Funny images that aren't quite WTF images
oh no!
thats so wrong.....
She told him to get away from her arse...but did he listen? Nooooo...they never do!
Supermarket elephant Mum:
"What? What? I wiped your shitty arse enough times, don't be giving me any grief. Do you know how badly you affected my digestive system? Just deal with it or you'll get a trunk whipping."
Mommmmm. Johnny called me doo-doo head.
(From here)
Noted, and appreciated :D
This was on the birthday card I got from the lab last year, and is hanging over my desk:
That reminds me of
this one.
Heehee...can't beat The Far Side.
Umm, yes you can.
B. Kliban on his worst day was 10x better than "Gary let me explain my joke to you Larson."
Well, he did a have a few funny ones and I will give him props for knowing when it was time to quit.
And there's Roz Chast, and Sam Gross, and Jim Unger.
I can go on.
Never Eat Anything Bigger than Your Head.
Whack your porcupine and make it sing.
Business is about to pick up...
I loved Kliban when I was a kid.... My room was painted red with a white carpet and Kliban cat prints on the walls. I even had the bedding...
Then we moved to NY and I never had a cool room again.
Please see my new thread, once I do it...
I never took to Kliban. I hate to admit it, but I was kind of okay with Boynton.
feet, you didn't like Larson? Man he was great, til he stopped doing coke.
Whack your porcupine and make it sing.
Is that anything like choking your chicken?
feet, you didn't like Larson? Man he was great, til he stopped doing coke.
Where's this information from? Googling '"gary larson" cocaine' turns up nothing linking gary to cocaine.
But now it will. The Cellar will be the top hit for information on Gary Larson's cocaine abuse.
Where's this information from? Googling '"gary larson" cocaine' turns up nothing linking gary to cocaine.
I must have had him confused with another cartoonist. My bad. Let me look.
I mailed them pandas to the school principal :D Panda is the mascot we're stuck with and we always end up with something that looks like the WWF panda on out team shirts etc, which doesn't exactly instil fear into the hearts of the opposition. damn hippy school -who the fuck picked a panda in the first place? :lol:
Our elementary school is the geckos. It's hard to avoid the Geico allusions.
I mailed them pandas to the school principal :D Panda is the mascot we're stuck with and we always end up with something that looks like the WWF panda on out team shirts etc, which doesn't exactly instil fear into the hearts of the opposition. damn hippy school -who the fuck picked a panda in the first place? :lol:
The people who told your school they couldn't use the Red Indian who had been the mascot for 50 years prior to the panda.
My Junior High mascot was "Warriors." (injun in full headdress). I just went looking to see what the mascot situation was there, and according to the November Newsletter on the website voting was ongoing for some animal starting with "W." At least they weren't trying to choose something like "Wisteria."
My high school mascot - "Trojans." We took a lot of ribbing, but were stiff opponents.
In a strange twist of fate, I went to a college where we cheered the "Golden Rams."
I've been a Viking and a Polar Bear. :)
We'll be swimming against the Trojans :lol: I wonder what they use for swim caps? This merits a thread of it's own......
Coatesville is still the
Red Raiders
who's gonna go there and argue with them though...
well played
I was a Bulldog in HS. I was a hippie as well. Thus, I give you the Blowdog Bite Song (Bulldog Fight Song).
Oh, bite! you Grandview Blowdogs!
Bite 'em to the stem.
If you don't make the football team, you'll have to dress out in gym.
Oh, bite! you Grandview Blowdogs, bite 'em to the stem.
If you don't win the game tonight, you'll never get laid again.
And, FWIW, our HS alma mater was to the tune of "Deutschland Uber Alles". Go figure. Apparently, there weren't enough Jews in Grandview to cause an uproar.
"Stiff opponents?" Wolf, you didn't really have to say that!
"Stiff opponents?" Wolf, you didn't really have to say that!
Somebody had to, and I wanted to save you the trouble.
We Trojans gotta stick together.
Is that anything like choking your chicken?
I believe it is.
Open later? Close earlier?
Yeah, that'll be convenient.
Clear vinyl Converse.
Why?
Well, they had to say which 24 hours.
You're doing it wrong.
it says
open 24 hours
mon 5am-fri 9pm
( i assume this means they stay open 24 hours per day during the week, but close friday night, sat night, & sunday night)
If you total the hours on the sign it really says they are open 96 hrs. per week. They prolly did the sign that way to get attention. Obviously it worked.
Or it could mean open 24 hrs to keyholding members. However most key clubs have the electronic type now.
Good one.
We have 24 hour supermarkets here.
Because of Sunday opening laws they close at 22.00 Saturday (open again Sunday 11.00-17.00)
I read the shrug in their signs.
"We're trying!"
Steven Wright: What do you mean you're closed? The sign says "open 24 hours."
Shopkeeper: Not in a row.
Bear in mind that the gym is on Main Street in Hackensack, NJ.
And if there is a place not to be at 3 AM, it's Main Street.
Bear in mind that the gym is on Main Street in Hackensack, NJ.
And if there is a place not to be at 3 AM, it's Main Street.
Yabbut that's only 'cos the gym is closed:D !
The gym may be closed, but crackheads abound.
Our gym is open 24 hours but has posted hours for when the office is open and real people are there making money being there. Otherwise they have a key card access for the after hours, middle of the night crew.
Hey look!
It's a stunt cock for Long Dong Silver.
Look...it's a dick-up truck.
Snowballs! And a snow... errrr.... uhhh... sorry, lost it.
It's a fucking truck.
