The Sex Thread
Okay, here it is. The place where we can talk about our experiences and such regarding sex. I would advise that people just refrain from attacking others on this thread, just because it is suppose to be about "lovin"...not "hatin" :blush:
So, someone start...
Don't be shy!
Well....okay case...here goes...
I've been with my husband since the day we met, 3 years ago, moved in with him 7 months later, married him one year after I moved in. When we met, I was 44 and he was 42. In the beginning, for about the first year, we didn't even get out of bed until well after noon on the week-ends, and we weren't sleeping! Now...I'm 47, he's 45, and some months we may only have sex 2 or 3 times. Is it menopause... age...just the new wearing off?? He says he's fine with the frequency, so unless men go through some sort of their own menopause, it shouldn't be that. There are still times when we get wild and crazy, usually after some partying, but not on a regular basis anymore. We're happy and comfortable with each other and it doesn't really bother me, but obviously I do think about it. It's such a change from 3 years ago. Normal??
Case, you fucking suck...eat a bag of shit! :)
sycamore.. am i noticing a trend here?
You saw the smiley, right? Besides, I like Case. :)
syc just thinks he has a shot at that hottie because he lives closer now.
A sex thread- what an awesome idea! :biggrin:
My sex life isn't much to talk about. One of the reasons I knew my husband was "the one" is because he isn't a very horny guy. I cannot stand men who always want to have sex- every single day, even more than once a day. It's fine when you first meet, but after a week of that, it gets kind of old. I can't be with a high-testosterone horny guy.
My husband wants it every 7-10 days. And what I love the most about his style is that he takes it when he wants it. He'll chase me around, rip my clothes off, grab me, and pretty much give me no choice but to give in and let him have it- I love that! If he just asked me for it, 99% of the time I would say "I'm tired, I'm busy, I just did my hair"- I'm full of excuses.
He doesn't hear excuses- he gets it- and once we're in the act, I start thinking "God, I'm so glad he started this because now I'm loving it"
He is SO perfect for me as far as sexual compatibility goes. He is the only guy that could get me to have sex everyday, if he wanted to.- oh, and even though he doesn't require a lot of sex, if I ever asked him to hook me up :yum: he'd be ready in an instant.
My last long term relationship was a mess because of my low libido. He felt rejected, he sat around and pouted because he listened to my stupid excuses and he never got any. He wasn't man enough to take what he wanted. He complained endlessly about the lack of sex we had. The more he complained, the less I wanted it. It ultimately destroyed us.
My ex-husband didn't complain- he cheated on me.
I'm so happy that I'm in a sexually compatible relationship- it really is very, very important.
My husband and I are usually about every 3-5 days (except of course during my "fertile days" because we've been trying to get me pregnant for awhile now, but that's a whole 'nother thread...) I could easily go less frequently, and he's happy whenever it's more frequent, but where we're at is a pretty good balance for both of us. He knows that 90% of the time it doesn't happen, it's his own damn fault for staying up late--he could have me every evening at 8:00 if he wanted, but when he comes to bed at 1:00 in the morning he gets nothing because I've already been asleep for 3 hours.
Anyone ever had to politely suggest to a boyfriend that he might be gay? I've done that.
syc just thinks he has a shot at that hottie because he lives closer now.
Well, I AM single again...
I ain't getting all nitty gritty with you bitches, but...
I've slept with 5 women, and have fucked around with 5 more. I've had good sex, okay sex and bad sex. I've never been one to sleep around, and have been in love (or at least, thought I was in love) with those I slept with. Now that I'm single again, I've thought of having sex with no commitment, but that's just not my style...never has been. Earlier this month, I got an HIV test, which came back
negative. I wasn't super concerned that I might have it, but you just never know.
Mrs. Sycamore is out there...some woman is going to be able to put up with my shit...and vice versa. But I'm in no hurry. Until then, there's always jerking off.
Hey Syc,
I'll offer you the same as I did to Brianna as you seem to be a soul in need.
I have a vacant small studio, Ok one room, above a bar in Bangkok if you need a break. Just spend some money in the bar.
There you can fall in love every day or twice a day or if you just fancy DIY at least you can find someone to do that for you.
Brianna has first refusal. On the studio.
LCanal, I feel like taking a chlorine shower after reading that post.
Alone or with Noi and her sister?
--he could have me every evening at 8:00 if he wanted, but when he comes to bed at 1:00 in the morning he gets nothing because I've already been asleep for 3 hours.
Hmm. Got me to thinking about my routine. That seems to be our pattern over the last few weeks.
The thing is the post sex cuddle stuff. Is "Ok but I'm not sleepy, I'm going to watch another hour of Discovery before I go to sleep" acceptable? I'll give it a try and see.
[QUOTE=
Anyone ever had to politely suggest to a boyfriend that he might be gay? I've done that.[/QUOTE]
I didn't say anything, but I have to wonder about the guy I dated for 2 1/2 years- the one that complained about our sex life all the time and turned me off-
This IS the sex thread, so I won't censor myself- he introduced me to the world of sex toys. He bought a strap on penis for me to use on him. I had to get drunk first- and I just couldn't wear the goddamn thing. I felt SO weird with a friggin penis strapped on and there was no way I was gonna hump him like a man...So I had to use it as a hand tool for him...He LOVED it up the ass...He used to stick things up there even when he was alone masturbating. And speaking of anal fixations, he'd eat mine if I let him, and he was always giving himself enemas. Yeah, maybe he had some homosexual tendencies...
He was one kinky MF...
Cool! I had no idea this thread would get such response!
I knew syc was just fuckin with me...he knows I have seen the craziness that goes on around here, and we are both long time cellarers. I dig the guy and even wander over to the bosque every now and again. I pretty much like to get along with everyone. Once in a while I will step out of my normal neutral character and start shit with someone if I think they are being an ass, but most of the time, I let people just do their thing without giving them too much grief.
As for syc living closer to me...it would really rock if he ever got over to my side of the river for a few drinks or something. Something tells me he doesn't make it to Copeland all that often. We don't make it to the city much, either...about the biggest city either of us can stand is Wichita. And that only lasts a few hours.
So, I suppose I ought to fess up.
:deep breath:
So, my current man and I are like...well, we have to have it pretty much every day. If we don't, we both start getting grouchy at each other and I tell him "I just need to get laid!" So, we fix that problem pretty easily. But it isn't like "Oh, honey, we should go have sex". We never really talk about it like that. It always comes through more in actions, like he smacks my butt and growls at me or I grab him and give him a great big passionate kiss in the middle of making dinner or something. I really like that about him. I can relate to what stacey said about making excuses and stuff. When I think about sex, often I just think I don't feel like it, but when my man just has to have it, it's so much more fun. I think it is great, though, that he wants it so much. Sometimes I just want it so much, so I kind of do the same thing, by trying to turn him on and doing things I know he will like. I love that he makes me feel so much like a woman...I don't know how else to describe it. I guess in the past, most of the sex I had I was sort of in control. That was just kind of how it had to be with most guys I was with, but with my fiancee, he likes to be "the man" so much, and I love it. I know it sounds kind of silly. We are just so compatible in that way. Alot of women kind of freak out about a guy who has had a lot of sex in the past, but I think it is cool that he has so much experience, because he really knows what he is doing.
We like to do stuff like play little games...I don't know if anyone else does this...we pretend we are different people...not for the sake of each other, but for ourselves. We don't do it all the time, because sometimes, we just want to be close to each other. But sometimes, it heightens things a little bit if we, say, pretend he is my boss and I am his secretary or something. There are lots of other things we pretend, but I don't really want to divulge all of it. We never pretend we are anyone specific, like, say a movie star or anything. That sort of takes the fun out of it. We are always still ourselves, but in different roles in our lives when we play.
What I really like about my guy is the way he treats my body. I am not as little and cute as I use to be, so sometimes I don't feel so good about myself...but he never makes an issue about that. He just treats my body and me like I am the hottest chick he has ever seen. He makes me feel hot, because he doesn't just talk about it, he shows it with his actions and his drive. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world, because I actually believe I am with the hottest guy I have ever seen.
About the boyfriend being gay part...yes, I have wondered about certain boyfriends being gay. I started having sex with this guy once and we were "sort of" dating, but I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong with the situation...it was like he was too much like me, or something. He didn't look gay or act gay, but he was so super sensitive, I just couldn't help but think he might be. It wasn't just the sensitive part, either...he had a really hard time when it came to sex. He didn't ask me to do anything particularly kinky, like up the ass or anything, but when we had sex, he just could not come. It was like he was afraid to or something. I couldn't stay with him. I felt bad breaking up with him, and really, I could have been more honest with him, but the sex was just so frustrating, I couldn't go on. What a hell of a thing to tell a guy, too..."I'm sorry, I can't be with you anymore...the sex is just too frustrating!" I probably could be that honest now, if I were in that same situation, but back then, I was too shy.
Ugh, now I am resisting the urge to edit that thread. I am WAY out of my comfort zone, right now! :3_eyes:
Naw, leave it, it ain't that big a deal.
Jacquelita and I are that hot for each other, except that it's weekends only.
We ain't bragging, it's just facts.
My gay boyfriend had actually been in a few situations with other men in his younger years. He also experimented with a lot of drugs during those years and he claimed that the two were linked, that the whole thing was one huge exploration/rebellion and he always knew he could never have satisfactory relationship with a guy.
But yeah, he was like your guy, case--couldn't get it up, couldn't keep it up, couldn't come. We only tried maybe once a month, and were only successful maybe once every 3 months. It got a lot worse after we had a talk about it at some point and I told him that "the sex wasn't important to me," meaning that it wasn't how I judged the relationship, trying to make him feel less insecure about it--but he must have decided it meant I didn't like sex or didn't find him attractive or something, because things just went downhill from there.
The other really awkward thing was that he had never been broken up with, ever. He had always been the one to end his relationships--and he brought this up, to me and in front me, all the freaking time. He was proud of it. I actually felt bad for his ego, and gave him plenty of time to take the hint and break up with me first, but it never happened. When I finally broke up with him, he wrote it off as a nervous breakdown on my part (a role I admit I played up a bit because, like I said, he had self-esteem problems and I genuinely felt bad for him) which he of course was very understanding about because he had had them before.
Looking back, I don't really regret the relationship, I certainly had worse ones... the whole thing is just kind of sad to me.
I want sex everyday. I like quickies as well as long, all-out, hair-pulling sessions. I could probably have sex twice a day. I LOVE everything about it but I have to respect the guy. Like StaceyV I like my men to 1) Know that I want it, and 2) give it to me! I also like thinking that I could (I never have) participate in a gang bang. MMMMMmmmmmm---LOTS of guys--LOTS AND LOTS! I've been thoroughly perverted thru men I've known. I am such a perfect addict that whatever game you're into, I'll try at least once. Except for the obvious set-in-stone no-no's. We all know what those are. I also like my men to be considerably older than I am and good at aural sex. I like a man who can talk dirty, and back it up, too. Ahhh....Sex! I wonder if I'll ever have it AGAIN?
PS--no turning this into a Thread about Possibly Gay boyfriends. This is the SEX thread--my hats off to case for providing the topic!!
:3some: YAY!!
I've done a ton of drugs but they never made me ONCE want to do another girl. EVER.
My last long term relationship was a mess because of my low libido. He felt rejected, he sat around and pouted because he listened to my stupid excuses and he never got any. He wasn't man enough to take what he wanted. He complained endlessly about the lack of sex we had. The more he complained, the less I wanted it. It ultimately destroyed us.
I have been on the other side of that kind of relationship, except the part where being aggressive and taking what I wanted resulted in a net positive result. Things were
very spicy at first, but once the relationship became pretty secure, her libido rapidly declined until she had pretty much no sex drive. At all. Ever. She still wanted the kissing and the cuddling, but not sex. I tried being aggresive at first, but her protestations just got louder until she would finally give in, and she'd lay still and look bored the whole time, which isn't particularly enjoyable for either.
I tried buying us sex books to read together and try things from, I bought vibrating toys and aromatic oils, I made heroic efforts with romance and foreplay, I gave her full-body massages (which just put her to sleep)... nothing worked. I tried asking her what she wanted, and she offered no suggestions. She explored possible medical explanations through her doctor, with no success. Every time I brought the subject up for serious discussion, she would get
very pissed off and defensive, even though I made a conscious effort to be unaccusing and open-minded.
So after awhile, my interest began to wane... and then she would get angry and hurt when I didn't show interest. She didn't want sex, she just wanted
me to want sex. And she was terrified that I'd leave her.
Whenever I brought the subject up, she probably saw it as complaining. Whenever I got frustrated by her lack of responsiveness and didn't want to be around her for awhile, she probably saw it as pouting. I wonder if she ever realized that her long-term sexual indifference reduced me from a happy, confident man into a frustrated and insecure mess.
I like to think that the problem wasn't
me... I like to think that my tool was big enough to satisfy her, and that I am attractive enough to be desirable. But maybe I'm wrong. I have had other relationships where the girl NEVER seemed bored in the sack, but maybe they just had low standards. Bah. I'll probably carry some of that insecurity around with me for the rest of my days.
Sorry for the long post. I've been bottling that one up for awhile. :)
hot pastrami-sounds like it was definitely HER problem and get rid of that feeling of insecurity you carry because of her. Some women (not me, of course!) are weird. Some are very, very weird. Some would rather manipulate you than love you. Learn to recognize those women and give wide berth. I only made fun of my professor's penis because I am hurt and trying mightily to harden my heart towards him. Size really DOESN'T matter. I was with him for over two years and I never had such awesome sex as with him. Size DOES NOT MATTER! I'm sure you are totally normal in that dept. anyway. My guy was unusually small but, man, what an ego!! It's his ego I'm doing battle with. I took an easy pot-shot, I admit, but I'm not at my best right now. Whew! Now let's talk about sex!
sex what a hangup. i like sex alot. I read hotpastrami's post and I feel your pain. I have had the same experience. From hot to not. Just layin there taking it, no kissing, no conection-bah! That's not stimulating for me either.
Sex is two parts, and the rubbing of the slippery bits is the easy part. The part that's between your ears is the increadibly good and increadibly difficult.
And I mean between her ears not mine.
Let's not talk about sex in a sex thread?
Oy! Stop not sharing what you're smoking!
My love life is in an odd place. My g/f just moved down here (as did I). But, we didn't live in the same city before hand. So, we went from not seeing each other but once a month to seeing each other every day, with very little outside social contact. When she first moved down (about six weeks ago) everything was very hot and heavy. Then, the little things started to get in the way. I'm a fairly physically intimate person. I like holding hands and kissing. Sometimes in public, most often not. But recently, everything has gotten strange. I'm not sure if the strangeness comes from us trying to figure out each other's quirks or if there is something deeper troubling us. However, I have noticed a distinct lack of initimacy and not just in the bedroom. She came home from three days away (not long, I realize) and the first time she saw me, I got a peck on the lips for a kiss. There were other people around (in another room) and I wasn't really expecting a full game of tonsil-hockey right then and there, but when I went in for a little more than a peck, she pulled away. She pulled away even more when I realized that she might be uncomfortable with a more passionate kiss and tried to give her a bigger hug.
I'm mature enough to realize that physical initmacy and emotional intimacy are closely related. However, as a question to the ladies, does that include non-sexual intimacy (kissing, hugging, holding hands, etc...) as well? Frankly, it's a little disturbing that when things get a little less that perfect, she doesn't want to be near me.
Size DOES NOT MATTER
ok Yoda.
Sex, huh? i'm not really proud of my past in that department, but i wouldn't really change anything either. i don't know if that makes sense or not.
while i was in college (post military) i was bartending in a high end microbrewery where all the rich north chicago kids hung out. not that i was innocent before that, but i was coming out of a frustrating 3 year marriage and my confidence was pretty shaken. one of the hot sorority girls picked me up and we had a great week. this was one of the stops on my trip to realizing that women sportf*ck, too. the pattern repeated itself a few times and then i realized that not only do they sporf*ck, they give referrals. apparently i had the look and the general attitude of a "bad boy" that their mothers wouldn't approve of, but i treated them very well... with that combination i was passed around the sorority house (not that i minded). then the next sorority house...
after about 2 months of that life i took a step back to evaluate and decided that i was ok living like that as long as i wasn't looking for a relationship and was always honest about it. i was a serial dater, and everyone knew it.
i had a couple of steady relationships - nothing close to g/f status - just ladies that i actually could "date" not just go home with. they knew what i was up to, and apparently it met their needs at the time. it was not uncommon, to wake up with one of the "steadies", have lunch with another, and go home with the sorority girl of the week after i closed down the bar.
the sorority girls taught me a lot, things like - A) 3 somes are not that uncommon, nor are they especially satisfying, B) college girls really do explore their Bi urges pretty frequently, C) there is absolutely no reason to feel awkward when having dinner with your date, knowing that you had hooked up with her roommate the week before.
Another very important lesson i learned a couple of times over when i did attempt to develop more of a serious relationship with a couple of people at different times - women in their early 20's really do like to be treated poorly. i was fun for them, because i fulfilled their badboy craving. i came up lacking because i held the door, paid the bill, didn't hit, kick, holler, spit, lie - or otherwise treat them poorly. i never presented myself as a badboy, it just so happens that i was a very nice guy who was a bartender, in a hardcore band, had tattoos, earrings, shaved head, facial hair... all the things mommy wouldn't approve of. when they realized i was just as comfortable with black tie dinners as i was tieing them to the bed while their roommate watched... i was history. that lesson still pisses me off.
i'm not ashamed or embarrassed of my past, but i am embarrassed to say that i don't know a definite number of how many people i was with, and i certainly don't remember all the names. in fact, i was in a social setting with someone that i had forgotten that i had hooked up with. that was awkward, after i was reminded.
anyway, because this is supposed to be a sex thread, not a bare your soul thread, disregard the above and know that i was apparently popular due to my heartfelt passion for being the best cunning linguist possible, my penchant for 4-5 hour sessions, and my unquenchable desire for "one more".
and because syc mentioned it. i have been tested. frequently. i am very very lucky that i made it out of that time in my life with nothing but memories to show for it.
oh and the wife and i have been together for > 6 years, so things have changed. like they say, when we first met all we needed was a place (and we were creative for that), now we need a reason and a private place.
as far as preferences go, i am insane for oral. and i enjoy toys (not so much on me, but for my partner). i don't get into role playing or anything, it just never worked for me. the best thing after a night of very intimate lovemaking is to wake up early and roll over for one more round of really vigorous animal-like sex. really gets the day going.
I should mention that I have experienced the opposite extreme as well... one woman I was in a relationship with wanted sex ALL THE TIME. Day and night. We'd do it four or five times in one night, and a couple of times during the day. Exhausting, but fun. I had no self-confidence problems during those months,I can tell ya that much.
Woah, you guys really ran with this one. I am enjoying reading all these posts. I think I will go grab my man for a quickie, now!
I've never been one to sleep around,
well, there's a shocker.
.......but when we had sex, he just could not come....
I have that problem every now and then. last night as a matter of fact. the g/f and I were gettin' after it in the living room after a few, ok 6, 7 or 8 beers and after i catch a buzz sometimes i just can't. it's REALLY frustrating! I was reassuring her that it wasn't her that it was me, she's the hottest chick i've dated in YEARS! just sometimes i hit that level of intoxication and just can't pop, and also, stay hard as a newly cut diamond for how ever long. i'm not bragging. actually, i'm gripping b/c like i said, it's really quite frustrating. especially when i see her feel disappointed and also like she's not doing her part when she is.
other than that, getting to use another part of the house was fun! my room mate had moved out three weeks ago so now the house is fair game! :devil:
p.s.- another thing that the problem could've been is that i have bad knees and the floor ain't that soft....
... A pool table isn't very soft either, plthijinx.
:blush: I mean, uh, I wouldn't know.
Ladys, girls. Your embarrassing me. If I was to get in bed with one of you, what would I need? Some Viagra or the $3k buck shot for a heart attact? :)
I would suggest being prepared with both.
How so?
i'm just surprised that with as dashing and deboner and fantastically cool as you are, that you haven't been gang raped by multiple cheerleader squads. that's all.
i'm just surprised that with as dashing and deboner and fantastically cool as you are, that you haven't been gang raped by multiple cheerleader squads. that's all.
I'm amazed at that myself...I was never a huge fan of cheerleaders anyway, though.
With respect to ZippyT's helpful illustration above ... Yo, he lay de ho.
This came across my desk, pardon the fruedian slip. I read all these at work and don't have a landline at home so can't write long touchy feely posts. Also no GPRS/EDGE for you techno geeks.
I just hope your former love doesn't drop this in the shower.
zippyt thank you for the picture! That pretty much made my morning.
That picture makes me want to have sex right now, for some reason. They look so happy and they're having so much fun! I want some too.
I've done a ton of drugs but they never made me ONCE want to do another girl. EVER.
You just haven't met the right girl yet... :blush:
You just haven't met the right girl yet... :blush:
Ah, maybe so. *thinks* Naw. I'd kiss another girl but do the nasty with one? I don't think so. How would you know? Would you start kissing and if it felt good go from there and let it play out? Sometimes when I do things that are skirting my comfort zone--or even waaaay out of my comfort zone--I have an out of body experience. I think if I went any further with a woman, besides kissing her I mean, I'm pretty sure I'd have a big out of body experience. I'd have to REALLY like her.
Not that there's anything wrong with it.
OK, guys. Tell us how you like to have your pipe played. I'm all ears.
:corn:
And be honest.
like a motorcycle throttle. VROOM! VROOM!
skirting my comfort zone
Heheheh... she said "skirt" .. heheh[/Beavis]
stacyv, brianna, others? - I do ask, sometimes words sometimes actions, but what the hell happened to "no means no?" I thought that was a sign of respect, and that had to be present. what about consent? shit, I've been told that it felt like rape to her when I pressed the issue.
I don't fucking get it (a big play on words sad but true). And if I wait for her to start things up, it's a couple of times a year or so.
and another thing or maybe the same thing. what a bout leaving the light on? "I'm so fat, I don't want you to see me.?!! you don't mind completely intimate sex, but I can't look at you? arrrgggh. That's furstrating. And we've been married for 15 years.
wasn't that way wehn we met. She's hot now and was hot then. beautiful body and mind blowing attitude. both our bodies are 15 yrs older, obviouisly, but the attitude is 100 years older. messed up.
how many children older? some (not all) seem to get the "i'm a mother now, i can't do that" syndrome whether they realize it or not.
what - just because you are a mother now you can't have sex on the hood of a car anymore? :mg:
The minute I hear "no," that's it. I don't play with "no."
That reminds me of the episode of Chappelle's Show where he breaks out the Love Contract and the Confidentiality Agreement...we'll all need those eventually. :)
no doesn't always mean no. once upon a time a lady i was dating kept getting pissed because i wouldn't pursue after she said no. sometimes it only means not yet - you haven't said or done the right thing to make the proposition attractive yet.
"fuck off and die you horny bastard or i'll stab you in your sleep" means exactly what it sounds like though.
no doesn't always mean no. once upon a time a lady i was dating kept getting pissed because i wouldn't pursue after she said no. sometimes it only means not yet - you haven't said or done the right thing to make the proposition attractive yet.
I don't play games with "no." It's too risky to do so these days.
what - just because you are a mother now you can't have sex on the hood of a car anymore? :mg:
"I'm sorry, dear, we're going to have to get rid of the handcuffs."
"Dad, can I borrow your handcuffs?"
I imagine most of the women who wish to be forcefully "taken" (myself included--I've never said no but I definitely prefer not to initiate) are in long-term exclusive relationships, where the guy should know exactly what "no" means.
If this is some chick you met in a bar, yeah, no means no. If this is your wife who has in the past reacted well when you were aggressive, it probably means something else.
If you don't know what no means with a particular woman, perhaps you should re-evaluate the relationship...
... A pool table isn't very soft either, plthijinx.
:blush: I mean, uh, I wouldn't know.
but the felt is so sooooooft! :D
a friend of mine and his girl have all kinds of fun, in fact they have a deal that he has to give it to her really rough at least once a month (cuz he's not into it). not sure what she has to do once a month :sheep:
last night i'd met up with them at the local watering hole and they told me about this though, damn this is funny:
she was giving him a BJ and she gaged, coughed and sneezed all at the same time all while he was um, cumming! i about feel off my bar stool in surprise and laughter!
ok, has anyone ever been doing the nasty with someone for the first time and received a request that made your eyeballs pop? i'm talking a request that makes you squirm to the point that you decide right then and there you are going to finish, leave, and make sure you never ever ever hook up with that person again? [SIZE=1]and spend the rest of the day rinsing with lysterine...[/SIZE]
ok, has anyone ever been doing the nasty with someone for the first time and received a request that made your eyeballs pop? i'm talking a request that makes you squirm to the point that you decide right then and there you are going to finish, leave, and make sure you never ever ever hook up with that person again?
Well, there was this one girl who wanted me to do her doggy style while wearing a hat and playing a giant horn....
The minute I hear "no," that's it. I don't play with "no."
You know, now that I think about it, I don't even really come out and ask about sex.
A kiss, a cuddle, a nuzzle, a caress...if she is receptive (whether she knows or not) I can usually tell and progress from there.
My lady (of 8 years now :mg: ) and I are very in tune with the others feelings as far aggression levels, intimacy desired, top/bottom leanings etc.
She is the most compatable partner I've ever had. The first person I've been with who is completely non-judgemental about sex play.
And she can be nasty, bless her little heart. :blush:
As far as chicks on chicks, I don't understand why there aren't more lesbians. The female form is so much nicer to look at, touch, explore...if I were a women I'd definitely be gay. Men are just smelly and hairy.
Hm...I'm the "toybox" type. Everything from massage oils to feather boas to kathy's kuffs. I'm all about surprise...having a child without her own bedroom, in a small house, makes it a little more difficult, though..
And it's gotta be reciprocal. It's no fun if only one person is the one to start it all the time. I have to agree with Stacey about that. I don't mind starting it now and then, but sometimes you just want to feel irresistible and get chased around the house...
And guys, foreplay--good foreplay ("wanna fuck?" is NOT foreplay, incidentally)--is probably the best thing in the world to do if you want to get attacked as the stud that you are... *grins*...and cuddling afterward will gain you LOTS of brownie points.
Silent--men are SUPPOSED to be hairy. I just so can't be attracted to a man without body hair. I don't mean someone whose back hair needs to be cut with garden shears or anything--but men are supposed to have, like, hairy legs, hairy arms, and chest hair, and all of that good caveman stuff.
(Ray Stevens) ...He had hairy boots, hairy legs, hairy arms, hairy chest, hairy chin, and a hairy hat--shaped like a big bullet, with horns comin' out the sides. His mama named him Erik cause she couldn't spell "AAAAGGGHH!!"(/Ray Stevens)
Incidentally, I read an article once that said that hairiness in men was linked to intelligence. *shrug* Who'd've thunk it?
You know, now that I think about it, I don't even really come out and ask about sex.
A kiss, a cuddle, a nuzzle, a caress...if she is receptive (whether she knows or not) I can usually tell and progress from there.
The only time I ever ask is usually on the "First times." And it's not like I'd ever come out of my face with, "Excuse me, would you like to have sex?" Though I could see myself doing that in a humorous way.
But even if I've been with the person for a while...if I want to do something/have something done and "suggest" it, and I get a verbal "no," then "no" it is.
I like toys, but only once in a while. We don't usually include them on a regular basis. We like to read good erotic porn sometimes. We will read it to each other.
lookou123 said how many children older? some (not all) seem to get the "i'm a mother now, i can't do that" syndrome whether they realize it or not.
what - just because you are a mother now you can't have sex on the hood of a car anymore?
3 all at home :(
Send them out for pizza and a double feature. :)
3 all at home
so is the issue a lack of time, a lack of desire, or a general feeling of repression (what i call the "i'm a mom" syndrome).
my wife and i had to deal with the "im a mom" thing for awhile. it was completely subconscious, but that is what it was. respectable mommies don't _____________. apparently they do, because things are generally good again. time permitting.
It's difficult with kids in the mix. By the time we get the kids to bed and the kitchen cleaned up, we are both exausted. Then you need to have some comfort level that the kids are actually asleep. When we are finally sure the kids are asleep, our own energy levels are really low. We're tired. We're more likely to just want to go to sleep ouselves. Kids are great birth control devices, cause they just wear you out.
Also, you lose the spontanious sex. It's after the kids go to bed, or not at all.
Anyway, I'm not getting it as much as I'd like to. Twice a month when I'm lucky. But when it happens, it's great.
I wanna thank all you parents for reinforcing my decision to be childfree. :)
We usually wait until nap time or something and lock the door, being really quiet...there's night time, too, but like you, we get tired by the end of the day. That spontaneous stuff is underrated. I wish we had it sometimes.
I wanna thank all you parents for reinforcing my decision to be childfree. :)
Yeah, yeah. Well, at least we have our own personal slaves by the age of 8 or 9. :D Er...wait...no, it's me that becomes a personal slave. Nevermind.
my son's 4th birthday is two days away. afternoon naps grow more and more scarce. this makes me grumpy because our prime time for sex has been for the 1-2 hour naptime. nighttime is mainly for quickies due to the drooping eyelids. this knowledge makes me even more grumpy.
my assistant actually commented the other day that i seem to be taking long lunches more often these days. trying to get while the gettin's good.
Give your son a couple of Percocets...that should knock him out real good.
I said I'm a toybox kinda gal...never said I actually get to play anymore.
I'm all about a good massage, though....Kama Sutra oil. I highly recommend it.
"No" doesn't mean "no" when the girl is laughing and smiling and teasing you.
If she says it in a serious tone, then take it as "no"
You can tell when she's just saying it to get attention or tease you, or she really means it- it's pretty easy.
As far as the first few times you're with someone, yeah, you should err on the side of caution and take it as a "no"...
My husband has a pretty low emotional intelligence IQ, but he has no problem at all differentiating between my fake "no"s and real "no"s.
And I hate scewing with the lights on- dim is okay, but I don't want my husband staring at my ass while he's behind me if I feel that I'm having a bad ass week- I get a dimple on it when I retain water from pms.
The only times I have ever been able to screw with all the lights on and stare in someone's eyes and act like an actress in a porn flick, were with cheap, shallow sex only very short "relationships" when I knew it meant nothing and I didn't care how the guy felt about me.
So, the fact that your wife is self conscious means she loves you and cares about what you think :)
I wanna thank all you parents for reinforcing my decision to be childfree. :)
my kids would like to thank you for that decision.
Firstly if you work until 9.30pm selling the likes of Rock a truck you are allowed to go home ever now and again for a nooner.
As to the 4-year old.
Sunday School looks like a good idea, either that or Vaseline on the doorknob.
Children. Nature’s punishment for having sex?
A woman friend of mine confided one day that her favourites was to tie her lover down with toilet paper and they proceed to ravish him with all the toys and techniques she could muster.
Toilet paper? I imagine some of you thinking whaaat. That's so dumb. Toilet paper will break at the slightest movement.
Who's catching on here?
She claimed she told her lovers that she would stop what she was doing if the paper broke. Apparently the experience was good enough to assure long term "relationships"
my kids would like to thank you for that decision.
And hopefully, your kids will be better humans than you are.
...tie her lover down with toilet paper
That is a great idea and it is my new life's goal to make sure that somehow, some way, my girlfriend finds her way here and reads that.
We are in the same boat as Glatt. Evenings are pretty much out, but when we can, 2-3X a month, it's worth the wait. I didn't want RugRat to be the couch potato type, so we don't have a TV in the kitchen or livingroom. Our VCR/DVD player is in the finished basement. Because getting to watch a video is a special treat, and for a 2.5 yr old she has an especially long attention span, we use a video when we need some alone time and it's not naptime. We easily get 30 min, sometimes over an hour before we hear her heading up the stairs. Lately we've been getting the last morning sex we can in before she moves to a 'big girl bed' and can pop in on us anytime she likes. Nothing like a good shag to set your day up right. Probably going to have to start drinking :coffee: instead...
i remember back when i was married and little pilot came home for adoption. it wasn't easy. oh wait, my ex's toybox was broken so we only had sex maybe 4 times a year if i was lucky. boy. am i glad i'm divorced now, from her at least, and no, sex wasn't why we got divorced, ok well part of it but not the major part and that's for another time. we be talkin' 'bout sex here! my g/f and i though do click mentally and physically, albeit that rare problem that happens every now and again as mentioned earlier but can be fun! :biggrinpi
*cough* what about BJ techniques? Hello???
That is a great idea and it is my new life's goal to make sure that somehow, some way, my girlfriend finds her way here and reads that.
Browse this thread as she happens to look over your shoulder.
*cough* what about BJ techniques? Hello???
yeah, that's what i suggested. she TOTALLY wasn't into that. and i suggest that she learn or find someone whose a unich (sp?) even before all of her surgeries (9 for endometriosis) she wouldn't do that when we had a "healthy" sex relationship. oh well. and it wasn't that healthy at all. yeah, i married her for other reasons and sex wasn't a big deal but it did make our intimate (holding/cuddling) drift apart to nothing. but now, look out!! i've only turned the g/f down once in the 4 or so months we've been dating because i was flat out exhausted.
She claimed she told her lovers that she would stop what she was doing if the paper broke.
That is delightfully diabolical and has been added to my "To Do" list.
*cough* what about BJ techniques? Hello???
i told you. like a motorcycle throttle. i'm a certified bj instructor. very affordable too. the thing is to start lighlty and slowly; nibbling is ok. but when you really want to be done with it already, get all four fingers wrapped around it, and twist and squeeze as you go up and down. get the right rythm, and make the right noises as though you're actually enjoying it, and you'll soon be done. bonus points if you take a facial or chest shot with the results of your effort.
too graphic? should i find you a good video clip?
i told you. like a motorcycle throttle.
Just as long as it's not "indian burn" style. Ouch.
Just as long as it's not "indian burn" style. Ouch.
she'd have to be pretty thirsty for that to happen. one should apply more liquor in that event.
what - just because you are a mother now you can't have sex on the hood of a car anymore? :(
I was probably in my early twenties when I realized that the reason my older brother and I learned to drive so young (we lived out in the country) was to give the folks some "alone time". I remember them telling us we could go drive "around the mile section (insert number here) times and to be sure to take turns!" And of course we NEVER said no!!
*cough* what about BJ techniques? Hello???
I am really into the whole oral sex thing and I've had some very open discussion with different ladies and I can safely say that if 500 different men read this thread, you would get 500 different answers.
Circumcised or non-circumcised? Heavy ball work? Light? None? Work the seams or everything? Light teeth? No teeth? Lots of suction? Everyone is different.
The only universal is practice suppressing your gag reflex. :p
For some good tutorials....
[SIZE=7]NSFW[/SIZE]
www.ideepthroat.com
Heather Brooke has real talent.
*cough* what about BJ techniques? Hello???
So...what about 'em? Do tell! :biggrin:
Sometimes when I "get the urge" in the afternoon I visit Annie’s' Massage and Bar in Bangkok.
After trying one or three ladies I settled, by accident on, Won. Won uses a lot of suction sufficient to be accompanied by the occasional "slurp" when she temporarily loses suction. She uses lots of ball work and I "trained " her to massage my perineum and "more". Rhythm is also important not too fast but not too slow. She uses her hand like the “motorcycle throttle” as well.
I enjoy sex with my partner but with Won I don’t have to worry about her pleasure and can concentrate solely on mine and I don’t have to worry about her getting aches and pains or getting tired.
The best part is that Won has to make it happen I fight the inevitable all the way to the point where my legs, and sometimes my whole body, shakes. It’s magic. Then she gives me a massage and another less frantic one. It’s the only time I orgasm twice in the space of 1 hour.
So 1 down and 499 to go…
um, LJ, I'm not sure if all men will agree with the nibbling thing! As far as I've learned, teeth are baaaad- very, very bad. I am hesitant to even try nibbling.
My thoughts on oral sex:
1)We know you shake the urine off of your penis and let it dry there. If you want it in someone's mouth, WASH it.
