Is it ever *ok* to cheat?

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by Iggy

Well, that might have been a bad choice of words. We want to be together for as long as possible.

Sounds to me like you love each other but both are afraid to declare an exclusive commitment for fear that will screw up what you have.

That's not an unreasonable fear. I've seen it happen many times, where a happy pair decide to marry, or just declare they are exclusive, and somehow they change..... quickly too. Like they've reached a goal and can relax, not have to work at it anymore.

Maybe it's a change in attitude, or in expectations, or taking things for granted. Maybe they have set perceptions on the proper behavior/expectations for, dating, going steady, engaged, and married, then slip into those roles unconsciously.

I don't have the answer as to why, just observed the phenomenon. But I think it can be avoided by focusing on how you and your lover treat each other, and put how the rest of the world labels you in the background.

[Elspode]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

I've seen it happen many times, where a happy pair decide to marry, or just declare they are exclusive, and somehow they change..... quickly too. Like they've reached a goal and can relax, not have to work at it anymore.

Excellent insight. I agree with your take on this. Working on things is constant. You never "arrive" at a destination. It is all a journey, and you don't stop until you divorce or die.