Colonoscopy, Talk about crap!

busterb · 11-20-2006, 02:25 PM

I started this, about my pre-flight check-up today at VA. in my BS thread, but thought more people would see here. I had about made my rabbit-ass-ed mind up not to do it. I was thinking that if I had a ct scan not long ago I was cool and this was just a training day for some intern.
My youngest son met me at VA for coffee and bullshit. He'd just got off work from cardiac unit at another hospital. A RN. He told that I needed this, because by the time a ct scan finds it, your in a world of Pooh. Also He thought me going to VA all time I'd had one.

Anyway The lady told me drinking this S^%t wouldn't be fun.
I have to drink 2 bottles of magnesium citcate starting at 5 p.m. the 27th. no food 8 a.m. the 28th. At 4 p.m. drink 8oz of golytely every 15 minutes. 4 liters.Sound like fun yet?
Said to be sure and grease my lower end with Vaseline or get scalded and have plenty of film for my brownie on hand, stay close to outhouse.
Shine told me he had one, NBFD. but he didn't have to drink all this stuff, only 2 little things he said was named fleet?
Not all fired up over this, but will do it. Wish I could

Undertoad · 11-20-2006, 02:32 PM

Aw b, buck up, we all want you posting here for a long time. If there's only a 1% chance of finding something, you would want to go through it, early detection being so important.

Think positive about it, you know if you were going to be flown to the moon and had to drink all that stuff as a part of the procedure, you would drink it with joy. Well you don't get to go to the moon. Instead you get to show your moon. But do it with joy anyway.

50 years ago they didn't have procedures like this... they just died early.

Trilby · 11-20-2006, 02:51 PM

Busterb--maybe they'll give you some nice nap-nap drugs before the 'scope! They do that for my mom!

that is something to look forward to!

I know that stuff tastes like (sorry) ass, but just keep working on it and slowly it will disappear. Did they tell you it was ok to put the stuff in the fridge and get nice and cold? Ask your doc or nurse if that is ok--makes it a bit easier to drink (A BIT, busterb--a bit!)

Spexxvet · 11-20-2006, 02:56 PM

The prep is worse than the colonoscopy. Be prepared for some discomfort. After it's done, treat yourself to a nice, big breakfast!

wolf · 11-20-2006, 03:32 PM

Good luck to you buster! Hope everything comes out all right.

*guffaw*

Just a little colonoscopy prep humor there.

I'm given to understand that they'll give you enough happy meds that you won't remember a thing.

Griff · 11-20-2006, 03:57 PM

I did it knocked out, I think its better for everone involved. good health fella

SteveDallas · 11-20-2006, 04:27 PM

Well, I was once at a pre-Christmas lunch, and I was the youngest person at the table by at least 15 years, all the others being on the north side of 50. One of the other guys was talking about going in for one in a couple days, and so everybody dragged out their colonoscopy stories. I told them even though I was a youngster and I realized I'd be more interested in the topic when I was older, that I didn't think much of it as a fun topic for lunch conversation.

Shawnee123 · 11-20-2006, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

Well, I was once at a pre-Christmas lunch, and I was the youngest person at the table by at least 15 years

AHA...you WERE at the kids table!

(I crack myself up)

Buster, good health to you!

CaliforniaMama · 11-20-2006, 05:32 PM

And when they say stick close to the outhouse, they mean park it, buster, with plenty of reading material on hand. It takes a little time to get things moving, but when they move, boy do they move. Sitting one room away was too far.

And you know what? You don't have to be absolutist about getting down all 8 oz of the gunk every time. I hit a point about halfway through that I was going to spew if I drank anymore. I took less than I should've for the next couple times and then I went back to slugging it back and everything came out just fine, thank you very much.

The procedure is a piece of cake. I woke up in the middle and watched while they took a snip. It kinda tickled! hehehehe

busterb · 11-20-2006, 05:55 PM

Thanks folks. The procedure doesn't worry me, cause she promised me great class#? drugs. Was worried about the 1:15 hr. drive, too cold to crap in the woods. But not to worry, Someone pm'ed me about that. Thanks

busterb · 11-20-2006, 06:41 PM

Parts I didn't like was signing a release for them and she told me if they find something bad will call surgery, I surely hope that before they whack on me they let me wake up and have some say so or call you ( my son, he has power of Etc.) ??
Hell I don't know what they'll do. But they best not get me POed.

On a lighter side they said, clear liquids only after 28 th. Wonder if beer is a clear liquid?? OK I know bad joke.

WabUfvot5 · 11-20-2006, 07:42 PM

That magnesium citrate actually tastes pretty good. It's mainly citric acid which is what they use to flavor (and give bite to) sodas like Mountain Dew. It's the side effects of that stuff straight that aren't fun.

WabUfvot5 · 11-20-2006, 07:45 PM

I should probably note that I'm strange and love bitter and acidic fruits like lemons and limes. Screw oranges, they are too sweet.

busterb · 11-20-2006, 08:10 PM

Hey she said I could have Mountain Dew! Am I too old to do the dew, as in one of there stupid adds.

CaliforniaMama · 11-21-2006, 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jebediah

I should probably note that I'm strange and love bitter and acidic fruits like lemons and limes. Screw oranges, they are too sweet.

And I thought I was the only one . . .

