning by climbing to the bedroom rafters and dropping onto Bob’s stomach. On one occasion, they got in a wrestling match, and Higgins put one of his “steel-like fingernails” through Bob’s scrotum.

game over man

classicman · 02-26-2009, 10:44 AM

monkey stew anyone?

02-25-2009, 01:00 PM	#16
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	Dear Kim- Please consider buying a houseplant and keeping it alive for at least 2 years. If that works, get a dog and keep it alive as well. Then you may move your way up to a husband, and if that works....You will legally have a monkey in any state. __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

02-25-2009, 01:46 PM	#17
sweetwater lives inside a Mobius strip Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 1,120	You don't suppose Kim wants the Cellar monkey, do you? The top of the page would look nekkid without it up there. __________________ I knew I shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque! - Bugs Bunny

02-25-2009, 01:56 PM	#18
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Call in security! __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

02-25-2009, 06:26 PM	#19
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	I say we send her ALL of these replies. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

02-25-2009, 07:48 PM	#21
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Kim, Go for the trunk monkey. they're probably not legal anywhere, but hey, like that matters.... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-25-2009, 06:33 PM	#20
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	I've just pointed her to the thread.

02-25-2009, 08:14 PM	#22
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	My suicide class presenter from last week showed us a couple of trunk monkey videos. He used these and other really cool videos to get people back into their seats after breaks. Very few stragglers that way. He would also scream "Pay attention to me, pay attention to me, it's all about me, I'm an attention whore." I didn't actually learn anything really new about suicide, I had the class 10 years ago when it was new and the presenter was the guy who developed the class. It was free to attend (homeland security money funded the class) and I had a very entertaining two paid days off work, as well as free lunch and continental breakfast. I did buy my own morning coffee, as I am well familiar with the brew served up at the Fire Academy. One of the important things they train the fire recruits in is how to tolerate fire house coffee. I'm not saying it's bad, but they also train the county's HAZMAT people there. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

02-25-2009, 08:25 PM	#23
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	Kim, Sure. They are legal in all states, as long as you can provide typewriters for them. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

02-25-2009, 10:08 PM	#25
Happy Monkey I think this line's mostly filler. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: DC Posts: 13,575	I like monkeys. __________________ _________________ \|...............\| We live in the nick of times. \| Len 17, Wid 3 \| \|_______________\| [pics]

02-25-2009, 10:30 PM	#26
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	lol __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

02-26-2009, 10:08 AM	#28
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	This New York Times article couldn't have better timing, Kim. N.B. The article states that "there are many thousands of pet primates" in the US. I personally would have written it as " . . . thousands of (non-human) pet primates."

02-26-2009, 10:44 AM	#30
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	monkey stew anyone? __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

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