:lol2:
there's junk in his trunk!
Wishful thinking.:rolleyes:
Maybe it controls a shock collar? :D
Oh Gawd, just shoot the little fuck and get it over with, there are donuts to be eaten.
Wtf is this? a bill board?
Among other things, I don't understand the yellow rose (?) Hillary is holding, and I don't understand Kermit.
Yellow Rose? Texas.
I'm wondering what's with the rubber duckie.
What about the Carl Childers haircut?
Yellow Rose? Texas.
I'm wondering what's with the rubber duckie.
I'd know know what it means, but that's not just a rubber duck, it's an "
I rub my duckie".
And how did you know that? :haha:
There are some things man is not meant to know...
One trick pony.
I think I have to agree.
I have a great idea!
I'll start posting every time something which is accepted as mainstream in American offends my pink-liberal-Europen viewpoint!
You'll all be so interested and excited!
Oh, wait...
Don't feel bad. I'm only a two-footer and I aint gotta clue.
and I am hopping on one foot.
Don't feel bad. I'm only a two-footer and I aint gotta clue.
Sheldon would like to have a word with you.;)
#85, 86, 87, 89
Huh?
The above referenced posts' allude to posters who have only one bell to ring, one song to sing, one trick to perform, and thus, being so limited by intellect and imagination, drag that one trick out over and over and over again, ad nauseum, until the audience no longer pays it any mind. It becomes just another background, another prop.
It's very boring.
[drift] To be fair, there is
one other trick. [/drift]
[drift] To be fair, there is one other trick. [/drift]
Touche.
[drift] To be fair, there is one other trick. [/drift]
Awwww. Poor fella's. :D
well, they are troublesome! always dancing and stuff...
What? You did NOT just say that? WTF?
HEY! thats Jerry Jones' writing....
Redneck stretch limo
[SIZE="1"]
(from here)[/SIZE]
All it needs is a paint job.
Snort. Reception musta been at the 7-11. Cash Slurpee Bar.
All it needs is a paint job.
[SIZE=6]NOOOO!
[SIZE=2]that would totally ruin it[/SIZE]
[/SIZE]
We land an asteroid on top of Israel?
Nah, missed Israel. Seems a direct hit on Kuwait.
I'd expand the size by about 20%. Take out everything from Pakistan to Suez, Somalia to Kurdistan. You reckon God loves you? Go ask him.
Oh and a leopard kills Mugabe. Done.
That truck is Octo-moms.
"Don't make me stop this car car car car car car car..."
lol lol lol lol lol lol lol...
Actually, I think the redneck limo was a pretty classic WTF image, not an alternate.
...[COLOR="White"][/COLOR]
1337 seems rather high. Are there really 1336 other chapters? If so I'd have thought I'd have heard of it by now.
I'd have thoughst so, too, but I guess you're not that observant. [COLOR="White"] . . . [/COLOR]I'm really disappointed in you right now.
OK Flint, I have to ask: what the eff is with all the invisible ellipses?
And wtf is PC LOAD LETTER? ;)
1337 seems rather high. Are there really 1336 other chapters? If so I'd have thought I'd have heard of it by now.
Google: 1337 speak.
I'm really disappointed in you right now.
So's my mom. So's my wife. Hell, so is everybody. It's what I do. And I'm
extremely good at it.
And wtf is PC LOAD LETTER? ;)
Nobody knows. Don't bother asking. They just don't.
Sorry to increase your useless quotient, SD, but "PC Load Letter" is well known to some. It's a prime example of a bad error message.
On a lot of old HP Laserjet printers, they would display this message when the (P)aper (C)assette was out of (Letter) sized paper.
More at
wiki, if you need a nap.
Flint, I thought that was POST PC LOAD LETTER.
Yes, Shawnee post pc load letter, Cellar make joke.
Next me think classicman ask
how is babby formed.
Next me think Flint[COLOR="White"]...[/COLOR]will be less[COLOR="White"]...[/COLOR]stoned or whatever[COLOR="white"]...[/COLOR]he is.
I think I've arrived - Flint is pickin on me, lol
BTW - PC LOAD LETTER is always in ALL CAPS.
just sayin.
Best Mardi Gras costume. Ernie in the background gives me pause, as well.
OK Flint, I have to ask: what the eff is with all the invisible ellipses?
And wtf is PC LOAD LETTER? ;)
I am soooo pissed - my red Swingline got jammed just this morning and I can't get the staple out.
Um, that's my stapler......
Anyone remember the
Milton cartoons on SNL?
The 1999 film Office Space was loosely based upon the Milton cartoons, and featured actor Stephen Root in the role of Milton Waddams.
The ratio of people to cake is too big.
Anyone remember the Milton cartoons on SNL?
No, damn it. And I remember a lot of SNL stuff. Mid 90s? That was Sandler time, wasn't it?
Sounds about right. Lumbergh would come in and say stuff like "...and we're gonna need you to move your desk as faaar back in the corner as you can, to make room for some boxes..." etc. and the segment would end with Milton mumbling "Well okay, but I'm gonna burn the building down."
As an aside, Stephen Root is a very talented actor. He's done a
huge variety of roles.
Dang! That guy gets work.
I've always been a fan.
I loved him (and everyone else) on Newsradio.
Also in O Brother, coming full circle for the day.
He was excellent in True Blood as well.
His character gets his in No Country for Old Men.
After almost getting his junk cut off in "'Crocodile' Dundee II", he deserved every role.
I am soooo pissed - my red Swingline got jammed just this morning and I can't get the staple out.