2)Balls sweat profusely and when it gets damp down there, it gets smelly real fast. WASH 'em.
3)Silent hit the "head" on the nail. Everyone is different, so you're better off asking "how do you like it?" Don't go around nibbling everyone :)
And yes, rhythmn and supression of the gag reflex are important.
Stacey's first 2 points are the biggest reason I don't go giving blowjobs every day to my man. Ugh. Sorry if that is a bit anal...er...nitpicky...I just can't stand that smell. Once it is not there, though, the rest of it is a blast.
I was thinking of taking notes, but I think I'm just going to go take a shower instead... :love:
Shower.. theres one place that is totally overrated in the s.e.x department!!
slippery but not in a good way, hard tiles, annoying shower head, water off someone elses head and into your squinting eyes, he has to hold the her and in doing so he is standing on wet tiles.. oh how safe is that!! no thanks!
Although the bathroom VANITY is definately a good location.. all those mirrors!
Hmm.:litebulb:
Has anyone designed or customized any part of their house/appartment/cellar/funiture based on the specific needs of sex. Such as maybe in Sun's case a vanity level platform in the shower or maybe someone's bed is actual the correct hieght for sex as opposed to standard stuff in Nordstrom, Sears
Shower.. theres one place that is totally overrated in the s.e.x department!!
Showers used to at the bottom of my list of "ok places to have sex, until my ex and I were desperately looking for any place to seek some relief. It had been over three weeks since I'd seen him. He and our son were only able to come down to Texas to visit one week-end every 2-3 weeks. Our daughter and I were going to be in Cook-Ft.Worth Children's hospital for 2-3 months for her bone marrow transplant. When we FINALLY sneaked away, after looking for a long frustrating time, we located a big bathroom with a locking door and a gurney in the corner. No time left to check out the gurney - it was just clothes flying off in different directions, up onto the gurney and down to business (...guess that would actually be down to pleasure!) It took some time before we realized the gurney wasn't stationary. By then we were smashing into walls, and rolling and spinning all over the room. I started to wonder if this was one of those new carts with a "brain" - one that knew its way to the linen closets, elevators, etc. For a few minutes there I thought we going to be taken out the door and down the hall! (The thought didn't slow things down though...)
Turns out there are wheel locking devices that we'd somehow overlooked. But the sex was still great as always. We ended up visiting that gurney every time he came to Texas. And no, we never locked the wheels, just continued taking a hell of a ride!
[QUOTE]Although the bathroom VANITY is definately a good location.. all those mirrors!
[/QUOTE] Aaahh...back in the newlywed days....
always hot and ready for something new! We stood around the hall of mirrors maze for
hours waiting to try to sneak back in there to attempt every position we knew surrounded by all those mirrors! Never did get enough privacy.
My "consolation prize" later at home was having sex on the observation deck of Wentz Tower, 94' above ground. - I will HAVE to post pics! (Of the
TOWER!!) When we finally arrived on the top of the tower, wheezing, out of breath with leg muscles spazing and lungs on fire, he immediately stripped me down and kind of pulled an "Arsen on Stacyv move"! I was so taken by surprise, but I didn't even think of saying no. It got even more hot when we heard clanking up the staircase by a group of giggling young girls. We were just finished and barely finished dressing when the girls reached the observation deck (and us).
NBN - Speaking of Wentz Camp, I guess you're right! There are many interesting & pretty places in PC. I drive by them daily and just forget to look. That tower was built in 1928. You enter at ground level and climb 75' straight up an old metal spiral staircase (well, not straight, you climb around and around and around and around.....) in a just 7' wide round tower . For those out of shape, it's a stairmaster from hell!! But still very well worth it for the view - you can see for literally miles - the entire Ponca Lake, and a whole lot of beautiful landscape far beyond Wentz Camp. When I get some spare time I will get out there and talke pics. I started to menton a little about that so-cool place here, but there is SO much cool stuff there, that'll take a whole new thread!
annoying shower head
Not ALL shower heads are annoying Sun Sparkz. Maybe you would benefit from going shower head shopping! And you do know they're not just a single-purpose "shower tool"...right? I'll look around next time I go shopping and see anything that looks worth recommending. For now....I'm certain some ladies here are currently using a (multi-purpose) shower head worth mentioning...??
I'll look around next time I go shopping and see anything that looks worth recommending.
You mean like the ones with enough hose so one can sit on the floor of the shower with the head between one's feet aimed........whilst.......:thumb:
*cough* what about BJ techniques? Hello???
#1 Squeeky clean. Not Optional. --no perfume please, it makes me sneeze.
#2 Trimmed/shaved testicles. Not Optional anymore, and HIGHLY recommended.
I'd been trimming for him for quite awhile before I could convince him to give me the same courtesy. Once my hubby finally agreed to it, not only did he get a lot more testicle/tounge action (which he really likes), but he said it actually was 10X better because he had a lot more sensation. He recommends women's extra moisturizing shave gel, and a fresh razor if you were wondering ;)
The Panasonic wet/dry shaver is excellent for this particular task.
but it's not so much of a turn on if you leave 6 months worth of pubic hair growth in a ball on the top of the bathroom wastebasket. Ask me, I know...
At least try to bury it under some toilet paper or something...
1.) Yes, trimmed pubic hair is an absolute must before I'll go divin'. My husband was very reluctant too, LabRat, but once he did he came to the same conclusion, that it was vastly superior (though he doesn't shave, just trims it pretty short.)
2.) I have been told by my husband--who is biased, no doubt--that I am exceptionally skilled in this area. I always thought I was just using basic technique, but he claims that before he met me, he honestly didn't understand what the big deal was about; i.e. why men were all gaga over blowjobs. Now it's extremely rare that he doesn't request at least a little oral action to begin with every time.
3.) Showers for intercourse are terrible, for all the reasons SunSparkz mentioned. And those "massaging" showerheads... I personally always found them painful, even on low settings.
. And those "massaging" showerheads... I personally always found them painful, even on low settings.
You need to build up your sex callous. ;)
1.) Yes, trimmed pubic hair is an absolute must before I'll go divin'. My husband was very reluctant too, LabRat, but once he did he came to the same conclusion, that it was vastly superior (though he doesn't shave, just trims it pretty short.)
that and it lets the ol' figs breath a little bit easier when out in this hot-assed texas sun! ;) :D
all this talk about the guys trimming up. what about you girls? i used to date this girl that refused to shave. and she wondered why i wouldn't go down on her. personally, a nice neat "hitler" is always a great turn on but i love a freshly shaved area for satisfying my woman and my hunger for the act!
i think a hitler or anything of sorts went out of fashion like 5 years ago!
Charlotte from Sex and the city may have had something to do with this!
for girls, apart from your head, no hair is good hair!
although i do enjoy a clean shaven mate... sometimes having just a little something there is nice too. no jungle bush, but just a little moustache.
i think a hitler or anything of sorts went out of fashion like 5 years ago!
Maybe Down Under...last I heard, the landing strip was still pretty popular here.
really! i dont know anyone of my friends who would have one now.. i couldnt do it.. after nothing, a little just looks too weird.
I dont think guys should be without a bit of hair though.. that would freak me out! trimmed ok, tidied up thanks, but all shaved... *cringe*
When I had a catheter procedure done in January, they had to give me a landing strip...that was interesting.
really! Why? isnt a catheter just a tube attached to the end of Russell to catch the pee pee?
There are different kinds of catheters ... syc is talking about having had a cardiac catherization, which is a tube inserted in his groin that gets fed up to his heart to take pics.
urgh. oh yuck and OUCH. i wasnt aware.. sorry syc.. i'm sure it was quite interesting! did you even it out on the other side when you got home?
I had one of those once for a back x-ray and they inject barium? down the catheter that’s inserted though the vein in one’s thigh. When I asked what the leather straps were for they said, "So you don't move when we take the image" Lying bustards.
did you even it out on the other side when you got home?
They shaved both sides. I assume it's because veins in the leg are like veins in your arm...one leg might be more accessible than the other.
like a landing strip but shorter.
NEW RULE:
FOR ALL SEXUAL THREADS, THE MENTION OF A URETHRAL CATHETER IS PUNISHABLE BY INSTANT PAINFUL DEATH.
Oh good. So Gerbils are still OK then?
Found a new children's book "Pop goes the Hamster and other microwave games"
Two Gerbils in a bar one says to the other " Ya, fancy getting shit-faced tonite?"
... personally, a nice neat "hitler" is always a great turn on...
I've never done any "Hitlers", but I've had my share of "Castros".
I've never done any "Hitlers", but I've had my share of "Castros".
so you like to floss, eh? ewwwwwww :dead: :vomit:
New Found Favourite........
Small Bowl of really cold and icy ice cream..... Small bowl of slightly warmed up chocolate sauce...... a small, really SOFT bristled paint brush....... Mmmmmmmmmmmm
so you like to floss, eh?
Well, you can get all your teeth done at one time that way, you know.
New Found Favourite........
Small Bowl of really cold and icy ice cream..... Small bowl of slightly warmed up chocolate sauce...... a small, really SOFT bristled paint brush....... Mmmmmmmmmmmm
I LOVE your thinking!! :beer:
another thing that a girl i used to date was that she'd let it grow out and then shave "themes" in. be it a heart or an arrow, hell once she even did a smiley face!!
i dated ( for a few hours, anyway) a chick that was clean shaven and she had a wonderful tattoo just above her beautiful vertical smile.
Enjoy Your Meal - i wonder if she'll still like the tattoo when she is 65?
one time i was visiting an all nude, byob, establishment and i went up to give a dancer a tip and she was shaven with a tatoo of a cats eyes and whiskers.....clever, i thought, at least in my drunken state anyway.....
NEW RULE:
FOR ALL SEXUAL THREADS, THE MENTION OF A URETHRAL CATHETER IS PUNISHABLE BY INSTANT PAINFUL DEATH.
It was a cardiac catheter.
Nobody, except by misunderstanding, was referring to the
other kind.
However, if you are in need of a treatise on indwelling, texas, and straight, I could certainly oblige.
Apparently I upset (or possibly excited) the Texans . So, by way of explanation only, I present,
the Texas Catheter (NSFC_B)
My mistake, I read 'catheter' and then 'groin' and immediately splashed bleach into my eyes.
A very reasonable reaction.
FOR ALL SEXUAL THREADS, THE MENTION OF A URETHRAL CATHETER IS PUNISHABLE BY INSTANT PAINFUL DEATH.
How about punishment with a urethral catheter? Seems appropriate.
another thing that a girl i used to date was that she'd let it grow out and then shave "themes" in. be it a heart or an arrow, hell once she even did a smiley face!!
Heart I've seen, I can't imagine someone putting in the detail work for a smiley face.
I made an arrow on mine, once. It pointed down.
i'm having a hard time imagining that - could you post a picture?
My mistake, I read 'catheter' and then 'groin' and immediately splashed bleach into my eyes.
So...no one has ever heard of the deviant practice known as "sounding", then?
Good.
Morbid curiosity demands that I ask what this "sounding" is. I know I could Google it, but I'm afraid of what I may find.
It is difficult to answer this appropriately from work, what with the netnanny and all, but I'll consider it to be a vocabularial challenge.
Actually, it isn't that hard. Imagine being a male with a urinary catheter installed, and attempting intercourse.
Taadaa! Sounding!
I'm pretty sure this means I now get the topic death penalty, right?
Just give me your address and enough time for me to go buy a lead pipe.
they say there is a first time for everything. until now i didn't think that was true.
elspode just posted a comment that i didn't enjoy. actually, what is the opposite of enjoy? i think i will go rub my eyeballs with a rusty paperclip and poor a couple bottles of bleach in. thanks els.
What in the world is the derivation of the name "sounding," though? That doesn't make sense.
Heart I've seen, I can't imagine someone putting in the detail work for a smiley face.
it was a good try at it at least the eyes were easy but the "smiley" portion looked a little crooked....hey, she got an "A" for effort!
So, while searching for the definition for "sounding" I came across this link, which I think will help those of you suffering from bleach eyes. It isn't quite what I had expected to find, but then again, this article has nothing to do with what I was looking for:
Interesting article about names Okay,
found it . Probably NSFW.
I've always wanted to ask a girl to shave into the shape of a fig leaf and dye it green.
That pretty much covers it. I don't suppose any of you would be made any happier by my revelation that the book in which I discovered it actually had *pictures*...
It was quite a book. We were passing it around at a largish Pagan party, marveling at the creative and diverse perversions depicted therein. The acts were actually numbered and cross-referenced in a scholarly manner, and so for months thereafter, people would see each other and say something like "Number 78", and everyone would go "Ewwwwww....".
sound(4)
v. sound·ed, sound·ing, sounds
v. tr.
1. To measure the depth of (water), especially by means of a weighted line; fathom.
2. To try to learn the attitudes or opinions of: sounded out her feelings.
3. To probe (a body cavity) with a sound.
v. intr.
1. To measure depth.
2. To dive swiftly downward. Used of a whale or fish.
3. To look into a possibility; investigate.
n.
An instrument used to examine or explore body cavities, as for foreign bodies or other abnormalities, or to dilate strictures in them.
Apparently, for once, it is the appropriate medical terminology.
Unlike "felching".
Been there, done that. I'll spare you the details but intercourse is not part of a "sounding procedure". The procedure can be done on both males and females, albeit with different instruments due to physiological differences. The sounding kits are easily available and reusable if you sterilize them after use.
Sensation to a male is akin to that of a much-needed beer piss.
The voice of experience fades into the distance....
...the fuck is wrong with you?!
If Brian wanted to, he could probably blow everyone out of the water in this thread.
Be afraid...........be very afraid.............
I'm holding back only by supreme effort.
c-b, there's a list, got a lot of HD space?
Seriously, I was a wild child. I don't do that much anymore. Just once a year now and dropping.
and another thing or maybe the same thing. what a bout leaving the light on? "I'm so fat, I don't want you to see me.?!! you don't mind completely intimate sex, but I can't look at you? arrrgggh. That's furstrating. And we've been married for 15 years.
I'm in the same boat, dude. We can't make love when the kids are home. But, they're always home. Married 24 years, kids are 19 and 15. It wasn't great when sex became yearly. Now, I can't remember when and I don't see it coming anytime.
Sometimes I wish I was a bad boy and do some extra-martial activities. But, I just can't and never have. Reading Brianna's posts in this thread makes me want to fly to Ohio, track her down, and.....
Some of this reminds me of this movie:
This guy gets his wife to invite another woman into their bed. She likes it so much that he gets left out. It was hysterical.
I'm in the same boat, dude. We can't make love when the kids are home. But, they're always home. Married 24 years, kids are 19 and 15.
Most parents of teens 15 and up, say they're never home.
Can't you take your wife to a motel for a few hours? You ain't working at it, Man. ;)
Most parents don't have Aspergers Syndrome kids either. Our kids are homies with limited social skills. 19 yo son still doesn't have driver's license.
But, you're right, I'm not working it anymore. I've kind of given up. Her taking zoloft and ovaries shutting down doesn't help. I guess I'm waiting for the nest to empty.
Methinks Bruce just developed foot-in-mouth syndrome.
;)
I knew you assholes would turn this into something other than a SEX thread. gone for a few minutes and look what happens...tsk. Let's all encourage brian to share.
Ok, brian. Share.
(just sneezed and caught it with hands, natch, but in library and guy next to me must be grossing out as after sneezing, I keyboarded this!! hahahahahaha!)
(just sneezed and caught it with hands, natch, but in library and guy next to me must be grossing out as after sneezing, I keyboarded this!! hahahahahaha!)
Try the crook of your elbow...
I knew you assholes would turn this into something other than a SEX thread. gone for a few minutes and look what happens...tsk. Let's all encourage brian to share.
Ok, brian. Share.
Whoa... what has deviated from "sex" here? I'm finding all of this quite instructive. You're not twigged by RS's comments are you? I think it was a compliment.
Try the crook of your elbow...
Whoa... what has deviated from "sex" here? I'm finding all of this quite instructive. You're not twigged by RS's comments are you? I think it was a compliment.
With the description of the sneezing, it sounded like she wanted to sound more unattractive to me.
I don't blame you, Brianna, you've had your fill of married PhDs.
I have to post to this thread. Casey will probably kill me, because it's her thread, and i think the rule was not writing about other cellarites (but then again, I haven't been active enough to be actually considered such, so maybe i'll be off the hook...or better yet..punished.) :D All I will say is that she's sweet, fun, beautiful, and it's just like her to start a thread like this cause she's so cool in every way. :biggrin:
wow, Jim never sucks up to Jinx like that. in the cellar anyway.
So, I was talking about this thread to someone. Her response was, "sounding? you didn't know what that was, why didn't you just ask me?"
I explained that it was the wee hours of the morning when I saw it, and would have involved her if an answer hadn't presented itself.
Then we walked right across the border into TMI land.
She said, "I had it done for the first time on Friday Night."
She made a number of whoo-hoo type noises to indicate the extent to which she sees this as a "very good thing."
i've seen, heard, done some pretty out there things, but i'm not even able to visualize what the hell we are talking about here. and that is unusual, because i can spend hours visualizing... :headshake
Actually, I'm not going to squick you here. I'm too nice a guy for that.
But! You can go squick yourself and see sound sets, diagrams for use and info links
here. . Warning! Might not be safe for work! You have been warned. :mg:
Damn! Does no one just screw anymore? As like dog fashion, 69, in the car, in kitchen or where ever. I guess time has passed me by!
Try the crook of your elbow...
Whoa... what has deviated from "sex" here? I'm finding all of this quite instructive. You're not twigged by RS's comments are you? I think it was a compliment.
NO, no...not twigged by comment. Was distracted while reading cellar at library. Must really only view/post on Sex thread from comfort of own home and not when at mercy of homeless people, crazies out on pass, etc. Must learn to read more closely, too. Computer to be fixed thursday by very cute man who came to my house today. Very, Very cute. Are home-computer fix-it guys the new "tv repairman"? If I nail him, I'll let ya know!! ;)
--snip--
Then we walked right across the border into TMI land.
This is where I started laughing loud enough to draw attention to myself in the office...
She said, "I had it done for the first time on Friday Night."
This is is just piling on... :lol2:
NO, no...not twigged by comment. Was distracted while reading cellar at library.
Ahh. Good.
Computer to be fixed thursday by very cute man who came to my house today. Very, Very cute. Are home-computer fix-it guys the new "tv repairman"?
:eek:
If I nail him, I'll let ya know!!
This really happens? Not in my experience, and I've fixed a lot of stuff. Not me, not my friends (you excepted, of course), not any friends of friends, just the characters in a story. Some of which are more titillating than others.
But don't let my disbelief slow you down. Post away.
i've seen, heard, done some pretty out there things, but i'm not even able to visualize what the hell we are talking about here. and that is unusual, because i can spend hours visualizing... :headshake
I doubt you want to know, really. My limited imagination is...saturated.
But if you ask again, I (and I imagine several other dwellars) would verbally illustrate.
what you are forgetting bigV is that you are a guy. the likelihood of an attractive repair girl visiting you are pretty slim. the possibility of her willing to bump the headboard with you are next to nil.
whereas... Bri is a female. the repair dude is a male. if Bri wants to have him all she has to do is say something along the lines of, "wanna do it"? and faster than you can blink she'll have her fill of repairman.
But if you ask again, I (and I imagine several other dwellars) would verbally illustrate.
no, i've got the "what". i'm more confused about the "why". and the "how", i guess - as in how is this considered pleasurable?
...faster than you can blink she'll have her fill of repairman.
Bwah haha ha!
Did Brianna just say "natch"?
That is so hot!
Be sure to use that on the reapir guy.
Lookout is right, btw.
Well, about this anyway.
here.
oh good lord jesus christ! :worried:
If I nail him, I'll let ya know!! ;)
do it! do it! you need some strange girl! [SIZE=1]oh, and take some pics for the ol' sex thread![/SIZE] :D :blush:
ok in an effort to give this cathecrap a turn, what is one's fav position? doggie here with a twist of reverse cowgirl. try changing from that position to the other without losing a thrust! :D go on,.....it's fun!
ok in an effort to give this cathecrap a turn, --clip--
Thanks.
your absolutely welcome! (let's just hope it works!)
depends on the partner. squishy parts line up differently with different anatomies, you know. one of my favorites though is... too damn hard to explain. but here goes. female on back. male on side to females right. basic scissors position, can get to just about anything from there.
Let's see... that puts my right arm free on top (I'm right handed, so this is a good thing, more, dexterous, with my right hand). With the squishy bits aligned, that should give me a commanding view of the hills and vales. Yes, nice.
squishy's good. yes, must try. too bad g/f isn't here tonight. ok. report tomorrow....(or when i'm done with the experiment. yeah, this'll be fun :D)
One of my favorite tricks that the Hazleton Hotties (tm) seem to enjoy is to be on MY back and they are on top. Have them face the other way. Without getting up first. Each one has squealed (like a pig, natch) when they did this. Felt good to me too. :D
Brian
One of my favorite tricks that the Hazleton Hotties (tm) seem to enjoy is to be on MY back and they are on top. Have them face the other way. Without getting up first. Each one has squealed (like a pig, natch) when they did this. Felt good to me too. :D
Brian
Is this a crude variation of the Basket Fuck?
ah, sweet sweet brianna, how we've missed you.
You left out the "rodeo" position.
That's where he enters her from behind, reaches around to fondle her breasts and whispers:
"mmm, these feel almost as good as your sister's"
Then he tries told hold on for ten seconds.
You left out the "rodeo" position.
That's where he enters her from behind,
Grabes her "PONY TAIL "
and whispers:
"mmm, these feel almost as good as your little sister's"
Then he tries told hold on for ten seconds.
That SIR is the CORRECT Rodeo position !!!!!
one of my favorites though is... too damn hard to explain. but here goes. female on back. male on side to females right. basic scissors position, can get to just about anything from there.
AHH ,, Sunday morning !!!!!!!
amen zippyt hits all the 'right' spots.. look I've been staying out of this one.. but ya know .. a simple Kansas farmboy may or maynot have something to say.. afterall I did install eyehooks in the floor so my ex could be tied down to her liking... and I have recently shown (and no, i'm not tooting my own horn.. heh.. well maybe.. you'll never know!) a couple of women how to really get off..I don't sometimes believe that I live in such a sexual-phobic state.. then again.. it makes things interesting for me.. anyway, as we're on to positions? it's like basic missionary, but.. have her facing away, like 'doggy style' without the bent legs, actually ladies keep the legs close in trust me on this one. it hit's 2 of the 'g' spots and feels really good from the male side.
oh we're not going there are we? the dirty sanches/laughing dragon etc. please don't make me do that!
Well, I'm going to fix this cute gal's PC. The first time I met her she seemed to give me a look at the end like she was interested in more than just fixing the PC. Maybe I'm imagining this, but I've been thinking about her sweet smile ever since. I'll probably go over there and trip over my own feet and look like a real dork in front of her. If she nails me, I'll let you all know. :o
One of my coworkers fixes PCs and does housecalls. He is not getting any tail. Perhaps he's fixing the PCs wrong? Or rather right, so he's not doing a lot of repeat calls? I dunno.
Joking about being Brianna's PC guy aside, I had a weird experience with a neighbor. She stops by my house all dolled up and asks me for help with something in her garden. So, I say sure. We get over there, she starts talking about how her husband is out of town for a few days and some other stuff, and I'm saying Sorry I can't help you with this, see you around.
Apparently, shit happens.
[QUOTE]but.. have her facing away, like 'doggy style' without the bent legs, actually ladies keep the legs close in .....
Actually I find it better with a small hard pillow tucked under her hips. About 4inches high. But it probably all depends on geometry. The one I use comes from Isan a region of Thailand.
Computer to be fixed thursday by very cute man who came to my house today. Very, Very cute. Are home-computer fix-it guys the new "tv repairman"? If I nail him, I'll let ya know!! ;)
The young Pool Maintenance Guy is the current stereotypical affair hottie. Comes on a schedule. :muse:
Brianna, if this guy has a wedding ring, you might want to pass on this. Now that I think of it, I'm probably writing this too late. :smack:
oops.. this was meant to be deleted
rock steady.. please quit posting as Gwennie..please
Well--cute computer guy just left and I did NOT nail him because he indeed did have that magic band of gold 'round his left ring finger. I'm off married men right now. But, he was sooo cute...damn.
Back to the sex--the Sunday morning position/scissors position is a really good one. I call it the Relaxing Fuck. Minimal effort produces gratifying results! I highly recommend it.
Well--cute computer guy just left and I did NOT nail him because he indeed did have that magic band of gold 'round his left ring finger. I'm off married men right now. But, he was sooo cute...damn.
Very good, girlfriend. You're in a stronger place than last month. One day at a time.
rock steady.. please quit posting as Gwennie..please
You said that nicely. I'm sure you're almost ready to flame me as if I were the President of the Roger Waters Fan Club. I don't know why you have a problem with me. It's not like I've been flirting with you or anything. I didn't post any false stories about sexual experiences in this thread. I'm just Brianna's supportive and stable cyber-sister.
Here, take a toke and relax.
I think it's because you're posting as *both* ID's. It's kind of jarring for people who have been here for a while and may cause confusion with new people. It also seems kind of rude, but that's a personal opinion. :)
i happen to agree with Perth. figure out who you are and post as that person. you can support Brianna as a male or female.
Pick one, it's the right thing to do for many reasons.
I'll jump on the bandwagon too. I also think you should pick one. It's been bugging me that you use both.
Thanks for all the feedback. In another forum, they encourage both personalities. Everyone is different.
Gwennie! You are the Weakest Link! ZAP!!!
Now, y'all get back to talking about sex and I'll watch.
So, Bri said something awhile back about no matter what, she would never get together with another woman. Which got me thinking...
On a scale of 1-10, 1 being never ever ever attracted to someone of your own sex and 10 being never ever ever attracted to someone of the opposite sex, I am curious, where do YOU fall?
I'll start of course. I would be a 5-6. I find myself sexually attracted to both males and females, and have been intimate with both. Never in a long term relationship with a woman however. I love penii, my best orgasms have come from men. But [most] women are so smooth, gentle, soft... I might be crazy, but lately I swear the more I find myself checking out women on more then the men. [SIZE=1]Maybe this is because right now, my husband is medically obese and I just don't find him as attractive as I used to. So because my husband would rather find me in bed with another woman than man, so I feel safer mentally 'cheating' on him with a woman...[/SIZE]Yikes, that's a whole new thread.
Bottom line, I like to get it on with either/or. Where do you fall??
I didn't mean that as an attack or anything.. thanks.. and you can be the president of the roger waters fan club all you like, you are more than welcome to your opinion in any matter, I'm not here to flame anyone, just hear what you have to say and leave my little two cents worth.
well, LR - i can honestly say that i have absolutely no physical attraction to other male bodies. even when it is a healthy specimen i don't know why women go for guys. the female body (nearly all female bodies) have such beauty that i can spend days, if not longer, just admiring and enjoying the various curves, slopes, scents, and textures.
I didn't mean that as an attack or anything.. thanks.. and you can be the president of the roger waters fan club all you like, you are more than welcome to your opinion in any matter, I'm not here to flame anyone, just hear what you have to say and leave my little two cents worth.
I just wondered what was in that "deleted" thread. Seriously, you've been patient with me.
well, LR - i can honestly say that i have absolutely no physical attraction to other male bodies. even when it is a healthy specimen i don't know why women go for guys. the female body (nearly all female bodies) have such beauty that i can spend days, if not longer, just admiring and enjoying the various curves, slopes, scents, and textures.
I agree. If I were a woman, I'd be a lesbian for sure.
Interesting question, LR. I would rate my position on your scale at about 2. I am wholly heterosexual, and I *l:love:ve* my wife. She turns me on.
From a strictly physical perpective, I find the female form attactive. Everything you (and you and you and you) know is there, all the smoothness, softness, the curves, the sweetness. Yep. All good.
There is no sexual attraction for me for men, though. However, I didn't score a 1 because I do appreciate the male form too. I don't get the same response from male shapes as I do from female shapes, but it seems...incomplete to survey, to try to grok one form without regard for the other.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but they're a matched set. They go together. It would be like loving the white on the chessboard and loathing the black. How can I adore the female form and disregard the male form? You cannot completely love one without also loving the other to some extent.
I can (and do) admire pretty female forms and think kissing women is rather nice--I just can't see myself going down on one. I-just-can't!
Snapple bong? That shit is fucking horrible.
cowhead - amen to that position and only a 90degree roll from an early morning spoons.
I guess I'm about a 3. I have kissed many women (more than my husband, actually), but that's because I was in theatre and that's what we did at cast parties, not because I was ever attracted to them. I find the female form attractive, but the actual genitalia to be wholly revolting. They are gooey and smelly and gross.
Men, on the other hand, have broad shoulders, and perky non-pear-shaped asses, and biceps... :yum:
I can tell that Dr Dreamy of Grey's Anatomy Patrick Stewart is a sexy man. But, I'd go no further than shake his hand if we met. I guess I would have to rate a 2.
I find the female form attractive, but the actual genitalia to be wholly revolting. They are gooey and smelly and gross.
Men, on the other hand, have broad shoulders, and perky non-pear-shaped asses, and biceps... :yum:
I'm a one as far as the whole scale thing. I've been in confined, remote and secluded areas with men for extended periods of time and the longer I was there, the more repulsive they became. Hairier, smellier and generally more repulsive.
As for the female genitalia (and all this assumes reasonably recently washed), "gooey" is a wonderful thing that makes them fun to play with and lubricates her and you very nicely. "Smelly", I guess it must be a pheromone thing. The smell from my partner's naughty bits can have going from uninterested to wild in about 30 seconds.
...but the actual genitalia to be wholly revolting. They are gooey and smelly and gross.
That's just crazy talk.
... because I was in theatre and that's what we did at cast parties,...
Hey, I'm a
Thespian too. Haven't seen my card in years. Just did it in HS and early college, summer theatre too.
Hey, I'm a Thespian too. Haven't seen my card in years. Just did it in HS and early college, summer theatre too.
And you're not gay?
And you're not gay?
My girlfriend at the time was in the orchestra for all the musicals. Plus the actresses used to think nothing of running around in their undies. Things like that kept us hetro guys interested in the theatre. :) I did stage crew, mostly stage construction and sound.
I'm not gay, but I might be a lesbian trapped in a man's body. :muse:
And you're not gay?
Syc, he's married.
Just give up.
BWAAAAA hahahahahahaaaaahaaa*snort*hahahaa
ha
ha.
thanks BigV - that one really struck me as funny.
2.
Closer to a 1.5.
Probably actually a 1.
Syc, he's married.
Just give up.
No problem...more time to focus on you now.
thanks Jag and ... yeah... *sigh* early morning spoons.. the sad thing is that this is the second longest I've gone without a relationship since I've turned 21, no. not tooting any horns, it's just odd.. although I have gotten to catch up on my reading, guitarplaying and useless internet stuff :).
...but the actual genitalia to be wholly revolting. They are gooey and smelly and gross.
what?.. oh dear.. no no no.. female genitalia is yummy! then again maybe you got a bad version (they are out there! trust me!) then again that's one of those personal things, either you like it or you don't. (more for me mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!)
On a scale of 1-10, 1 being never ever ever attracted to someone of your own sex and 10 being never ever ever attracted to someone of the opposite sex, I am curious, where do YOU fall?
Bottom line, I like to get it on with either/or. Where do you fall??
I know I don't post often... but I just have to put my two cents in. :o
I would have to fall around a 4 or 5. The female body is just wonderful... not smelly or gross. But the best orgasams I have ever had have been with men. It is almost the female is foreplay and the man is the main attraction... :love: But I definitely think that the female form is the prettier one. Men usually don't have the grace and flow that the female shape has.
You left out the "rodeo" position.
That's where he enters her from behind,
Grabes her "PONY TAIL "
and whispers:
"mmm, these feel almost as good as your little sister's"
Then he tries told hold on for ten seconds.
That SIR is the CORRECT Rodeo position !!!!!
I stand corrected, Zippyt. What do us city slickers know anyhow?
hello, i'm new here can someone summarize? thanks :)
no, but you can read and do so yourself, for yourself. I hear it's quite a simple process.
simple schmimple. it's 16 pages. I'll bug off this one then.
simple schmimple. it's 16 pages. I'll bug off this one then.
If you change your profile to display 60 posts per page, then it's only 4 pages long. Much more digestable.
The Cliff Notes Version is that the men like females and the women like males. :D
Also, they like members to choose a gender and stay with it. :blush:
Wait, wait, I have a summary.
You put your left hand in, you pull your left hand out, you put your left hand in, and you shake it all about....
Oh, wait. That's the hokey pokey. What do you do to summarize for one who does the "I getta no pokey"?
Dude, we're not your tutors, we're not your interpreters, and we're surely not your entertainment staff. The cruise purser is not Gopher and Doc isn't the ship physician. This cruise you gotta plan yourself. (And really, 17 pages is NOT a lot of reading....)
[QUOTE]but.. have her facing away, like 'doggy style' without the bent legs, actually ladies keep the legs close in .....
kinda like 'reverse missionary' thought of it one day while we were doing the whole doggy style thing, and I was feeling too lazy to stand up.. (yeah not too lazy to participate in recreational procreation'.. of course) legs tucked together, from behind.. yowch! talk about rodeo sex! (without the sister thing) oh crap! there's a whole 'nother thread in there.. the dirty sanchez, laughing dragon.. dolphin girl etc. bad humour.. by the by did that post go away? I was getting ready to bust out with my amputee jokes!
okay, I don't mean this to sound arrogant or anything, but have any of you had a problem with bruising someones cervix? or having been bruised there? like I said sorry, just curious... then this kinda leads on to female ejaculation... gurk too many thoughts at once.. must drink beer!
Wait, wait, I have a summary.
You put your left hand in, you pull your left hand out, you put your left hand in, and you shake it all about....
Dag, it sounds like your telling snobs to go jerk off!!! bwahahahaha!!!!! :biglaugha
[QUOTE]okay, I don't mean this to sound arrogant or anything, but have any of you had a problem with bruising someones cervix? or having been bruised there?
I dated one guy who totally bruised my cervix and it really did hurt. He was some kind of sex mutant--we did it SEVEN times one night! Turns out he was a complete sex addict.
you say that like it's a bad thing ...
we did it SEVEN times one night!
bri, i thought that was a normal night of sex, until we had the child and i complained about what i considered to be "no sex". after a few discussions and some checking around, it turns out that 4-7 times 4 or 5 nights a week isn't normal. who knew?
wow, I found this a very interesting thread (which yes i read it all). I actually came accross this forum while looking up Magritte's painting (Lovers II), and being the angst teen i am, checked out the sex topic (bah, so kill me hehe) I do realise this is a forum for adults, and indeed I am not one yet (I'm 17) but if u really wanna get rid of me, just delete this post, and I'll get the message and be on my way.
but since this is the sex topic...I currently have a boyfriend who i've been with for 6 months, we've had sex many times, sometimes we like to go nice and slow, other times we just want a "Quick fuck". I guess reading this made me realise things doesn't really change as you get older, if anything it seems to get better ;) *sly grin*
I've had sex many a places, but something i've read no one has addressed yet is the idea of sex in public places, has anyone done it, and has anyone got walked in on or something similar?
I think seeing honest talk about sex is worthwhile for a young 'un, because you all get a ton of dishonest talk about sex. I prefer to think of the good aspects of it because they are a beautiful part of a fulfilling life.
Plus the easiest approach for parents is to just take the same approach as they do with drugs or other things with negative consequences: "its bad, don't do it, conversation over."
That is very sweet and inspired, UT. Now, let's answer the youngsters question!
I've done it in public places (most recent was at the Heinz museum, Pittsburgh) and 80% of the fun is the danger and the idea that you may get caught. However, there is a big difference between thinking you may get caught and actually getting caught. A doc I used to work with got busted getting a blow job from a nurse in one of the hospital stairwells. They both got into a lot of trouble, not to mention the complete embarrassment. Have fun, but be careful. A lot of fantasies should remain just that.