11-20-2006, 02:25 PM	#1
busterb NSABFD Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: MS. usa Posts: 3,908	Colonoscopy, Talk about crap! I started this, about my pre-flight check-up today at VA. in my BS thread, but thought more people would see here. I had about made my rabbit-ass-ed mind up not to do it. I was thinking that if I had a ct scan not long ago I was cool and this was just a training day for some intern. My youngest son met me at VA for coffee and bullshit. He'd just got off work from cardiac unit at another hospital. A RN. He told that I needed this, because by the time a ct scan finds it, your in a world of Pooh. Also He thought me going to VA all time I'd had one. Anyway The lady told me drinking this S^%t wouldn't be fun. I have to drink 2 bottles of magnesium citcate starting at 5 p.m. the 27th. no food 8 a.m. the 28th. At 4 p.m. drink 8oz of golytely every 15 minutes. 4 liters.Sound like fun yet? Said to be sure and grease my lower end with Vaseline or get scalded and have plenty of film for my brownie on hand, stay close to outhouse. Shine told me he had one, NBFD. but he didn't have to drink all this stuff, only 2 little things he said was named fleet? Not all fired up over this, but will do it. Wish I could __________________ I've haven't left very deep footprints in the sands of time. But, boy I've left a bunch.

11-20-2006, 02:51 PM	#3
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Busterb--maybe they'll give you some nice nap-nap drugs before the 'scope! They do that for my mom! that is something to look forward to! I know that stuff tastes like (sorry) ass, but just keep working on it and slowly it will disappear. Did they tell you it was ok to put the stuff in the fridge and get nice and cold? Ask your doc or nurse if that is ok--makes it a bit easier to drink (A BIT, busterb--a bit!) __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

11-20-2006, 02:56 PM	#4
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	The prep is worse than the colonoscopy. Be prepared for some discomfort. After it's done, treat yourself to a nice, big breakfast! __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

11-20-2006, 03:32 PM	#5
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Good luck to you buster! Hope everything comes out all right. guffaw Just a little colonoscopy prep humor there. I'm given to understand that they'll give you enough happy meds that you won't remember a thing. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

11-20-2006, 03:57 PM	#6
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	I did it knocked out, I think its better for everone involved. good health fella __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

11-20-2006, 02:32 PM	#2
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Aw b, buck up, we all want you posting here for a long time. If there's only a 1% chance of finding something, you would want to go through it, early detection being so important. Think positive about it, you know if you were going to be flown to the moon and had to drink all that stuff as a part of the procedure, you would drink it with joy. Well you don't get to go to the moon. Instead you get to show your moon. But do it with joy anyway. 50 years ago they didn't have procedures like this... they just died early.

11-20-2006, 04:27 PM	#7
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Well, I was once at a pre-Christmas lunch, and I was the youngest person at the table by at least 15 years, all the others being on the north side of 50. One of the other guys was talking about going in for one in a couple days, and so everybody dragged out their colonoscopy stories. I told them even though I was a youngster and I realized I'd be more interested in the topic when I was older, that I didn't think much of it as a fun topic for lunch conversation.

11-20-2006, 05:32 PM	#9
CaliforniaMama I wonder . . . Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: The Left Coast, a pretty good place to be. Posts: 1,278	And when they say stick close to the outhouse, they mean park it, buster, with plenty of reading material on hand. It takes a little time to get things moving, but when they move, boy do they move. Sitting one room away was too far. And you know what? You don't have to be absolutist about getting down all 8 oz of the gunk every time. I hit a point about halfway through that I was going to spew if I drank anymore. I took less than I should've for the next couple times and then I went back to slugging it back and everything came out just fine, thank you very much. The procedure is a piece of cake. I woke up in the middle and watched while they took a snip. It kinda tickled! hehehehe __________________ Take time for silence. You never know what you might hear.

11-20-2006, 05:55 PM	#10
busterb NSABFD Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: MS. usa Posts: 3,908	Thanks folks. The procedure doesn't worry me, cause she promised me great class#? drugs. Was worried about the 1:15 hr. drive, too cold to crap in the woods. But not to worry, Someone pm'ed me about that. Thanks __________________ I've haven't left very deep footprints in the sands of time. But, boy I've left a bunch.

11-20-2006, 06:41 PM	#11
busterb NSABFD Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: MS. usa Posts: 3,908	Parts I didn't like was signing a release for them and she told me if they find something bad will call surgery, I surely hope that before they whack on me they let me wake up and have some say so or call you ( my son, he has power of Etc.) ?? Hell I don't know what they'll do. But they best not get me POed. On a lighter side they said, clear liquids only after 28 th. Wonder if beer is a clear liquid?? OK I know bad joke. __________________ I've haven't left very deep footprints in the sands of time. But, boy I've left a bunch. Last edited by busterb; 11-20-2006 at 06:43 PM. Reason: repair

11-20-2006, 07:42 PM	#12
WabUfvot5 Operations Operative Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 634	That magnesium citrate actually tastes pretty good. It's mainly citric acid which is what they use to flavor (and give bite to) sodas like Mountain Dew. It's the side effects of that stuff straight that aren't fun.

11-20-2006, 07:45 PM	#13
WabUfvot5 Operations Operative Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 634	I should probably note that I'm strange and love bitter and acidic fruits like lemons and limes. Screw oranges, they are too sweet.

11-20-2006, 08:10 PM	#14
busterb NSABFD Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: MS. usa Posts: 3,908	Hey she said I could have Mountain Dew! Am I too old to do the dew, as in one of there stupid adds. __________________ I've haven't left very deep footprints in the sands of time. But, boy I've left a bunch.

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