Um, that's my stapler......
my daughter had an art class last year...and the teacher had the classic red swingline....
the stupid bitch had never seen office space, and looked at me like i was retarded when i told her 'tha that ...that's my stapler'.
sigh...get with the meme, Jill.
It's not like you can get one by accident.
In fact Swingline wasn't making a red stapler when the movie came out... since then there has been a nonstop demand for them, and they have produced them ever since.
[COLOR="White"]...[/COLOR]
Look how pretty that skin looks. :vomit:
Never ceases to amaze me what people will tattoo on themselves.
Or to get attention. Why not use something not quite so permanent?
And yes... the skin. Now THAT is an attention getter. But not removable. By one's self.
In fact Swingline wasn't making a red stapler when the movie came out... since then there has been a nonstop demand for them, and they have produced them ever since.
Interesting factoid.
Never ceases to amaze me what people will tattoo on themselves.
"I'm getting a tattoo to express my individuality, just like everyone else."
(i got a red swingline for christmas!)
:blush:
Never ceases to amaze me that people tattoo themselves.
I'm calling Sharpie ...at least on the lettering....
(i got a red swingline for christmas!)
:blush:
First time I've ever heard of a tattoo like that. :rolleyes:
I'm pretty sure this is fake, but this, allegedly, is the tail number on Air Force One:
[ATTACH]22585[/ATTACH]
Air Force One is the air traffic control call sign of any United States Air Force aircraft carrying the President of the United States.[1] Since 1990, the presidential fleet has consisted of two specifically configured, highly customized Boeing 747-200B series aircraft – tail codes "28000" and "29000" – with Air Force designation "VC-25A". While these aircraft are referred to as "Air Force One" only while the president is on board, the term is commonly used to describe either of the two aircraft normally used and maintained by the U.S. Air Force solely for the president.
That's right, spoil it for everyone...
GOOD MORNING AFGHANISTAN!
...and now the weather.....
[ATTACH]22588[/ATTACH]
I don't really know where this belongs...
Not really a wtf. Not really a funny image. But I'll stick it in this thread.
*scratches head*
I think that one might have been posted at the cellar before. I've got it on my hard drive, and I think I got it from here.
Whatever, I like it!
Imagine if you could grow trees like that, ready chopped.
An equal yet opposite reaction...
See, The Cellar is educational...
Complete with upper warming shelf.
Yea but it doesn't really tell us how to build the atomic bomb so we can blast ourselves back to the beginning and start all over again.
That information is available exclusively at Cellar.org.
Cyeah. It doesn't even tell how to build some computers and hook them up to the Internet.
I like how the one good musician got impaled by the shoe.
And how the accountants are gloating over the tape.....
He's not a bad bear, he's just drawn that way.
well if we are posting pedobear
Pedobear?
The last one is great.
Some of them may lose their forehead jewels as a result of that gag...heeheee...
not so much WTF as WT... huh?
[youtube]6Jlv8F9cerA&feature[/youtube]
nooky
...almost triggered a flashback......
I'm sorry. Was that young, attractive Asian Girl screaming "NookieNookieNookieNookieNookie"?
Oh, she was? In that case, excuse me for a moment, I have to go to the restroom now.
BTW, is nookienookienookie Japanese for poosiepoosiepoosie?
What is she, 12?
When did this become a pedophile thread? :eyebrow: Certainly there are forums just for that kind of thing.
[ATTACH]23222[/ATTACH]
Looks like the head of a monster sticking out of the ground.
Looks like the head of a monster sticking out of the ground.
The only info I could find on that pic was the title: "Old Grainery" WTF? :(
I'm sorry. Was that young, attractive Asian Girl screaming "NookieNookieNookieNookieNookie"?
Oh, she was? In that case, excuse me for a moment, I have to go to the restroom now.
BTW, is nookienookienookie Japanese for poosiepoosiepoosie?
nookie=poosie 90s slang
And I don't know why she had some kind of soda buakki thing going.
The unix geeks will get this one. (I took it myself, so proud!)
[code][root@henry rc5.d]# CHOWN -R
-bash: CHOWN: command not found[/code]
Damn the DMV and its insistence on capital letters.
(I took it myself)
And people worry about drivers texting :eyebrow:
It was a loooong stretch of stopped traffic. I was at a stand-still. :rolleyes:
Very cool, Pie. Your geek points just keep piling up. :D
Dude, don't let the tits fool you. I am a geek. :dunce:
he he he - she said t*ts.
Never let the tits fool you.
That's why you should never take yuor eyes off them even for a minute.
Tommy Chong: "I never did, man. I never did!"
Lingerie [Football] League Leaves Little to the Imagination
I got a chuckle out of the caption of one picture . . . "Click to Enlarge."
(I wonder if these poor women know what they're getting themselves into with the notorious Philadelphia sports fans.)
Yeah, there is some buzz here about it too....
The Philadelphia Passion will be one of five teams in the Eastern Conference, along with the Chicago Bliss, Miami Caliente, New York Majesty and Tampa Breeze.
Dude, don't let the tits fool you. I am a geek. :dunce:
I am always in favor of fooling around with tits...
Where was I.
Oh yeah. I'm not discounting your geekiness due to your sex. (Huh. Huh. Huh. He said, "sex"). On the contrary, accumulating evidence leads me to believe you may be a geek goddess.
Yeah, there is some buzz here about it too....
At least they didn't call themselves the Tampa X.
Found while hunting for satan pictures:
ironic to include a pic that actually says "What the Fuck" in it...in the 'not quite what the fuck' pics thread.