This is the NC17 version of this thread, albeit the more humorous aspects thereof.
http://bb4.voyeurweb.com/messages/358/188053.html?1119216117-back of an AWACs plane somewhere over southern Iraq.
-front seat of vehicle in roadside rest area, broad daylight (multiple events)
-park bench while watching sand volleyball
-bleachers while watching the diamondbacks
-in driveway of our own house (sometimes you just can't wait, you know)
-bathroom floor during someone's pool party
-on lounge chair beside swimming pool
-on pool table of bar i was working at
-over hood of car in parking lot
-model home bedroom - didn't know they had cameras at the time :blush:
-ladies room at TGI Fridays
-underpass of interstate
-beach - sand sucks
-couch at a strip club (girlfriend, not a random dancer)
-back room of a Radio Shack while her employees were busy with customers
-balcony of room from Caesar's Palace
-Ditto hotel in San Diego
-Ditto balcony of cabin from cruise ship
-levels 1,2,3 of parking garage in downtown phoenix
i think that is about it.
-too many moving vehicles to list (including getting caught by a flagger in a construction site)
-the elevator at work (x2)
-the stairwell at the parking garage at the airport (didn't see the camera until 1/2way through)
-on an open hillside overlooking Estes Park (busted by people who pulled over to look at mountain goats)
-trailhead of Green Ridge. She in the back seat, I standing outside the door. Busted by campers who drove up and I didn't notice for who knows how long (stoned at the time)
-the library
-the back room of a hotel bar in Polson MT. Not caught per se, but plenty of interesting looks when we came out to the front.
Mine are boring. And I almost always get caught. More strangers have seen my bare ass than people I know have :lol:
More strangers have seen my bare ass
strange, they say the same thing about George Michael.
lessee here... ummm
open field at a park in Havertown
glass elevator at hotel in Mexico City (busted SO many times)
elevator in parking garage in Phila (knew all about the camera and didn't care)
driving down the Sure-Kill (busted by a busload of hippies)
driving the PA Turnpike (tolltakers know me on sight now)
front porch (spying neighbor got an eyeful THAT time)
beach in Fla (sand DOES suck)
hotel indoor pool near DC (new rule: swimsuits are MANDATORY)
hood of cop car in parking lot (day after the pool episode, left evidence for cops to find)
That's all I remember about the public stuff. The rest I will deny.
Brian
I would say I'm about an 8 on the scale.
I've had more women than my husband has.
And that's all I'm gonna say about that.
oh dear.. public places?
-the desert counter at work (when I was 20, and yes we were closed)
-atop wells overlook
-the bathroom in the 'gren room at the bottleneck (local music venue)
-in a car.. once being 6'5 kinda makes that logistically difficult (and blow jobs don't count or going down on her.. well... maybe it does)
-the fire escape outside my window
-all of the schools I went to here in town, although not at the time I was attending them
-the back deck of the replay (another bar)
- three of the churches in town
-ontop of an airconditioner at the old bus stop
-on the train tracks
- a few parks
- on a boat at one of the lakes around here
-the beach (yes! bring a towel.. sand does suck)
-a few of the walkins in resturaunts I have worked in (and as with the dessert counter being verycareful NOT to contaminate the foodstuffs)
-geez.. there are more but I get the feeling you think I'm a whore...
UT and I had some fun on the drive home from Atlantic City the other weekend. Although 1 week after the experience the head gasket blew in my motor. Coincidence??? Hmmmmmmmmm....
BTW - I am looking forward to the smartass comments - so have at it :D
The truck has lots more headroom.
And a bed.
stick shift or automatic?
maybe you need a lube job?
that's why I now drive an '87 toyota 4-runner... head room..leg room..and the capacity for a little privacy.. now If I can just find some one I like enough to have sex with.. I don't want to do any more random sexcapades.. although...
nightclub/bar toilets, a fair few, most recent being oxygen in leister square
geneva airport
various parks and gardens, once again, not entirely sure
southbank, melbourne during the new years fireworks
commuter train
seated overnight train
middle of a vinyard
back room of a chocolate shop
lookout wins for the AWAC
... I don't want to do any more random sexcapades..
You keep saying that. Methinks thou dost protest too much. :cool:
Parking lot of major central KC park at night
Parked on street of neighborhood two blocks from girlfriend's parents' house
Countless drivein movies
(all the above in a 1972 Datsun 1200...thank God the seats reclined)
Countless times in the backseat of my 66 Biscayne. (Got busted by a bunch of guys on motorcycles when parked way off the road in a park once - one of them knew who I was and spread it all around school)
Sitting in a tree in the previously mentioned central KC park in broad daylight
Countless times driving down the highways and byways of the USA
On a picnic bench in a campground, once in broad daylight, several times at night.
In an open field of a wildlife reserve in Missouri
In a swimming pool surrounded by clueless people
Numerous times in locations I cannot recall wherever, "quick, bend over" was well received as foreplay.
You keep saying that. Methinks thou dost protest too much.
yeah.. I guess I'll get me to a nunnery..
mmm... beast with two backs..
You know what's sad?
I don't find any of this to be new information. Oh, this country. I've also realized that I seem to be quite a rarity because, though i have made a promise to my parents and myself not to have sex until i marry, I am also incredibly horny. This country is so freakin' weird.
You know what's sad?
I don't find any of this to be new information. Oh, this country. I've also realized that I seem to be quite a rarity because, though i have made a promise to my parents and myself not to have sex until i marry, I am also incredibly horny. This country is so freakin' weird.
From the little I know about you, Luna, I would like to suggest that you've made a good decision. Not a decision that will be easy to follow through with, but a good decision nonetheless.
Please accept this post as my support for you, friend.
*beams concentrated good will and perserverance in Luna's direction*
luna, can I only say that was a bad idea.. keep whatever convictions you like.. but uh.. please don't marry the first guy you have 'relations with' there have been too many of my friends that have made that mistake.. keep in mind that I have been an ought and ought whore. hey if you love the guy... thinkl about 30 years from now! think about it! love or sex...
xoxoxobruce?
Hey, that's the only way I can keep to my own moral code. You may have something different, and that's your decision. I have a close friend who says she will not even kiss until her wedding day, and that's her decision too. I am not calling anyone a whore, but this is the way I feel right now. Of course, I must keep in mind that my opinions may change over time, as I am quite young yet. Heck, when I was seven, I thought boys were gross. Thank you for the advice, nonetheless.
luna, can I only say that was a bad idea.. keep whatever convictions you like.. but uh.. please don't marry the first guy you have 'relations with' there have been too many of my friends that have made that mistake.. keep in mind that I have been an ought and ought whore. hey if you love the guy... thinkl about 30 years from now! think about it! love or sex...
xoxoxobruce?
Why in the world would you say this is a bad idea? Young people, inexperienced in many many things in the world get married all the time. Why would you suggest that a prerequisite for a happy marriage is sexual experience?
You have deftly turned her statement on its head and likewise inverted it's meaning. She DID NOT SAY that she would marry the first person she had 'relations with'. She DID SAY that she would not have sex until she was married. You may say that these two statements wind up being the same thing. But your remark implies that her plan is to marry the first person she has sex with, that marriage is a consequence of sex. Maybe that's what you're trying to say is a bad idea.
But I think Luna has something more consequential in mind, that despite her sexual tension, she has decided that her decison to marry someone will be based on criteria other than sex. A wise decision. As you know, and I know, sex can profoundly affect one's feelings and thoughts and actions, not always in reliable ways. I think Luna's decision to wait shows that she will not marry for sex, just the opposite of what you implied.
Sex is G-R-E-A-T but certainly not something to base a marriage on, you said so yourself. Marriage is vastly more important and enduring and complicated than sex, and that's saying a lot. Sex is a
part of marriage, not the other way around.
You know what's sad?
I don't find any of this to be new information. Oh, this country. I've also realized that I seem to be quite a rarity because, though i have made a promise to my parents and myself not to have sex until i marry, I am also incredibly horny. This country is so freakin' weird.
This is precisely why Western Civilization thrived. Channel that there energy into the protestant (or insert your own belief or lack of belief system) work ethic and you'll be a millionaire before you're 25.
In my opinion, sex before marriage can be healthy. Sorry if that ruffles feathers (and I am not advocating sexual experimentation at too young a maturity level) but I think the dillusional belief that sex is only "right" within marriage is naive. Why does there even have to be a "right" and "wrong" when it comes to sex? Sure, if your conviction is such, because of whatever ethics/morals you have, then have at it. The problem with that idea is what do you do when you are 10 years into a marriage and suddenly WANT to know what it is like to be with someone else? You are left to struggle internally over it with guilt as your overriding force. Especially if you are involved in an exclusive, monogomous marriage (which is quite likely if you have waited to have sex with your spouse.) Never fool yourself in thinking your spouse who has been your only sexual partner is the only person you will ever want sexually. I find it hard to believe that is probable. I think if one can get past their own insecurities about previous partners or current desires he/she can truly love the person they are married to, and not own them.
Of course, my experiences cause me to have my opinions on the matter, but based on those, that's really what I think.
HERE HERE !!!!! I aplaud your opinion Case !!!! Both partners SHOULD have sowed their wild oats ( as it were ) , then live togather for 6 months , see if you can put up with the farting and burping and smacking of lips , oh and go on an overnite canoe trip togather , if after 2 days of trying to work as a team , you and your prospective spouce have had fun , then well you can probley make it at least 16 years , my wife and i did ALL this and well we are still togather after 16 + years , and I don't see it ending ANY TIME soon !!! ;)
case is right.. and you as well zippyt.. long story that I won't bore you with. suffice to say 'amen' (if only I were religious!)
as to wolf... I'm sure we agree I'd rahter have sex than be a millionaire
Why in the world would you say this is a bad idea? Young people, inexperienced in many many things in the world get married all the time. Why would you suggest that a prerequisite for a happy marriage is sexual experience?
it's my own experience.. perhaps I spoke too soon.. i apologize, I'd be the first toasting them if that's what they choose to do.
You have deftly turned her statement on its head and likewise inverted it's meaning. She DID NOT SAY that she would marry the first person she had 'relations with'. She DID SAY that she would not have sex until she was married. You may say that these two statements wind up being the same thing. But your remark implies that her plan is to marry the first person she has sex with, that marriage is a consequence of sex. Maybe that's what you're trying to say is a bad idea.
once again from personal experience... knowing the difference between love and sex can CAN take a while, I just hope she knows it.. and yes.. I phrased it badly
But I think Luna has something more consequential in mind, that despite her sexual tension, she has decided that her decison to marry someone will be based on criteria other than sex. A wise decision. As you know, and I know, sex can profoundly affect one's feelings and thoughts and actions, not always in reliable ways. I think Luna's decision to wait shows that she will not marry for sex, just the opposite of what you implied.
for the third time, I aplogize. I ought not have thrown in my two cents worth at the time. no. she ought to marry for whatever reason she see's fit.. yes. sex itself has made me do some pretty stupid things... I am older and int heory 'wiser' (alhtough not that much all told)
Sex is G-R-E-A-T but certainly not something to base a marriage on, you said so yourself. Marriage is vastly more important and enduring and complicated than sex, and that's saying a lot. Sex is a part of marriage, not the other way around
you know I agree, I wish I had married the first person I had sex with. then again I'm glad I didn't.. I don't mean to disuade (sp?) her from doing that! some good friends of mine got married at 19/20 I wish I could be that certian. never have been neve expect to be.. but!.. suffice to say I apologize for spouting off at the mouth. I ought to have thought it out a bit more.. Luna, forgive me., (no, I'm not being sarcastic. I ought not have spoken)
she ought to get a little sump-in-sump-in (as it were) before the wedding day... the thing is that my grandmother and grandfather were done in an arranged marriage.. and tell ya what he was a bastard. I danced on his grave when he died.. he treated her like SHITso... there in lies my problem with marriage before 'shopping around' a bit.. okay shutting up now
In many couplings, sex doesn't begin at marriage, it ends.
Hey cowhead, could you please use either the italics or the quote tags when quoting someone? You sounded rather schizophrenic there. :) The little buttons at the top of the Quick Reply box will do it for you, easy cheesy.
In many couplings, sex doesn't begin at marriage, it ends.
Tru Dat!
In our case, it ended with the arrival of the second child. Guess she got everything she wanted out of sex and that's that.
This is precisely why Western Civilization thrived. Channel that there energy into the protestant (or insert your own belief or lack of belief system) work ethic and you'll be a millionaire before you're 25.
Good thought, but overpromises at the end. How about "successful throughout life".
I didn't finish my PhD until I was 28; the short term goal was not cash. Wasn't a millionaire until 45. It's a marathon, not a sprint.
as to wolf... I'm sure we agree I'd rahter have sex than be a millionaire
Sometimes you don't get a choice. I'll take what I can get. :)
hmmmmmm...rock steady is a MILLIONAIRE PhD. And married, to boot!
Methinks me in wuv! :love:
But, no.
I'm being unusually good.
Hey, I'm a millionaire. (in pesos.)
hmmmmmm...rock steady is a MILLIONAIRE PhD. And married, to boot!
Methinks me in wuv! :love:
But, no.
I'm being unusually good.
Hey, Bri, I have the hots for you too. But, I am always true to my marriage. Wasn't it easier when you knew me as Gwennie! ? :o
And be good, I'm rooting for you. :jig:
Wasn't it easier when you knew me as Gwennie! ? :o
And be good, I'm rooting for you. :jig:
No, not easier. I like you as either and equally so.
Thanks for rooting for me. I am being good/good/good. And except for the unusual amount of grilled cheese sandwiches and pasta salad I'm forking down, I'm being good to my body and it's thanking me. :)
I thought you weren't bi, Bri??? :(
*ashamed* I'm not. I'm working on it.
oh.. sorry, yeah I was just being lazy... in the future we will try to be less on the schizo side.
I thought you weren't bi, Bri??? :(
Bi? Gwennie (Rock Steady) is a guy.
Good to know that you're trying to expand your horizons, though, Bri. And also, way to go with the whole probation and sobriety thing. I'm sure it sucks, but it is much better than the alternative. Just go fuck yourself silly. That's still legal. For now.
thanks, els. You guys are being wonderfully supportive. I couldn't ask for better!
I think case was joking about the bi thing. I was wondering, though, how would it be to be with a guy who wanted to pretend to be the girl? How would that go?
And just for the record--I'd love a vodka riiiiiiiight...now
Must...not...do it...grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
I was wondering, though, how would it be to be with a guy who wanted to pretend to be the girl? How would that go?
We can try it sometime if you like. :) My fantasy is for us both to be girls but still have our own body parts. Now if you wanted to dress as a man and me as a girl, I'm not so sure about that one, but you could talk me into trying it.
Look back to staceyv's post on page one of this thread for something completely different. Now that's something I would stay away from.
"How would
that go?" depends on the guy and his exisiting fantasies. I'm sure there are many variations out there.
And just for the record--I'd love a vodka riiiiiiiight...now
Must...not...do it...grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
It's good to acknowledege those thoughts. They will come into your head. But, you can simply notice the thought, and let it pass because you know you can't act on it. For today, you will be sober. One day at a time.
You go, girl.
Ok--I'm up for most any role-playing game anyone wants to do!
*PS-stayed sober today. Baked cupcakes instead. I see an eating disorder right around the corner... :smack:
hey there rock.. I work with a local 'fetish troupe' uh ( help/do the food.. that's all I've seen enough goth breast to last me a lifetime) if you need/want something like that.. I'm sure it can be arranged.. just after the initial part leave me out of it. (and not saying that there is anything remotely wrong about it.. it's just not my thing.. I work there for money.. and yeah. getting to paste clam shells on womens breasts with a little ganocchi (until they sweat too much anyway) the next thing you know the chocolate falls off... yurk... odd thing with that is that I am there to do a job, they are all looking for potential partners, I'm no prude but... really if you want the website. gimmie a little time and all your fantasies can be real (hey! isn't that a line from bladerunner?/do androinds dream of electric sheep?)
okay napping now.. shutting up.. I ought never post on sundays
Ok--I'm up for most any role-playing game anyone wants to do!
*PS-stayed sober today. Baked cupcakes instead. I see an eating disorder right around the corner... :smack:
Please join us!!
Off the charts funny, high tolerance for puns required (non-waiveable), plus you
can have that vodka in the game.
...snip...getting to paste clam shells on womens breasts with a little ganocchi (until they sweat too much anyway) the next thing you know the chocolate falls off... snip (or should I say 's nip!)
Cowhead, Did they cover that at culinary school?
When I was in my twenties I worked as a baker for about four years. We never got gigs like that, but then that was in the early 80s and I don't think fetish groups were as organized then.
hey there rock.. I work with a local 'fetish troupe' uh ( help/do the food...getting to paste clam shells on womens breasts with a little ganocchi (until they sweat too much anyway) the next thing you know the chocolate falls off...
Now, how do you go about getting a gig like that? That would be PERFECT for me, as long as I could do it part time.
Cowhead, Did they cover that at culinary school?
When I was in my twenties I worked as a baker for about four years. We never got gigs like that, but then that was in the early 80s and I don't think fetish groups were as organized then.
Now, how do you go about getting a gig like that? That would be PERFECT for me, as long as I could do it part time.
---------------------------------cut and paste---------------------------
well.. uh no they didn't cover that in school..uh, I don't mean to pimp the group, but apparently they are the only ones around doing this..long complicated story that blah blah blah.. here's the link.. well it'll be here in a second Brianna if you want something like that you need to move here.. BigV,heh there have to be perks (puns intended) to food service...(the thing is that is most annoying working with these people is that they NEED a stage manager.. someone to make sure things happen on time, I'm sure there are more that enough 'back of the stage' theatre geeks here..
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=16818272&Mytoken=20050626225944
yeah I know, but that's the easiest way to get ahold of them, a friend of mine did the website (which I haven't seen... bad bad friend!) so... take the info and do what you want, it's an entertaining show.. it could just be better.. (coming from an 35 year old scorpio if that means anything..no not a control freak, but... it could to made to run more like a play I mean... HEY! mermaid girl with shells on her tits needs to be out there in FIVE minutes! they don't run it like a business which bugs me) okay it seems my drinking has caught up with me...so I'll shut up now and play my game.
fair enough... say Hello again sometime *wink wink*
Ok--I'm up for most any role-playing game anyone wants to do!
*PS-stayed sober today. Baked cupcakes instead. I see an eating disorder right around the corner... :smack:
Yeah, when I had cravings, I went straight for chocolate.
hey there rock.. I work with a local 'fetish troupe' uh ( help/do the food.. that's all I've seen enough goth breast to last me a lifetime) if you need/want something like that.. I'm sure it can be arranged.. just after the initial part leave me out of it. (and not saying that there is anything remotely wrong about it.. it's just not my thing.. I work there for money.. and yeah. getting to paste clam shells on womens breasts with a little ganocchi (until they sweat too much anyway) the next thing you know the chocolate falls off... yurk... odd thing with that is that I am there to do a job, they are all looking for potential partners, I'm no prude but... really if you want the website. gimmie a little time and all your fantasies can be real (hey! isn't that a line from bladerunner?/do androinds dream of electric sheep?)
Wow, that's pretty amazing. I ran across a show on HBO called "Real Sex". It showed some of these fetish troupes, people would get naked and wear only horse gear and stuff like that. I thought the members "worked" on each other. I didn't realize they hired people to help with the festivities.
Ran across this show twice. The other time they showed this bar/club with all women and some of them wore a strap-on penis, and they would screw other women with it.
Actually both times, I watched for a while, but got bored with it and flipped channels.
As for my fantasies, I'm just blowing hot air. I am not very bold in real life.
I saw the "I Want to be a Pony!" sex-show, too. I admired the group for having a hobby. One woman spent, like, 1,000 samoles on her leather pony outfit. That's dedication to the cause.
One man wanted a woman to treat him like an actual horse, keep him in the barn, a bit in his mouth (and other various articles of horsehood) and feed him hay,etc. He also wanted to be ridden like a horse (him on his hands and knees with the bit, etc.) and a lot of women actually did just that. They trotted him out thru the woods and after the ride they put him up in his stable! He LOVED it!
yeesh... I mean I have no problem with people and their 'quirks and kinks' but there are somethings that are just too far out there for me to wrap my head all the way around.
well, they don't usually hire in outside people, but I have known (and not in the biblical sense) two of the 'founders' for a long time.. and so when they need extra help from someone who won't spend all of his time oggling the naked women (not that I don't..but there's a weird switch in my brain that when I am at work I am AT WORK, and that is the primary objective) or being judgemental about things.. there are only a few things that I am really strongly against.
1.) sex with children, it's just wrong.
2.) sex with dead things... no no no!
3.) eating excriment.. just unsanitary.. i mean that shit can kill you!
4.) rape, I mean real rape.. then again even play rape is a bit much for me (not that I am opposed to kinda rough sex)
5.) sex with animals.. they don't want that!
there are many things I don't like... but those things make me angry. (well, you can eat all the pooh in the world that you want, but just don't ask me to be a part of it)
OK, so I looked at your list and nowhere does it say "no pretending to be a horse." I think it's kinda cool! Assuming the guy has knee pads on, nobody gets hurt! They're all consenting, even enthusiastic, adults! But, it doesn't turn ME on. I like a little rough now and then, a little tiny bite here and there is good. Is biting weird? I don't mean a world of biting, just a little one, on the inside of the leg, or neck. No bruising or anything, just a little chomp.
One of my ex's was a nibbler. She called it "itchy teeth". As long as she didn't get carried away it was nice. Kind of like finger nail sctratches, it was feed back letting you know you're on the right path.
I love biting, but hate being bitten. It's a total double-standard, I know, but my husband seems okay with it. :)
Methinks Bruce just developed foot-in-mouth syndrome.
;)
Not at all. He said
I'm in the same boat, dude. We can't make love when the kids are home. But, they're always home. Married 24 years, kids are 19 and 15. It wasn't great when sex became yearly. Now, I can't remember when and I don't see it coming anytime.
I said he wasn't trying hard enough.
He came back with extra restraints.
Most parents don't have Aspergers Syndrome kids either. Our kids are homies with limited social skills. 19 yo son still doesn't have driver's license.
I stand by my post.
Then he added;
But, you're right, I'm not working it anymore. I've kind of given up. Her taking zoloft and ovaries shutting down doesn't help. I guess I'm waiting for the nest to empty.
Which means she isn't interested. That's a long way from;
We can't make love when the kids are home.
No feet in my mouth......this time. :p
Do you ever think maybe your just approaching her wrongly?
i find this THE biggest problem in my experience. Even if you ARE in the mood, if the man approaches you the wrong way.. or does something you dont like... POP.. its all over and back to watching TV.
POP.. its all over and back to watching TV.
I thought that was the point !!!
haha!!
no, the "POP" is the mood evaporating into thin air.
How the hell can we train you men into not doing these annoying, mood eroding things?
haha!!
no, the "POP" is the mood evaporating into thin air.
How the hell can we train you men into not doing these annoying, mood eroding things?
Well because some of those things are im portatn, like breathing, or looking at the woman or giving up since the last 25 compliments in a row were met with outright negation.
I'm tired of it and I just give up. then on the rare times that I'm approached, I've been trained to not quarrel and just go with the flow. but it doesn't las.t
POP you mood. right what will it take to pop the mood of negativity? of presuming that I amd saiyng something negative? can't a compilment just be a compliment?
:bitching: :finger:
he he, you sound like someone i know...
i mean the whole ONLY complimenting 5 seconds prior to vulgar groping thing.
Can remember the movie but "They only tell you they love you just before they......."
Hey Sparks did you get to Bali yet?
But its true! Yes compliments can just be compliments.. but they can be random too.
Na LC, i fly out on July 31st. still nervous tho!
I love biting, but hate being bitten. It's a total double-standard, I know, but my husband seems okay with it.
What about scratching? Where do you draw the line? Red marks? Red marks that last a week? Blood?
Nope, I don't enjoy anything that leaves a mark on either person. I just like gentle gnawing.
Yeah, no marks, jag. His wife will become suspicious.
well anonymous you could always say "if you don't i'll find someone who will!" while in an arguement. i did. oh, that's right......she left me and divorced me. on second thought.....don't do that.
i like nibbling and scratching but only lightly. marks are not cool.
marks are okay...no serious pain though...like I guess no intentional blood. No marks in obvious places. It's difficult to present yourself as a professional with bitemarks on your neck in a seriously repressed society.
I don't know what it is about being bit on the inner thigh...such a tender place. Has to be kind of light, there, though.
see.. there's the thing.. I still have scars from my ex... the thing is that i didn't notice it was happening until the next morning when I woke up stuck to my sheets (with blood) I don't mind the biting and scratching so much, but since I have been getting tattoo work done on my back.. uh... no.... and I have to agree with Case, about the professionalism angle and the repressed society part.
although.. there's a weird part of my brain (well... in this case specifically) that takes that sort of thing as a compliment.. if that makes sense? someone losing that much control as to dig into your back/buttocks with wild abandon..
well anonymous you could always say "if you don't i'll find someone who will!" while in an arguement. i did. oh, that's right......she left me and divorced me. on second thought.....don't do that.
She probably had a head start on the remark/challenge. They usually do. :(
Yeah, no marks, jag. His wife will become suspicious.
It's funny how people keep thinking jaguar is female. Can't people keep genders straight around here? ;)
I don't see any confusion here at all. I read this as Jag as masculine. Brianna's advice to (male) Jag is to avoid having any marks left on him by a woman, lest his (Jag's) wife becomes suspicious....
don't see it another way...
Then why didn't she say "Your wife will become suspicious" ? It's something she had to consider when she was dating small-penis GeniusBoy.
I was saying that line for myself. Yeah, no marks...GeniusBoy doesn't want his wife to become suspicious. For some reason, I'm having trouble expressing myself. When I start typing my post I start to feel like I am at the DVD store and all the great ideas I had for movies I wanted to watch disappear into thin air and I leave with HEAVEN'S GATE or something equally stupid. D'OH! Spoiled for choice.
PS I really like the internal rhyme of "small-penis GeniusBoy"-- Imust work that into a really bad poem sometime... :)
this may be the wrong place for this... but it just struck me.. speaking of biting.. what happened to marichico? (marichiko)
Long story short: the woman had some serious issues to deal with.
I just noticed that she started posting again yesterday...hopefully, things are better with her now.
this may be the wrong place for this... but it just struck me.. speaking of biting.. what happened to marichico? (marichiko)
I've no idea on earth how your brain works, cow.
It's difficult to present yourself as a professional with bitemarks on your neck in a seriously repressed society.
Sort of depends on what your profession is, doesn't it? I mean, in at least one profession I can think of, it might be a sign of terrific job performance...
Well, that is true. I hadn't really thought of it that way.
Does anyone? :lol:
How anyone's brains work, or just Cowhead's? :)
just cowhead's. most other's aren't too difficult. :D
yeah.. well.. if anyone besides me can figure my brain out (and that's just because I'm stuck with it inside my head!) I'll...I'll do something really nice! yeah I noticed she started posting again..just wondered what had happened to her, I knew she was dealing with some pretty heavy stuff...
but! aside from that! Elspode has a very good point there. (as well as the Kc subways)
KC has subways? Shit...St. Louis only has a partial one.
KC has subways? Shit...St. Louis only has a partial one.
What, the trains run in ditches instead of tunnels?
i'm more disturbed by the concept of having a wife than anything else in this thread. Including the cathers.
actually we just herd cows together and tie buggys' to them, sure it's a little simplistic... but then again.. we are out in the styx..
actually that's been one of the big bones of contention, that given the enormous sprawl of kansas city that there really is no effective public transit.. other than the bus system (which is not particularly effective) same here in Lawrence, the emp'T'y bus system.. which someone did the math on. it would be more cost effective to actually buy a car for everyone who regularly rides the buses than to keep the system in place. (although having seen the people who ride the busses..(one of my favorite coffee shops happens to be right across the street from the 'terminal' ie. an awning with some benches) I wouldn't want these people behind the wheel...) and don't get me started on the lightrail system they've been on about for the past 20 years.. we used to have a train system nicely in place.. but 'they' tore it down. hell! Lawrence used to have cablecars! grrrr... I need more coffee!
so! anyway! back to sex!
this may be the wrong place for this... but it just struck me.. speaking of biting.. what happened to marichico? (marichiko)
I just now glanced at this thread. Er, yeah, why ask that question here? Oh, never mind, I don't want to know!
I just noticed that she started posting again yesterday...hopefully, things are better with her now.
Hey, Sycamore, you're a very cool dude, know that?
Anyhow...
I just needed to give this place a rest for a while, and I DID have some VERY nasty stuff come down in my life which took up all my time to deal with until here lately.
I still had the Cellar in my bookmarks and the other day I accidently clicked on it when trying to get to another site, and to my surprise, a private message notification popped up. I clicked on it out of curiosity and it was from another member asking me to return, so I looked around and realized that I actually kind of missed you guys, so here I am.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled foreplay. :D
Scheduling foreplay is the ultimate manifestation of anal-retentive tendencies.
Scheduling foreplay is the ultimate manifestation of anal-retentive tendencies.
I knew something was bumming me out!
i'm more disturbed by the concept of having a wife than anything else in this thread.
That's just 'cause you haven't met her yet. It's not "a" wife, it's
your wife, and when you do meet her, you'll finally understand what all us twits were on about all these years. :)
That's just 'cause you haven't met her yet. It's not "a" wife, it's your wife, and when you do meet her, you'll finally understand what all us twits were on about all these years.
HEAR HEAR !!!! Life can be GOOOOD with some one to live it with !!!!!!!
This last weekend we went to the lake with friends , in the mornings i would emerge from the tent , dive in the lake , take care of business , and swim a few laps , then my wife would be wadeing out to me with a cup of coffie , we would float and chat as we sipped coffie . AHHHH the simple things !!!!!!!
( not to forget about the fun in the tent later :grin: )
I would love anyone who would wade out to me with a cuppa. I would give them a BJ if they remembered the cream.
Love is relative. I do not love my relatives. But I would love someone who understood, and catered, to my need for AM coffee. :coffee: + :donut: = :love:
easy cheesy!
Speaking of spouses...Dakota and I just got married last night. :D
Congrats to both of you! :)
Speaking of spouses...Dakota and I just got married last night. :D
WOW! CONGRATULATIONS! :band:
you just got married last night.. hmmph like it just happened just like that!
Congrats!! What did you do fo a ceremony? do you have pics? tell us more!!
and once again Case good luck to you and Dakota. talk to you soon. and congrats again. so.. what are you doing for a honeymoon *wink wink*?
uh amen Brianna.. well sans the Bj. but the female equivilent.. as in giving.. urk... bedways is rightways.. the thing that annoys me.. Is that I pay attention to things like that in a partner.. not that I expect that in someone else.. if someone pays attention to me like that (like knowing I like my coffee cup 1/2 full.. so it doesn't get cold!) then.. wow... heh. I do that for people.. rarely anymore.. but... I do...if someone ever figures out my basic quirks I swear I'll marry them. and wow.. that's such a complicated issue.. what ever happened to the 'annoying habits' thread?
Hey, Sycamore, you're a very cool dude, know that?
Thanks, hon. :)
Thanks for the congrats! We are pretty broke right now, so the ceremony was very simple and nice. only our parents, my brother and my best friend showed up, plus our kids were there, but other than that it was very small. We had it at night with only candle light and basically just told each other what we felt about each other and we were married. His dad officiated. My flowers were those which I picked in the yard. My dress was one my mom purchased for me. I think the total cost of this wedding was about 150.00, including the dress, dinner for all of us and the cost of the marriage license. But, you know, I feel really good about it. I will post pictures as soon as I have them...
Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled sex thread!
I love hearing about people who did it THEIR way. What matters is the commitment, not the show. Congrats!! On topic: sex any different now that it's 'official' :)? I grew up going to church and getting bombarded with "sex before marriage was naughty, and getting pregnant was horrible messages". After I got married, I felt a little free-er or something, it's hard to explain. It did take me awhile though to feel completely relaxed...I think that though was because I was always taught (again, in church I think) that those who died before you were watching over you. I really didn't need my dad (and everyone else...) watching me have sex. Every once in awhile I still get the heebie-jeebies over that one. I will NEVER tell my daughter that.
good.. the whole church+sex thing has always creeped me out, which is why I am glad I was raised without religion (although some seeped in) it just seems that therein lies most of the problem. If you make people feel guilty about something that is so completely natural you end up with rapists and psychokillers as well as a great deal of people with some seriously unhealthy mindsets. (one of my ex girlfriends did the whole phonesex thing (not my thing, but I guess it's alright for other people) and some of the calls I listened in on as well as some of the things she told me about were very very.. I dunno words can't express (or I can't express rather) just how fucked up some people can become due to (in my opinion) sexual repression.. not that I really advocate free dope and fucking in the streets... but... ya know being animals and all.. a good deal of society is based on a societal construct that is 'unnatural').. okay enough with the paranthetical quotation... I'm rambling anyway.. yeah brain mechanincs
I used to have a neibor that was babtist preacher , he and his wife split up , i found out later this freak would be up at the pulpit giveing a sermen with his pants and under wear around his knees and he was ,, well ,,,, lets just say he was "takeing hermin to the circus"
Second Cumming of Christ?
(I could say it because I'm pagan and don't believe in Hell.)
Cowhead, you're dead right. The more repressed the person is the freakier he/she is about sex. Oh, and, um, most men are secret freaks no matter what. No offense. :)
heh, Brianna.. most people regardless of gender are 'freaks' given the opportunity.. atleast that's what I've come to find out.. or atleast people I've encountered (for lack of a better word) the thing is that if you allow/encourage someone to let go of the whole inhibition (sp?) thing.. (apparently I'm good at that...) sex gets a little weird... damn there's more I wanted to say but I have to head to work... back later
and as such.. no offense taken
NEW QUESTION: Does anyone else here think they may never have sex again??? It's been a long, loveless spell here in briannaLand. Sometimes I think the last time I had sex was the last time forever. It's a drag. I'm seriously annoyed. *sigh* oh, to be 19 and so carefree again..!
(wistful, wistful...)
It hasn't been THAT long, Brianna, didn't you break up with that married guy just a couple of months ago?
Think about it this way: you know how food tastes so much better to you now? A future relationship will be so much better because of the changes in your life too. Each day that passes puts you in a better position to receive it when the opportunity arises.
puts you in a better position to receive it when the opportunity arises.
you said "arises". :doit: huhhuh huh uh huhhuh
It hasn't been THAT long, Brianna, didn't you break up with that married guy just a couple of months ago?
Yes, true, true. Maybe it just seems that long.
I thought that for a while after my divorce. Thankfully I met a girl kind enough to let me sleep with her. :D
i thought thte same thing for a while after my divorce. then when i did start dating i realized how much better the sex was with someone who wasn't trying to make me feel low all the time.
heh. i let the g/f finally go last week (long story of her drunken abuses towards me) and have already scored! er, actually, she picked ME up!! yep. older women know what they want.
Brianna - Yes, true, true. Maybe it just seems that long.
If you're not ready for a relationship, look around for a fuckbuddy. (Granted, I WAS barely over 19 when I had that type of "relationship" but it worked and worked verrry well!)
I think I let go of the weird repressed sexuality/"god is going to send me to hell with the voice of my dad" syndrome a long time ago. Though the beliefs my family had while I was growing up included the idea that sex before marriage was bad and I had to "cover my eyes" for the sex scenes in movies, my mom was kind of open and sort of realized when I was in high school that she wasn't going to be able to stop me if I wanted to do it. Her forbidding me to even think about it would have bred even more angst and hostility within my family...we had more than enough at that age.
