Oldest son reaching out

[Cloud]

Kids fuck up, but I believe you should always leave a back door open in your house and your heart for your child. No ultimatums.

Here's a story: When BD#2 was 14, she walked out the door one day and didn't come back. I had no word from her for something like a year, and even the cops told me she was likely dead. She'd had behavior problems, and we did everything we could to try to help or cope; we thought things were better, but it wasn't enough for her.

She finally did contact me, but she was so angry at the world for so long. I made a deliberate decision not to be angry, resentful, or defensive, and to encourage any and all contact she wanted to make. I made some extraordinary concessions, and today I'm glad I did. Eventually, we did get her back, but it's been a long road for her (and she's still on it). But after growing up some, we have her back in our lives with good relationships.

So I hope your son can come back to you. There may be some bumps on the road, but don't give up hope. Treat him as gently as you can.