Found while hunting for satan pictures:
Now I must ask -
Why were you looking for Satan pictures?
No, no, that's the money Satan could have saved if he'd switched to GEICO. :rolleyes:
Now I must ask -
Why were you looking for Satan pictures?
I wanted to know what my future husband looks like?
No, I was looking for a good pic for the
Great Satan Picture Thread, of course.
What is she, 12?
When did this become a pedophile thread? :eyebrow: Certainly there are forums just for that kind of thing.
Twelve!? Give me a break, she's
at least fourteen!!!:mad:
Hey, if it was on Youtube it must be OK, right?
The right-hand side is blurry. I don't really want to see that, but if you're going to post it, get it in focus.
It's actually a bone (heh) structure comparison.
Next page - Horsegag
I was at a friend's over the weekend and he's living in the middle of Amish country.
When I saw this boat and cart across the road it seemed odd enough to get a picture.
Seemed strange. Like a contrast of the old and the new.
The funny photo would have been seeing the cart pull the boat with a few horses. :)
A license plate on a buggy? :eek:
Yes.
I don't know all the details but it seems that it is extremely difficult to get away from "THE MAN's" registration fees and taxes.
Even if you're living a lifestyle from the 18th century. :mad:
Yes, they have to be registered and they have to have the reflective triangle and blinking lights for night time.
Seemed strange. Like a contrast of the old and the new.
Slang, that's almost exactly what I was thinking when I did this.
[ATTACH]23511[/ATTACH]
That shit made me remember this shit.
Yes, they have to be registered and they have to have the reflective triangle and blinking lights for night time.
PA requires the lights and reflector, but no plates.
edit; As a matter of fact, a friend just sent me a picture of one. :D
edit2; The pictures were taken in DE, which doesn't require plates either.
I don't normally link animated GIFs because they are so large.
:lol:
If you get to hell before me, save me a seat near the fire, will you?
She died in a during?
Charles During?
She died in a during?
Charles During?
"After being wounded again, this time in the chest, Durning was repatriated to the United States. He remained in Army hospitals to receive treatment for wounds until being discharged with the rank of Private First Class on January 30, 1946."
What the hell! After all that guy went through he sould have been promoted.
Military Logic™: If he had died, he would have been promoted.
Military Logic™ 2 : If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
"After being wounded again, this time in the chest, Durning was repatriated to the United States. He remained in Army hospitals to receive treatment for wounds until being discharged with the rank of Private First Class on January 30, 1946."
What the hell! After all that guy went through he sould have been promoted.
Pretty impressive credentials.......3, real, earned purple hearts.......
The Normandy landing on D-Day and the Battle Of The Bulge.......
They should be writing books about his experiences.......
I strongly agree. So it goes.
I'll take some of that action. Where do I sign up??
Mmmm. I've never had crab or lobster flavored Boston Terrier. Sounds tasty.
Even if you're living a lifestyle from the 18th century. :mad:
18th century. Yeah.
The amish women behind me at the check out today were buying: foam plates, Luvs diapers, several 12 packs of Gatorade, Tide, plastic hangers etc etc...
Aside from the funny hats and animal abuse, they're really no different than you and me.
18th century. Yeah.
The amish women .....
Aside from the ......animal abuse, they're really no different than you and me.
Wow. I have not heard about that. What are they accused of? Having sex with goats or what? You certainly can't be talking about their horses pulling buggies or draft horses working on the farm. Are you? I have never heard of this issue.
Round here the Amish are the puppy millers and have been known to often keep their dogs in the worst possible conditions.
I just lost all respect for the Amish I have ever enjoyed. Puppy millers are the pits.
The puppy mills are the worst, but the buggies really bother me a lot too... These people use disposable plates and diapers because they are convenient, they have cell phones and weed wackers... why does a horse have to suck exhaust hauling their asses thru traffic to Walmart? Because that really draws the tourists and the money.
My Pennsylvanian grandma used to say there's "clean Amish" and there's "dirty Amish," but she could've just been Anti-Amishtic. I"ve seen some Amish farms that I wouldn't set my big toe on they were that nasty.
The Amish: they're just like everyone else. But with hats.
And, AND! they charged $.75 more per quart of strawberries this year than the english stands.
:mad2:
Googly Eyes + Coke Machine = "Why hello, ladies!"
You forgot the attraction of the bald head, Kits.
Thats a great pic where'd you find that one?
And, AND! they charged $.75 more per quart of strawberries this year than the english stands.
:mad2:
The cheatin'
bastid's!Thats a great pic where'd you find that one?
I took it.
I wish I could read the warning label.
...gets feeling he's about to........
Googly Eyes + Coke Machine = "Why hello, ladies!"
Is that Clarence Thomas and his coke can? :haha:
The warning is a "tip over" variety. What a let down.
I was hoping it'd say "Consuming Coke products can result in eye explosion or death."
wasn't this thread where the pedo bear images were?
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1912846I would love it if she would wear a real fur coat just to piss off the PETA people. :)
So at the pool tonight, we were talking about how easy and convenient thel local library's online renewal service is..... and I 'fessed up to regularly renewing one book I want/need to read but never get round to ...we eventaully stopped laughing, so I thought all y'all might apprecite it too .. but I knew you'd demand proof, so here is the screenshot of our library account (we just can't find the garfield book) (books need renewing once a month)
Ragetti: That's what you call ironic.
I don't think we get to renew that many times at my library.
oh, we have some we've been renewing for more than 4 years.......
it didn't used to be this way....