Dakota and I have been living together for a while now, so the actual mechanics of the relationship haven't changed much at all. Now, it's just that others recognize our relationship differently and we had that chance to make the vows to each other and make it "official". I am happy to be married to him...don't get me wrong. We might never have had the ceremony at all if it weren't for our kids and families...well, we would have had the ceremony but it might not have been accompanied by a piece of paper and a shorter last name for me. Those things weren't terribly important to us. We knew what we felt and feel and we wouldn't need those things. It has been good for the kids, though...helps them to adjust and make sense of things.
I better not never have sex again! (double negative was intentional)
so Case do you have pics of your ceremony yet?
I love wedding photos and stories.. I probably have a formal ceremony personally cuz i want to invent my own "thing" for binding with my partner but its always interesting hearing about what others have done to make themselves "officially" unite.
i dont think that marriage is what kills sex, i think if you have survived living together for a long time, marraige wont chage anything. If sex is going to fail, i reckon it'll fail in the first year of living together. IMO.
Don't forget in your seventh year of living together, when you both get fat. It can definitely fail then too. :)
Todays news said 8 years is average now. :(
average for what? divorce? getting fat? end of sex? ???
Believe me, I got over my subconsious (sp) worries. I told my husband about it, we had a good laugh, and moved on. Now we joke about it sometimes, like when we try something new/off the wall. "What do you think your dad would have thought of that??" Plus, I told myself, he can only 'see' me when I think about him and I want him to, like during a race, or when I'm playing with my daughter. I know, I'm wacko, but at least I know it :)
.... I am ... good at aural sex.
Really small penises... Or really big ears? I'm not sure I want to know.
Really small penises... Or really big ears? I'm not sure I want to know.
:lol: good one!
when i was with my ex for five years before we got married then we were together for another four. looking back at pictures from then, i can see the extra 10 or 15 pounds i would carry. sex, forget it. that fizzled after the first year of marriage.
it's been a while here in cowheadtown.. however, it's mostly because I don't want to get emotionally involved with anyone.. and yeah, there is of course sex without emotion, but... I haven't been a fan of that in a while... and Bri.. you will have sex again, I assure you.
Hey Bri, good question. Sorry to hijack it (temporarily perhaps), but I found
this interesting. I don't live inside a woman's head, so I have no way to confirm this firsthand, but it sounds about right. Ladies?
If I love what he's doing I don't think of anything--I'm all about the sensation. If I hate what he's doing I count how many times he does it/makes me do it. Like, if he's doing it in a very uncomfortable position I count how many strokes it takes before he moves. If I have to be in the "squat on top" position I count how many times I can torture my upper thighs before I have to stop. It's like counting for exercise! It's good for your legs, though.
That link was hilarious! Thanks for posting it, BigV.
Bad sex only becomes bad when I start analyzing EVERYTHING and can't keep my attention span. I think I have adult sex ADD sometimes. It's frustrating!
so basically your saying that if it's bad sex then you can't keep your focus. or are you saying that good sex turns bad when you start watching sportscenter or lifetime? ;)
well, if Lifetime or Sports center or whatever isn't available, my brain will find all kinds of other distractions. I am not sure which causes which...bad sex causes distractions, or distractions cause bad sex?
Someone asked for wedding pictures. Here's one. Sorry the quality isn't so great. What can one do with a 200.00 wedding budget, eh?
lovely picture, lovely family. I like how the boys are looking at one photographer and the girls are looking at a different photographer.
Best Wishes!
Thanks, BigV. The boy in the front is mine. He "turned back into Clark Kent" for the wedding. Afterwards, of course, he was Superman. The girl is Dakota's. There is another boy behind Dakota's daughter who is also Dakota's. He is usually distracted, so his placement in this picture is not surprising. Hehe.
Congats, case!! Beautiful family!!
Well, I think it looks like you did GREAT with your budget! The pic looks very classy, not low budget at all! Beautiful family!
Brett and I went to Miami, Oklahoma to "Lavern's Wedding Chapel" on a February, Friday the 13th and had a short simple ceremony, but the chapel was lovely. (They have a website). You get a blood test in one building, walk next door and get the license and walk across the street to the chapel for the ceremony - all in less than an hour. For us, it was perfect. After all, the honeymoon and life afterwards IS the most important part anyway...right!?
Again, Congratulations!!
Hey, congrats to you and Dakota, Case! You all look *great*!
Why doncha tell somebody yer gonna do this sort of thing sometime? :)
Pardon me, but what's "bad sex"??
Hey! you have a 'butt chin' just like me!! ha ha !
Neat family, whole bunch of blondies! I like the wildflowers.
Pardon me, but what's "bad sex"??
That would be, when 3 days later one has to visit the clinic which only has a side door !!
we had a corps-man on board the ship that was designated for this job , his nick name was ,,,,,,,,,, wait for it ,,,,,,,
RAMBORE!!!!!!!
Yes I am a Trobisin warrior !!!!!!!!
What's a Trobisin warrior?
And while we're at it, what does NBN mean by NSFDU?
I'm too out of it.
Trobisin is used because most of the moma-sans ( ladys who run the houses of ILL- Ripute ), give their girls a weak dose of penisillin a week to clear up any social desieses just in case , if they need it or not , This weak antibotic dose causes a tolarance to penicillin ( Penicillin will burn out MOST sicial desises , gonarea , early syphlis , clamidia , non spyracitical urethraritus , etc,,,,, ) Trobisin was what they gave you ( that side of the date line ) to clear this up , it aint emediet but it will work .
After you cross the date line there is a call to sick bay for Any and ALL folks that have visited the corps-men for these problems , you get handed 2( count them 2 ) frosen ( Streight from the freeser , COLD AS A MOTHER FUCKER !!!!!) Silver bullets ( BIG ASS shots of penicillen, bigger than a bic lighter ) you waddel away with 2 swolen butt cheeks FULL of the good stuff , HELL it cleared up my complection , cured my cold , and made me feel like a million bucks after the 2 golfball sized lumps in my ass cheeks went down !!!!!
Well I gather (onelook.com) Troicin is a broad-spectrum antibiotic obtained from a species of gram-negative bacteria or produced synthetically, used especially in the treatment of gonorrhea that is resistant to penicillin.
Phew...
As the actress said to the bishop that's quite a mouthfull.
And while we're at it, what does NBN mean by NSFDU?
I'm too out of it.
Not safe for dial up. Took me awhile to find that. :biggrin:
Thanks Zippy for the colorful and almost TMI response, lcanal for the humorous oneliner which is going staright into my repertoire (sp?) and Busterb
Took me awhile to find that
haha, like 45 minutes? Me too!
Sad 'cause I'm a fan of NBN, in the same way I slow down to look at accidents, so now when I see a post of his I assume it's one of those my refridgerator things.
Thanks Zippy for the colorful and almost TMI response, lcanal for the humorous oneliner which is going staright into my repertoire (sp?) and Busterb haha, like 45 minutes? Me too!
Sad 'cause I'm a fan of NBN, in the same way I slow down to look at accidents, so now when I see a post of his I assume it's one of those my refridgerator things.
I was sitting there one night while he was making a post and he had put that so i asked him at the time and was enlightened thattaway.
[\thread hijack]
What the hell happened to the sex thread? You guys KILLED it! :mad:
What the hell happened to the sex thread? You guys KILLED it! :mad:
You know us guys, Bri. We read the sex thread, rolled over and fell asleep. :blush:
well--I'm having sex tomorrow morning! I'll report in! :)
is the co-canoodler aware of the impending earthquake or is it a surprise?
It was GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! :)
It was GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! :)
crap. well i guess since you got some to end your dry spell, mine will begin :(
:D yeah for you!! I am a bit interested in the pemonition tho... :question: :question:
she was going though a long dry spell all the while it was every day or every other day for me. since i'm sans g/f now.........
how'd you get so "sans g/f" so soon? Did you show her your dungeon? big mistake on second or third date.
lmao! no, she is a sweetheart when she's sober. unfortunately, thats only when she's at work. i had the last straw last weekend when she was drunk and i was going to drive her car to her apt. and then give her a ride to where ever her friends were that she was meeting. she called me about every name in the book. there's alot more to it as well. basically if we weren't having off the wall insatiable sex, we were fighting. i'd finally had enough.
are you sure that wasn't me?
pilot, how much "off the wall insatiable sex" is "enough" anyway?
are you sure that wasn't me?
i'm pretty sure..... :p
pilot, how much "off the wall insatiable sex" is "enough" anyway?
nonono, don't get me wrong! that was the GOOD part!! :doit:
i'm tired of the wine and tequila shot mean attitude she got (on that particular night, usually it's just wine). i'd have to watch everything i said or else it was argue "go" time whenever she drank.
edit: now i need a smoke from thinking about the other :D
sorry, the 'yeah" was for Bri...
pilot, how much "off the wall insatiable sex" is "enough" anyway?
BigV, it's like pizza or beer: One's too many and twelve's not enough.
(Sigh) I don't trust "off the wall insatiable sex" anymore. The last man I did that with turned out to be an ax murderer. It sort of puts a girl off her game, you know?
I did get an offer of "off the wall insatiable" internet sex the other day. I'm considering it. At least if I found out that he owns an ax, I could just block his e-males. :blush:
amen sister... other than the female part...well.. I know what I mean anyway...
Question:
Is it still eligble for the sex thread if you're doin' it alone? And by it, I mean, well,
this.(Sigh).....The last man I did that with turned out to be an ax murderer. It sort of puts a girl off her game, you know?.....
i've just gotta ask, wtf? how did you...where the.....what? an axe murderer? :mg:
i've just gotta ask, wtf? how did you...where the.....what? an axe murderer? :mg:
Very long story, but he turned out to be one of those charming psychopaths that you read about. Unfortunately for me, I got to meet one. The man is incredible! Lies smoothly and fluently without turning a hair or missing a beat. I didn't like the way his lies were adding up though, so I did some checking. Turns out he was charged as an accessory in the murder/suicide of his brother and his brother's ex GF.
Part of the story is posted in the
"Hypothetical but for Reals" thread. :worried:
holy freakin' sh*t!
You took the words right out of my keyboard. The dude is slick, man. I feel very disconcerted that I could have been so taken in by someone like that, but I guess that's why they're called psychopaths. The name of the game is fooling everyone around them with their act of normal. Still, its put me off dating for a while until I regroup my forces. I don't need anymore Mr. Goodbars, thank you. He was fantastic in bed, though. He had enough experience, so he should have been.
well alright then, i'll share my dryspell with you :cool:
i think i'm done for a little bit. my ex g/f was nuts so i could stand to take a break...
NSFW !!!!! Like this thread could EVER BE SAFE FOR WORK !!!!!!
A chicklet getting a COMPLETE Brizilian wax !!!!!!!
ALL I can say is OUCH !!!!!!!
http://leenks.com/media359.htmI expected more shrieking.
There's another waxing video (that I'm pretty sure someone posted here) that involves a lot more screaming and writing.
Perhaps the young lady has a callous? I have my legs waxed and let me tell ya--it hurts. Especially around the ankle area where there isn't any fat between the skin and bone. yeeee-owch!!
I shall delicately refrain from commenting here.
Perhaps the young lady has a callous? I have my legs waxed and let me tell ya--it hurts. Especially around the ankle area where there isn't any fat between the skin and bone. yeeee-owch!!
Tough place for a tattoo also. :thepain2:
yeah..one of the worst... topped only by the spine... trust me on that one... ouch...
ok, i got this idea from the consent thread. ladies, how did you learn how to give head? did you just grab it and go and went by what your man suggested and used cumulative experience or is it a natural thing? or both?
Thank God someone resurrected this thread! And an interesting question, plthijinx, very nice. For me it was a combination of both; and it definitely did take some practice. A had a boyfriend who was very willing to let me practice on him. The thing that takes the most time and effort is learning how to relax your throat. Once that is down, it's a total go.
I received a document my freshman year in college emailed among my friends called "Glazner's Handbook to Giving Head" or something like that. It was a 10-page analysis of good blowjob techniques, written by a gay man for women. My technique improved greatly after reading the insights within.
I wondler iif its this one?
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/blow-job.htm
your title didn't have any good results
I think the number one point is the most important Attitude. don't know how to move from nagative to positive though. suggestsions welcome.
every female in america needs that email, or a class. the difference between an average blowjob and a great blowjob can be life changing.
Interesting. I would volunteer to help out in that class. You know, like the practice dummy in cpr class. Blow, Blow, Compressions, Blow, etc. Where do I sign up?
ok, on to a slightly more serious matter.
my wife earlier in the year was slightly dissatisfied with her physical condition - even though i and most others thought she looked great. she worked hard with a personal trainer and got her body exactly where she wanted it. this has GREATLY impacted her attitude and levels of happiness. which has, in turn, greatly impacted our sex life.
this is a little embarrassing - and please understand that i'm not bragging, or complaining. for a little over 8 weeks now, we've had sex at least once a day, every day. this is up from the norm of 2-3 times a week that we've held for some time. this certainly is not a problem. i could die a happy man. except i've found myself getting a little bored. our relationship is great and the sex is outstanding. i think the main issue is that i haven't had to chase her or coax her once in all that time. no challenge. i wake up and assume i'm going to have sex. i get home and assume i'm going to have sex.
question: is it worth mentioning that i'd kind of like to have a little challenge put back into our sex life? by doing that i risk slamming the door on the whole thing. is there a better option than doing nothing?
it is also gnawing at me that a couple of years ago, it wouldn't have mattered to me at all if i never initiated - but now...
dang, son. you'd bitch if you were hung with a new rope.
up the ante. suggest something you'd have to talk her into :O
lookout, you are a darling, sweet, thoughtful man. Your wife is lucky to have you (even though you DO look like Michael Stipe--:)
Honey, honey--do NOT say what you just posted to the wife. It would devestate her. Instead, like noodle advised, up the ante or tell her in an EXTREMELY 'round about way that you'd like to chase her. I mean very 'round about. Like, whisper man-chase-woman fantasies in her ear while you're licking her yummy parts. She is enjoying her body-and YOURS-and I am certain she would take the hint. And kudos on all the sex! You beast! :doit:
I will probably NEVER have sex again, so keep me posted, OK?
that and/or a different place......some place a little risque perhaps. or bring home a new toy or clothing.....
and Bri....you've had it more recently than me so stop complaining! :D :blush:
(actually, i've got a prospect! yipee!!)
plthijinx--I don't know that to be a fact! :lol:
I do indeed like the "different place" scenario--i suggest the confessional in a RC church--hey, it was good enough for me! Or, actually, the men's restroom of the nearest Subway resturaant...the sink's are very, very well attached to the wall.
*very bad girl who doesn't give a hang*
plthijinx--I don't know that to be a fact! :lol:
just going by what you said last week or the week before. (on a tuesday i think?)
I seriously doubt that I will ever have sex again, the ax murderer shook my confidence SO badly - not so much in men, as in my ability to chose a decent one. Bet my dry spell is longer than anybody's.
Doing it in a church is always interesting.
I swear, Lookout, you men are never happy. You'll complain if you are the ones who always have to ask for sex, then you get bored if we respond by saying, "Ooooh, baby, you're so hot! I want you!" :eyebrow:
Anyways, I'd say leave some article laying around about how men always like the chase where your wife can sort of innocently come across it. If I can find a link for you, I'll post it here. Links! Maybe you guys could do whips and chains?
see? i knew some of you would think i was complaining. i absolutely am not - i would be crazy to do such a thing.
as far as trying something new? there isn't a whole lot left out there short of bringing someone new into the mix, and i won't do that inside of the marriage context. doesn't really do it for me anymore anyway.
i will most likely just ride it out and see how long this goes on. that first day she doesn't initiate... ooooh boy, LOOKOUT! :mg:
I know you're not complaining. It *does* sound funny out loud like that though. Anyway, in the spirit of seeking something you don't have, why not suggest--wait for it....
wa--aa--aa--aa-it....
some Antici
PATION! (ala Rocky Horror Picture Show, the pronounciation of the word, not the rubbing of the slippery bits)
Not to get all tantric on you, but just plain hunger, like the hunger that comes from /not/ being satiated. Like most good things, this should be shared beforehand so there's no room for misinterpretation. Play a game of who can resist the longest. Someone as in touch with her inner nymph as she is, and in tune with *your* pleasure I imagine would be happy to scratch this new itch. Badass salesman that you are, I know you could sell this, l123. Remind each other of the recently forgotten allure of playing hard to get. *Playing* hard to get. I wouldn't want it to turn ugly from a misunderstanding.
Full disclosure--The above is all total specuation. My advice is worth less than half what you paid for it, so caveat emptor. I am frequently reminded of how full of sh*t I am, and this may be one of my periodic deliveries to make room for more. Oh, and Good Luck both of you. It's a sweet problem to have, really.
on blowjobs...I usually pass on this NSFW
link for those who require assistance. I find the techniques described therein to be very on-target.
YMMV
Brian
I was only accusing you of complaining because you were expecting it :)
Roleplaying strikes me as kinda odd (Reno 911 had a hilarious bit about it a few weeks ago), but if you couch the "make me chase you" idea in a little bit of playacting, she might see the value sooner, and without feeling criticized.
Lookout123 goes to his shrink and says:
"I've got a mental problem and a physical problem."
The shrink says "fine, tell me the mental problem and then we'll tackle the physical one."
"My wife is insatiable, she's gotta have it all the time. I get up at 5:30 and we make love before I can even get a drink of water. Just as I'm about to leave for work, she makes me screw her on the kitchen table. She shows up at my office during my coffee break and we do it in the stationary closet, she hangs around until lunch and we do it again before I can eat lunch. When I get home from work she's there at the door, expecting it again before I have a chance to change, then again before dinner, once before bed and before I know it it's 5:30 in the morning and it is starting all over again.
I tell you doc, I don't know what to do."
"My god," the doc replies "That is awful. Well, what's your physical problem?"
Lookout says "Every time I jerk off I get this wicked headache"
In other words, it could be a lot worse. :)
Why I hate this thread: I was eating pizza with LOTS of crushed red peppers on it and began laughing so hard that the little red peppers have become lodged in my NOSE! OUCH! And on top of that, I can't.... stand up and away from my desk right now. Thanks, Brianna.
Why I love this thread: See above.
:)
So here's a question for you: What aspect of you most resembles a porn star?
My eyes :eyeball: :eyeball: :lol:
So here's a question for you: What aspect of you most resembles a porn star?
My libido and having spent hundreds of hours on the sets of low budget films and videos in the days I was a gaffer.
all G rated sad to say.
So here's a question for you: What aspect of you most resembles a porn star?
My resentment of amateur movie directors.
My big fat belly is kinda like Ron Jeremy's.
My big fat belly is kinda like Ron Jeremy's.
Oh, quit bragging! :)
A had a boyfriend who was very willing to let me practice on him.
As opposed to all of the guys who ran away screaming? ;)
Really, most guys would accept an offer from a female shark.
.....Really, most guys would accept an offer from a female shark.
hey! don't knock it until you try it! when they're out of water they do tend to squirm alot. just make sure you de-tooth them first! :nuts:
I'm going to go to a bowling alley and have sex with who-ever is buying.
More anon.
It beggars my imagination to think of a world where I could pick a venue and partner and have sex. I was cursed to have been born on the wrong side of this supply and demand calculation. This really happens?
Will someone please send Bri a digital camera? Her life sounds a lot more interesting than mine.
plthijinx--I don't know that to be a fact! :lol:
*very bad girl who doesn't give a hang*
Okay...now, someone correct me if I'm wrong, but...
plthijinx is a pilot, and apparently doing without sex lately. Bri lives in Ohio, not all that far from Texas for someone who is a pilot. She is also complaining about a lackanookie.
Does *anyone* see a solution to this seemingly intractible problem? Hmmm???
It beggars my imagination to think of a world where I could pick a venue and partner and have sex. I was cursed to have been born on the wrong side of this supply and demand calculation. This really happens?
Well, I suppose it's easier for a woman than a man, especially if a woman isn't that picky. I don't frequent bowling ally's but I've had offers from the AA tow truck driver when my car broke down in Cortez (he was actually kind of cute), the guy at the camp site next to mine when I happened to uncharacteristically stay in one of those organized camping spots, a guy in the park, a guy 20 years younger than me in a bar, a guy 20 years OLDER than me in a different bar, a guy in a coffee shop, and a guy who sketched my picture and handed it to me at a local club. That's all in the last month when I hav been sending out every possible stay-away-from-me-don't-come-near me vibe I can think of. I'm still seeing ax murderers around every corner and just not interested right now. However if BRUCE were to make me an offer... ;)
I was cursed to have been born on the wrong side of this supply and demand calculation.
No you were born on the wrong side of the Pacific/South China Sea/Gulf of Thailand
Okay...now, someone correct me if I'm wrong, but...
plthijinx is a pilot, and apparently doing without sex lately. Bri lives in Ohio, not all that far from Texas for someone who is a pilot. She is also complaining about a lackanookie.
Does *anyone* see a solution to this seemingly intractible problem? Hmmm???
hmmmmm, lessee here.......ah yes....
From: LVJ -- Houston TX (Pearland Rgnl)
To: KBKL -- Cleveland OH (Burke Lakefront)
Alt.: FL210 Profile: aerostar
Time: Thu Aug 11 14:43 (UTC)
Routing options selected: Great circle.
Flight plan route:
DAS120001 LFK120041 FXU300021 SWB300009 MLU300012 MON120016 GLH300013
UJM120017 MEM120009 MKL300007 JKS300027 PXV120048 FTK330016 ABB120002
CVG330011 SGH330004 APE330031 MFD
Flight totals: fuel: 115 gallons, time: 4:26, distance 975.6 nm.
:doit:
Shall I fire the grill up? Or, will you just want to get right down to it? We can always have a pizza delivered...
pizza sounds great to me! we'd have to wait for the grill to heat up, then again.......we'd have to light the fire. what? no matches? no prob, we'll make our own heat! oh, and one or two or three or four mile high trips too! (yeah, on the same flight! :D )
Shall I fire the grill up?
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
yeah, that's to, um, get the steak perfect! :drool:
Will someone please send Bri a digital camera? Her life sounds a lot more interesting than mine.
just picture Brianna Banks! :D (until she figures out how to post a pic :p )
just picture Brianna Banks! :D (until she figures out how to post a pic :p )
Mine are real, though.
Mine are real, though.
live is better than mammarex!
230 gallons roundtrip at $3.80 per gallon? That's $874.00 before you even pay for the plane. Take a commercial flight, man...you can start getting jiggy on the ride home from the airport.
ahhhh, when you buy fuel in mass quantities (4,000 gallons) you get quite the discount. we got ours for $2.17 so i'd only have to fuel the plane once and would get reimbursed $2.17 a gallon, so it wouldn't be too painful....the rental? $250/hr wet.
So...I don't hear any planes flying overhead...
I'm kind of insulted that you turned this whole thing into a cost/benefit thing-y. I, SIRS, AM PRICELESS! That is, I can't be bought. However, I can be rented. ;)
Well, I suppose it's easier for a woman than a man, especially if a woman isn't that picky. I don't frequent bowling ally's but I've had offers from the AA tow truck driver when my car broke down in Cortez (he was actually kind of cute), the guy at the camp site next to mine when I happened to uncharacteristically stay in one of those organized camping spots, a guy in the park, a guy 20 years younger than me in a bar, a guy 20 years OLDER than me in a different bar, a guy in a coffee shop, and a guy who sketched my picture and handed it to me at a local club. That's all in the last month when I hav been sending out every possible stay-away-from-me-don't-come-near me vibe I can think of. I'm still seeing ax murderers around every corner and just not interested right now. However if BRUCE were to make me an offer... ;)
I think marichiko is trying to say that she is simply irresistable.
I prefer to think of my self as more of a long-term lease.
I was wondering exactly what they said... here's your bill, wanna screw?
??
So...I don't hear any planes flying overhead...
I'm kind of insulted that you turned this whole thing into a cost/benefit thing-y. I, SIRS, AM PRICELESS! That is, I can't be bought. However, I can be rented. ;)
get this. the owner of the flight school took the aerostar on a charter. yesterday. to OHIO! :smack:
$2,187.50 for the round trip. Plt, definitely take a commercial flight. Bri, don't get worked up. Don't you want the man to arrive with couple bucks in his pocket? You're gonna be awful hungry and thirsty after about seven or eight hours, you know.
I was wondering exactly what they said... here's your bill, wanna screw???
nah it's more like "screw the bill! wanna F$ck?!"
Ok, wolfie, you said something about bitch slapping me here in the sex thread: Ok--DO IT!
(I kinda like it! :blush:
I'm actually more of a flogger.
Bitchslapping is rougher on the hands.
(joyously) A flogging! A flogging! :)
(sobbing)
wolf has, once again, left me high and dry!
(sobbing some more)
You must be bored today.
In case Wolf never returns, for you:
http://nawtythings.com/toys/dj0273.htmlThere is more than one kind of punishment ...
Is it me... Or does itsjulie appear RIPE for this thread? I'm detecting an undercurrent of...shall we say, horny-ness, in her posts, and am wondering if she has anything to add to our little homespun thread on sex? Whaddya say, julie? Any, er, pointers?
Illustrated by Britney Spears example, it's well known that US people have no sex before wedding.
That's the reason why they can easily get married in Las Vegas.
They get divorce 5 minutes later, that is longer than their sexual intercourse.
Can be worried for them because they seldom get married more than 10 times in their lifes and then look like Lizz Taylor.
So sad :(
Brianna - I totally agree.
Bring it on Julie! :corn:
HOLY SHIT !!!!
HOLY SHIT AND HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brianna - You are GOOD! OK, what gave it away before I talk?
:heart-on:
Guess I will "be a tease" - heading off to bed and off to the bachelorette party first thing in the morning - back Sunday afternoon - and I plan on having some great stories!!!! Since, it has been about 5 months for me :mg: :mg: :mg: :mg: :mg: :mg: :mg: :mg: :mg: :mg: :mg: :mg:
I'll leave you with that!
Oh, girl. five months is Nuthing! Give us a story! :)
Hey ya'll, this is the first time I have been to this site, and I gotta say ITS AWESOME!!! :p :p
Pleased ta meetcha. Welcome to the Cellar. :biggrin:
Have fun, it's some time till the last train to home pulls out.
3 months here and i have until mid november to wait so it's gonna be a total of 4-1/2 to 5 months for me. :( :headshake
Is that when the full course of meds is complete, Plt? :mg:
yeah, enzyte! i want to be like Bob! :D
:lol2:
Y'know, we need (yet) another warning acronym, like "NSFW". It should be SCF: Swallow Coffee First. That would have helped me avoid a mess, HM.
HAHA!!! you shot coffee out your no-ose! lmao! :lol2:
HAHA! Your ass fell off! ROFL!:lol2:
hehe! yeah, and i now weigh 160 lbs again! (since this is the sex thread, alot of the weight is mostly whale penis.)
whale penis. My friend.
SO. Is anybody in the Cellar having sex?
I'm not. Dammit all.
Feels like bragging to admit it now.
whale penis. My friend.
:p :blush:
SO. Is anybody in the Cellar having sex?
I'm not. Dammit all.
only with myself :(
Hey: Today Contraceptive Sponges are back on the market after too long, at Walgreen's.
Retire "Spongeworthy!"
> 500 posts on sex, wow.
I really consider my sex life private.
There's so much more to it than just "slippery friction", as Robert Heinlein eloquently phrased it. As I reflect on the waxing and waning of my sexual activity, I find that my reluctance to discuss it with "the guys" or "my internet friends" or whomever has been remarkably constant. It is an aspect of my life so intimate that the inclination to talk about it with anybody besides the woman I'm actually having sex with is non-existent. When I was younger I think this was due to a combination of shyness and chivalry. I'm old enough now to have the appellation "prude" applied, but I don't think it would be fair or accurate.
It's just not your business.
Not that I don't find the descriptions of your escapades entertaining.
damnit BigV! leave my hands out of this! oh, you were talking about you! oh ok. i saw "slippery friction" and went south, i mean off, errrrrrr, carry on! [gilda radner]Nevermind[/gilda radner]
Oh, BigV is such a gentleman! Like Sir Lancelot! *swoons* *faints dead away*
:heartpump
bri, regarding your user title, would you consider :censored: or how about :censored: or even :censored: ? because they could all be considered :doit: . anyway, just curious.
Earlier in this thread there was mention of a brazilian. I have to tell you guys, I got a gift certificate for a spa. Initially I thought I would go have a pedicure but as I perused the menu I became more and more interested in getting a wax. We were headed off for a 3 day weekend with two other couples up in Jackson hole and I figured it would add a spark to our otherwise predictable sex life if I were to get a brazilian, I planned on having her leave a landing strip. I talked to my husband about it and he was all for it. He even shaved his boys to make the whole thing even sexier. I must say, the end result was fabulous. I would love to continue to have this procedure done on a regular basis but I plan to research my location and find someone who isn't a ^%*$# sadist to do it next time. The pain was so enormous I actually laughed each time she would rip off the wax. I have never had that reaction to pain before. I don't know if I was laughing to keep from crying and shrieking or if I was laughing because I was stupid enough to pay someone to inflict that kind of pain.
plthijinx--I believe my user title says that I would do anything for love, so it must include :censored: wouldn't it? :) I've never been known as a tease.
and undone, I hate to tell you this, but it ALWAYS feels that way. It just freakin' HURTS! Put some ice on the area for awhile--you'll be okay. Oh, and take an aspirin. With some bourbon. Or a Vicodin. Either one.
Bri,
It was back in July and I am just now getting to the point where I can get myself to the spa again. In retrospect, I don't think she did it right. For god's sake she didn't trim it or powder my skin or anything. Just went for it. This time I have done my homework. And I am taking a valium before I go.
hopefully with that shot of bourbon bri mentioned earlier!
bri - ;) sweet!
Would it help if I held your hand? :blush:
heh heh
I just posted for the 69th time. I thought it apropos to let you in the sex thread know
I just posted for the 69th time. I thought it apropos to let you in the sex thread know
You naughty thing!
Oh, and bruce cannot come to your waxing. He's going to be busy that day and, oh yes, he's
mine ! :love:
hey! it's a santa tug-o-war! betcha he doesn't mind being in the middle of you 2 gals! :p
they'll kill each other fighting over bruce and you know what that means ... I'll have him all to myself!
Wolf, I respect you so I'll ignore that.
What ever happended to chica itsjulie? She went to a bachelorette party and NEVER RETURNED! I wonder if the Conn. State Police are looking for her remains even as we speak...those parties can be lethal, you know.
na, she's probably hooked up with one of the dancers still....... :doit:
na, she's probably hooked up with one of the dancers
still....... :doit:
Lucky wench. *miffed*
Girls, are you sure there is not enough of Bruce for us all to share?
Kitty has nails she can scratch--meow--
wolf has 12 gauge claws. No contest.
I am quite sure that wolf would not hesitate to pop a cap in my ass over bruce.
:rattat: Actually, "Pop a Cap in my Ass over Bruce" is a good title for a song...
Or the drag crowd's version, "Pop a Cap in My Ass, Bruce".
Bruce, how often do these catfights erupt over your attentions? When they end, do you do the winner or the loser? Or are you too much of a gentleman to tell? One BigV spoiling everyone's voyeurism is quite enough, you know.
I am no match for you girls and I do not want my ass capped or popped for that matter. I deign to your obvious superiority. I'll just have to worship Bruce from afar
--snip--Not that I don't find the descriptions of your escapades entertaining.
Hey! Exhibitionism is not a prerequisite for voyeurism. :wink: :wink: :nudge: :nudge:
...... not hesitate to pop a cap in my ass...
hey! i'll pop a :censored: in/on uhhhhhhh :blush: :vikingsmi:
[SIZE=1]oh my! did i just say that?![/SIZE] :eek:
plthijinx--are you flirting with me? You devil! Fly on over! I've got a landing strip...
just so happens that my short field landings are smooth and graceful! :blush:
Earlier in this thread there was mention of a brazilian. ... I must say, the end result was fabulous. I would love to continue to have this procedure done on a regular basis but I plan to research my location and find someone who isn't a ^%*$# sadist to do it next time. The pain was so enormous I actually laughed each time she would rip off the wax. I have never had that reaction to pain before. I don't know if I was laughing to keep from crying and shrieking or if I was laughing because I was stupid enough to pay someone to inflict that kind of pain.
Ok... now I am scared... How much do they cost anyway?
just so happens that my short field landings are smooth and graceful! :blush:
and, well,
short. Drop the hook and clubhaul! You'll
come righ about, ye scabrous scurvy dog, ye...
Avast ye landlubbers! 'Cause this thread is lower than the bilge, ye shouldn't have a problem talking about me booty or walking me plank!
Arg!
and, well, short. Drop the hook and clubhaul! You'll come righ about, ye scabrous scurvy dog, ye...
:lol2:
Um...I just want to fuck. No takers? You fie and evil doggerals...!
(in keeping with--oh, fuck it! i am sure and hearty sick of the Ren!)
Ok... now I am scared... How much do they cost anyway?
Hi Ig-
Fifty with a tip. I shouldn't have tipped her but I felt guilty! :headshake
:eek: Ouch... both the cost and the procedure... how long does it last?
Thanks for the info! :mg:
:eek: Ouch... both the cost and the procedure... how long does it last?
Thanks for the info! :mg:
It seemed like days but it was only about 1/2 hour. It took my skin a couple of days to get back to normal. It was pretty red and angry after the torture. But you know, It really was worth it.
It seemed like days but it was only about 1/2 hour. It took my skin a couple of days to get back to normal. It was pretty red and angry after the torture. But you know, It really was worth it.
Maybe a different question, maybe not: how long does the desired result last?
Maybe a different question, maybe not: how long does the desired result last?
about a month. Sorry it took so long for me to respond. I got lost for a few days. :ivy:
Thanks. Another question: How does it come back in? Prickly or downy or? Or STFU. Or pm. TIA
isn't anyone going to answer BigV's question? there are others that are curious too! :biggrin:
isn't anyone going to answer plthijinx's question? there are others that are curious too! :biggrin:
:lol2:
c'mon Bri, help us out here!
Hell I feel too old to even post in this thread, but come on Bri.
[SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray]bri bri bri bri[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=1][COLOR=Navy]bri bri bri bri[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]bri bri bri bri[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]bri bri bri bri[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]bri bri bri bri
bri bri bri bri[/SIZE]
[SIZE=5]Bri Bri Bri Bri
Bri Bri Bri Bri
Bri Bri Bri Bri
Bri Bri Bri Bri
[/SIZE][SIZE=6]Briiiiiiaaaaaaannnaa!![/SIZE]
and the crowd goes wild!
:devil: :notworthy :3way:
Wait. She's doin' some dumb ol' paper. Rats.
Who's Afraid of Virgin Wool?
Who's Afraid of Virgin Wool?
:lol2: Brilliant!!
oh i was in a SHITTY mood 'til i saw this!!! :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
well i guess she's not gonna tell us BigV. :(
Oh! sorry! was...distracted for a mo. Mine comes back in downy. Then, I re-wax it, so maybe all that waxing and re-waxing has altered it's would-be normal...er, texture? Dunno. I do it coz personally I find it---better, all 'round. Now. Off to music class! (Wagner really does just sound like some German people screaming at you. I don't get it.)
Thanks. Another question: How does it come back in? Prickly or downy or? Or STFU. Or pm. TIA
Is this is a private Brazilian conversation or can anyone join in....?
For the record mine grow in soft & downy, and grow back very slowly. Well worth the eye watering pain.
My real problem is the embarrassment factor. I'm worry when I'm trying on shoes in front of a shop assistant in case my feet smell, so you can imagine how I feel when my undercarriage is smiling away at a stranger....
FINALLY! we have an answer! downy, huh? like a pillow? when my g/f comes home i know where i'm going to lay my head!
My real problem is the embarrassment factor. I'm worry when I'm trying on shoes in front of a shop assistant in case my feet smell, so you can imagine how I feel when my undercarriage is smiling away at a stranger....
go comando in mini skirts do ya Sundae? :thumb:
Is this is a private Brazilian conversation or can anyone join in....?
For the record mine grow in soft & downy, and grow back very slowly. Well worth the eye watering pain.
