Putting Out the Lights

[cklabyrinth]

I've been to the edge a few times myself. Unfortunately I didn't step over because I saw what I had to live for. I didn't step over the edge because I was simply scared. Scared of the pain, scared of a possible afterlife, scared of failing.

My situation involved an abusive sibling, a well-meaning single father who worked nights and weekends and couldn't quell the bottled hurricane that was my brother, and a lack of self-esteem on my part to effect any change.

It's been almost ten years since the abuse started. Three years after going our separate ways, I'm still convalescing. I've suppressed my feelings for so long, it's been theraputic typing them out on these forums to sort of air them out and get some semblance of closure.

Kind of as an aside, an economics professor I had a few years ago once lectured on the economics of suicide. It was quite an interesting lecture to say the least; fully realized as a discipline and fully rational.