You’re not doing well.

[Clodfobble]

I actually find it really hard to answer "good," because that's usually inaccurate. Not that everything's awful all the time, but life is just more complicated than that.

I know people aren't really asking, and it's as perfunctory as "how do you do?" or "have a nice day." But people around here--which is to say teachers, parents, mostly women when you get right down to it--say it with a certain emphasis, where they tilt their head to the side just a little, frown with their eyes but smile with their mouth, and say "how are you" or "how are you" as if to make it clear that, yes, this is a meaningless greeting elsewhere in the world, but they care so much they really mean it. If I respond to that with a glib, "Good, how are you?" then suddenly I'm the jerk.

Anyway, the answer that usually comes out of my mouth is a wry "We're getting there!" with a big smile, hopefully conveying something along the lines of "It's shit, actually, but I'm keeping positive about the whole thing!" There used to be a (male) teacher at the school who always answered the question with, "Livin' the dream!" and I might try adopting that, since the more enthusiastically you say it, the more sarcastic it sounds.

[Glinda]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

I actually find it really hard to answer "good," because that's usually inaccurate. Not that everything's awful all the time, but life is just more complicated than that.

I know people aren't really asking, and it's as perfunctory as "how do you do?" or "have a nice day." But people around here--which is to say teachers, parents, mostly women when you get right down to it--say it with a certain emphasis, where they tilt their head to the side just a little, frown with their eyes but smile with their mouth, and say "how are you" or "how are you" as if to make it clear that, yes, this is a meaningless greeting elsewhere in the world, but they care so much they really mean it. If I respond to that with a glib, "Good, how are you?" then suddenly I'm the jerk.

Anyway, the answer that usually comes out of my mouth is a wry "We're getting there!" with a big smile, hopefully conveying something along the lines of "It's shit, actually, but I'm keeping positive about the whole thing!" There used to be a (male) teacher at the school who always answered the question with, "Livin' the dream!" and I might try adopting that, since the more enthusiastically you say it, the more sarcastic it sounds.

I don't remember where it came from, but there's something in my memory banks about humans just dropping the pretense of caring how someone is doing, because typically, "How are you doing?" is more of an acknowledgement of another human being than an actual, caring and concerned inquiry. The comedian (?) suggested we just stop that silliness, and simply say "acknowledge" when we pass a cow-orker in the hall or share an elevator with someone.

[Griff]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

I actually find it really hard to answer "good," because that's usually inaccurate. Not that everything's awful all the time, but life is just more complicated than that.

Exactly. Life is hard. I might be handling it right now but we could be off the rails in 10 seconds.

So Flint, how you doin?

[Flint]

Super!

not really, but I'm too much of a private person to disclose anything personal

...or...

rarely: just pathetically shrug and murmur something like, "meh"

and then regret allowing myself a public display of weakness

...or...

to very tangential acquaintances, in the hallway: "Good, good."

(I always pause and repeat, to challenge the assertion that it's grammatically incorrect)

[sexobon]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

… Anyway, the answer that usually comes out of my mouth is a wry "We're getting there!" with a big smile, hopefully conveying something along the lines of "It's shit, actually, but I'm keeping positive about the whole thing!" There used to be a (male) teacher at the school who always answered the question with, "Livin' the dream!" and I might try adopting that, since the more enthusiastically you say it, the more sarcastic it sounds.

My favorite reply, last used just a couple days ago, is "So far, so good." If I want to entertain the person asking, I'll say "So far, so good like in that old joke: On a beautiful spring day, people have their windows open to enjoy the fresh air when a man goes up on the roof of a ten story building and jumps off. As he's falling past the ninth floor, the eight floor, the seventh floor..., people inside could hear him saying, So far, so good. So far, so good."

My second favorite reply is adapted from the French. When they're asked the equivalent of "How's it going?", They reply "It goes." Likewise, my reply to "How are you doing?" becomes "I'm doin." (with a little *shrug*).