My real problem is the embarrassment factor. I'm worry when I'm trying on shoes in front of a shop assistant in case my feet smell, so you can imagine how I feel when my undercarriage is smiling away at a stranger....
Private? On the
internet? That's a good one. You should post it on the humor thread. hehehe...
Anyway, thank you very much for the answer, and of course this is an open thread. Your input makes it all happen. I have another follow-on question, based on your reply.
Is this something that only a stranger could do? I know you can go to the salon and get the treatment/abuse, but is this suitable for a do it yourself project, or, at least, do it at home with the help of the (sadistic) significant other? I'm not volunteering to meet you, naturally, but the subject's piqued my interest.
As always, thanks in advance, even if the answer is stfu.
I actually pay a stranger for the abuse. More fun that way.
cash for gash, huh? gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd! sorry! :lol2:
stfu
I hope you don't mind me asking, but what does that stand for?
no prob---
Shut the f*ck up. Just giving the lady an out, you understand.
Shut the fuck up, Iggy.
:angel:
Glad my post snuck in first, hehehe...
But yours is far funnier.
huh. I just found out what MILF means. Ta Da!
Now you know what they've been saying about you, eh?
huh. I just found out what MILF means. Ta Da!
Me 2 damn it's hard to keep up being a dirty old man these days. :smack:
huh. I just found out what MILF means. Ta Da!
well then? do you fit the description?
go comando in mini skirts do ya Sundae? :thumb:
:mg:
Althought when you think about it, long skirts would get in the way if you were on manoeuvres, right?
Private? On the internet? That's a good one. You should post it on the humor thread. hehehe....
Ah but notice I jumped in anyway - you just don't get decent conversations about your flaps in the real world :biggrin:
I have had NO luck in waxing myself. I've tried my legs, my pits and my top lip (this didn't actually need doing, was more a whim thing). I left hairs all over my legs, made my armpits bleed and removed all the skin from the top of my lip (put the strip too far down - got a row of scabs that made me look scarily unclean for a while).
So, no - I wouldn't do it myself, and I wouldn't consider asking a significant other to do it unless they were trained.
Althought when you think about it, long skirts would get in the way if you were on manoeuvres, right?
you've got a point there! i just wish i was the shop assistant! :blush:
I heard MILF used on ER the other night...that was funny.
Zippyt posted a link to this movie a while back, but it seems apropos
http://www.transbuddha.com/index.php/buddha/bushes/
I think the link will work
One of them towards the end says "f*ck!", right after the phone call one... A reeeeeeeaaaaallllly ugly one. I cracked up!!
One of them towards the end says "f*ck!", right after the phone call one... A reeeeeeeaaaaallllly ugly one. I cracked up!!
Yeah, nothing takes the wind out of your sails more than a chick with an Adam's apple.
shiver eww
UT wrote about just that scenario. :lol:
isn't there a little something that Julie needs to *ahem* get off her chest here in this thread????? ;)
whoops, my bad, itsjulie.....from
this post
She's not that kind of girl, plthijinx. Nope, not that kind of girl, at all.
alrighty then. she needs to go on a coupla more dates then fill us in with the juicy details that *ahem* filled her in. :D
I have to admit though, being single after married for so many ungodly, long years is getting fun! Saw another cutie at the gym today - he caught me checking him out - twice. As he was leaving he made sure he turned to me and smiled. Oh, yeah - this is getting fun.
BUT, remember, I am not that kind of girl, so it may take a while to "fill you in" with some stories! :lol: ;)
I am not that kind of girl
but you can be if you try.
it really doesn't take much effort :eek:
BUT, remember, I am not that kind of girl, so it may take a while to "fill you in" with some stories! :lol: ;)
c'mere youngin' i'll learn ya a few things on how "to be that kinda girl"! :D
sorry BigV. Got lost again. This time much longer.
Grows in soft at first then gets coarse if left alone to grow back to the 70's bush.
That is where I'm at now. I admit it. I am damned scared to go back. I am seriously going to medicate myself before I do. It is soooo nice when it is done though.
undone, thank you very much for the candid information. I appreciate your helpfulness.
It seems that each answer generates more questions. I went back and read through the thread and I didn't see the answer to this question: What about maintenance? Repeated waxes? At shorter intervals or longer intervals? Shaving? *gulp* Chemicals?
For me personally..shaving is a fate worse than death. It lasts a day then you get itchy and bumpy from ingrown hairs.
I used to wax my bikini line which wasn't too bad but I don't think I could do it now. Maybe my tolerance for pain was better then. I know there are hair depilitories out there but I doubt they work any better than shaving. One should go back every 2 months or so at first to maintain her hair free loveliness. I understand that the more often you wax the thinner and finer the hair grows back. As a result you could go longer between waxings. I myself am wondering how expensive laser treatment is...that would be the way to go, then it would never grow back!
I want to find someone I like so I don't have to go through the humiliation of exposing myself to a total stranger again and again. That is one of the reasons it has been months since I have returned. :blush:
A good trimming is in order every few weeks...shaving or waxing, ouch!
What's better than a rose on your piano?
Tulips on your organ!
Cultivate your own garden!----Voltaire :)
Not that I would know anything about anything, or anything.
Well, I have to thank everyone on this thread for this discussion that helped to end my recent celebate period. I wasn't trying hard enough, so last month I took my wife for a one night excursion. We left the kids home and went to a nice hotel just half a mile away.
No worries and all the time in the world. We decided we have to do this regularly, even at $129/night.
I've been hella busy at work and haven't been able to visit here in a couple of months. Glad to see y'all are doin well.
So, who here was most recently laid?
I took my wife for a one night excursion. We left the kids home and went to a nice hotel just half a mile away.No worries and all the time in the world. We decided we have to do this regularly, even at $129/night.
Good for you! It sounds like it was as much a treat for her as for you, so OF COURSE you have to do it regularly! It's always great to see a couple actually working on their marriage. It inspires me when I need it. I wish you many happy..........well, you know......times....
Good for you! It sounds like it was as much a treat for her as for you, so OF COURSE you have to do it regularly! It's always great to see a couple actually working on their marriage. It inspires me when I need it. I wish you many happy..........well, you know......times....
[100] Thanks. Our 15 yo daughter makes it difficult at home; she sits between us when watching TV, knocks on our bedroom door a lot, and the other day I was hugging Mrs RS in the kitchen, she says "You're just doing that to piss me off". I said, "I'm just doing it cause I love mommy".
We'll have to book another hotel room soon.
[QUOTE=Rock SteadyI said, "I'm just doing it cause I love mommy".
We'll have to book another hotel room soon.[/QUOTE]
Awwww! that is so goddurl adorable! Personally, I'd love to believe in men like you (and bruce, who, I'll just come right out and admit it-shuns me!) but I've found that guys like you are akin to Santa Claus, Jack Skellington, Paul Bunyon, Zeus and Jesus Christ. You dunna exists. At least not in the soup bowl you don't. *
*HIGH self-pity mode...alluded to on an obscure thread that I cannot now recall.
Awwww! that is so goddurl adorable! Personally, I'd love to believe in men like you (and bruce, who, I'll just come right out and admit it-shuns me!) but I've found that guys like you are akin to Santa Claus, Jack Skellington, Paul Bunyon, Zeus and Jesus Christ. You dunna exists. At least not in the soup bowl you don't. *
What she said.
QUOTE=Rock Steady][100] Our 15 yo daughter makes it difficult at home; she sits between us when watching TV, knocks on our bedroom door a lot, and the other day I was hugging Mrs RS in the kitchen, she says "You're just doing that to piss me off". I said, "I'm just doing it cause I love mommy".
To the 15 yr old daughter - you are sooo lucky to have parents who are married - and hugging!
(What am I thinking?! You can't tell a 15 yr old girl anything. They already know everything....).
Awwww! that is so goddurl adorable! Personally, I'd love to believe in men like you (and bruce, who, I'll just come right out and admit it-shuns me!) but I've found that guys like you are akin to Santa Claus, Jack Skellington, Paul Bunyon, Zeus and Jesus Christ. You dunna exists. At least not in the soup bowl you don't.
Well, it's a lot easier for me to be a saint if I'm in California and you're in Ohio. :angel:
(What am I thinking?! You can't tell a 15 yr old girl anything. They already know everything....).
:lol:
"Well.....yeaah." :rolleyes:
how is a man like a tile floor?
lay him right the first time and you can walk all over him for the rest of your life.
Not directed at anyone in particular, just reminded of it.
Also whoever said "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" was off by about eight inches
I've always said that The way to a man's heart is straight through the ribcage, but I probably have different objectives.
So, who here was most recently laid?
heh. not I. it's beennnnn lemmeseehere, 5+ months.
11 months for me :(
I was trying to get my head sorted to start with & then it just became a habit.
New question. What about toys?
I guess this is really a question for the ladies. Actually, I don't really have any questions for the guys. There isn't anything I want to know that I don't already know about the guys. But the ladies are a perpetual mystery. So, do you have, use, like, dislike any toys? Used to but don't now? Curious but haven't tried one?
Naturally, more follow on questions will come later, like what kinds of toys, how do you like them used, solo, together, tips, suggestions... Ok, that's a start.
Oh good. So Gerbils are still OK then?
Two Gerbils in a bar one says to the other " Ya, fancy getting shit-faced tonite?"
oh my lord. i laughed forever.
toys... always liked the idea. other than the standard vibes, though, and a few lotions, never had any. but the adam and eve people followed me to my new place (those people would make a fortune in bill collecting) and i showed my honey this lovely leather strap with a vibe on the bottom, and his eyes glazed over. who knew?
so...bought it..used it... damn near blew the top of my head off. good, GOOD sex.
anybody seen the HBO "sex investigators" thing? this is a cool show -- deals with the everyday, the common problems. as much communication as sex, but it's had some interesting ideas, and we've actually used some of them.
toys... always liked the idea. other than the standard vibes, though, and a few lotions, never had any. but the adam and eve people followed me to my new place (those people would make a fortune in bill collecting) and i showed my honey this lovely leather strap with a vibe on the bottom, and his eyes glazed over. who knew?
so...bought it..used it... damn near blew the top of my head off. good, GOOD sex.
anybody seen the HBO "sex investigators" thing? this is a cool show -- deals with the everyday, the common problems. as much communication as sex, but it's had some interesting ideas, and we've actually used some of them.
Do you by chance, have a link to this fabulous device?
My wife is quite the coniseur (HTF do you spell that, anyway?) of toys in all their pulsing, throbbing variations. Everything from the classic Sears catalogue, lovely young lady rubbing her smiling visage against the "facial massager to ease tension", to devices that look as though they were conceived by Venusians to use on the dreaded Bugblatter Beast of Tra'al.
Somehow, we seem to always end up returning to the basic, classic designs. The only overarching requirements seem to include a firm, powerful, but not-too-fast vibratory rate and a commodious working relationship with exotic lubricants.
The little fingertip jobbies are comfortable and precise, but tend to lack a vibratory intensity which is suitable for our needs. The multi-mode "egg" designs do not wear well, probably due to the need for a corded remote to operate them. The only other drawback we've discovered to various devices is that, the more supple and refined they are, the less durable.
Do you by chance, have a link to this fabulous device?
http://www.adameve.com/catalog_name=AdamEve/category_name=17320/product_id=4508/product.htm
it's just the run-of-the-mill cock ring...... it's all in how it's used, i guess. :love:
I had one of
these as a pre-teen. I really wonder to this day if the aunt who gave it to me (an empowered woman, to say the least) in fact knew exactly what she was doing.
I wonder too. We have one or two of those floating aroung the house somewhere. Until now, I hadn't imagined what I think you're implying. Wow.
A new thread is underway related to this topic. A link from here when it's posted.
Here is the promised link. I hope your auntie steers clear of these folks.
...snip Until now, I hadn't imagined what I think you're implying. Wow.
...snip.
That's because Clodfobble thinks outside the erm, ahem,
box.
Where in the heck did my ASS land?! BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!
That's because <strike>Clodfobble</strike> BigV thinks outside the erm, ahem, box.
Corrected.
I had one of these as a pre-teen. I really wonder to this day if the aunt who gave it to me (an empowered woman, to say the least) in fact knew exactly what she was doing.
How did you explain the ink stains to your mother when she did the laundry?
How did you explain the ink stains to your mother when she did the laundry?
HAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAA
SCF!
I think the best invention in toys is the "bullet" or "egg" thingies... those are fun!! :p
How did you explain the ink stains to your mother when she did the laundry?
i thought.. ink stains?
and then i thought....................
ah.
bwahahahaha
if the world ended today and in a thousand years a strange enlightened species came around investigating they would wonder what our familial fascination with rabbits, dolphins, and turtles would be.
i mean, yes, we enjoy toys.
My then boyfriend, now husband bought me my first vibrator, a simple black one from the local dirty book store. Probably why I married him :) Since, we have tried lots of different things, but generally they all get used once and tossed in the garbage. However, after my last plain ole vibrator pooped out, I ended up trying a
hungry bear vibrator and holy moly. For the first time I use it even when he's not around. It twirls and vibrates (or only one at a time). I give it 5 moans. By the way, I only paid $60 at the local shop here, I just noticed the price on the link was $96. Either way, worth
every penny...
hm. really beginning to see the advantages of not bothering with an actual boyfriend...
I can't say I've every really enjoyed using a vibrator. For me stimulation is as much about fantasy as technique. I find them noisy and a little too intense for clitoral stimulation, and have never really mastered the art of masturbation any other way. For me they have only been used as props if my partner has been a fan of toys.
But I did buy my Mum a Rampant Rabbit for her birthday (she said she didn't know who else to ask). Her carefully worded vague report suggests perhaps I should get one for myself & see what I've been missing out on.....?
But I did buy my Mum a Rampant Rabbit for her birthday (she said she didn't know who else to ask). Her carefully worded vague report suggests perhaps I should get one for myself & see what I've been missing out on.....?
:lol: NO WAY! LOVE IT! :thumb:
hm. really beginning to see the advantages of not bothering with an actual boyfriend...
OK, I confess, I'm not a real person. I'm Brianna's new sex toy:
coin operated boy
sitting on the shelf he is just a toy
but i turn him on and he comes to life
automatic joy
that is why i want a coin operated boy
who could ever ever ask for more
love without complications galore
i will never leave my bedroom
i will never cry at night again
wrap my arms around him and pretend....
coin operated boy
all the other real ones that i destroy
cannot hold a candle to my new boy and i'll
never let him go and i'll never be alone
not with my coin operated boy ...
he may not be real ... experienced with girls
but i know he feels like a boy should feel
isnt that the point that is why i want a
coin operated boy
with his pretty coin operated voice
saying that he loves me that he's thinking of me
straight and to the point
that is why i want
a coin operated boy.
http://dresdendolls.com/downloads_n_lyrics/lyrics/coinoperatedboy.htmHow did you explain the ink stains to your mother when she did the laundry?
That's the thing, it came with removable ("interchangeable") ink tips--so it didn't even have to have any ink in it at all. I feel certain the
manufacturers know what their product is most often used for, at any rate.
...I find them noisy and a little too intense for clitoral stimulation...
Cheap ones definitely are. I've personally found that can be solved by using mostly-depleted batteries.
Slimming Down Heats Up Sex Lives
Not to change the subject--I find the current topic very informative. I am taking copious mental notes. But it is the Sex Thread, and this article caught my attention. No real surprises here, but a good confirmation of my empirical experience.
Especially this, more insight into her head.
Women reported more difficulty than men, Binks said. "For women, not wanting to be seen undressed and not enjoying sexual activity were particularly troublesome," he said.
Maybe if I hump my Big Bear Vibrator enthusiastically enough I'll lose weight?!
c'mere girl, i'll help ya!
c'mere girl, i'll help ya!
Hey! if you're in Memphis--! Just fly a bit north! I'm right on the corner! :love:
Maybe if I hump my Big Bear Vibrator enthusiastically enough I'll lose weight?!
Yes but it will all be water weight.
My ex-girlfriend gave me a copy of this book.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/089480023X/qid=1129683598/sr=8-2/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i2_xgl14/103-8215872-3547051?v=glance&s=books&n=507846
[CODE]ACTIVITY CALORIES BURNED ACTIVITY CALORIES BURNED
-----------------------------------------------------------------
REMOVING CLOTHES: ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE:
With partner's consent.....12 Shoes flew off...............35
Without partner's consent.187 Expression didn't change....1/2
Orchestra swelled.............6
UNHOOKING BRA: Birds sang
Using two calm hands........7 Large birds..................7
Using one trembling hand...36 Small birds..................3
Earth moved..................30
Lifting partner............15 PULLING OUT:
Dragging partner on floor..16 After orgasm................1/2
Using skateboard............3 A few moments before orgasm.500
ACHIEVING ERECTIONS: PENIS ENVY:
For normal healthy man....2.5 For woman.....................3
Losing erection............14 For men......................72
Searching for it..........115
GUILT:
PUTTING ON CONDOM: Despite no formal training,
With erection.............1.5 orgasm comes easily..........53
Without erection..........300 You're enjoying sex,despite the
fact that other people are
INSERTING DIAPHRAGM: starving......................2
If the woman who does it is Sex on your lunch hour........3
Experienced.................6 Putting it on expense account..
Inexperienced..............73 20
If a man does it..........680 AGGRAVATION:
Add (5) calories for retrieving Partner keeps showing plants..5
it from across the room. Partner insists on cuddling the
dog during foreplay..........14
ACCORDING TO NATIONALITY: Partner visiting bathroom for
Italian- Man on top,woman in 7th time.....................10
kitchen....................26 Partner taking phone calls....7
Russian- Woman on bottom, Partner making phone calls...40
Man getting permission.....55
American- Both on top......60 GETTING CAUGHT:
By partner's spouse..........60
SIDE EFFECTS INTERCOURSE: By your spouse..............100
Bouncing....................7 Trying to explain............55
Sliding around..............9 Trying to remain calm.......100
Serious skidding...........12 Leaping out of bed...........75
Whiplash...................27 Getting dressed in one motion
500
Thanking partner quickly......2
ORGASM:
Real.......................27
Faked.....................160
[/CODE]
Regarding improvised devices:
A couple of years ago there was quite a bit of a furor over a Harry Potter Vibrating Broom.
Regarding improvised devices:
A couple of years ago there was quite a bit of a furor over a Harry Potter Vibrating Broom.
Yup. Now Mommy and the kids have something else to fight over.
Anyone ever have sex while suspended by large fish-hooks that were suspended from the ceiling?
Talk about "Fly The Friendly Skies".
On top of the NYC subway cars during rush hour.
On the top of the mausolem of Marie Laveau, the "Witch Queen" of New Orleans.
In a cell at Alcatraz.
In the last tram car at Disneyland. You got to be careful with that one.
Mickey gets mad when you fuck around in his park.
On the roof of "Playcade" in Atlanic City at 3 in the morning.
My wife loves when we go on vacations.
Hey! if you're in Memphis--! Just fly a bit north! I'm right on the corner! :love:
[hijack] eh, i was only there for a couple of hours, my passenger had a speech at the university...... :( landed back in H-town around 1:30 a.m. to be at work at 7:00) [/hijack]
Speaking of toys, I found
this intriguing.
The double entendre potential is very high:
Your words move me.
I'll give a buzz for lunch.
Talk dirty to me.
Reach out and touch someone.
etc.
Isn't it about time for all you ladies to start posting pics of your own favorite toys?
Speaking of toys, I found this intriguing.
or time it so she is in a meeting and figuer out how to text the 1812 ovature ,
buzzbuzzbbuzz , BOOOM ,buzzz buzzz buzzz ,BOOOOOM !!!
Isn't it about time for all you ladies to start posting pics of your own favorite toys?
I did...
SD, didn't you intend pictures in situ? :lol:
Situ? I've never heard it called that. Must be Missouri slang. But I'll trust you Els, you represent the Show Me state, after all. :lol:
In Situ
biology: to examine the phenomenon exactly in place where it occurs (without removing it in some special medium etc.).
Rent a movie if you want that, all you're getting is stock photos stolen from the web from me! :p
Regarding improvised devices:
A couple of years ago there was quite a bit of a furor over a Harry Potter Vibrating Broom.
MAN. either i'm becoming invisible or you guys share my reluctance to follow links:
'member this one?
FYI: I saw the link, lj, but didn't follow it. I could see from mousing over it what the url was. As I was reading about the wiggly pen in the thread, I was hoping nobody else has made the connection in their mind that you made, so I could post the Harry Potter broom story first. It's good humor!
The Toy website was pretty weird...... I like this line
"Beep beep! - there it is, a new message...
Your heart races as you read his sexy words
You know he is thinking only of you"
Errrrrmmmm...... I didn't know you could read with your vagina - but then again, I never tried.
<off to give it a whirl>
SD, didn't you intend pictures in situ? :lol:
Well I expect we'll have to take what we get. However I do applaud LabRat's thorough documentation even so--very scientific & all.
The Toy website was pretty weird...... I like this line
"Beep beep! - there it is, a new message...
Your heart races as you read his sexy words
You know he is thinking only of you"
Errrrrmmmm...... I didn't know you could read with your vagina - but then again, I never tried.
<off to give it a whirl>
hahaha!
[joke tangent]
A guy is having his lunch sitting on a park bench next to a blind man. Being the generous sort, he offers a piece of matzo bread to the blind man. The blind man accepts it, then turns to the guy and asks
"Who wrote this shit?"
[/tangent]
Hello Cellar. I'm a longtime lurker, just registered today. What originally attracted me to these forums was the "Image of the Day" section (the first one I saw was a picture of the fireman putting a mask over a dog, a photoshopped image but hilarious due to the subtlety). Then I found this thread...
First of all, I'm a male. I'm not going to go back in time with this thread (I read all current 44 pages), so I'll keep with the current question: toys are great. My favorite is a plug (the rectal kind). It kind've freaked my wife out the first time I told her I wanted to get one.
First of all, I'm a male. I'm not going to go back in time with this thread (I read all current 44 pages), so I'll keep with the current question: toys are great. My favorite is a plug (the rectal kind). It kind've freaked my wife out the first time I told her I wanted to get one.
Welcome, welcome!
Well...what does a rectal plug do for you, sensation-wise? :blush:
It's... hard to describe. My old one was cut up (long story), so it's been a while. You know how it's said that there's a gspot for guys? It's there alright. Not only that but the act of stretching that area is fun too (because it's challenging to fit more in each time, and satisfying when it sets in place). It's hard to describe to women, unless they've had stuff up there too; but for men it can be described as a pleasureable feeling on your penis and in the back of it.
But I've also been putting things in there since I was very young (pre-teen). I'm 22 now. Have a new plug on the way in the mail!
Do most men like this sensation? I've often wondered how far to go with stimulating "that" part of a man...how about it, guys? Do you want your partner to "go there"--??
I think one thing that is a barrier is trying to get past that whole "exit only" and "ewww gross" mentality/taboo (be sure it's clean though before you do something like this!)
Hey. Can somebody put up a poll-thing-y and see how many male dwellars like/dislike the butt thing? I don't know how to do a poll. I am the least computer literate person you'll ever meet...so, don't try to insult me--I KNOW I'm dumm.
SO--a poll with lots of possible responses (the more responses available to a person, the more responses you'll get!) OK----now: Somebody DO IT.
And, thanks! :love:
You don't necessarily have to be selective. Some guys like other forms of pleasure in that area (seen a few porns where tongue meets the area...). Maybe include in that poll several variations? Some guys :love: :yum: :blush: :eek:
dude. need a POLL. Set one up, willya?
My understanding is that penetration of the male anal opening can lead to massage of the prostate gland producing orgasm-inducing vibrations.
I'm old skool and never used any toys nor want anal stimulation. Different strokes for different folks.
I think a lot of guys don't like the idea because if they enjoyed it that would be gay or female. Obviously, I don't have that kind of hangup. I think older folks such as Brianna and I like to fuck the old fashioned way.
I did...
hey - we've got that one. love it! it even goes on vacation with us.
:D
it even goes on vacation with us.
Do you have to buy an extra seat for it on the airplane?
No, but the carry-on luggage searches are a *hoot*!
:rattat: I killed the thread with my unusual conversation piece. :rar:
no, you didn't. It's just that Sulu came out of the closet and the majority of Cellarites are these nerd-y, Trekk-y, hippie-types and they're stunned and freaked by this revelation and must slowly come to terms with the gayness of the Trek. (I always thought it was kinda gay anyway). Dinna worry. They'll be back.
no, you didn't. It's just that Sulu came out of the closet and the majority of Cellarites are these nerd-y, Trekk-y, hippie-types and they're stunned and freaked by this revelation and must slowly come to terms with the gayness of the Trek. (I always thought it was kinda gay anyway). Dinna worry. They'll be back.
:lol: But it must also be a relief, since it's OK to be gay like Sulu, maybe some of these guys can finally get a date, even if it's with each other. :mg:
so says the gender conrfused gweenie/rock steady
what's your favorite position ladies?
Woman on top... I like the control ;).
doggie for best penetration. And reverse cowgirl.
Man on top, by a long shot. I definitely don't go so far as rape fantasies, but I like me some aggressiveness.
... but I like me some aggressiveness.
Mmmmmmmmm! Me, too! I like a LOT! Come and get me, big boy!
Mmmmmmmmm! Me, too! I like a LOT! Come and get me, big boy!
You're such a hornball, Brianna.
*ashamed* :blush:
(in a quiet voice): "I know."
hangs head.
Hey I didn't say that was a bad thing.
Flushed with heat, she struggles free
twisting, writhing she escapes
just for a moment, then looks back
the embers glowing in her eyes
Rapt, and eager, he pursues
fist knotting in her hair, he grins
He has control, in this moment
a moan from her lips passes
Lips collide, he presses down
just for a short time she replies
then pulls away again depriving him
his lust boils and boils scalding him
somebody finish this.
and then she makes pleasant and non bitchy posts for a few days.
woman reverse cowgirl, cowgirl, doggie.....it's all good! i've got 15 more days until the g/f comes home then it's a verrrrrrry good posibility y'all won't hear from me for dayyyyyyyyyys. :D
Flushed with heat, she struggles free
twisting, writhing she escapes
just for a moment, then looks back
the embers glowing in her eyes
Rapt, and eager, he pursues
fist knotting in her hair, he grins
He has control, in this moment
a moan from her lips passes
Lips collide, he presses down
just for a short time she replies
then pulls away again depriving him
his lust boils and boils scalding him
her face darkens
"I have something to tell you"
Flushed with heat, she struggles free
twisting, writhing she escapes
just for a moment, then looks back
the embers glowing in her eyes
Rapt, and eager, he pursues
fist knotting in her hair, he grins
He has control, in this moment
a moan from her lips passes
Lips collide, he presses down
just for a short time she replies
then pulls away again depriving him
his lust boils and boils scalding him
somebody finish this.
her face darkens
"I have something to tell you"
"My name is Steve, and I was on my way to a costume party."
LJ is OK with that. He's progressive.
Does anyone have a masochistic streak, but they don't know it? I was asked this question recently. I didn't know how to respond.
What is that? domination or something?
yeah and not my cup of tea.
mine either. i like "rough".. but not pain!
I like me some aggressiveness.
Ditto.
I like the domination though, not the pain (at least, not a lot of pain).
Doggie Style has to be my favorite... with him pulling my hair... :yum: :love:
ok, rough is one thing but pain and wearing the "gimp" outfit is just plain eww.
Position depends on the partner - doggie style can be painful with a larger man, whereas being on top means more friction, which is rewarding if your partner is smaller.
Talking genitals of course, not body shape!
Could never understand the attraction to the up the butt thing. Very different
I don't like the up the butt thing, either. I DO like the 'pull my hair' thing, though. I like beastly men (well---beastly in the sack. I want them warm, supportive and encouraging OUT of the sack. And rich. Very, very rich*)
(*oh, for goddess' sake! I'm KIDDING!! I kid! I kid!)
The thing I like about the doggie style is grabbing her hanging breasts. What I like about her on top is her breasts hanging in my face. I wouldn't get that with reverse cowgirl, never tried it.
Ditto.
I like the domination though, not the pain (at least, not a lot of pain).
Doggie Style has to be my favorite... with him pulling my hair... :yum: :love:
Are you
sure you're from Kansas? :worried:
I used to be into sadomasochism, beastiality, and necrophilia.
But then it dawned on me that I was beating a dead horse.
Are you sure you're from Kansas? :worried:
Last time I checked... :o Why, is that bad?
Another gem from the Sunday Times - sounds like a leftover from the Balkan war:
'A doctor is experimenting with a radical new contraceptive treatment - electric shocks to the testicles. Dr Sava Bojovic, a fertility expert in Novi Banovci, Serbia, says the small shock makes men temporarily infertile. "We attach electrodes to either side of the testicles and send low currents flowing through them," he explains. "This stuns the sperm, effectively putting them to sleep for up to 10 days." He hopes to have a small, battery-powered testicle shocker ready by Christmas.
Oh, yeah? After you, buddy!
:sadsperm:
I have been waiting over a year to use that smilie and now, thanks to Cyclefrance, I can!
I always wondered what anybody would ever need to use the "sad sperm" smiley for... and here we are! Well done.
I'm the den mother for :sadsperm: I love them all!!
oh you're such a slll....horny gal! God bless you! :blush:
[size=1]takes one to know one![/size]
[QUOTE=plthijinx]oh you're such a slll....horny gal! God bless you! :blush:
Nope, you got it right the first time! :D
From here. Asia's rapid economic growth and the heavy stresses associated with it are taking their toll on people¡¯s sex-lives, a worldwide survey suggests. According to the annual global sex survey by the U.K. condom manufacturer Durex, people the world over have sex on average around twice a week or 103 times a year.
At the bottom of the list was Japan, a nation with a word for ¡°death from overwork,¡± with 45 times per year, short of even half the global average. Singaporeans ranked second with 73 times. Nine Asian countries were among the bottom 10: India with 75 times, Indonesia with 77, Hong Kong with 78, Malaysia with 83, Vietnam with 87, Taiwan with 83, and China with 96. Sexually liberated Sweden was the only non-Asian country with 92 times a year. Korea was not included in the survey covering 41 countries and 317,000 people.
On the other hand, the Greeks were estimated to have the most vigorous sex-lives with 138 times of a year, followed by Croatians with 134 times. Serbians and Mongolians came in joint third place with 128 times, followed by France (120), Britain (118), the Netherlands and Poland (115), the U.S. (113) and Australia (108).
I'm just saying, that's all. :blush:
Hell, I feel better now.
Maybe I ain't gettin old.
when my g/f comes home this weekend, we're gonna shatter those statistics!
Well, I just joined, and so of course read the sex thread. Good to see that so many of you have had such good times. I must say that since I came of age in the sexually repressive '50s (I am now almost 70) it took a while for me to lost my inhibitions.
Things are a lot more sex-friendly now, and I like it.
I just watched the episode in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (rerun of course) where she and Reilly have sex in the house haunted by the kids abused by sexually repressive nuns. A bit different from the TV in the '50s, where married couples had to sleep in twin beds.
Hi, joelnwil (um--are you two people? Like, "Joel" and "Will" or, "Joel" and "Wilhemina" or whatnot?) Or, don't answer and keep us all guessing.
Glad you like the sex thread. We have lots of fun threads here!
I'm glad you are here--we need some people in their 70's to offer their prespectives.
And, PS--to all of you other Dwellars: I am NOT flirting! OK? :lol:
But I don't feel Japanese... :eyebrow:
But I don't feel Japanese... :eyebrow:
I am not turning Japanese yet...if, indeed, that was aimed at moi.
I am be
having .
I am not turning Japanese yet...if, indeed, that was aimed at moi.
I am behaving .
Aimed, yes; at you, no.
It's Joel N. Williams.
The N is for Nance, as in John Nance Gardner - that "whiskey drinking, poker playing, evil old man." (F D R)
Pleased to meet you, joel.
Another gem from the Sunday Times - sounds like a leftover from the Balkan war:
'A doctor is experimenting with a radical new contraceptive treatment - electric shocks to the testicles. Dr Sava Bojovic, a fertility expert in Novi Banovci, Serbia, says the small shock makes men temporarily infertile. "We attach electrodes to either side of the testicles and send low currents flowing through them," he explains. "This stuns the sperm, effectively putting them to sleep for up to 10 days." He hopes to have a small, battery-powered testicle shocker ready by Christmas.
Oh, yeah? After you, buddy!
Ya know, when us Germans did that, ya'll claimed we were the "Axis Of Evil".
Of course, we were using 220 volts, but none the less...
Sounds like a great Christmas gift.
When I was in college I worked as a lifeguard at a city pool in Houston Texas for several summers. One summer, when I was about 20, I met a young guy about 17, whose name I have long forgotten.
We used to eat lunch together sometimes, as the pool was closed for lunch. He confided in me that he was worried that he was masturbating too much. So he asked his doctor how many times he could masturbate before he "ran out".
The doctor, bless his heart, gave my friend an actual number! I don't remember what the number was, but it was big enough to where my friend did not think he had to worry.
I, on the other hand, went home and did the math. I figured that at the rate I was going, if the doctor's number was correct, I was good until about 35.
That worried me for about 3 days...
On the other hand, the Greeks were estimated to have the most vigorous sex-lives with 138 times of a year, followed by Croatians with 134 times. Serbians and Mongolians came in joint third place with 128 times, followed by France (120), Britain (118), the Netherlands and Poland (115), the U.S. (113) and Australia (108).
Now I feel like I'm letting the country down :neutral:
Anybody here try the Iron Crotch trick?
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1624868.html?menu=news.quirkies
Martial arts grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng attached himself to the truck and pulled it several yards across a car park in Fremont.
The Tri-Valley Herald reports that he first tied a strip of blue fabric around his penis and testicles and tugged to make sure it was on tight.
An assistant then kicked him hard between the legs before he lashed himself to the vehicle.
About 20 people, most of whom study Qigong, the ancient Chinese art of movement and breathing to increase energy, gathered for the truck pull.
Jin-Sheng, originally from Taiwan, is the grandmaster of Iron Crotch, a branch of Qigong said to have 60,000 followers worldwide.
Its practitioners are known to lift hundreds of pounds with their genitals to increase energy and sexual performance.
There is nothing in my qigong book about Iron Crotch.
But I don't feel Japanese... :eyebrow:
I just got that....doh. :smack:
Anybody here try the Iron Crotch trick?.....
nope. i've been busy using it to shatter the previously mentioned records!
[size=1]4 times yesterday! before work, twice at lunch, and after work! ahhhhhh i feel much better now! it's great having the g/f/soulmate home![/size]
What happened to the big romantic spectacle? Did it just collapse into a giant pool of spooge or what? :lol:
What happened to the big romantic spectacle? Did it just collapse into a giant pool of spooge or what? :lol:
:lol2: let's just say that nothing ever goes as planned!
That's OK. Somehow, collapsed in a post-orgasm puddle of sweat, those plans that went awry don't seem important. ;)
There is nothing in my qigong book about Iron Crotch.
You need to get a Qi
dong book.
That's the one with all the different clappers in it, right?
Dear Anonomous,
no means yes when she's just a little mad at you
no means yes when she doesn't really want to but will
no means yes when a little more foreplay will do the trick
no means yes when she has a headache to get her mind off the freakin headache
no means yes when she wants you to put a little more effort forth
no means yes when the timong is just a bit off
when will you guys ever figure us out
It would be easier to build a bridge to Hawaii. :eyebrow:
We could figure it out eventually if you'd get together and agree on a common code. New woman? Start all over again.
if we figured them out, they wouldn't be fun to play with anymore.
Inspired by this thread, wife and I had two date nights in a hotel away from the kids. Our third is booked for the last week of the year.
Thanks to all of you, I'm having sex again after a three year hiatus, once a month!
How come only the married people are having sex?
1970's culture message, RE: sex; obviously fraudulent.
*pissed*
Anyone had phone sex?
yes, and it is very fun. I highly recommend it.
