Colonoscopy, Talk about crap!
 

I started this, about my pre-flight check-up today at VA. in my BS thread, but thought more people would see here. I had about made my rabbit-ass-ed mind up not to do it. I was thinking that if I had a ct scan not long ago I was cool and this was just a training day for some intern.
My youngest son met me at VA for coffee and bullshit. He'd just got off work from cardiac unit at another hospital. A RN. He told that I needed this, because by the time a ct scan finds it, your in a world of Pooh. Also He thought me going to VA all time I'd had one.

Anyway The lady told me drinking this S^%t wouldn't be fun.
I have to drink 2 bottles of magnesium citcate starting at 5 p.m. the 27th. no food 8 a.m. the 28th. At 4 p.m. drink 8oz of golytely every 15 minutes. 4 liters.Sound like fun yet?
Said to be sure and grease my lower end with Vaseline or get scalded and have plenty of film for my brownie on hand, stay close to outhouse.
Shine told me he had one, NBFD. but he didn't have to drink all this stuff, only 2 little things he said was named fleet?
Not all fired up over this, but will do it. Wish I could :bolt:

Aw b, buck up, we all want you posting here for a long time. If there's only a 1% chance of finding something, you would want to go through it, early detection being so important.

Think positive about it, you know if you were going to be flown to the moon and had to drink all that stuff as a part of the procedure, you would drink it with joy. Well you don't get to go to the moon. Instead you get to show your moon. But do it with joy anyway.

50 years ago they didn't have procedures like this... they just died early.

Busterb--maybe they'll give you some nice nap-nap drugs before the 'scope! They do that for my mom! :) that is something to look forward to!

I know that stuff tastes like (sorry) ass, but just keep working on it and slowly it will disappear. Did they tell you it was ok to put the stuff in the fridge and get nice and cold? Ask your doc or nurse if that is ok--makes it a bit easier to drink (A BIT, busterb--a bit!)

The prep is worse than the colonoscopy. Be prepared for some discomfort. After it's done, treat yourself to a nice, big breakfast!

Good luck to you buster! Hope everything comes out all right.

*guffaw*

Just a little colonoscopy prep humor there.

I'm given to understand that they'll give you enough happy meds that you won't remember a thing.

I did it knocked out, I think its better for everone involved. good health fella

Well, I was once at a pre-Christmas lunch, and I was the youngest person at the table by at least 15 years, all the others being on the north side of 50. One of the other guys was talking about going in for one in a couple days, and so everybody dragged out their colonoscopy stories. I told them even though I was a youngster and I realized I'd be more interested in the topic when I was older, that I didn't think much of it as a fun topic for lunch conversation.

AHA...you WERE at the kids table!
:lol:

(I crack myself up)

Buster, good health to you!

And when they say stick close to the outhouse, they mean park it, buster, with plenty of reading material on hand. It takes a little time to get things moving, but when they move, boy do they move. Sitting one room away was too far.

And you know what? You don't have to be absolutist about getting down all 8 oz of the gunk every time. I hit a point about halfway through that I was going to spew if I drank anymore. I took less than I should've for the next couple times and then I went back to slugging it back and everything came out just fine, thank you very much.

The procedure is a piece of cake. I woke up in the middle and watched while they took a snip. It kinda tickled! hehehehe

Thanks folks. The procedure doesn't worry me, cause she promised me great class#? drugs. Was worried about the 1:15 hr. drive, too cold to crap in the woods. But not to worry, Someone pm'ed me about that. Thanks

Parts I didn't like was signing a release for them and she told me if they find something bad will call surgery, I surely hope that before they whack on me they let me wake up and have some say so or call you ( my son, he has power of Etc.) ??
Hell I don't know what they'll do. But they best not get me POed. :rolleyes:
On a lighter side they said, clear liquids only after 28 th. Wonder if beer is a clear liquid?? OK I know bad joke.

That magnesium citrate actually tastes pretty good. It's mainly citric acid which is what they use to flavor (and give bite to) sodas like Mountain Dew. It's the side effects of that stuff straight that aren't fun.

I should probably note that I'm strange and love bitter and acidic fruits like lemons and limes. Screw oranges, they are too sweet.

Hey she said I could have Mountain Dew! Am I too old to do the dew, as in one of there stupid adds.

And I thought I was the only one . . .