You’re not doing well.

[Glinda]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

I actually find it really hard to answer "good," because that's usually inaccurate. Not that everything's awful all the time, but life is just more complicated than that.

I know people aren't really asking, and it's as perfunctory as "how do you do?" or "have a nice day." But people around here--which is to say teachers, parents, mostly women when you get right down to it--say it with a certain emphasis, where they tilt their head to the side just a little, frown with their eyes but smile with their mouth, and say "how are you" or "how are you" as if to make it clear that, yes, this is a meaningless greeting elsewhere in the world, but they care so much they really mean it. If I respond to that with a glib, "Good, how are you?" then suddenly I'm the jerk.

Anyway, the answer that usually comes out of my mouth is a wry "We're getting there!" with a big smile, hopefully conveying something along the lines of "It's shit, actually, but I'm keeping positive about the whole thing!" There used to be a (male) teacher at the school who always answered the question with, "Livin' the dream!" and I might try adopting that, since the more enthusiastically you say it, the more sarcastic it sounds.

I don't remember where it came from, but there's something in my memory banks about humans just dropping the pretense of caring how someone is doing, because typically, "How are you doing?" is more of an acknowledgement of another human being than an actual, caring and concerned inquiry. The comedian (?) suggested we just stop that silliness, and simply say "acknowledge" when we pass a cow-orker in the hall or share an elevator with someone.