How come only the married people are having sex?.......
hehe. i'm not married and i enjoy my lunch hour just about evvvvvery day!
[size=1]no, my hand is NOT tired and yes, my g/f is finally home! :joylove: [/size]
Outstanding and a lot easier than typing with one hand ;)
[QUOTE=Brianna]How come only the married people are having sex?......./QUOTE]
hehe. i'm not married and i enjoy my lunch hour just about evvvvvery day!
[size=1]no, my hand is NOT tired and yes, my g/f is finally home! :joylove: [/size]
I did think of you, plt, when I wrote that and I should have included a caveat for you! :)
Anyway-congrats on all the good exercise you are getting!
oh yeah. it's awesome! we're compatible in every sense....
[size=1]look for a marriage post in the near future![/size]
then you can start having sex once a month. ;)
i hope to take exception to that conception! :)
How come only the married people are having sex?
1970's culture message, RE: sex; obviously fraudulent.
*pissed*
The Fundies ordained it. :(
"Anyone had phone sex?"
Well not exactly. But a long time ago I had a back operation and had to stay home for 4 weeks to recover. During most of that time, any sex that involved hip movements on my part was not possible. Tried, but had to pull out in agony.
So one day, when my wife was at work, I was lying in bed jerking off. The phone rang, and the male voice on the other end said, "I'd like to suck your dick".
I was totally freaked out, not because it was another guy, but because I felt sure I must be observed somehow. No way, but it sure shook me up.
That is the closest to phone sex for me.
"Anyone had phone sex?"
Well not exactly. But a long time ago I had a back operation and had to stay home for 4 weeks to recover. During most of that time, any sex that involved hip movements on my part was not possible. Tried, but had to pull out in agony.
So one day, when my wife was at work, I was lying in bed jerking off. The phone rang, and the male voice on the other end said, "I'd like to suck your dick".
I was totally freaked out, not because it was another guy, but because I felt sure I must be observed somehow. No way, but it sure shook me up.
That is the closest to phone sex for me.
That was a big coincidence, huh? Must of ruined the mood! :mg:
So did you find out who was calling you?
Thats weird. VERY weird.
HahahAHhahahaha!!!!
ermm....I mean - wow, that's strange. How would anybody know that you would be laying in bed jacking off when your wife was at work?
Weird.
Unlikely the guy on the phone knew. Would have probably orgasmed if he had. :lol:
Anyone had phone sex?
yes, and it is very fun. I highly recommend it.
I never tried that. Would that be cheating on my wife? Doesn't cheating have to involve physical contact? Am I rationalizing?
I never tried that. Would that be cheating on my wife? Doesn't cheating have to involve physical contact? Am I rationalizing?
Yes you are trying to rationalize!!!! And it would be cheating - so you will have to try it with your wife! :love:
I tried phone sex and cyber sex with a girlfriend and they were both sort of exciting. I'm not sure I'd do it again, but it at least made us feel connected since we couldn't be together at the time. I'd like to ask a question also though. I've never had any delusions about being a great lover or anything, 5-10 minutes and I'm napping peacefully. Yet with the woman I am/was recently seeing, I've been able to last for 1/2 hour or more. She is having the "best sex of her life" Its been awesome for me too and done wonders for my self confidence. But whats up with that? She thinks I'm "Studly Do-right", and I have no idea why its so different with her and how do I keep it this way for my future partner(s)?
You've proved you can satisfy when they call for encores.
Keep in shape, keep in practice and pay attention to the action/reaction relationship. No, don't stop and write it down..... Mental notes.
Not everything works well with every partner but if you have a variety of "tools" to work with, you'll get the job done right. :D
"Anyone had phone sex?"
Well not exactly. But a long time ago I had a back operation and had to stay home for 4 weeks to recover. During most of that time, any sex that involved hip movements on my part was not possible. Tried, but had to pull out in agony.
So one day, when my wife was at work, I was lying in bed jerking off. The phone rang, and the male voice on the other end said, "I'd like to suck your dick".
I was totally freaked out, not because it was another guy, but because I felt sure I must be observed somehow. No way, but it sure shook me up.
That is the closest to phone sex for me.
No coincidence. That was a dream.
I've had some seemingling real dreams, especially recovering from something and on medication. I was also told by the doctor that many meds initially cause a lot more dreaming and there is nothing to read into them, they just happen, especially arising from current circumstances.
Or it could have been the web cam I put in your ceiling fixture.
ive been having crazy sex dreams lately, and they feel SO real! i can remember them in detail most mornings.. its kind of sad cause i feel like i'm cheating but it still feels good when you wake up ;)
I've had those before, Sun Sparkz. They can be soooo fun~! Enjoy!
Are the other people in those dreams, people you know? Celebrities? Strangers? Assuming there are others, of course. :3some:
Oh,....do you sleepwalk?
Of course there are other people in the dreams. Once, I dreamt it was this incredibly hot priest (an honest-to-god priest that taught sophomore Comparitive Religions class. Total hottie.) i felt kinda dirty about that one, then I found out he had left the priesthood and gotten married. Then I didn't feel so bad.
I'd really like to have the time to read the whole thread, kind of interesting
Well my best ever sex was 6 months ago, with a friend who's 5 years older. On her birthday... I did a little footmassage after a lot of dancing and promised an other one, but only with her already in bed, because i wouldn't like to spoil the massage by letting her get up. But the whole thing without any idea of what would come (at least I was not thinking about anything else). At 4 in the morning I started my massage at 6, she kissed me, horny as hell, because of the massage. At 11 we felt asleep. It was great.
Since then we have a kind of non-platonic relationship and I quite of learned a lot about women...
Of course there are other people in the dreams. Once, I dreamt it was this incredibly hot priest (an honest-to-god priest that taught sophomore Comparitive Religions class. Total hottie.) i felt kinda dirty about that one, then I found out he had left the priesthood and gotten married. Then I didn't feel so bad.
You have interesting taste in men, dearie.
... learned a lot about women...
A little knowledge can be dangerous. Proceed cautiously because theirs is a gender of great mystery and complexity.
Since then we have a kind of non-platonic relationship and I quite of learned a lot about women...
Fuck-buddies are the best.
And I do indeed have interesting taste in men...I like them all! (well, almost all. Happy Monkey pisses me off...) ;)
massages are my weakness... But I doubt I am alone in that weakness.
Wow... did I kill the thread or what?
Everybody's getting a massage.
I just got back from mine.
short, fat, tall, and small I LOVE EM ALL
I'm going to get all nasty and please my freaky man!
Howzat?
I'm going to get all nasty and please my freaky man!
Can he do math? Or does he just get conventional sex?
Massages suck for me, i just fall asleep.
I prefer to to laugh, thats the best aprodesiac.. mock wrestling, silly little teasing, pulling faces. I know, im like, SO immature right now.
Actually the most HOTTEST thing i can remember is one night, whilst out at a pub, this guy touched the back of my neck really softly, almost not at all. ran his finger from my hairline down the back of my neck. It only lasted a split second but DAMN! talk about goosebumps, weak knees and chills. And i wasnt even that into him before that.
It only lasted a split second but DAMN! talk about goosebumps, weak knees and chills. And i wasnt even that into him before that.
Um, and what about after that?
You know she can't kiss & tell. Or will she?...
Can he do math? Or does he just get conventional sex?
:lol:
tw, tell me about YOUR love life.
*anticipation*
Kissing and telling is the most fun part, because when you retell it, it's like reliving it.
Speaking of which, I have some things to share, but I don't want to gross out any guys (or girls who are opposed to mm sex).
:worried: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! :worried:
im not grossed out, sex is sex.
I dont like retelling things, and i rarely do.. it kind of then becomes a story to me, and not something i did. i like to reliveit in my head though..
laebedahs.. i thought you were straight? dont you have kids?
i'm not opposed.. sex is sex. sex stories are sex stories.
I am in favor of all kinds of sex involving human beings.
So long as you don't spook the horses.
laebedahs.. i thought you were straight? dont you have kids?
i'm not opposed.. sex is sex. sex stories are sex stories.
Yes I have one child, I don't really like to label myself, though. Besides, if I were to retell this story, I wouldn't want to censor, and I don't think these boards are ready for that.
These are boards not boreds. ;)
Well if that's the case, I'll least put a warning. I'm a bit hesitant to post this, so don't be surprised if it disappears.
[COLOR=Red]Warning: the below message may not be suitable for those who are homophobic, generally against same sex relations, or easily shocked or offended by graphic language.
[/COLOR]
I've met two guys so far through a particular personals website. Back in December, the first guy I drove to his house, we sucked each other, he fucked me in the ass, then pulled out and we jacked off to each other. He came first over my dick and I finished off second.
Earlier this month, the second guy was actually two; it was supposed to be a mmm threesome. We met near by my apartment, they both came over but the main guy had to leave. He was able to come back later that day though and we had sex for an hour and a half (never had sex that long before). Between sucking, toys, and fucking, it was great.
But then I realized: while I enjoyed it, I'm not attracted to guys, so while I love the act (receiving a blowjob and being fucked in the ass I like, but my jaw/mouth got so tired, I really don't like giving blowjobs) and the equipment I certainly don't like the total package -- if that makes sense.
You lose the ability to remove a post after 24 hours, but if you want it removed after that just PM me. I've removed several posts from people who got cold feet later or who found later they needed to protect their privacy etc.
But in this day I don't think there's much to be embarrassed by - you know, it's like, the increased sexualization of the culture and especially of the internet, if you aren't the goatse man or whatever prong is currrently fucking Paris Hilton in nightvision, nobody cares as much anymore.
I'm not embarassed by what I do and what I am. I just don't want to upset anyone, that's all. But thanks for the info and offer.
Well, whatever you are attracted to, you had a good time, and I hope you have many more.
I'm not embarassed by what I do and what I am. I just don't want to upset anyone, that's all. But thanks for the info and offer.
There are all kinds of folks out there. I found your post to be very interesting and thought provoking. I thank you for sharing that level of detail with us all. I have only shared that level of detail in private messages.
As for me, I am so attracted to females that I wish I was one of them. But, now that I'm 50 yo, it's a much better deal to be male at this age. Ex-Jethro-Tull keyboardist David Palmer switched genders and she doesn't look that good. At the very least Dee Palmer should get her eyebrows waxed.
As for the acts, I don't think our bodies know the difference as long as the parts get the right vibrations.
Anyway, I admire your ability to be straight up about this stuff.
Nice boobs shot.
You are not gay. Perhaps, like me, a lesbian trapped in a man's body. :muse: :o :blush: :3_eyes: :eek:
Well like I said, I try not to label myself. Why put a label on your sexuality? I feel that one should do what she or he wants concerning sex regardless of what society thinks (as long as it's between consenting adults).
Well like I said, I try not to label myself. Why put a label on your sexuality? I feel that one should do what she or he wants concerning sex regardless of what society thinks (as long as it's between consenting adults).
Word.
Wow Leb's your so honest and sound like your really comfortable with yourself.. i admire that so much, especially since (by the sound of it) this is a new thing for you.
Was it difficult for you at first? or did it just feel good from the start? Were your partners gay or are they similarily just experimenting and doing whatever feels good?
It's not new. I first had sex with another man when I was 15 but after that I was with my wife (speaking of which filed for divorce 2 days ago woohoo) for 6 years. Once we split up I started doing this again to see what it was like. A year into our marriage we started swinging and had a lot of plans, but she was insecure so a lot of things never happened.
Being with and subsequently married to my wife taught me a lot of things: be honest with people, but above all, be honest with yourself. You're only delaying the inevitable if you don't.
To answer your question, Sun Sparkz, all of my partners have been bisexual.
As for me, I am so attracted to females that I wish I was one of them. But, now that I'm 50 yo, it's a much better deal to be male at this age. Ex-Jethro-Tull keyboardist David Palmer switched genders and she doesn't look that good...
As for the acts, I don't think our bodies know the difference as long as the parts get the right vibrations.
Well, "straight up", one of my very close friends (and an ex-Cellarite, from the BBS days) had her reassignment surgery at 50. "Looking good" can't be what you're about if you're going to transition that late in life; being young and pretty is out of reach at that point for most of us.
Your milage may vary, but my experience has been that the bodies do indeed know the difference. The hormonal difference is stunning, the difference after surgery (if done well) is spectacular.
That is interesting and thought provoking. It also seems like a lot of history to manage at this age.
This thread needs some spark!
The topic: Men who dress like women. Otherwise known as tranvestites (men who just wear women's clothing), shemales (men who look just like women but still have the "extra" stuff), transgenders (men who have made the transition from man to woman completely).
Are the men who are with them gay, curious, or straight? Do you find them attractive, are you indifferent to them, or do you find them disgusting? Discuss.
I have my opinions on the topic but will post them later.
I'm not sure what I find them honestly - I don't give them much thought. I guess its a different strokes for different folks attitude. What does get me are the hardcore extremists on either end of the issue that try to force their beliefs of opinions on others. Just because they feel so strongly they try to push their position onto others.
This thread needs some spark!
The topic: Men who dress like women. Otherwise known as tranvestites (men who just wear women's clothing), shemales (men who look just like women but still have the "extra" stuff), transgenders (men who have made the transition from man to woman completely).
Are the men who are with them gay, curious, or straight? Do you find them attractive, are you indifferent to them, or do you find them disgusting? Discuss.
I have my opinions on the topic but will post them later.
I don't think about men too much. I shop with girls, go on Girls' Nights Out, hang on the phone with them, dinner and lunch dates.
Some transgenders are so transformed that one can not tell that they were not female at birth. After hormonal changes, shoulders can decrease in bulk, muscles soften, and other real changes take place. I would consider a man dating such a female to be straight.
When I used to go to meetings, there was a dude there named Dan who s-l-o-w-l-y became a woman. We all knew him as a guy-for years!-and then, over two years he became Dana. It was v. strange to witness the metamorphosis. After he became a she he wanted to join the Women's Meetings and most of the chicks had a big problem with that. Maybe they were just jealous as he had very nice, manicured fingernails, but he also had, like, size 16 feet and that did NOT look good in pumps. Anyway, I don't know what happened to Dana. I always kind of felt weird around her because as a guy, he was a real guy's guy and was always talking about poon.
I've always been curious about the whole situatiton. the thought process of 'being in the wrong body' I think it's real, I just wonder how it feels.. not fitting into your own skin would be an odd sensation.
Been awhile since anyone was here. Either no one is gettin' any, or we're all getting so much, there's no time for talking;) ...
I got a brazilian wax last night, in preparation for our vacation to Vegas next week, sans kidlet. [SIZE="4"][COLOR="Orange"]:eek:OUCH:eek: [/COLOR][/SIZE] It wasn't as bad as those videos, but day-um.
The result is very nice, though. Alright, everyone back to your regularly scheduled shagging.
Labrat, I think the link must be broken - I can't seem to open the video of your waxing.
Wow. Real people actually do this? Get brazilian waxed?
I guess I'm old fashioned but I'm used to seeing the carpet. It's mysterious; you can't see what's there; you don't really know what's under there until you feel it.
Wow. Real people actually do this? Get brazilian waxed?
I guess I'm old fashioned but I'm used to seeing the carpet. It's mysterious; you can't see what's there; you don't really know what's under there until you feel it.
I've never been waxed, but I prefer my women to have their floors bare, that way the cleaning equipment doesn't brush against carpet :yum:
And I don't like getting hair in my mouth.
i still prefer just a hint of a landing strip.
The LAST thing I would do is record such an event. But a before and after pic might have been pretty funny. You have to let all the hair grow 2-3 weeks so there is enough for the wax to stick to to remove it. I haven't been that furry since I first got hair...blech. The actual waxing probably could have made AFHV. Every time she ripped off a strip, my whole body just jerked from the shock. My jaw actually started to cramp from forcing my mouth shut. I don't know how the poor woman kept a straight face. (I'm not completely bare, I did the landing strip thing.)
My girl shaves it all bare down there and convinced me to do the same. :-O Well lemme tell you I am not one who particularly like sharp abject near my "equiptment", but after the initial shock had worn off I must say it is a very iberating feeling and since she like it sooo much she visits more often ;) Upkeep is a pain, but the benefits far outweigh the costs.
it makes your cock look longer.
never tried it but maybe I should......being over 50.
I'm over 40 and that was my 1st thought - I'll just go with it.
it makes your cock look longer.
Yeah, but it makes your balls look like a 10-year-old. :vomit:
Am I the only one who associates little-to-no hair with pre-pubescence?
But a before and after pic might have been pretty funny.
Well I must say, it's not too late for the after.
Yeah, but it makes your balls look like a 10-year-old. :vomit:
Am I the only one who associates little-to-no hair with pre-pubescence?
Thanks for helping me change my mind. :eyebrow:
i agree. don't shave your beanbag. if you need to be neat, use a #2 clipper or something.
go with the clippers. you're neat and clean and you don't look like you're twelve. you just always have 5 O'cock shadow.
it makes your cock look longer.
never tried it but maybe I should......being over 50.
cm?
Yeah, but it makes your balls look like a 10-year-old. :vomit:
Am I the only one who associates little-to-no hair with pre-pubescence?
You are not alone. Just seems not right to me.
I don't know 'bout y'all, but I like to dive into the bush:yum:
Well I must say, it's not too late for the after.
BEFORE:
Stop that, you're making me all tingly.
oral is much better on both ends when both ends are shaved...... at least for me and my man... when he is shaved its much easier for me to just ...:)... get him wet and slippery and have fun....
Im happy I saw this thread, I just had a conversation with the SO last night. He and I have sex probably 4-10 times a month...often we will have it once and then not for two weeks then three nights in a row... whatever... I dont have much of a libido... and we have a very... routine way of having sex. And personally, I enjoy that. I have no libido... and often in the beginning of the relationship I would have sex with him when I really didnt want to, and I tell ya, it is the worst thing in the world. So... once I ended up in tears once or twice,and we had discussed the situation multiple times, he told me he would never initiate again. Now that sucks, but its my own fault, and I have to deal with it.
So now, I just feel guilty all the time about how little sex I give him (when I know he would like it pretty much daily)... but its very easy for me to just not initiate....its really bad. Although, sometimes Id be perfectly fine just tearing his clothes off, but I cant tell if he is interested... so last night I told him that...and he said he is always interested...hehe...so I guess I will try to initiate more... I just dont want to loose him because of my low libido... I ask him what he would do if it was always liek this, if he could stay with me....but he just says it will get better, never acknowledging the fact that it might not... that kinda sucks...
Got a question though. I didnt read all 55 pages of this, so it may have been answered... Have any of you women with a low libido gotten good advice from a doctor?
Welcome to the Cellar, Munchkin. My advice: break out of the routine. Try something new. Most people worry about getting off rather than enjoying it; so, try enjoying it and not worrying about that. When you're not under pressure to perform you can have fun.
Welcome to the Cellar, Munchkin. My advice: break out of the routine. Try something new. Most people worry about getting off rather than enjoying it; so, try enjoying it and not worrying about that. When you're not under pressure to perform you can have fun.
Thank you...
Got a question though. I didnt read all 55 pages of this, so it may have been answered... Have any of you women with a low libido gotten good advice from a doctor?
have a consult with your GYN about your hormone levels and have them tested. perhaps you are low on the "T."
have a consult with your GYN about your hormone levels and have them tested. perhaps you are low on the "T."
Will do... Ive been putting that off for a while, my mom tells me to get my levels tested...but also told me to never take testosterone... but yeah.. I guess I should get over my juvenile fear of the gyn and go... even though I HATE it...
thanksya
My first wife did the shave thing once. It was fun, but I can't say that I was driven excessively wild with desire by the bareness of it all. I can say, though, that I did in fact have the whole prepubescent thing lurking in the back of my mind, and I definitely did not find that stimulating. She was also extremely put off by the regrowth process, as was I...boning stubble is not a real pleasant experience.
It does, however, make the little man in the boat a much easier target.
It does, however, make the little man in the boat a much easier target.
That's a new one to me. :lol:
i think my wife and i may be the opposite of some of what i've read here. i'm happy to have sex only once a week or so, but she likes it every day.
i am older than her, though, and that's a contributing factor, i am sure.
i just can't keep up the frequency of our early days together (every day at least once). i still LOVE it, but i think i'm just at a little slower pace than her.
oh...and...BTW...we don't shave, but we both keep it trimmed. very nice......
oh...and...BTW...we don't shave, but we both keep it trimmed. very nice......
:shivers:
just the word "shave" and i cringe.
wax, people. you are as smooth as day one.
(and the
growing out period is greatly improved.)
i've never tried that...sounds painful though.....
If I don't shave mine, it has to be trimmed. And I really like that my SO keeps his bits shaved... I follow the whole prepubecent thing, I just don't agree. I can certainly tell he is all man. :D
I want to have a brazlilian wax, it is just so expensive.
i've never tried that...sounds painful though.....
have a glass of cabernet. . . . trust me on this one.
If I don't shave mine, it has to be trimmed. And I really like that my SO keeps his bits shaved... I follow the whole prepubecent thing, I just don't agree. I can certainly tell he is all man. :D
I want to have a brazlilian wax, it is just so expensive.
worth every cent. splurge on just one at beginning of summer.
you.will.be.hooked.
i am thinking about it.....this has my attention......
:)
Shave the nuts, trim the bush... just comfortable.
As for the ladies, I like trimmed, but won't kick anyone out of bed... I just like good puddin'. Figuratively speaking, I'm married.
I like trimmed because I'm a diver, if you get me.
I'm a diver, if you get me.
I get ya.
MMMMMmmmmm..... I got me a' cravin'... my wife's gonna' be happy...
....capnhowdy, as he lurks, pretends not to be somewhat stimulated by the conversation...........
I'm a diver.... I don't get it.. hahaha ;)
It does, however, make the little man in the boat a much easier target.
That is just too funny, Elspode. As I reach in with my finger, the bush strips some of the KY-gel off my finger before I can find the destination. Then I poke around before I figure out the landscape. By then, I have to get more gel on my finger.
I like trimmed because I'm a diver, if you get me.
I've been tempted to break out snorkel equipment on more than one occasion (if I had any)....
Color me diver.
Dang "I'm tired"... who is too tired for that? There is always tomorrow!
I shave the base of my penis and scrotum when I'm actively with someone, but I usually don't do more than trim the rest. I like to leave a little bit there, because I don't like being totally bald, but I let it be long enough that it's not prickly for her. However, I've had more than one person express gratitude for not having to swallow my pubic hair while going down, so that's enough of a reason for me.
As far as libido goes.. well.. let's just say that two or three times a day isn't too much for me in springtime.
I've been tempted to break out snorkel equipment on more than one occasion (if I had any)....
Color me diver.
I tried that, but my lady prefers the finger. Actually, what I found is that the little man in the boat, the boat has a rudder under the skin. Reaching past the skin surface down below, the rudder can be stimulated to great succcess. I only know how to get there with the finger. I love hearing "Oh, yes, Yes, YES YESSS".
Are you talking about the g-spot?
Easiest to find by making a 'come here' motion with your finger. Usually girls are rather appreciative of that.
I think he was still talking about the man in the boat. It has a “hood” of skin over it… and the part under there is usually the most sensitive. It is sometimes a little too much for me, but fun nonetheless. Usually if he pulls the skin back with his fingers he can go at it as much as he wants with his mouth. :blush: Well, now I am just going to have to go home and have some fun as soon as he gets off work…. :D
I hear ya', I am often very successful spending some quality time over the hood, with pressure on the deeper clitoris through the upper hood during the early "build-up".
Are you talking about the g-spot?
Easiest to find by making a 'come here' motion with your finger. Usually girls are rather appreciative of that.
Yes, should be in line with the clit, but on the inside, of course. :D
You will feel a rough patch... a light tapping early on is often appreciated, and fun too. It can be a bit teasing...
Sex is really great and fantastic. Im a big fan of it... think everyone should have it...
it can be healthy too.
yeah, sex... i miss you.
:sniff:
You will feel a rough patch... a light tapping early on is often appreciated, and fun too. It can be a bit teasing...
'Walk' your fingers. You know, like if you were pretending your hand was a person and walking along.
I think we need to wake this thread up...
Has anyone had sex on the job? Or been caught having sex on the job?
Not I, but at a previous job (at a college) I was responsible for supervising students who worked for the computer center. Once the student who helped out our VAX admin got caught having an intimate moment :doit: with her boyfriend in the system room.
57 pages already, at the rate I read it'll take me a year to read the whole damn thing, maybe longer if I keep taking breaks from the computer ........ :doit:
I think we need to wake this thread up...
Has anyone had sex on the job? Or been caught having sex on the job?
or does anyone have sex AS their job?
There's a joke in there about various kinds of businesses screwing their customers, but I'm too polite to go there. :angel:
I've never had *intercourse* on my job/in my workplace. Oral, many times. Once, in grad school, my husband got to see his own sperm in action under the light microscope. He still brings that up avery now and then. At his current office, there is a ton of windows, so again, only had oral in his office. But their conference room has no windows. And a really large table:D .
Has anyone had sex on the job? Or been caught having sex on the job?
Yes. And no.
:devil:
Yes, but when you work the late-night shift and you know you're the only one in the building, it really shouldn't count.
Sex in the dark room rocks.
Sex in any room! The dining room table.
do you ever (vageuley) remember all those crazy things you used to do in your late teens like in the park and in the yard and up the side the house and in the forest etc etc and then you think to now when your like, old and boring as hell and all that crazy stuff seems like another world away so you just dont even think about it enough to even mention it on the cellar. one day, god, i might not even recall doing anything like that ever.
Man, I AM in my teens.
My situation (well, before I moved to Taiwan) is kinda complicated. My girlfriend refuses to make out with me, but she does let me / like it when I play with her boobies, and sometimes lets me go south, but not inside her pants. Lack of makeouts is getting to me more than anything else, but I love her dearly and it's more important to me to be in her arms than in her pants.
Though like I said in the 'best childhood memory in one sentence' thread... back row of a near-empty theater... *grins*
well im only 22.. and i feel like sometimes.. its all over.
use your youth well Ibram.. educate her!!
Sun_Sparkz, you're not old. You can still have that sort of fun if you go looking for it. I had the same sort of fun until I got married, had a kid, and now divorced (currently 23).
OMG You guys are killin me! I'm 41 and since meeting a YW I'm having more fun and doing things I never did when I was younger - like in my early twenties! Hell, when I was 23 I was married and had 3 kids by the time I turned 25. You guys are all young and should be "livin the life."
hell, i didn't get wild until i turned 22. i had fun and did the normal stuff, but then i met this one chick. ok, truth is she was a stripper - deal with it, it isn't like i was looking for a lifelong relationship. buckwild freaky voyeur. hood of the car in a parking lot, broad daylight, in the beer cooler at a bar we just stopped into, rest stop on I-80 broad daylight front row parking. that shortlived "relationship" really dialed things up for me.
then i met my first girl to admit that she owned a swing.
22-24 were a couple of really fun years. 24-32 were pretty much with one woman with a very short intermission, but that was even freakier.
18-23 was the wildest , sorta layed back and took what Came my way untill i hit the PI ( at about 20-21 ) , That freaked me out for the first nite , then all was well , YES I have paid for sex , and companionship , the girls figured out that i was a nice guy , and would treat them as ladys ( if they acted that way ) , sex in / on a jeepney , sex in a club , hell sex on stage in a club ( HARD to turn down 2 semi naked chicks saying " we have a Bath Tube show , you want to play ??? ) , sex in the surf ( the ocen doing the motion and all that !!) etc,,,, AHHH good times !!!
Holy cats. Kids today. I didn't get married till I was 36, and we had our first kid when I was 43. (SWMBO is about 9 years younger) before that I had a succession of freaky girlfriends, sex just about everywhere one could think of, given the opportunity. Now I'm more settled I guess. I wonder what life would be like if I had had my kids early like most people.
I posted somewhere, maybe here, that I don't really think there is a freaky palce to have sex. Some more interesting than others, but when you are in the mood, all that social conditioning just goes out the door.
As for being "old and boring as hell and all that crazy stuff seems like another world away so you just dont even think about it enough to even mention it on the cellar." There's the story about the two old men sitting on the porch and one says to the other: Do you remember the first time you had sex? and the other replies: Hell, it's been so long I don't remember the LAST time I had sex.
/ramble
OMG You guys are killin me! I'm 41 and since meeting a YW I'm having more fun and doing things I never did when I was younger - like in my early twenties!
Enjoy, I've had several of those Epiphanies. There's nothing like it.:thumb2:
sooo, i'm a little freaked out. a friend introduced me to a friend of hers on thursday night. we hit it off really well. phsycially, she is exactly what i'm drawn to. she was kind of quiet and shy. but we had interesting conversation and all that jazz.... so of course we ended up in bed.:rolleyes:
i have no desire for a real relationship at this point and was perfectly clear about where i'm at in life.
the sex was actually really good. then friday morning she gets up and heads out,i told her i'd call her, no big deal.
i see her friday night and the sex was indescribably good. fantastic. i spent the time from 10PM friday to 2AM this morning on beds, floors, counters, cool decking (ouch), against walls, on the stairs... just incredible.
at 2 she started talking. and didn't stop until she left an hour ago. for the third time, having left things here the first two times. i know all about her kids and their drama. her parents' drama. her grandparents' names and countries of origin (italy, duh) her ex-husband. her ex-boyfriend. the guy she only dated for awhile cuz he liked to beat her up. her career aspirations. her career mishaps. her struggle with bulimia. .........and it just kept on coming. then she started speaking in spanish. and italian. the portuguese. WTF???
i only had one way to make her stop talking. seriously, if we weren't slamming up against walls or something of the sort, then she wouldn't stop talking.
as she left for the last time, she said she'd call later and we could go to dinner and get some shopping done. um, no.
since i've started typing this i've received two text messages and one phone call.
holy shit.
ah well, the sex was great.
ok, she just stopped by "because she was in the neighborhood" and found a painting that she thought would look just great over my couch.
i'm glad i don't have a rabbit to boil or anything.
You gotta realize you're prime real estate, man. :D
If you're interested in keeping the great sex going, and just want her to back off a bit, why not mention this in a nice way to the friend who introduced you two?
Does the painting go good over the couch because it's 1) a good painting, or 2) the colors match?
If it's option 2, you might want to consider changing your home, work and cell phone numbers and moving.
Since you don't already have a rabbit ... make sure that her name is not Loreena.
actually the picture doesn't go well with anything at all. not even itself. but hey, to each their own.
i've only gotten 1 phone call and one text message since this morning, so we'll see if she calms down of her own accord.
i talked to the friend who introduced us. her response? "well, i wouldn't really say she's a friend... but she looks like your type." apparently she had only seen her for short periods of time a couple different times.
either way, we'll see how it goes.
Maybe you should go out and buy a bunny... as a proactive measure, to attract her attention away from prized posessions you alread have?
she came by at about 7 am and brought me coffee. and great morning sex. definitely more normal this time around. we talked for awhile and i reiterated that as much as i enjoy being in a relationship that i just do not have what i would need to bring to the table for a successful relationship, because my head is still consumed with wrapping up the last one. she was cool with that and said she understood. we'll see. i'm just going to enjoy the ride.
Maybe you should go out and buy a bunny... as a proactive measure, to attract her attention away from prized posessions you alread have?
A kamikazi, decoy, stunt bunny! - someone call the RSPCA! ... or the screen actors' guild! Or Chuck Norris - if he's got a bunny, it'd fit that bill!!!
[/stupid] :D
Good for you Lookout - enjoy the effin' ride man!! You deserve a little fun!! Hey if its not fun then whats the point. This woman sounds like just what you need right now. No commitment and some good old fashioned no holds barred sex. Just go with it. You have more than earned a few selfish pleasures!
Now, do we get a link to the wet T-shirt contest?:blush:
i just looked and it looks like they revamped the site and the photos are gone. bummer.
I guess this is a guy question. I'm wondering at what age a man learns about the G-spot? I know I must have been in my thirty's. Before that I was just catching what I could and didn't care!
Which brings me to this question. I've been seeing a lady, gal, and maybe nut for a few weeks. To tell the truth, I've about used up my trick bag, and still a no go for her.
Could it be that the change of life, diabetes, bi-polor or perhaps what comes after bi-? Tri ? There seems to be only two moods. F or F. No in between. I hope ya'll understand the f or f deal.
I guess it's not a bad deal for an old man like me. We are both using each other.
I don't think the G-spot was discovered...well, make that named......before you were in your thirties, Buster. :D
I stand corrected.:redface:
But, polite company didn't speak of such things in the 40s....or 50s.
well, the short term "we're just havin' fun" era just exploded. apparently me repeating for the eleventy-eight time that "i still don't want a relationship. at all. i'm still trying to get through a divorce." didn't go over that well.
KAAAA-BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!
good thing i don't have a rabbit. and i can replace the antenna from my truck.:right:
Yikes! Better luck next time, man.
oh it's all good. i don't feel any guilt or anything. if i fully disclosed upfront, in the middle, and from every other angle that i couldn't possibly pull off a real relationship.. and she still kept coming back... that is her issue then, not mine.
(i guess that makes 3 who think i'm slime;) )
I don't think you're slime in the least bit, but it sounds like you kinda knew you were flirting with disaster from the get-go! Geejus, be careful.
disaster? hell yeah. she was a nut. but phe-effin-nominal in bed. probably in the top 5 ever. so when it comes right down to it... crazyschmazy.
Why are all the crazy ones (females as well as males) always so good in bed? Is it some sort of evolutionary trick? I've noticed that the alcoholic, drug addicted, bi-polar nut cases were usually very attractive people (well, until their various addictions came to collect) and I'd have lots of chemistry with them. Electric! You go to bed with them, nearly die of what they do to you and THEN you find out that they are completely insane. Is that how insanity manages to pass along it's genes? Thru packaging and pheremones?
You have a thesis topic there, Bri.
Why are all the crazy ones (females as well as males) always so good in bed? Is it some sort of evolutionary trick? I've noticed that the alcoholic, drug addicted, bi-polar nut cases were usually very attractive people (well, until their various addictions came to collect) and I'd have lots of chemistry with them. Electric! You go to bed with them, nearly die of what they do to you and THEN you find out that they are completely insane. Is that how insanity manages to pass along it's genes? Thru packaging and pheremones?
[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]
Rick James
Superfreak
[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][FONT=verdana][SIZE=2]She's a very kinky girl
The kind you don't take home to mother
She will never let your spirits down
Once you get her off the street, ow girl
She likes the boys in the band
She says that I'm her all-time favorite
When I make my move to her room it's the right time
She's never hard to please
{Refrain}
That girl is pretty wild now
The girl's a super freak
The kind of girl you read about
In new-wave magazine
That girl is pretty kinky
The girl's a super freak
I really love to taste her
Every time we meet
She's all right, she's all right
That girl's all right with me, yeah
She's a super freak, super freak
She's super-freaky, yow
Super freak, super freak
She's a very special girl
The kind of girl you want to know
>From her head down to her toenails
Down to her feet, yeah
And she'll wait for me at backstage with her girlfriends
In a limousine
Going back in Chinatown
Three's not a crowd to her, she says
"Room 714, I'll be waiting"
When I get there she's got incense, wine and candles
It's such a freaky scene
{Refrain}
{Bridge}
Temptations sing!
Ohhhhh
Super freak, super freak
That girl's a super freak
Ohhhhh
She's a very kinky girl
The kind you don't take home to mother
She will never let your spirits down
Once you get her off the street, ow girl
Blow, Danny!
[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]The prosecution rests its case.
Why are all the crazy ones (females as well as males) always so good in bed? Is it some sort of evolutionary trick? I've noticed that the alcoholic, drug addicted, bi-polar nut cases were usually very attractive people (well, until their various addictions came to collect) and I'd have lots of chemistry with them. Electric! You go to bed with them, nearly die of what they do to you and THEN you find out that they are completely insane. Is that how insanity manages to pass along it's genes? Thru packaging and pheremones?