Yeah, I'm pretty sure we get to renew a maximum of three times.
Actually, come to think of it, that may only be if someone else has requested the book. If no one is requesting it maybe they'd let you keep it forever, I don't know.
if someone wants it, it can't be renewed.
I can't imagine that no one wants Garfield Hits the Big Time. :rolleyes:
Alright. Who's brave enough to go request the Garfield book so that Monnie has to look for it?
oh please don't :( I'm sure it's here somewhere (with the other one) but I just have stuff to do this week. back to school necxt week.
Continually renewing the Procrastinators Guide to Wills and Estate Planning is truly funny.
I know. I wonder if anyone at the library has noticed?
I know. I wonder if anyone at the library has noticed?
:worried: <paranoid>They're snickering at you right now</paranoid>
I hope they're laughing as much as I am. :lol:
Wouldn't it be easier just to go and buy your own copy? It shouldn't cost that much.
easier than including it in the "renew all" click? I don't think so..... plus i'm super-stingy....
don't be such a party pooper. Obviously now I have to keep it for as long as I possibly can..... it's probably already way out of date, that's why no-one else wants it :lol:
They died waiting for it to be returned.
They would have put in a request for its return, but hey, they procrastinated. And now it's just too late. I hope you're happy. :mad:
:lol:
They died waiting for it to be returned.
:lol:
you insensitive bitch -that book is currently due on 9/11
BWAAAAHAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Why is Budweiser like making love in a canoe?
All I can figure is that nobody at Annheiser-Busch ever heard that joke, or that there is a disgruntled employee somewhere in Sea World's marketing display department. It doesn't quite show in the photo, but the canoe is filled with ice, Bud, and Bud Light.
you insensitive bitch -that book is currently due on 9/11
:lol: :notworthy:
Really? may I politely request a screenshot?
you'd better send flowers :cry:
.
that is funny, wolf.... but bud doesn't give me sand in places.....
in the UK that joke is just about american beer in general ;)
:lol2:
:flower::flower::flower:
Just ... perfect!
you doubted me? :eyebrow:
I'm aware you are in possession of a literary license.
Monnie, I am presently marking essays by ESL students. Please do not declare that you are disappoint to me.
you insensitive bitch -that book is currently due on 9/11
fuck you. i lost a precious book on 9/11!
My next appointment with my family Doctor is on 9/11. Thinking about rescheduling.....
Holy shit!!! There's a string hanging outta his---ow--OW!!
The puppy mills are the worst, but the buggies really bother me a lot too... These people use disposable plates and diapers because they are convenient, they have cell phones and weed wackers... why does a horse have to suck exhaust hauling their asses thru traffic to Walmart? Because that really draws the tourists and the money.
Because horses are cheaper than cars (for the most part).
We're closing on our refinance on 9/11. :rolleyes:
Holy shit!!! There's a string hanging outta his---ow--OW!!
Nah, that's syphilitic drip.
Nah, that's Syphilitic Drip.
Band Name!!!
maybe.
It's the tip of his condom. He's very... productive.
What Chuck Norris does when you fall asleep at the wheel going 60mph.
Holy shit.
She is a lucky girl.
Oh, here is the before Pic.
The water and final resting place where she swam out.
I've just seen the pics, I guess I will have to find the details in some other thread, but meanwhile ... whew!!!!
Blessed be those crumple zones. Thanks to all the engineers who designed them and the racing drivers who tested the concept.
I guess it is partly camera angle but the car looks about two feet shorter. Any chance you can measure it?
I missed the story too...
The short version.
17 yo burns the candle at both ends.
Falls asleep at the wheel going about 60mph while we are in Jamacia.
Hits a tree. Airbags deploy and wake her up.
Car flips around 360 and lands in water.
Car sinks. She swims out as car sinks below water completely submerged.
Friends stop to help.
Dude comes around the corner on a bike DUI and hits friends who stop to find her, which they could not do because car was under water. Completely past roof.
2009 Toyota Corolla saves her life because of air bags, water stop, and the grace of God.
Did I mention we were out of the country on vacation.
and you're buying her a replacement? wow.
Not sure if it counts as a funny image, but thanks for sharing.
Am I being too much of a dick if I suggest that certain other Young Lady posters here might note this warning about driving while extremely tired?
and you're buying her a replacement? wow.
I don't think I could do anything but buy her a replacement. The car is just "stuff" it saved her life, well that and something else which I can't just put my finger on. Insurance paid us off in one week and completely covered the cost of the car, homeowners insurance completely paid for the loss of everything in the car to original current replacement cost minus deductable.
Not sure if it counts as a funny image, but thanks for sharing.
Am I being too much of a dick if I suggest that certain other Young Lady posters here might note this warning about driving while extremely tired?
Two or three groups who have heard the full details have asked her to come and speak to their groups. One is a group of about 120 young soldiers in an aviation battalion of Apache Helicopters. They want her to speak to the young soldiers and let them know about the dangers of driving while tired and how close she came to death. We are loosing a lot of young soldiers and airmen.
I think Shawnee needs your insurance company details.
Auto: USAA
Home: Armed Forces Insurance Corp.
I don't think I could do anything but buy her a replacement. The car is just "stuff" it saved her life, well that and something else which I can't just put my finger on. Insurance paid us off in one week and completely covered the cost of the car, homeowners insurance completely paid for the loss of everything in the car to original current replacement cost minus deductable.
Has she corrected the circumstances that led to her falling asleep at the wheel? For sure I'd buy the same car again if i was going to replace it, I'm just not sure I'd be in such a hurry.
