"Cock" and other jargon

[limey]

Originally Posted by Brianna

We used to say FLK (funny looking kid) when a kid was ugly but not necessarily medically deformed. The kidjust looked weird. The parents, inevitably, looked weird, too.

Medicine uses a lot of military jargon---Fubar, snafu, stfu...

Here's some more I found:

Some others....

ART = The patient died. Stands for "Assuming room temperature."

CC = Also used when the patient has died. Means "Cancel Christmas."

WUD = Woke-up dead.

GDA = "Gonna die anyway." Sometimes written as "F BUNDY" (@#$%ed, but unfortunately not dead yet.)

FDGB = "Fall down, go boom"

GOMER = It stands for "Get out of my emergency room", e.g. used in reference to junkies trying to scam drugs from the ER.

CCFCCP = Used when the patient is obviously not mentally cogent. It stands for "Coo-coo for coco puffs."

EMS = Of course this really stands for "Emergency medical services" but the joke is that it stands for "Earn money sleeping."

TMB = This is the cause of death indicated when the patient is very old. It stands for "Too many birthdays."

Heme = A slang term for blood, used when the patient or family is listening and it might upset them.

Occipital Implant = A gunshot wound in the head.

Terminal deceleration = Fatal car crash.

FLB = "Funny looking bumps", a way to describe an abnormal EKG.

MUH = Another nondescript way to indicate a coronary condition. Means "messed up heart."

WNL = It's supposed to stand for "Within normal limits", e.g. "BP WNL" is "blood pressure within normal limits", but the joke is that it really stands for "We never looked."

PAFO - "Pissed And Fell Over

Rule of Five - means that if more than five of the patient's orifices are obscured by tubing, they have no chance of survival.

UBI - "Unexplained Beer Injury.

These're great!