We cannot reveal our insanity right off the bat or we would never get any of the goods. What if you replaced them they those and crazy with genius(es) and brilliant. It's all about perspective. :eek:
oh it's all good. i don't feel any guilt or anything. if i fully disclosed upfront, in the middle, and from every other angle that i couldn't possibly pull off a real relationship.. and she still kept coming back... that is her issue then, not mine.
The words "I don't want to be in a relationship, but I'll be happy to continue to have sex" are to women like dog whistles are to humans.
We just don't hear them.
hmmm. not any of the women i used to see pre-enslavement.
so that must be the difference between women in a college town and women who reside in the real world.
Even they thought they could change your mind, they just didn't work as hard at it.
I had a couple of periods in my life where I was not interested in anything other than a good time..in bed and out. 'Tis funny, in my experience whenever I told a man I didn't want a relationship but just wanted to date and they should not expect exclusivity...they nearly always decided that a relationship was exactly what they DID want. Possessiveness? Jealousy? I don't know, but keeping them at arms length (omg do NOT say "I love you" to me) was difficult.
Aren't crazy people missing some of the more common inhibitions? Alcohol and drugs lessen them as well, giving freedom to be sexually adventurous in bed. Of course, the addictions can catch up to them and they lose the ability to perform at all. :(
The words "I don't want to be in a relationship, but I'll be happy to continue to have sex" are to women like dog whistles are to humans.
We just don't hear them.
Actually, the last relationship I was in, he said it. We drifted apart a couple of times, then he decided that he couldn't live without me and that I was what he really wanted. By that time, I was doubting.....now I am in a different state :D
Different state geographically or emotionally?
Aren't crazy people missing some of the more common inhibitions? Alcohol and drugs lessen them as well, giving freedom to be sexually adventurous in bed. Of course, the addictions can catch up to them and they lose the ability to perform at all. :(
:whip: I think you hit the nail on the head.
Different state geographically or emotionally?
Geographically - 8 hours away
no, not because of him
Don't we all, Brianna. It's been 9 months since I've had sex (at least, with a woman).
I WISH I WAS HAVING SEX!
Me, too. I need to get a local booty call
9 months also. I'm getting pretty cranky.
whew... ahhhh.....
Anybody got a cigarrette?
#1 Bruce, you fogot to bump THIS thread for Cloud.
#2 The bad news: I got my period today.
#3 The good news: I have at least a week to get recommendations for new babymaking positions. I should be ovulating over our anniversry when we're out of town on a family vacation. A little gift from the fertility fairy would make a great present.
OK Cellarites, hit me with your favorite positions. We'll evaluate, and I'll get back to you. The only rule is, it must be able to result in conception.
On your mark, get set, POST!!!
:D Screw, screw, screw until you can't screw no more.
OK Cellarites, hit me with your favorite positions. We'll evaluate, and I'll get back to you. The only rule is, it must be able to result in conception.
On your mark, get set, POST!!!
I like it when they come from behind and jab my prostate. But I don't think that's gonna help you. hehehe
:D Screw, screw, screw until you can't screw no more.
I'm not sure this is good advice in terms of conception.
You have to do it when the sperm is STRONG and the cycle is RIGHT!
. . . and under a full moon on the beach. :)
thusly my call for national amnesty on prostitution! hell! a little sex can cure alot of ills! (both male and female mind you!)
oops.. see below
From behind gets the deepest penetration, which is good for conception--but the position afterwards matters, too. Lay on your back with your legs up against the wall for a good 20-30 minutes. And for the record, you should be getting it on 1-2 days before ovulation.
well... baby making posts..or positions... geez.. all of them have worked for me.. (well.. societally speaking not so much) although from what I understand you want to get the sperm as close to the source (cervix) and adjoining parts as possible... so.. hmm... a larger/longer penis or turkey baster (although that seems like an awesome amount to fill... porn star I am not).. dunno... at this age I wish I had kept one child I had previously forfeited then again.. that is what regret is all about huh?
Well, seeing as I have no babies, I couldn't help you there. I agree with Clod, I think from behind would be a good bet, especially if you have your face against the bed with your behind in the air. Good luck!!!
Sadly, good ole missionary is the best position when TTC (to trying conceive). It drowns your cervix in the little swimmers...especially if you whack a pillow under your butt.
Your fertile period actually starts 4-5 days prior to ovulation and ends 24-48hrs after.
Pink making sperm swims slower and lives longer, so if you doing the deed 3-5days prior you may end up with a little girl.
On your parents bed.
Try to time it so that you climax just as the folks walk through the door.
Worked for so many teenagers.
Also, try pulling your knees toward your chest just before, during and after orgasm.
If that doesn't work, just fuck as much as you can.
If you don't get pregnant, at least you'll have a smile on your face and a wiggle in your walk.
I know other ways to put a wiggle in your walk, but they won't help you conceive.
I don't know about positions, but I do know that it is recommended that you orgasm right before he does, that way, the contractions help pull the sperm into the uterus. (don't ask how I know these things)
In a kind of backwards way, sometimes it seems the best way to get pregnant is by trying not to, but the above posters seem to know better than I. :p
After reading all 62 pages of the Sex Thread, I really really need a cookie . . . or maybe a new lung. I seem to have coughed up both of mine from laughing so hard.
In a kind of backwards way, sometimes it seems the best way to get pregnant is by trying not to, but the above posters seem to know better than I. :p
After reading all 62 pages of the Sex Thread, I really really need a cookie . . . or maybe a new lung. I seem to have coughed up both of mine from laughing so hard.
You darling girl. Welcome.
Is LadyM a reference to that most awesome of Ladies--Lady Marmalade?
Welcome to the Cellar, ladyM. :D
Knock off the laughing, this is a serious scientific examination of the subject, here.
Knock off the laughing, this is a serious scientific examination of the subject, here.
LadyM! LookOUT! This is a TRAP!
You darling girl. Welcome.
Is LadyM a reference to that most awesome of Ladies--Lady Marmalade?
Ah, no. The M stands for Melodrama! (and a variety of other pertinent adjectives).
Welcome to the Cellar, ladyM. :D
Knock off the laughing, this is a serious scientific examination of the subject, here.
Of course, of course. ;)
Sex is serious stuff.
Let me just stuff those lungs back in . . .
On your parents bed.
Try to time it so that you climax just as the folks walk through the door.
Worked for so many teenagers.
Man that was funny... hmmm... could be the booze. I'll check in tomorrow.
Just go and go and go from a couple days before ovulation until he just won't put out. This is one one of those beautiful moments, do whatever you want whenever you want as much as you want. For us it was sex in the snow on skis. When all the junk is nice and cool...
Oh the not trying thing is so true. This is an excerpt form the Sex Ed book we gave our kids (the one that got me into trouble with the school bus driver who reported me to the police.....)
Pay particular attention to step three. To see all possible positions, you need to buy the book.
Over here it's called Mommy laid an Egg. it's by Babette Cole and I wouldn't be surprised if the best pages were censored! :lol:
Man that was funny... hmmm... could be the booze. I'll check in tomorrow.
Thanks.
Why are all the crazy ones (females as well as males) always so good in bed? Is it some sort of evolutionary trick? I've noticed that the alcoholic, drug addicted, bi-polar nut cases were usually very attractive people (well, until their various addictions came to collect) and I'd have lots of chemistry with them. Electric! You go to bed with them, nearly die of what they do to you and THEN you find out that they are completely insane. Is that how insanity manages to pass along it's genes? Thru packaging and pheremones?
It's a key sub plot point in Larry Niven's Known Space series that crazy people (specifically schizophrenics) are sexy.
Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately my husband is having 'issues' with a disk in his back, so sex is one of the last things on his mind right now. I was able to convince him to get me doggie style one night on vacation, using a couch and a LOT of pillows so he basically just had to stand there. Frankly, it wasn't any fun, and his back still hurt later. Maybe next month. *sigh*
I had to re-read that second sentence.
Have you tried with you on top?
(Mental image forming...)
Sorry, I went to my happy place there for a sec.
It's ok, they know me there.
Anyway, cowgirl or reverse cowgirl might be the way to go, what with his wonky back.
Just a thought...
Great minds Ghost.
Was gonna suggest the same thing, you on top...not great for baby making unless you flip onto your back really unromantically after the gravy stroke.
Great minds Ghost.
Was gonna suggest the same thing, you on top...not great for baby making unless you flip onto your back really unromantically after the gravy stroke.
Hmm...
Me on top...
I like it, but...
Not sure Labrats hubby would care for that...
Not sure my missus would either...
Oh, wait...
That was to Labrat...
Sorry.
I now return you to your previously scheduled thread.
First let me say I am impressed with the longevity of this thread. Quite impressive. Second, I have been a lurker for a while and have finally decided to jump into the action.
So here is the deal:
The other night I was in my hotel room (travel quite a bit) and decided I was in the mood to rub one out. The only trouble is I just didn't want to be 100% solo. My wife was asleep back home and so I decided to try a chat room. Apparently, there are no women there at all or maybe they are just all ignoring the actual sex chat due to all of the freaks and geeks typing all sorts of lovely "any ladies want to cyber fuck me" written by the 14 year old boys. I did strike up a nice little conversation with one (what appeared to be) lady. I tried to push the conversation to the dirty side, but she kept bringing it back to a more friendly tone. SHE WAS IN A STINKING SEX CHAT ROOM! So, what am I missing here? I am a nice guy, attractive, and very comfortable with myself. It would seem that I could find someone out there who would like a little of the dirty talk to get me going. Surely, there are women out there on the net looking for the same thing. Finally I gave up and went to sleep. Frustration rears it ugly head.
Hi thenewguy, welcome! (ha! beat xobruce to it!)
Here's my q: why can't you call the wife and have mad phone sex? I mean, she was asleep, but you could have called to wake her, right? I'm not a wife NOW but I used to be one and I'd be ok with that...
otherwise--a chick in a sex chat room acting friendly makes me wonder if it wasn't a COP chick (or COP dude) in a chat room.
Thanks!
I would have called, but she is a BIG fan of her sleep. If I want something, it had better before or after her sleepy time. That and she tends to not be a fan of talking me through it. If I am there, she is hot and ready to go, but phone sex completely bores the hell out of her. Nothing like hearing her yawn to get me going. :right:
Good thing for me that she doesn't care if I use a little online assistance.
So you are saying that there really isn't a good possiblity of a "real, live girl" being online in one of those? Luckily, she didn't say anything about being underage. I would have bolted like I stole something. Underage is definitely not one of my things.
So you are saying that there really isn't a good possiblity of a "real, live girl" being online in one of those?
No, I feel confident that there ARE real, live women online (esp. in sex chat rooms!~) who want just what you want. I don't know why on earth someone would be in one if they didn't want to find some cyber love to hook up with for a minute or minutes or whatever...for me, though, the guy would have to be a bit more than, "hey--I got ten inches--what are you gonna do with it?" ya know? I consider cyber sex and phone sex a very two way street--UNLESS I'm on duty, if you get my drift. ;)
NewGuy - think about it. If a woman is really that horny, she can no doubt go out and find sex. Genuine women in those chatrooms will probably only indulge in some really filthy talk if you've been around for a while and they know you're not going to wig out on them.
I'm projecting here, and maybe inaccurately as I've never been in a sex chatroom, but I figure the male to female ratio for cyber sex is pretty well stacked in the woman's favour - hence the fact there is an industry that gets men to pay for it.
Hey, next time just call me on [deleted by moderater]
Hey, next time just call me on [deleted by moderater]
:lol: I LOVE it when Sundae let's her Wicked out!
I spelled moderator wrong :sniff:
I think phone sex is a better option in that case. The girls are "trained" professionals that have a lot of experience talking you through whatever your fantasy is. No obligations (other than the bill) no attachments, no emotional crap just hot talk.
You handle your problem, you getoff, she gtes paid, everyone (other than the wife when she finds the charge statement) is happy.
I have friends in that industry and can offer referrals if you want
Brian
NewGuy - next time you are toey, hit adultfriendfinder chat, there are always chicks giving it up and if you are into visual stimulation...thats the place to be (Warning: live webcams can be a tad scary ;)).
Now, for me, I have no probs with a bit of online action, but there still has to be a connection.
Thats the prob with *most* of us chickie babes that dont ask for your credit card number, we still like a bit of *foreplay* and for me thats a bit more than ..."I lick my way up your silky thighs"...or..."WANNA CYBER?"
:)
*muses*
I wonder if thenewguy has any idea of the cumulative experience he just heard from in the form of Sundae, BrianR and DuckNuts? It's like a Catholic getting a letter from the Pope.
And you, you hornbag!
Yes, when you think about it - I was a hostess, Brian was in porn, Ducks at least is experienced online (and I may be forgetting something) and YOU! Well, you've hinted, but we've certainly seen your ta-tas :) (was going to link but this is a newbie after all - make him work for it!)
First let me say I am impressed with the longevity of this thread. Quite impressive.
I wanted to emphasize this part of the post ^. :D
..."I lick my way up your silky thighs"...
You had me at "Hello".:sweat:
I am loving this site.
SG- you are right. Women hold all the cards. I am mid-30's, successful, good looking (at least that is what I tell myself), confident, AND I do enjoy foreplay. However, I know, without a doubt, that I will never have the upper hand when it comes to the fairer sex. Oh, and damn that "moderator."
Bri - you are right. I think I might add "advanced online sexual eductation" to my resume. Now, about these ta-tas...
Brian - I am a tightwad. Paying that phone bill would absolutely negate any pleasure I would have received from the call!
And while I am at it I just have to brag that I had the best night last night. Got home, ate dinner with the family, ran 2.2 miles, showered, put my son to bed, got my brains fucked out, then went to sleep. Now THAT is an awesome night!
Welcome newguy, glad to see someone is getting some...;)
--> drift <-- Runner you say? Please check out the sports thread, I've been trying to find a fellow runner forever...
LabRat, getting back to your original question I have noticed that many couples that are having a tough time concieving turn to adoption--AND then get pregnant. This leads me to conclude that it is to some degree, a matter of pressure. It is hard to not feel it when someone says don't feel it, but give it a try by just having sex for fun. Do some sexy stuff, play around, go for the wildest good time you can and make the aim to have the best sex you ever had, not to just concieve. Relax and enjoy, make it about the sex, the worst that can happen is you have some great sex.
Thanks lr. I like to see me getting some too.
--> drifting with you for a secondI checked it out and posted.
I have to agree with Bill on the sex/adoption thing. I have known several families that have had the same situation. We have both had a bio child and adopted. For us adoption wasn't due to the fact that we couldn't get pregnant. Just a choice. We went into pregnancy very casually. If it happened it happened. If not, oh well. There are so many great kids out there who need good, loving homes.
This may be a little too serious for the sex thread. From what I read on the first umpteen pages, this is more about the raw stuff.
:doit: :doit:
Here's some raw info then...
Went off the pill in Jan, but both Jan and Feb hubby pulled because he wasn't 110% positive he was ready yet. March, only had one chance that conception could have occured, then I was out of town for a week. April, his back was starting to bug him, and we again only had probably 2 times where conception was likely to have occured. May, only had sex once so far, and probably too early in my cycle. Now, it's probably too late. BUT ,his back is finally starting to feel better, so maybe June will be a lucky month.
Now the world knows how pathetic my sex life has been in '07.
I know there are a lot of people who have been really trying for a lot longer than me so I should shaddup, but dang-it, patience is not one of my virtues.
OK, you really have to up the getting laid to get knocked up. That average is really sad. He is going to let a little thing like a hurt back stop him? I have seen the pics (yeah I looked 'em up) and it would take a hell of a lot more than a sore back to stop me from being on you every night!
I just re-read some posts back and noticed something. So, Duck, licking up silky thighs is not foreplay? I may have to rethink some things. Maybe I should start out by lighting some candles.
All this time I thought getting my parts licked/sucked/touched/looked at was foreplay...(he wanders off dazed and confused)
:blush:
Score! I made LabRat blush!
Score! I made LabRat blush!
You are now a man.
I just re-read some posts back and noticed something. So, Duck, licking up silky thighs is not foreplay? I may have to rethink some things. Maybe I should start out by lighting some candles.
All this time I thought getting my parts licked/sucked/touched/looked at was foreplay...(he wanders off dazed and confused)
Oh no, its a very acceptable form of foreplay IN THE FLESH :cool: my point was, that if >I< was in a sex chat room (which never happens...nonononon :p ) and a random guy wanted to have wild freaky net love with me...it takes a bit of work to get my motor running..
[SIZE="1"]oh...never mind
[/SIZE]
*trying to remember who it was that was chatting to me last week and then got distracted by a sex chat room*
I'm pretty sure it was DUCKSNUTS!
From what I've heard, she's an expert at freaky internet love. :) Maybe you two could....
... oh never mind. :)
Gee, that's not nice ducksy...after all I've done for you.
That's the last time I give you a free playground!
What? No no. I have only been around a brief time, but I can already tell that Ducks is a pure as driven snow. ;)
well, i'll be in the QC in a month so I can chat with your hubby about options that won't bother the back. come on, be creative. experimentation makes the conception all that much more fun!
HI LOOKOUT! Good to see you here!
well, i'll be in the QC in a month so I can chat with your hubby about options that won't bother the back. come on, be creative. experimentation makes the conception all that much more fun!
Well if you are trying to conceive, I would rule out anal as part of the experiment. lol!!!
Sheldon! You're not around as much these days. Good to see you! :)
Well if you are trying to conceive, I would rule out anal as part of the experiment. lol!!!
Really? Then where are all these shithead assholes coming from anyway?
That reminds me. My son likes this show called, "The Goodnight Show." The former host got canned (this is a pun) for doing a comedic PSA on taking it anally only so she didn't get pregnant and mess up her future. Hilarious. The ironic part is that doing the skit actually messed up her future.
Really? Then where are all these shithead assholes coming from anyway?
:lol2: That's right up there with "buttfuck him in the mouth!"
newguy, I loved those clips she did.. there was a second one where her mother introduced her to a vibrator. I thought they were hilarious, and I thought PBS was being extra anal (pardon the pun) to get rid of her.
I haven't seen the vibrator one. Wouldn't happen to have a link would you?
Youtube has everything.
[youtube]fwpqJ_ntRSU[/youtube]
I have only been around a brief time, but I can already tell that Ducks is a pure as driven snow. ;)
Yes, but she drifted.
That reminds me. My son likes this show called, "The Goodnight Show." The former host got canned (this is a pun) for doing a comedic PSA on taking it anally only so she didn't get pregnant and mess up her future. Hilarious. The ironic part is that doing the skit actually messed up her future.
Remember
www.technicalvirgin.com?
What? No no. I have only been around a brief time, but I can already tell that Ducks is a pure as driven snow. ;)
I like you :o
[SIZE="2"][COLOR="Silver"]...but I'm easy, so that doesnt meant a lot [/COLOR][/SIZE];)
I like it when easy girls like me. So, to me, it means a lot.:D
WHAT is the point of this thread???
It's called the sex thread. Where people talk about shrimping boats and oreo cookies, of course.
Okay, I'm slowly reading my way through this thread, but I'm going to go ahead and talk about my issue. I apologize if the answer is already here.
Background: I'm with my first girlfriend, and she's also my first sexual partner (from first kiss to ...). We've been together for 4-5 months, things are still improving, so I really want to resolve this issue.
What's my issue? Oral sex. Cunnilingus. Occasionally, I've gotten this girl screaming and gnashing her teeth and grinding against my face until I'm in pain, but I still can't make her come (she's never had an orgasm with anyone). Most times she gets to what I'd guess is half-way there or a bit more. Sometimes she doesn't get much of anywhere, which bugs the crap out of me.
I guess I need tips... Warm oil massage really gets her going, but sometimes it's just not practical to get that messy, especially since I go down on her basically every time we have sex, which is usually 1-3 times per day (i think the most has been 6 or 7, but after 4 I really lose track).
Yeah, I've read that guide and a dozen others.
She's pretty self-conscious about her inability to come, so I try and do as much as I can to get her into the zone. It helps when there's nobody else in the house.
There's probably no strategy other than "keep trying." It just gets frustrating and I needed somewhere to vent...
Buy her this.
She's been planning on going to a toy store with her friend, but she still hasn't gone. I'm not sure if it'd be appreciated if I took the initiative there. I think she sees it as a very personal decision...
She's pretty self-conscious about her inability to come, so I try and do as much as I can to get her into the zone. It helps when there's nobody else in the house.
If she's self-concious, oral sex may not be the surest way to go at first. I mean, she'll enjoy it, but many women fundamentally feel weird having something done
to them rather than
with them, if that makes sense. She's more likely to be thinking about the fact that you're trying, which is going to make it more difficult.
As for surefire techniques, there are none. I've talked to women who went nuts for things that did nothing for me, or even felt downright uncomfortable.
Her being self conscious and aware that she hasnt come, will be what is holding her back from orgasm.
Does she cum from self pleasuring? Thats the key to her figuring out what she needs and where to concentrate to achieve the mighty goal.
Other than that, a few drinks to take the edge off and keep up the good work :)
two words. vigorous anal.
Does she cum from self pleasuring? Thats the key to her figuring out what she needs and where to concentrate to achieve the mighty goal.
I guess I wasn't clear, she hasn't had an orgasm. Ever. Period. She doesn't know what it feels like to come... It's definitely a big thing in her mind.
I have notice that the closer we've become the easier it is to get her into the "holy shit" realm of pleasure.
We'll figure it out, no worries.
One of my favorite things about sex, so far, is waking up all horned up and already grinding against each other (when it's cool we sleep naked and spooning). There's something about the lack of control when you're in that just becoming conscious fog that I love. It's almost solely physical reaction. When this happens we both think it's the other person that initiated the fuck.
two words. vigorous anal.
Anal doesn't hold much appeal for either of us... maybe we'll try it someday, who knows.
I'm thinking playing with a blindfold and perhaps a feather (or ice cubes) might be fun for our next experiment.
I have a friend who was in the same boat as your gf. She hadn't ever had an orgasm. My suggestion is she needs to play with herself, alone. Until she figures out what it is that does it for her, almost nothing you will do will take her there. YMMV, but in my experience most women have their first orgasm by themselves when they are just exploring their body.
I find that when I am stressed or worried about something it makes it exponentially harder to orgasm. If her inability to orgasm is a big deal then it will take a very long time for her to get there since she is constantly worrying about getting there, and not how good everything feels. How old is she?
Oh, and the reason I suggest she plays by herself is that it should remove the performance anxiety she is probably having. After all, if she tries and doesn't get there, no one has to know. I also suggest
one of these.
This one in particular looks good as it has a dial to control the speed. As long as she starts slow she should have fun. :)
PW, with the oral thing, make sure she knows how much you enjoy doing it with her. I know I have been self conscious about it in the past. Help her focus on herself and what she is feeling down there at the moment. It is easy to get distracted with thoughts like "do I smell/taste funny?" or "Is he getting annoyed at this, right now?"
I guess I wasn't clear, she hasn't had an orgasm. Ever. Period. She doesn't know what it feels like to come... It's definitely a big thing in her mind.
Oh yeah, then she definitely needs to spend a bit of time getting to know herself....for *most* women, its a focus thing (or lack there of?).
arse hole
That was directed at LJ too, I thought I posted it, but got distracted at work :)
arse hole
ballooooon knot!
It's pretty simple with men, but when a woman says she's never had an orgasm, with or without a partner, how does she know?
It's pretty simple with men, but when a woman says she's never had an orgasm, with or without a partner, how does she know?
That's the thing. She'll build up to the highest peak I've seen her at then wind down. Then she'll tell me to stop because things have become really sensitive. Sounds like an orgasm to me, but who am I to say.
Is she on any medications?
Good point re: meds. I was on an antidepressant for a short time and even though my doctor insisted that it could not affect my sex drive, it did. Not only that, but it decreased sensitivity to the point where climax was not possible. I stopped taking the meds (and going to that doctor), and it all went back to normal.
Things get better with age. I'm 31 now and am starting to notice a huge increase in drive and pleasure.
The lover makes all the difference in the world, though it's not always for lack of trying that some are not as successful.
I cannot orgasm during cunnilingus. I used to, before I gave birth. But since then, lo those 8 + years ago, I think I've come maybe twice that way. I don't think I have any hang-ups that would be preventing an orgasm. It's a mystery.
My emotional state greatly affects my ability to orgasm. Can't help it, I'm a chick, gotta have that emotional connection... unless it's the rare occasion it's PURE lust.
I don't think anyone could not know if they have an orgasm. You pretty much know. Maybe she's just one of those women who can't orgasm. It happens. Not that I'm suggesting you give up.
I've heard of sex counselors helping people.
I don't think anyone could not know if they have an orgasm. You pretty much know.
How about if your perception of what it should be is skewed? Descriptions from peers and romance novels can be misleading.
Probably the best bet is not to worry, enjoy, and do it till ya can't or don't wanna anymore.
How about if your perception of what it should be is skewed?
I thought of that - that's why my response was somewhat noncommittal. I'm just saying that sex can be immensely pleasurable and not produce orgasm, but I think that most people know, if instinctively, that they have experienced an orgasm. There are always exceptions.
[SIZE="1"]That being said, I'm suddenly having a very difficult time concentrating on work right now... [/SIZE]
Is she on any medications?
Birth control pills. Can't recall the flavor at the moment.
Probably the best bet is not to worry, enjoy, and do it till ya can't or don't wanna anymore.
That's my plan. I need to figure out how to mitigate the neck cramps though...
Birth control pills. Can't recall the flavor at the moment.
Popped Cherry?
"Cherry Pop"
Tee hee :D (nice to see ya here, Deuce!)
That's the thing. She'll build up to the highest peak I've seen her at then wind down. Then she'll tell me to stop because things have become really sensitive. Sounds like an orgasm to me, but who am I to say.
Some orgasms are all big and explosive, and some are almost a let-down after the big build-up, but I'm just as sensitive afterwards either way. You don't have to stop caressing her, just leave the clitoris alone for a few (three?) minutes, and then gently give it another go (if you're up for it) ...
That's the thing. She'll build up to the highest peak I've seen her at then wind down. Then she'll tell me to stop because things have become really sensitive. Sounds like an orgasm to me, but who am I to say.
Hmmm, it does sound like an orgasm....I'm tipping, she's coming and its getting a bit lost in the after effects, because youre still down there. Then the sensitivity kicks in.
I've had that happen with newish partners.
That's my plan. I need to figure out how to mitigate the neck cramps though...
If it hurts, you're doing it wrong. Use pillows and props, get creative with the furniture, so you are both comfortable and relaxed. Work this out together, it's a team sport.
One piece of advice: do NOT act like you're trying to ERASE the damn thing. :thepain:
One piece of advice: do NOT act like you're trying to ERASE the damn thing. :thepain:
LOL!!!!!!
Now on with it folks............I've got some learning to do here.:corn:
It seems to be a difficult point to get across. Now, let's all say it together...
(Believe me, we'll ALL be much happier.) ;)
I didn't know those things were "smudge-proof" Shawnee......LOL! Why do people keep trying then?
Slow and steady wins the race!
There are different types of orgasms. The one from clitoral stimulation is different from a g-spot orgasm or vaginal, and all of those are different from the kind I have when I'm on top. I can have two different kinds of clitoral orgasm, one vaginal and one clitoral (and can have them simultaneously, when I'm lucky). I did not have (and had never had) any orgasms for many years, although sex was enjoyable. The turning point was when I started buying toys (I'd stayed away because so many people said it ruined sex with a partner). I found out that what turns me on is not in/out motion, but circular. I discovered that the left side of my clitoris is more sensitive than the right. And I overcame my self-conciousness at letting go enough to tip 'over the edge'. I've also found that the more I self-stimulate, the easier it is to orgasm with a partner. If I go a long time without taking care of myself, it becomes nearly impossible with a partner. The partner makes a huge difference too, as well as my emotional connection to him.
Sorry if this is too much information :o .
I am not able to have flings since I was past 23 years of age. Of course sex only gets better the older you get so my emotions tend to get wrapped up in sex. I know it's cliche`to get love mixed up with sex but for me if I am in love or love I can get so involved mind,body and soul. Sex without a mutual emotional connection is rote and although I can do it I would rather not.
My last relationship was like that.
( side note)
I thought we would make better friends but he insisted he cared more than he did and how could I tell it wasn't so? It was in his kiss. ya baby
Is it the way he walks? No! That's not the way, and you're not listenin' to what I say! If you wanna know...
exactly
[COLOR="Pink"]Oh, oh, oh, honey !
Squeeze him tight!
Find out what you wanna know!
promise love, and if it really is,
It's there in his kiss![/COLOR]
I just wanted to pop in and let everyone know that I am no longer qualified to be involved with this thread.
I hope your happy!!!!
Oh my god, you lost your vagina?!
[size=1]Did you check the lost and found?[/size]
No Clod. I lost your vagina.
Sorry.
:)
What exactly un-qualifies you?
er . . . what's the question?
How can you be unqualified for sex? Unless you're underage of course, and I'm pretty sure that even though some of us may sometimes wish it, that means that once you're qualified, there's no going back.
Now that I think about it...I'm going to disqualify others while I'm here.........
Oooh. Pure evil.
:)
Are you disqualified coz you aint gettin' none?
Previous problems are more than resolved.
We're planning on bringing a blind-fold into play when we are on holiday break. I'm just not sure what the hell to do. What kind of different things can I do? I mean, the "bad place" is off limits (or was, the last time I checked) -- not that I'm that interested in that. She bought a vibrator back in August and still hasn't used it, and has vetoed any other sorts of toys.
The best idea I have is a feather. Even then I'm not sure.
The best idea I have is a feather.
Just stay away from the chicken!
Honey, chocolate syrup, ice cream.
using a feather is erotic. using the whole chicken? now that's just plain kinky.
If using chocolate syrup, don't use too much. Friend of mine made that mistake, used half a bottle, and was feeling decidedly nauseous before he was halfway done licking it all off.
Session was not highly successful.
Previous problems are more than resolved.
We're planning on bringing a blind-fold into play when we are on holiday break. I'm just not sure what the hell to do. What kind of different things can I do? I mean, the "bad place" is off limits (or was, the last time I checked) -- not that I'm that interested in that. She bought a vibrator back in August and still hasn't used it, and has vetoed any other sorts of toys.
The best idea I have is a feather. Even then I'm not sure.
Hot wax is awesome. But you have to be into that kind of thing. It really is fun once you get going.
Chocolate syrup can be bad... my experience with it wasn't as fun as I had hoped. He massaged it all over my body, and licked it off intermittently. However, once all was said and done the chocolate had dried and I was stuck to the towel we had laid down! It hurt like a bitch to take it off too... not fun. So I would suggest using it in small areas, and licking it off fairly quickly. Don't want her sticking to anything... it kinda ruined the whole food thing for me. But good luck! :D
Edit: And be careful with honey... I have heard horror stories of people using it to spice up oral sex, but then when they got to the real sex there was still too much there and they stuck together! And they said it was painful to pull apart. Definitely a mood ruiner. ;)
We tried whipped cream once. It wasn't a disaster per se, but it wasn't exactly a turn on for either of us. Combining the fact that we're health concious with the fact that we're far from serious people puts a damper on the sexuality of junk food.
It might help to use whipped cream that doesn't taste like shit. We used Marks & Spencer Slightly Sweetened Whipped Cream (UHT), and it's the worst shit on the planet.
And be careful with honey...
Seconded. Whatever you do, do NOT heat the honey. It turns out honey retains heat for a lot longer than you think it would...
Feathers and toys are fun, but they are not panaceas. Your frustration at not being able to make her come, Perry Winkle, is coming through, and I'm sure it is to her, too.
It's understandable. Unfortunately, for women who have difficulty coming, myself included, it creates an enormous amount of pressure, and guilt, which makes things worse. Women are just wired different, and have different priorities in sex.
Take the focus off her orgasm for a while. Maybe take it off cunnilingus for a while. Concentrate on sensual touching, kissing, and fondling, without expecting her to come. Tell her to relax, and not worry about it, to just enjoy the sensations. Don't get too fancy with the feathers and stuff. Use the toys, but only one or two at a time, in a playful, fun way. Play Blind Man's Bluff in the nude.
Encourage her to touch herself in front of you (and you might reciprocate here); also encourage her to experiment with the vibrator on her own. (Most women need no encouragement in this area! but I guess for someone who's never experienced orgasm at all, she might.)
And buy yourself a copy of "Guide to Getting it On"
Should have kept it smaller and quieter. How many people can play Naked Twister at the same time, anyway?
wait. . . don't answer that!
Should have kept it smaller and quieter. How many people can play Naked Twister at the same time, anyway?
wait. . . don't answer that!
The most we have ever played is six... wait, I forgot you didn't want me to tell you that.:D
Your frustration at not being able to make her come, Perry Winkle, is coming through, and I'm sure it is to her, too.
I forgot to mention this. We've resolved that problem. The first week of September, she started having orgasms, and had actually been having them for a while but wasn't sure that's what it was. It was a great relief. Now she has orgasms every time I go down on her. Sometimes they are earth-shattering, sometimes not -- but it's always good. She used to be very quiet, now she shatters glass with the noise she makes.
The last week or so, we've finally got the intercourse end of things to the point where she's getting close to coming that way. A little more practice. . .
How many people can play Naked Twister at the same time, anyway?
The only bad thing about playing naked twister is when your face is stuck in someone else's arsehole.
...Unless you're into that kind of thing...
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I forgot to mention this. We've resolved that problem. The first week of September, she started having orgasms, and had actually been having them for a while but wasn't sure that's what it was. It was a great relief. Now she has orgasms every time I go down on her. Sometimes they are earth-shattering, sometimes not -- but it's always good. She used to be very quiet, now she shatters glass with the noise she makes.
The last week or so, we've finally got the intercourse end of things to the point where she's getting close to coming that way. A little more practice. . .
I have found that once my wife, many years ago, learned to be more vocal during sex and her orgasms, it was then that she became more orgasmic and is now multiorgasmic.
Just to say Perry - I'm glad it's all worked out for you.
But the best thing about it, is that you have a very honest relationship and you don't have to worry about communication. And trust me, if you stay with her the honest communication will be more value than orgasms as the years progress.
Orgasms from cunnilingus are life changing anyway - even if it doesn't work she will remember you in old age just for that ;)
my son's 4th birthday is two days away. afternoon naps grow more and more scarce. this makes me grumpy because our prime time for sex has been for the 1-2 hour naptime. nighttime is mainly for quickies due to the drooping eyelids. this knowledge makes me even more grumpy.
my assistant actually commented the other day that i seem to be taking long lunches more often these days. trying to get while the gettin's good.
It's okay lookout school days are only a year away!!
yep. that was 2.5 years ago.
So what's your excuse now?? :angel:
Is it just me, or doe anyone else think that hotel sex is the best? I have been with my husband for 15 yrs, but its just something about being in a hotel that just sets us off...
i think you just like people watching you on the concierge desk.
Is it just me, or doe anyone else think that hotel sex is the best? I have been with my husband for 15 yrs, but its just something about being in a hotel that just sets us off...
Do you ever travel together?
coffee burns the nostrils dick.
Do you ever travel together?
Of course not!!!:headshake
i think you just like people watching you on the concierge desk.
true
I know what you mean binky, even if these other dumbo's just want to make fun of you. ;)
I think it's knowing you don't have to do any of the tidying up afterwards, and you can order room service if you want etc. Sex at home becomes a bit mundane after a while.
I think they are making fun because every place is the same when you are asleep and snoring in 10 minutes anyway:p
11minutes thank you very much. need time to shower and brush my teeth.
wait...the shower etc must take 10 minutes, so....
I got some booty, I got some booty. Just thought I'd share :jig:
That's funny--less than an hour ago, I purchased some
booty myself.
That would have made a great SS gift Clod... :lol:
I wanted to try that, but couldn't find it when I went to TJ's
Hmm... the website indicates they don't sell anywhere in North Carolina yet, but they also act like they don't have any in Austin either, which is obviously a lie. You can buy it online, but it does have to be in bulk. :( I highly recommend the
caramel flavor, plus
Veggie Booty, while rather bland to me, is very kid-friendly if you have any that need their vegetables snuck into their diet.