Has she corrected the circumstances that led to her falling asleep at the wheel? For sure I'd buy the same car again if i was going to replace it, I'm just not sure I'd be in such a hurry.
Agreed. I am not in a hurry. She is. I am not. She can go without for a month or two and know what it is like to go from wheels to nothing. And I don't drive her anywhere. Mom is a bit more soft. She can suffer for a bit and just be without. She feels the pain but will not complain, I know that it is a bother to her but she knows better than to complain to me about it. No, she will quitely wait until I am ready to buy her a new car or I know that she has suffered long enough without it. Let me tell you, no one can beat her up as much as she beats herself up over the accident. I don't need to add to her overt emotional pain at this point. Time will fix it. I am just not ready yet and she knows it and will not ask. She is lucky to be alive and we ALL know that, that is enough for us, for now.
Edit: On the correction, we have restricted her hours for time to be out and home. She is cool with it. It was all I could get to get her behind the wheel again and drive down the same road, the only secondary highway to and from our house and civilization. I finally had to put my foot down and force her to drive, by herself, alone, past her accident scene. I also forced her to take me to the site and walk me and her mother through the whole event, step by step, and relive it, 4 days after as part of a healing process.
Definitely a fortunate young lady. I'm sure she'll never forget that experience.
You are all blessed Merc. We've discussed this before, but don't let her forget what could of been. If she needs a gentle, or not so gentle reminder - have her call me.
Merc, I am so glad to hear she is okay. I keep looking at the picture of her with the car before...she looks so happy and excited about her new (to her) car. And then the picture of the water....close call. You are certainly blessed, as classic said.
Take her on vacation with you next time, Merc.
Take her on vacation with you next time, Merc.
Neva! :D
Thanks all for the kind words.
Holy shit! She is a very lucky girl... tell her not to push it, though. :headshake
Wow! Great car. She does understand how lucky she was, right?
I don't think you're being a dick mentioning that Zen.
Such a lucky lass. Scary when someone comes so close.
I remember when my best friend started driving (a late learner, but not as late as me lol) he used to drive way too fast when the roads were clear. Then he lost control of his car going 100mph went right over the sidings, clipped a tree and turned over four or five times. Ended up waaaaay off the road in the middle of some guy's field, lying on the driver's side. He had to climb out through the passenger window. He'd bumped his head on the window, but other than that and a couple of light grazes he was fine. He had pockets full of broken glass. The car was completely totalled. It was a hatchback van and the whole back part of the roof had been sheared off; the front of the car was completely crumpled. I saw the photos he took the next day (it was middle of the night whne it happened and he'd walked the five miles back). Couldn't believe he'd actually walked away from such a mangled heap.
he drives at a reasonable speed now.
Holy shit! She is a very lucky girl...
... She does understand how lucky she was, right?
Such a lucky lass. ...
Yeah, the glass of beer has remained intact. Phew! (jk)
HAAAAAA! that was my iced tea. :D
Good find!
You're a lucky man. Twice.
I'm glad she made it out unscathed.
Me (on the left) and my best friend, at the San Diego Wild Animal Park, 2006:
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OK - recipe in full, please ...
No prob....
1. Remove the two hardtails from pot.
2. Add two babes, warm gently while serving Patron™
3. When meat is totally warm and relaxed, lick behind ears and on neck to check for seasoning.
4. Enjoy immediately.
Alright, and this one. Anyone who has ever played a Role Play game can relate to this picture
But the guy that took this picture did.
.
.
This is to counter the sadness of xoB's IotD today.
Awww, how cute is that goggie?
That's not a pit bull, why did they ice him? ;)
...stirred, not shaken.....
Are we pretty sure that that dog isn't just being kept fresh before being served at the local Chinese buffet?
I was not really sure if this was a wtf, thread bomb or humor thread material.
And it's red, so when she runs into... uh, I mean meets, people she hasn't seen for awhile, she can say that crash was just a silly rumor. :haha:
Mom didn't think she would think it was funny. We parked it in the drive so she would see it when she got a ride home from school that day. She loved the message and now a week later it is still on the car. She said people honk and give her a thumbs up and the kids and teachers at school thought it was funny too. I think she got the message.
[SIZE="4"]A contribution to the minds that matter...[/SIZE]
He mixed the pills that explains so much now
I'm sorry, I'm still not getting it. Can you explain it some more? ;)
Huh? Michael Jackson DIED?
Oh, never mind.
But did you tell him about the Twinkie™?
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The FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU guy cartoon is a persistent meme
My youngest dau new car.
Wow. Are you looking to adopt an additional daughter so you have a spare? I've already been to college.
Dude, you're getting a divorce!
Do you need a maintenance plan with that?
This was a marketing campaign for something.
Oh, OK. That's why I've seen pictures of the same message on different billboards. :smack:
http://www.snopes.com/love/revenge/emily.asp
D'oh! *slaps forehead* I shoulda checked snopes.
Yea, but God what a great idea.
I don't know what most of that stuff was they were advertising, but I'm buying all of it.
The initial question is pissing me off.
Does sex in advertising sells?
Grrrr.
Needs an apostrophe :D
Does sex in advertising sell's?
No it doesn't; there shouldn't be an "s" in the first place, it's wrong.
Ahem, that was humour, TigerWind.
opps sorry I'm a little out of it
The initial question is pissing me off.
Grrrr.
Why?
It need's a fucking apos'trophy, okay'?
No, it needs an sdectomy.
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Ok Capy I can't read any of those, would you by chance have larger pics of those signs?
