Funny names for computer stuff...

You know, Windows Explorer = Windows Exploder, Device Manager = Device Mangler, Automatically = Automagically, etc.

What are some other good ones?

Internet Exploder
Winblows
Macintrash
TRASH-80
Nutscrape
Microsoft Turd
Microsoft Orifice
Eunuchs

mouse balls

scuzzy cables

Windoze Internet Exploiter

Quackbooks

Dongle

huh huh ... dongle ... that's the real word!

Joystick always made me chuckle.

Classic.

One of my former cow-orkers once had to explain to an intern exactly why male and female connectors are called male and female.

Flint;603564 wrote:

Classic.

What?

Damnit--I knew you'd be lurking around here! False alarm, buddy.

My wife calls her a POS, daily. And then she calls me at work to tell me about it.

Outlook = Lookout
Exchange = Sexchange

Why not let computers make the jokes for us? Here are a few gems I got from the internal spellcheck, posting my resume online:

Vendors/Products:
Meditech = mediate
Corepoint = corposant
Neotool = Motorola
Cisco = Crisco
Nortel = Nortek
CLARiiON = clarion
CallPilot = calliope

Other Miscellany:
nt-based = teased
teleradiology = tolerability
PACS-related = pastureland
DICOM = disco
DLT = dolt
superuser = superset

Twice I've had people e-mail me that they were sorry for the incontinence.

Oh no...a cow orker at my old job sent that out to lord knows how many people. That woman is dumber than a bag of hammers.

Shawnee123;604256 wrote:

That woman is dumber than a bag of hammers.

How does that compare to a box of rocks?

you don't need computers to mess your words up, just the aforementioned dumb boxes and bags. We received a letter yesterday from an insurance company which refered to the need to "identify" and make a "phenomenal settlement" (i.e., indemnify or make a nominal settlement).

Cut-rate secretaries don't cut it.

Cloud;605397 wrote:

you don't need computers to mess your words up, just the aforementioned dumb boxes and bags. We received a letter yesterday from an insurance company which refered to the need to "identify" and make a "phenomenal settlement" (i.e., indemnify or make a nominal settlement).

Cut-rate secretaries don't cut it.

Who signed the letter? Don't they have an obligation to read what they are signing?

glatt;605763 wrote:

Who signed the letter? Don't they have an obligation to read what they are signing?

Heck no, they just e-sign the whole batch! That is, after they let their speech recognition software cobble it together. Productivity soars!

computer = composter

Flint;604236 wrote:

Why not let computers make the jokes for us? Here are a few gems I got from the internal spellcheck, posting my resume online:

Vendors/Products:
Meditech = mediate
Corepoint = corposant
Neotool = Motorola
Cisco = Crisco
Nortel = Nortek
CLARiiON = clarion
CallPilot = calliope

Other Miscellany:
nt-based = teased
teleradiology = tolerability
PACS-related = pastureland
DICOM = disco
DLT = dolt
superuser = superset

Flint,

Meditech and mediate should never be in the same sentence since those two words have completely opposite meanings. Meditech and the words forced, hacked, and kludged should be.

You sound bitter, Mitch. :lol:

dar512;605395 wrote:

How does that compare to a box of rocks?

Hammer smashes rock, therefore a box of rocks is dumber than a bag of hammers.

wolf;607640 wrote:

Hammer smashes rock, therefore a box of rocks is dumber than a bag of hammers.

Useful information, Wolf. Thanks.

:D

mbpark;607506 wrote:

Flint,

Meditech and mediate should never be in the same sentence since those two words have completely opposite meanings. Meditech and the words forced, hacked, and kludged should be.

Mitch, you need to enable the UNV Toolbox parameter "bang head repeatedly against wall" ...except, of course that this is a Meditech-controlled parameter. Did you open a ticket on the website, which has actually been brought down by a virus that was patched more than a year ago? Oh, and you aren't listed in the Access Dictionary for this module, on the third tab, see that obscure reference in the lower left-hand corner? You need to enter W, M, or Y (Weekdays, Mondays, or Yes). You should be all set now.

Edit: Forgot one thing! You'll need "submerged" access to a completely unrelated module. And no, "ALL" access doesn't include this.

Flint;607681 wrote:

Mitch, you need to enable the UNV Toolbox parameter "bang head repeatedly against wall" ...except, of course that this is a Meditech-controlled parameter. Did you open a ticket on the website, which has actually been brought down by a virus that was patched more than a year ago? Oh, and you aren't listed in the Access Dictionary for this module, on the third tab, see that obscure reference in the lower left-hand corner? You need to enter W, M, or Y (Weekdays, Mondays, or Yes). You should be all set now.

Edit: Forgot one thing! You'll need "submerged" access to a completely unrelated module. And no, "ALL" access doesn't include this.

Those who have never had to experience Meditech have no clue as to how complex it really is. I did learn one two-word phrase yesterday to help with the pain that this software is. Boston Workstations.

Personal computer = personal confuser