Two of the people I work with made this for women. Pretty good results so far from what they say. They made it from some pretty solid research and a need to fill a void for something for womens libido.
http://www.enjoyn.com/If I made my wife any hornier, men and women everywhere would quickly tire. :)
If I made my wife any hornier, men and women everywhere would quickly tire. :)
Come on sode. It might be fun! :D
Is it just me, or doe anyone else think that hotel sex is the best? I have been with my husband for 15 yrs, but its just something about being in a hotel that just sets us off...
Hotels are some of the best especially if you have a working balcony :D
outdoor glass elevators.
Been there, done that, got kicked out.
Still worth it.
Sex? What's that?? -sighs- I miss it :(
You've got a 10 month old daughter, you've had it more recently than me.
[COLOR="White"]And Ibram... but for very different reasons[/COLOR]
SG: I can't possibly believe you haven't gotten any because you can't get it. You're just behaving yourself too much.
Yeah, SG. Stop being such a goody two shoes. :D
Yeah, SG. Stop being such a goody-two-shoes-together. :D
Details, Els, details.
I want sex! but I'd have to be more drunk than I am. Oh well, tonight i'll behave.
Sex... Sex? Ohhh... I remember now! :thumb:
I'm BACK IN THE GAME, ladies and gents!! and oh my fucking GOD... Friend of a friend, offered me a couch to crash on while I was in his area following up a job lead... one thing led to another, and needless to say I didn't sleep on the sofa that night. Went home as planned... two days later was back. For a week. Heading back up there tomorrow morning AGAIN... for a week. Did I mention this guy lives four hours away? Oh... and he's forty. I LOVE guys around that age... emotional maturity (for the most part) and secure enough in themselves for casual sex to be just that :D And let me tell you. This man KNOWS what he's doing. Teeth, nails, tongue, fingers, whatever.... -is now in sexual heaven-
Congrats! you deserve it! :D
Wheee! Thanks, Merc! -hugs n kisses ALL AROUND- (gotta share the wealth)
Hey, I got some Thursday afternoon. Yeah, afternoon! How's that for wild? In the actual afternoon and standing UP?
I'm gettin' my groove back, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gettin' it back. :)
You are hereby expelled from the American Krone Society, you impostor.:p
Pictures, we want pictures.
I'm gettin' it in back. :)
Fixed it for you.
Who's the lucky gentleman?
Who's the lucky gentleman?
A steelworker I conjured up years ago when I worked at the Mill. He used to come in to the clinic on weekends and we'd do it in the darkroom. And on my office chair. ah, good times....he comes by to visit me now and then. Very civilized. No muss, no fuss and no one is the wiser.
A steelworker I conjured up years ago when I worked at the Mill. He used to come in to the clinic on weekends and we'd do it in the darkroom. And on my office chair. ah, good times....he comes by to visit me now and then. Very civilized. No muss, no fuss and no one is the wiser.
Unless they read the Cellar.
In which case, m'dear, you'd be thoroughly fucked in the BAD way...
lol...I'm just laughin' because I smell the stench of married...lol! Carry on.
I need some of Bri's and Trea's good luck, like right now.
-rubs all over MTP- There... hopefully some of my luck will rub off on you :D
-rubs all over MTP- There... hopefully some of my luck will rub off on you :D
Where did you rub her?
;) didn't you see the "ALL OVER"?
Whew... Now I can scrawl one more scratch mark onto the wall next to that other one. ;)
;) didn't you see the "ALL OVER"?
Yeah, "all over".. what part of "all over don't you understand? You want her to draw you a map or... umm.... on second thought.....
-draws a map... x marks the spot!-
I thought "wet" marked the spot?
Speaking of wet... housemate's gone for the weekend and I'm lonely... and horny... and I need a buddy for the weekend! :(
You single people are so demanding.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And I am completely jealous. ;)
-grins- Housemate returns Sunday evening... just in time for bed!!
Hump Day isn't till tomorrow.
Just because it isn't OFFICIALLY Hump Day, doesn't mean there can't be humping!
When your partner's been away, any day they return is hump day.
Exactly. And today IS Hump Day. So there will be more humping. Any of you girls have advice on sex in a hot tub? That seems to be our biggest issue right now :-(
Best advice is don't. Second best is go with a silicon based lube.
Hmmm. Well, sex in a hot tub is better than sex on a beach any day... Sand is NASTY!!!
organic microdermabrasion
The problem with the technique is that the endorphins prevent the pain impulses from signaling that there is a problem developing, by the time synaptic completion is accomplished the damage is done.
Well, once again I'm home alone for the weekend... after a round of HOT steamy sex last night, the housemate is off to his mother's for the weekend for her birthday. I gotta say... he may be more than a little older than me (there's a 15-year span between our ages), but there is DEFINITELY something to be said for experience. The QUANTITY may not be the best I've ever had, but believe you me, the QUALITY sure as hell IS!
Honestly, personal preference, I LIKE gentlemen (and ladies) in that age range. Most of the drama and bullshit is over and done with (understand, I'm generalizing), and they've got their heads on pretty straight. That, plus I've NEVER really been able to get along with people in my age demographic. -shrugs-
The problem with the technique is that the endorphins prevent the pain impulses from signaling that there is a problem developing, by the time synaptic completion is accomplished the damage is done.
= [SIZE="7"][COLOR="Red"]OUCH![/COLOR][/SIZE]
i have a porno where thre guys are banging the shoes off this honey in the surf. i mean it's a 20 minute session and they are covered in sand and surf and it everywhere. it's almost a turnoff because i can just imagine the chafing. almost. she's pretty hot though.
gah, why don't they save on production costs (it IS a porno after all) and just wrap the guys' cocks with sandpaper?
Oh, and HM (housemate) gets home this afternoon... so we'll be going to fencing practice. Then fucking like rabbits. I love coming-home-haven't-seen-each-other-for-several-days sex.
i have a porno where thre guys are banging the shoes off this honey in the surf. i mean it's a 20 minute session and they are covered in sand and surf and it everywhere. it's almost a turnoff because i can just imagine the chafing. almost. she's pretty hot though.
Post some stills.
-finally comes up for air- Damn I love my sex life right now. Oh, and I'm willing to share with the right lady!
I'm tired of hearing about sex! There's only one person who's been able to make me all hot lately, and I can't have him. Whenever I'm starting to get into someone else, I think about him and that ruins it. Seriously starting to annoy me.
That happens to me all the time mtp! That person is my husband tho'. He showed up to my work the other day, and there were a lot of hot guys around. He was the hottest guy there tho'. Ass.
I was dreaming about sex with someone else, and he even showed up in the dream, to say, oh hai. Ruined it.
Ruiner. :)
organic microdermabrasion
Hey. You don't know how big my wang is, so how can you say its *micro*dermabrasion.
The very nerve of ya.
I'm tired of hearing about sex! There's only one person who's been able to make me all hot lately, and I can't have him. Whenever I'm starting to get into someone else, I think about him and that ruins it. Seriously starting to annoy me.
John McCain?
Great HLJ, you have made it impossible for me to have sex or even masturbate ever again.
So mtp your not in to necrophilia I take it.
Necrophilia: lay back and crack open a cold one!
What did the prostitute say to the leper?
Keep the tip.
"Mommy, Mommy, what's a nymphomaniac??"
"Shut up and help me get your grandmother off the doorknob."
In other news...
:D
:cool:
;)
Just a random question:
Would you rather have sex with someone who you are extremely attracted to but who isn't very good at sex; or would you prefer someone you are not attracted to but who is a sex master?
This dilemma crops up from time to time for me.
My usual choice is the one I'm attracted too since either way, cum will be drawn.
If I'm not attracted then the sex will not likely seem masterful to me. I'd be doing that "looks at nails and sighs" thing while he's doing whatever acrobatics and tricks he uses that makes others or himself think he's a master.
If I'm attracted to someone...a sweet kiss will send me over the edge.
I think. It's been a long long time. ;)
either way, cum will be drawn.
there's your new user title
or....
Just a random question:
Would you rather have sex with someone who you are extremely attracted to but who isn't very good at sex; or would you prefer someone you are not attracted to but who is a sex master?
It seems to me that situation A) can be fixed much more easily than B).
Would you rather have sex with someone who you are extremely attracted to but who isn't very good at sex; or would you prefer someone you are not attracted to but who is a sex master?
If I'm attracted to someone...a sweet kiss will send me over the edge.
I think. It's been a long long time. ;)
Same here. On both counts!
But... Depends whether you mean emotionally or physically.
I was completely smitten with a very bad man. I thought sex with him was the absolute pinnacle of great sex. I believed I loved him and he used that knowledge to keep me on a string.
I had a far more honest relationship with a man who I held at arm's length - as he did me - emotionally. But the sex was GREAT! We were equal partners and he treated me wonderfully in bed, as I did him.
"Skill" in matters sexual is a pretty cold thing without passion. But passion can be manipulated by people to selfish ends.
But then I have no recent expertise to draw on. Right now, if I got a good snog I'd probably pass out from the blood rush to my nether regions.
My answer? Neither. I've had both - total waste of time.
The attraction has to be there first and foremost...without it, there is little desire.
@shawnee...Oh Man! Do I miss that feeling when a kiss sends you over the edge. Its been a while for me too, but I remember some doozies.
...I had a far more honest relationship with a man who I held at arm's length - as he did me...
Wow!! He must have been HUGE!!! hehehe
I'm tired of hearing about sex! There's only one person who's been able to make me all hot lately, and I can't have him. Whenever I'm starting to get into someone else, I think about him and that ruins it. Seriously starting to annoy me.
John McCain?
Great HLJ, you have made it impossible for me to have sex or even masturbate ever again.
John McCain? Are you nuts? Everyone knows that
Dick Cheney is the sexiest man alive!
If you don't agree, he'll shoot you in the face.
Of course if you do agree, he'd probably butkake you in the face. :blush:
If you don't agree, he'll shoot you in the face.
Of course if you do agree, he'd probably butkake you in the face. :blush:
I'd like some pictures please. :D
Is anyone in the Cellar into "alternate" lifestyles? Anyone at all? I would really like someone to compare notes with...
If you are talking about alternate universes, I think I am victim to it everyday. What is your question?
Well, see, I'm polyamorous and into the BDSM lifestyle as a switch and bottom... but new to both. Was wondering if anyone here had been into either lifestyle and had experience, for questions/answers, sounding board, along those lines...
Elspode is currently living in a poly marriage. He's got a few threads dedicated to it, but I don't know where they are at the moment.
If you don't agree, he'll shoot you in the face.
Of course if you do agree, he'd probably butkake you in the face. :blush:
Plagiarist! (did you follow the link?)
"and late at night, we'll go back to my place,
where he can tap my phone and shoot me in the face,
he's always going off half-cocked, that's why,
I got to say ... Cheney ... ain't he ...
beautiful and brainy
second only to Saddam Husseiney
the sexiest man
Ohhhhh mmannnnnn aliiiiveeeeee....."
you have made it impossible for me to have sex or even masturbate ever again.
Just think how much time you'll have for studying.
I thought so (re: Els) but didn't want to jump to any conclusions or assume anything.
Well, see, I'm polyamorous and into the BDSM lifestyle as a switch and bottom... but new to both. Was wondering if anyone here had been into either lifestyle and had experience, for questions/answers, sounding board, along those lines...
There's
this one...
Plagiarist! (did you follow the link?)
No, but it's hardly a stretch.
Thank you, HLJ :) Good to have that earmarked.
Well, see, I'm polyamorous and into the BDSM lifestyle as a switch and bottom... but new to both. Was wondering if anyone here had been into either lifestyle and had experience, for questions/answers, sounding board, along those lines...
Why not put up a new thread with the underlined as a title and see what you get? You may be surprised (though not by me :o ) ;) .
I completely forgot about this thread.
I don't have anything related to say, though.
Those who cannot do, post. :lol:
hehehe.. she said "post."[/butthead]
First: I did not know we had a Sex Thread.
Second: How in the hell does a sex thread go almost two years without a post?
[SIZE="1"]Heheh--I said post.[/SIZE]
How in the hell does a sex thread go almost two years without a post?
I've been busy with other things.
How in the hell did I not know about this thread...
How in the hell did I not know about this thread...
You're welcome!!
How in the hell did I not know about this thread...
Now you have to go back and read it from the beginning, like I did two years ago.
from here:
oh, also—iPhone users have more sex.
File this under "icebreakers, MacWorld '11". Finally, statistical proof that iPhone users aren't just getting fucked by Apple: [see below]
The chart pretty much speaks for itself; I'll just say that the numbers for all three brands are for 30 year-olds, so it's not a matter of older, more experienced people preferring one phone to another. We found this data as part of our general camera-efficacy analysis: we crossed all kinds of user behaviors with the camera models and found we had data on the number of sexual partners for 9,785 people with smart phones. We dropped what we found into Excel, and voila. Here's the plot by age:[see further below]
Just so you know, the names and the actual photos are removed when we do this kind of research; we just see the stats in aggregate. Everything is anonymized. Now let's leave brands and gadgets aside and look at how purely photographic phenomena can affect your precious face.
I have a Blackberry 8310 which has smooth curves and a very effective silent alert mode... wait. That didn't come out right.
I have dated a number of women lately and all of them have phones, some smarter than others. Most recently my Blackberry got plugged into the lady's Android. It's a very good fit. I'm trying to think of which of them had iPhones, and two come to mind. The dates were pleasant enough, but they're incrementing their statistics on someone else's motile plan, not mine. Verrrry sexy women though. For sure.
More to come later. ;)
Big V, you are dating?
That depends, Spexxie... are you asking me out?
That depends, Spexxie... are you asking me out?
Candle light dinner, a little wine, maybe see La Cage or Village People .... nothing special.
It's a date!
Actually, I haven't had any actual candlelit dinners yet. There have been dinners, and then candles later. But that's another post in this thread altogether.
That explains why my Blackberry caught a virus.
Har, har, har.
Actually I don't know that it's a virus, it's just broken. AT&T is sending me a new one and I hope it gets here real soon.
Hey, sweet! According to that chart, I should own an iPhone. So who's gonna buy me one?
I knew I picked the wrong phone. Dangit!
So,
if you'll recall, I was relating what we'll refer to as The Re-awakening of Gravdigr...
On the night in question (Oh What a Night), during the preliminaries, I was, shall we say, having an intense and deeply stimulating conversation with 'a little man in a boat'. This was
not a short chat folks. I'd been wanting to have this particular conversation for like twelve-fifteen
YEARS. Anyway, during the conversation, whenever she 'neared the top of the mountain', I would not let her actually
reach the top of said mountain. I would stop 'talking', and go back to the
slooooow circular rub. I lost count how many times this happened. When, finally, I let her get to the mountaintop (I call this "Mountaintop Removal Mining") she says "Oh, he's not gonna stop!!" [SIZE="1"]I liked that.[/SIZE]
[COLOR="Magenta"]Now, I told you
that, to tell you
this:[/COLOR]
Last night, she stops in for a visit. After we sent mom-and-popdigr to their room, she climbs onto my lap and proceeds to give me the mother of all lapdances. People, I have
never been this turned on when everyone involved had their clothes on. What was, at first, unconcealable stirrings, soon turned into a fully engorged, blue-veined throbber. I'm wearing thin cotton shorts, so there's no hiding
anything. She reaches up the leg of my shorts, takes matters into hand and says "Looks like
you're ready!"
And then she left.
:banghead:
You write sexy very well Gravedigr..;)
Looks like she intends to make your mountain climb more of an expedition...
This is actually against the rules and regulations.
Womenfolk don't understand because their sexual response is different. But the law is, if you touch it, you have to finish it.
What she doesn't realize, digr, is that five seconds after the door shut, you were in your bedroom beating your dick like it owed you money.* And twenty seconds after that, the entire encounter was over and you were thinking, not about her, but about whether there's any milk left in the fridge. That's what we are as guys and I'm not sure the females of our species fully understand this.
[size=1]*I believe this line was originally written by Paul Mooney, used on The Dave Chappelle Show and was subsequently stolen by Carlos Mencia.[/size]
It can't work that way 100% of the time, though, or else you wouldn't need us in the first place.
I think its Tastycakes - yeh he was more likely thinkin of them.
It can't work that way 100% of the time, though, or else you wouldn't need us in the first place.
We don't need you in the first place, we need you in the
special place.
She thinks she's created a situation where he wants her more because she left him hanging, because that's how it works for her. How it works for guys is, once a guy gets aroused, he is going to finish somewhere* - it's so biologically driven that for many guys it's practically painful not to. And then move on to the next thing. That's just what we do, that's our programming.
[size=1]* He would want her more if it was on her stomach, but this time it was on a dirty sock next to the bed.[/size]
If you want to be wanted, this is the only time in your live when you get the opportunity, you should blow it.;)
Looks like she intends to make your mountain climb more of an expedition...
I'm actually kinda cool with that. Till I explode.
This is actually against the rules and regulations.
I think they may play by different rules.
But the law is, if you touch it, you have to finish it.
No, no. It's
supposed to be "If
I get to touch it,
I get to finish it."
What she doesn't realize, digr, is that five seconds after the door shut, you were in your bedroom beating your dick like it owed you money.
Actually, in the condition I was in, it would've been more of a 'hands-free' situation. And, instead of a beating, a mild threat would've worked nicely.
And I wouldn't loan money to my dick.
And twenty seconds after that, the entire encounter was over and you were thinking, not about her, but about whether there's any milk left in the fridge.
I've not stopped thinking about her since the first inkling this might happen.
She thinks she's created a situation where he wants her more because she left him hanging, because that's how it works for her.
Oh, it's workin' on me, brother, it's workin'!
[size=1]* He would want her more if it was on her stomach, but this time it was on a dirty sock next to the bed.[/size]
I would
hate to know what it feels like to want her more.
You write sexy very well Gravedigr..;)
I wonder if there would be any interest in this sort of thing in the Creative Expression thread? Fiction, of course. [COLOR="LemonChiffon"]Or non.[/COLOR]
I've written a (non-sexy) short story or two.
I wonder if there would be any interest in this sort of thing in the Creative Expression thread? Fiction, of course. [COLOR=LemonChiffon]Or non.[/COLOR]
I've written a (non-sexy) short story or two.
I'm sure a number of dwellars would appreciate a photo essay at any rate.
A lap dance to a man, may be just snuggling to a woman.
A lap dance to a man, may be just snuggling to a woman.
There's a Neil Armstrong joke in there somewhere...
And I wouldn't loan money to my dick.
That's probably wise. Next thing you know you would have a pimp in pink glasses hangin out in your driveway.
I'm sure a number of dwellars would appreciate a photo essay at any rate.
Oh, there are pictures, my friend.:3eye:
[size=1]* He would want her more if it was on her stomach, but this time it was on a dirty sock next to the bed.[/size]
Stay outta my room.
Imagine this:
For whatever reason, the sun goes supernova. At the exact same moment, the LHC malunctions in a big way, and produces a 'big bang' with the energy of a billion suns. This massive and cataclysmic explosion engulfs the earth in a microsecond, causing all the nucyuler weapons to detonate at the same moment that all the nucyuler power plants go all Chernobyl on your ass, resulting in a magnetic influx resonant frequency modulation, causing the total explosive power to increase a bilion billion times. The resulting explosion is so powerful and massive it destroys the universe, a cataclysm so immense in scale, that an entirely new universe is created in the next millisecond.
All that was an infinitesimal spark, compared to the shit that went on at her place last night.
How's things in the clean world?
[COLOR="Silver"]Heheh, check out the time of post for the last two posts. Kinda freaky.[/COLOR]
Imagine this:
For whatever reason, the sun goes supernova. At the exact same moment, the LHC malunctions in a big way, and produces a 'big bang' with the energy of a billion suns. This massive and cataclysmic explosion engulfs the earth in a microsecond, causing all the nucyuler weapons to detonate at the same moment that all the nucyuler power plants go all Chernobyl on your ass, resulting in a magnetic influx resonant frequency modulation, causing the total explosive power to increase a bilion billion times. The resulting explosion is so powerful and massive it destroys the universe, a cataclysm so immense in scale, that an entirely new universe is created in the next millisecond.
All that was an infinitesimal spark, compared to the shit that went on at her place last night.
How's things in the clean world?
Hey man and I'm happy if the Earth just moves, y'know?
Imagine this:
For whatever reason, the sun goes supernova. At the exact same moment, the LHC malunctions in a big way, and produces a 'big bang' with the energy of a billion suns. This massive and cataclysmic explosion engulfs the earth in a microsecond, causing all the nucyuler weapons to detonate at the same moment that all the nucyuler power plants go all Chernobyl on your ass, resulting in a magnetic influx resonant frequency modulation, causing the total explosive power to increase a bilion billion times. The resulting explosion is so powerful and massive it destroys the universe, a cataclysm so immense in scale, that an entirely new universe is created in the next millisecond.
All that was an infinitesimal spark, compared to the shit that went on at her place last night.
How's things in the clean world?
After the explosion, where did your dick land?:p::D
It was atomized. You get a little every time you breathe.:lol2:
She don't know it yet, but, Baby's gonna be gargling my balls before this night is out.
After the explosion, where did your dick land?:p::D
There once was a woman named Alice
who employed a TNT phallus
They found her vagina
in North Carolina
And part of her asshole in Dallas
:lol2: @ 3foot!
reminds me of:
there once was a man from Nantucket
to took a pig in the thicket to ____:D____
She don't know it yet, but, Baby's gonna be gargling my balls before this night is out.
There was no gargling. There was no Baby. So, I got drunk.
:D
There once was a woman named Alice
who employed a TNT phallus
They found her vagina
in North Carolina
And part of her asshole in Dallas
:jig:
I love dirty limericks!
But was Sheldon there?
And did you gargle or swallow?
ETA for Grav:
There was a young lady from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She lay on her back
And opened her crack
And then pissed all over the ceiling
(notable because I worked very near Ealing)
There once was hooker from Vail
Who tattooed her price on her tail
Being kind to the blind
She embossed her behind
With sensational bargains in Braille
Once there was a hunter named Dave
Who found a dead whore in a cave
She had one tit
And she smelled like shit
But think of the money Dave saved
A hungry young fellow from Leeds
Swallowed a packet of seeds
Great bunches of grass
Grew out of his ass
And his balls were covered with weeds
There was a young lady called Fluck (did you know that Diana Dors real name was Diana Fluck?)
She don't know it yet, but, Baby's gonna be gargling my balls before this night is out.
Wow. You old romantic you.
From "the Magic Christian"
There once was a woman from Exeter
And all the young men threw their sex at her
Just to be rude, she lay in the nude
While her parrot, a pervert, took pecks at her.
You idiots.
Limericks belong in the Poim thread.
Wow. You old romantic you.
The fact that my balls weren't gargled is proof that romance is dead.
:lol2:
Sex...I just had some. Kinda, yeah....
"Wow, that was some kind of sex!"
I hope so. :)
jealous. who's the lucky fellow?
jealous. who's the lucky fellow?
don't tell us it was Penis Spam!1!!!11!? :eek: :lol:
There was a young lady called Fluck (did you know that Diana Dors real name was Diana Fluck?)
Who had the most terrible luck!
Sex...I just had some. Kinda, yeah....
[COLOR="DarkRed"][size=4]
MORT.[/size][/COLOR] The next words out of your keyboard are going to be that you didn't stop taking your birth control pills after all,
right?
I am sure Mort just had sex with B.O.B.
I wonder what a child with BOB would look like?
Ok time to finish this:
There was a young lady named Fluck
Who had the most terrible luck
She wanted to marry a horse
But she couldn't of course
So she married a fellow named Chuck
[COLOR="DarkRed"][size=4]MORT.[/size][/COLOR] The next words out of your keyboard are going to be that you didn't stop taking your birth control pills after all, right?
I did stop the pills, but I used another form of protection, aaand without getting too sickingly detailed....we did not finish the way that would have had the most risk of babies. (Although I realize pre-ejaculate can get you preggars too, but thats the reason for the protection.)
I'm still dating the boyfriend I was supposed to break up with...yeah I know. Its actually been kinda nice, not living with him, but still dating. We might work things out, and if not....well I'm determined to have some fun.
There was a young man from Nantucket
The rumours were greatly exaggerated.
....we did not finish the way that would have had the most risk of babies. ...
Ah, I see, this is the more refined way of saying you got bukkake'd.
If a stork brings babies what doesn't bring babies?
A swallow. (either African or European)
I wonder what a child with BOB would look like?
There was a young man from Nantucket
The rumours were greatly exaggerated.
*applause*
Although I realize pre-ejaculate can get you preggars too
Interesting note of the day: although every sex education class, since the dawn of sex education classes, have told us over and over and over and over that pre-ejaculate can contain sperm and get you pregnant...
...it's pretty much safe as long as the pull-out is performed correctly.
(bonus for all: ask for it on your tits or face and he HAS to perform the pull-out correctly. on your belly and he may still be too late. good lord it really has come to this, but it's the truth.)
Do not attempt this at home unless you are reasonably sure you want kids.
If a stork brings babies what doesn't bring babies?
A swallow. (either African or European)
Well, of course not.
How would he grip it?
I was looking at a website for an organisation that delivers boxes of fresh produce straight from the farmer to the consumer without a middle man. This led me to a link about 10 things to do with food that is about to go off, rather than putting it in the bin which then led to this article. Interesting...I live in a sheltered world and had never even contemplated that vegans might use different products from non-vegans...but if you're stick to your principles, then this is being very thorough about it.
The Meatless Bone: Vegan-Friendly Ways to Get It On-Amanda Hess
Things are easier said than done, or so the old adage goes, and we couldn't agree more. That's why we do The GOOD 30-Day Challenge a monthly attempt to live better. Our challenge for June? Go vegetarian.
For today's socially conscious consumer, the ethical implications of putting animal products in our mouths is a constant source of discussion. Less attention is paid to the role of animals in other orifices. But for vegans—who eschew all products made with or tested on animals—getting off means scouring lubricant labels, hand-picking latex condoms, and investigating porn stars' diets. Want to pork in a pig-free way? Get down doggie-friendly style? Here's how:
Vegan condoms. Prepare to get turned off: Safe human sex often requires a little animal involvement. Most oral contraceptives are produced by pharmaceutical companies that test on animals; the milk protein casein turns up in many latex condoms.
In recent years, the safer sex industry has made efforts to help vegans protect themselves against disease (and prevent babies). Almost a decade ago, Boise-based condom distributor Caryn Thompson embarked on the expensive and time-consuming process of importing, distributing, and certifying casein-free condoms from Sweden. After spending years navigating the FDA and another six months vetting the condoms through the U.S.-based Vegan Awareness Foundation, Thompson's O!Zone Wholesale is now the sole U.S. importer of certified vegan RFSU condoms. From there, RFSU condoms are distributed online or through brick-and-mortar specialty sex shops, like Portland, Maine's ethically-minded CS Boutique.
RFSU isn't the only condom manufacturer that doesn't use casein, but it's one of only a handful of companies that come with the vegan stamp of approval. "I thought it was important to get the information out there," Thompson says. "For people this matters to, it really matters."
But proving a product's vegan bonafides doesn't always end at certification. Glyde Condoms, which sells rubbers that are certified vegan through the UK-based Vegan Society, tries to one-up the competition by marketing its products as "the only really vegan condoms." And after dealing with sex-product companies that "have been murky and non-committal over the years about whether their products are truly cruelty-free," web outlet The Sensual Vegan now requires retailers to issue a signed statement swearing that their sex aids are totally vegan. "I want to be able to sue any company that lies to me about the vegan-ness of their products," the shop says.
Tired of hunting down ethical rubbers? There's always surgery. As The Sensual Vegan puts it: "Other than vegan condoms, the only reliable option for preventing pregnancy is sterilization."
Vegan lube. Are you slathering animal products on your genitals? Possibly. Lubricants like Luvena contain the dairy-derived enzyme lactoperoxidase; K-Y Warming Liquid capitalizes off the work of honeybees.
In recent years, some lubricant manufacturers have stripped their products of animal derivatives in order to court sexually active vegans. Until May of last year, Good Clean Love marketed "natural" and "organic" lubricants to the vegan community that contained a "small percentage of lactoperioxidase, something like .001 percent, that was part of the preservative system," Good Clean Love "Love Evangelist" Liz Spannuth told me over e-mail. The company has since nixed the ingredient. "In our experience vegans are very fastidious about educating themselves on product ingredients," she says. ...
Source:
http://www.good.is/post/vegan-sex-how-the-meat-free-get-it-on/Well, contraception is technically unnatural.
So it's not surprising that those looking for vegan-safe contraception would have a hard time.
Pun semi-intended.
A condom to keep Vegans from reproducing? Hell, I'll support that.
I'm a vagetarian, btw.:blunt:
RFSU isn't the only condom manufacturer that doesn't use casein, but it's one of only a handful of companies that come with the vegan stamp of approval. "I thought it was important to get the information out there," Thompson says. "For people this matters to, it really matters."
Of course it does, if they have an unplanned child, vegans can't eat 'em.
[YOUTUBE]Pw6VMVqlg90[/YOUTUBE]
7 Couples Reveal The (Weird?) Rules They Have For Getting It On
1. “Our only rule is to keep quiet if there are others in the house.” —Zak L.
2. “We don’t make love while she’s on her period. I had a bad first experience in college that I couldn’t get past. And I wash down there right before if I want her to go down on me.” —Brandon S.
3. “Our rule is to speak up. If something isn't working in the sack, say something. Even the most sexually in-sync partners aren't mind readers. Sometimes mind-blowing sex could use some gentle guidance.” —Charyn P.
4. “My husband and I have a few rules in the bedroom: no socks, the lights can't be too bright or too dark, and no TV in the bedroom—at all! We actually received a TV for our bedroom as a gift from our parents and ended up giving it back. The bedroom is for bonding, sex, and intimacy—not watching TV. Also, no answering phones if they ring during sex!” —Fiona M.
5. “If one of us is in the mood for sex and the other isn’t, we give the other 24 hours to ‘get in the mood’ before masturbating. This isn’t to stop masturbating—the purpose is to increase the frequency of our intimacy while giving one another a little space and understanding.” —Adele C.
6. “No social media 30 minutes before bed. Social media is like the anti-aphrodisiac.” —Margaret W.
7. “We create a weekly sex plan to make sure we have sex at least four times a week. He plans two days, and I plan two days—and we totally surprise each other with new ideas. It keeps it hot and interesting! —Nicole M.
Also, no answering phones if they ring during sex!
Absolutely, answering the phone interrupts her making my sandwich.
[COLOR="White"]You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht[/COLOR]
I logged into the Cellar like I was logging onto my email account
[COLOR="white"]Your hat strategically dipped below one eye[/COLOR]
My curser strategically placed over this thread
[COLOR="white"]Your scarf it was apricot[/COLOR]
My thought was on who it's about
[COLOR="white"]You had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte
[/COLOR]I had one eye on the thread title as I watched the OP unfold
[COLOR="white"]And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner[/COLOR]
And all the replies seamed they'd contain part of
[COLOR="white"]They'd be your partner, and...
[/COLOR]They'd contain part of, oh
[COLOR="white"]You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
[/COLOR]My username, I thought this thread was about me
[COLOR="white"]You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you
[/COLOR]My username, I'd have bet this thread was about me
[COLOR="white"]Don't you? don't you?[/COLOR]
Wouldn't you? Wouldn't you?
I thought it was a thread about Warren Beatty?
Very good, btw.
Oh Sexobon, you're so vain.
you probably think this thread is about you
You might be thinking of moppets.
[YOUTUBE]-raEW_nYcb0[/YOUTUBE]
I was wondering if anyone else would go there!! It's the first thing I thought of!
(Popdigr watches (watched?) that show. He's nearly deef, and the computer is near the tv, so, it's gets injected into my brain, whether I want it there, or not.):D
The bedroom is for bonding, sex, and intimacy—not watching TV. Also, no answering phones if they ring during sex!”
Shit... Wish I knew about this 30 years ago.
Awww, too bad Digr, here's a little mood music while you hope for a reversal of fortune.
[YOUTUBE]uwqLH-1UWUo[/YOUTUBE]
Nooo.....No peg. No peeeegg!!:bolt:
What is this sex ya'll speak of? :bolt:
Play your cards right and you too can find out:
[YOUTUBE]_vVV8hRTxgE[/YOUTUBE]
Dude,
Giving head, you're doing it wrong, really, really wrong.
WTF, Chamicka?!
[ATTACH]57434[/ATTACH]
Well at least Chamicka isn't a teaser.
Ha! Typo in the last line or really odd wording...
Or my eyes seeing "for" not "far"
Sexual congress has been going on forever of course but the slang for it has changed...
1. Give someone a green gown (1351)
2. Play nug-a-nug (1505)
3. Play the pyrdewy (1512)
4. Play at couch quail (1521)
5. Ride below the crupper (1578)
6. Board a land carrack (1604)
7. Fadoodling (1611)
8. Put the devil into hell (1616)
9. Night physic (1621)
10. Princum-prancum (1630)
11. Culbatizing exercise (1653)
12. Join paunches (1656)
13. Dance the Paphian jig (1656)
14. Play at tray trip of a die (1660)
15. Dance Barnaby (1664)
16. Shot twixt wind and water (1665)
17. Play at rantum-scantum (1667)
18. Blow off the groundsills (1674)
19. Play hey gammer cook (1674)
20. Join giblets (1680)
21. Play at rumpscuttle and clapperdepouch (1684)
22. Lerricompoop (1694)
23. Ride a dragon upon St. George (1698)
24. Houghmagandy (1700)
25. Pogue the hone (1719)
26. Make feet for children’s stockings (1785)
27. Dance the kipples (1796)
28. Have one’s corn ground (1800)
29. Horizontal refreshment (1863)
30. Arrive at the end of the sentimental journey (1896)
31. Get one’s ashes hauled (1910)
It seems like people keep trying to bring this thread back, without any luck. Anyone want to get things going again here? I've been gone a few years, but I am no less perverted than I was. ;)
I have a topic for discussion: sex after children. Did you go a long time after baby was born to start things up again? Or get right back to it?
In the years I've been away I've gotten married to my SO and had a child (now 4 years old). We basically went 2 years after she was born to get busy... Which was not fun. Anyone else have a similar experience?
I think part of the issue was breastfeeding.... I breastfeed for a year and hubs did not like it... I don't know if I'd go so far as to say he was "grossed out", but pretty close. Guys, what are your thoughts on sex if the lady is lactating?
Ladies, what are your thoughts on sex while lactating?
Got back to it fairly quickly. Maybe a month or two. There was some healing that had to occur first. I don't really remember exactly how long it was.
If anything, the breastfeeding was a turn on. Huge increase in size. It was fun.
Yeah, I got back in the saddle after about four weeks. At my six-week checkup the doctor was like, "Okay, you're healed enough for sexual activity," and I was like, "Oh, uh... good."
But I had to do it with a bra on and absorption pads in the entire time I was breastfeeding (1 year for each kid) because I was constantly leaking.
Breast milk? Curiously refreshing, makes kisses wetter too, definitely a turn on.
Maybe he was subconsciously jealous of the baby getting more boob than he was. ;)
I remember not getting much for a couple years after Ippy was born. She felt like her body was meant for nourishing the child, not for my enjoyment. I think that may have been partially a result of her not feeling attractive or sexy. Not like we didn't do it at all, just that she never instigated, and I had to be extra persuasive or aggressive to get my itch scratched for a while.
[ATTACH]61301[/ATTACH]
Uh...:unsure:[size=1]One please.[/size]
[ATTACH]61301[/ATTACH]
Uh...:unsure:[size=1]One please.[/size]
Haha, that's like having children :D Just kidding! :rolleyes:
[ATTACH]66415[/ATTACH]
[ATTACH]66416[/ATTACH]
[ATTACH]66417[/ATTACH]
[ATTACH]66418[/ATTACH]