Ok Capy I can't read any of those,
Set something up with spexx - he'll get you some gooder glasses.
Sorry, tora... that's the way they were sent to me.
If that is what you have then it is cool.
:lol: at spector/pennywise.
anigif, sorry modem users
anigif, sorry modem users
that's awesome
Is that an Anteater behind those Foster Grants? :haha:
OK, one more
OK..I'LL STOP
so i lied
Hèhè great! :D
[SIZE="4"]Tiger's Wood:[/SIZE]
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And I now pronounce you lemming and wife. Or is it a dolphin?
I believe that is Admiral Akbar and an unknown female being married by Princess Leia.
I'm not sorry about her finger.
The good news is that as long as he has a dick under that outfit, reptile boy can legally marry that chica, and it is all peachy in the eyes of the religious right. Whereas a similarly sexed couple of the same species who might take getting married more seriously (and it is serious business as many of you will attest)...
I didn't know it was legal for a reptile to marry a human, or is that ok in California?
Serious? It's deadly.
Only to your self-esteem, bank account, mental health, physical health, emotional well-being, freedom of speech, square shoulders, sex life, hairline, sense of humor, joie de vivre, rational thought, sense of empowerment, sanity...
:eek:
Serious? It's deadly.
It's supposed to be terminal.:p
"Rectum? It nearly killed 'im!"
I believe that is Admiral Akbar and an unknown female being married by Princess Leia.
how nerd-like of you to know. ;)
I didn't know it was legal for a reptile to marry a human, or is that ok in California?
I'm a lawyer and I've been married twice, so, yes, it's fine for a reptile to marry a human in California.
[cue rimshot]
Trickle-down economics affect everything....
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Hm. Chinese is written top to bottom, not left to right.
Hm. Chinese is written top to bottom, not left to right.
Maybe it is Korean.
Hm. Chinese is written top to bottom, not left to right.
It's modern Chinese, and it is written from left to right.
Can you translate it for us?
lol
someone's sick of coolsville
Can you translate it for us?
It's been 14 years since I took Chinese class. I recognize those characters, so I should be able to translate it if I remember anything at all. :p: Sadly, the only words I still remember are:
I, at, not, ten, people, we, little, and. I'm tempted to open my textbooks to translate it because these characters are so basic that one should've learned them in Chinese 1 class. I am tempted but too lazy to actually do it. :lol: I'll let a Chinese person do the translation. :p: By the way, I'm Vietnamese. I can translate Vietnamese texts for you if needed. ;)
where the hell did Billy get to?
lol
someone's sick of coolsville
I guess Fred and Daphne didn't make the cut--to say nothing of Shaggy.
I gave my love a cherry
That had no stone
I gave my love a chicken
That had no bone
I told my love a story
That had no end
I gave my love a baby
With no crying.
I guess Fred and Daphne didn't make the cut--to say nothing of Shaggy.
I would love to know what the creator of that little piece was thinking or where it originated from.
I gave my love a cherry
That had no stone
I gave my love a chicken
That had no bone
I told my love a story
That had no end
I gave my love a baby
With no crying.
Reminds me of the Alan Sherman version:
I gave my love a cherry without a stone,
I gave my love a chicken without a bone,
I gave my love a baby and then you see,
My love got very angry and she said to me:
"I didn't mind the cherry without the stone.
I didn't mind the chicken without the bone.
But when you give a baby, there's just one thing,
You ought to give at LEAST an engagement ring!"
Great one Impress. I loved listening to his records as a kid. Never heard that one.
OMG Sarge, that made me crack up. I didn't see the bottom until I scrolled down.
Those shorts cannot be comfortable.
Can you translate it for us?
it basically just says exactly what the assignment asks for. i live in (some city), this is my job, i'm not too good at english but i understand some of what the white man says, i miss you guys, i wish you well, i miss you, how are you guys doing, byebye... more or less.
it basically just says exactly what the assignment asks for. i live in (some city), this is my job, i'm not too good at english but i understand some of what the white man says, i miss you guys, i wish you well, i miss you, how are you guys doing, byebye... more or less.
That ain't quite translating, dude. :eyebrow:
Now will that damned lamb be quite
Those shorts cannot be comfortable.
They're making
me uncomfortable.
Translation is not an exact science. I'll take you through an attempt on translating that bear thing. (Ibram might be able to over for me on the Kanji ... sometimes the same as Chinese). Starting top left, working across:
(north/ Hok-) (something/??) (way/ do) [probably Hokkaido, the name of the bear-rich Northern Island] then a map of Hokkaido (west at the top) then (something) (something).
Next line is in katakana, phonetic script (usually) indicating foreign loan-words (usually English), do-su-ke-be-a. be-a is probably bear. Su is usually pronounced "s", so we have doskeh bear. Damned if I can work it out.
Next line, katakana, Do-ro-ppu-su, probably drops, the can looks like it might contain throat drops / lozenges.
The box the bear is holding has Hokkaido on it in Kanji.
Bottom right, top line is katakana, gu-ra-na, probably gurana. Second line is Kanji: (something) (something).
The bear's underpants were recently purchased from a high school girl in Sapporo. The hearts and tissues indicate the bear is having a tug, and the bear's scowl is ... well, look at those claws. Ouch.
:lol: you are on form today, Zen. No School?
Another forum examining this picture had the following comment:
It’s a pun, Dosukebe means super lewd, Dosukebear is a portmanteau dosukebe and bear. The drops are for energy, as they are guarana flavored.
Also, "drops" almost always means hard candies, in Japanese food. A can of fruit drops was a significant recurring metaphor in
Grave of the Fireflies.
I thought that said 'guano flavored'.
What - you got nothing for
cake?
cake sux.
And not even well.
That Pie is way cuter than any darn cake! :)
WKOCWTDAI
What kind of car would the dude abide in?
The dude in a Mercedes? Only if he borrowed it from Maude Lebowski.......[ATTACH]27323[/ATTACH]
I need to get some of those stickers... really.
More like jokes...and one outshines the other two who are holding their ill gotten trophies in their hands...
Three invisible dicks
Hah!
After it's all over, you say "Ooh, what a lovely tea party".
You *could* teabag that mouth.
More like jokes...and one outshines the other two who are holding their ill gotten trophies in their hands...
The other is wearing his around his neck. No telling where his other hand is.
That is the bomb. I love it.
yikes pie! What a find.
I think it would be awesome to have a cat that big ;)
not quite what he had in mind when he told his friends he could go for some black p*ssy...
A two headed bobtail lizard, a type of skink, at its new reptile park home at Henley Brook in Perth, Australia. The two-headed reptile was rescued by the Park and appears to be doing well, despite a short life expectancy. It eats from both heads but the larger head has also tried to attack the smaller one, and its movement is difficult as both heads control its back legs. It also has a healthy sibling without any mutation. Bobtails give birth to live offspring, rather than laying eggs.
That's really strange - the one on the right has a head shape like a tegu, and the one on the left is more iguanid. Note the eye difference.
I normally avoid spraying nasty chemicals around, especially inside my house.
I make exceptions. That would be one.
omg thanks. Now I'm going to barf.
:lol: Cheesiest picture ever!
dude, you really got married in short sleeves with your cell phone on your belt?
really, like what call is he gonna take?
Man performing ceremony: "If anyone has cause for this couple not to be joined, speak now or forever hold your peace".
Cell phone rings
Groom: "Oh, really"?
That's horrible! Look at those bowl cuts. And the kid in the front appears to be missing a toof.
One of these things is not like the others.......
I'm not sure of step six guy. The bongo drums should be with guy #5. Number 6 guy looks like a hobo.
Hobos have shoes.
And you can sell those shoes after you kill them.
Not that I know anything about that...
Saw this and had to share
That chick blow-drying her hair looks like jinx.
No, jinx is awesome. See answer B.
Jinx wouldn't have to hang her head out the window, just give the windshield a withering stare until it cowers in the far corner. :haha:
You mean she would give the windshield the ojos until it got jinxed.
Very funny, but you shoulda put it
here...
For Jim.
"I apologize if that is a double entendre in your language, it isn't in ours. Ha ha."
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That is one cute tiger there sha
I just want to huggle him! I'm so going to be mauled some day!
What, huggling him, or me being mauled? It's OK if it's the latter, you won't be alone in the idea. ;)
My guy sent me a pic of a bear with chainsaw arms that reads: if you ever get mauled by a bear with chainsaw hands I hope he stays away from your face, because I think you are cute. :lol:
[COLOR="White"]!!!![/COLOR]
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I've been laughing about "4 PUMPS = 1 LOAD" for days now.
Cheezburger Network sites are my official, unofficial "break time" activity.
Very funny, but you shoulda put it here...
I woulda...but I didn't know
here existed.
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And now we're going to pause ten seconds for a 'Wet Cat Moment'...
We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread...
That's not a cat; that's a Gremlin... and it's WET!! RUNN!!!!!!
Not sure if this is really the right thread, more like "Some pics that I thought were cool but not quite WTF or IOTD" but this will work.
From a set of pics I found
here on Live Journal. Most appear to be 1970s New York but no idea on the rest.
It's difficult, but I'm going to limit myself to posting just two so check out the rest on your own. In the first, be sure to look past the foreground for a special surprise.
those were great! I lived through those times, but they still look so freaking foreign to me. I see pictures like this, and wonder what it would be like to be transported back into time, so I'm in the 70s as a 40 something. I'd absolutely hate it.
I think I work with that dude in the turban.
Or at least his cousin.
Those were the days.... days when a mom could hold her child over the gutter for a quick dookie.
What makes you think we can't do that today?
Besides, that's the car's hubcap showing behind her ass, the kid's just peein'.
Last year, I saw a woman doing that exact thing, with her child...
So, yes, people do, indeed, still do such things.
Last year, I saw a woman doing that exact thing, with her child...
So, yes, people do, indeed, still do such things.
Were they both peeing?
I don't think that's it at all. I think she just found a free naked child in the gutter.
Aren't all gutter children free?:eyebrow:
Aren't all gutter children free? Does this mean I have to put them back?
Heheheh. Kinda reminds of this chick I knew...:eek:
Were they both peeing?
No, the woman was changing her tampon.
No, the woman was changing her tampon.
Is that what the woman in the picture is doing? It looks like a baby.
Is that what the woman in the picture is doing? It looks like a baby.
She left it in too long.:greenface
She left it in too long.:greenface
Way too long.
She put it in, one morning, after having unprotected sex, the night before.
Three years later, she took it out.
So, what's with Code Name V walking with Katrina (from Katrina and the Waves)?
Plaid pants with Connies? Ech.
And why is she flipping off the photographer?
And on the left, what's with Emo Phillips and his murse?
And deck shoes with no socks?
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That was so bad it was good!
Dunno if I already posted this or not so ...
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[COLOR="LemonChiffon"].[/COLOR]
German Chancellor Angela Merkel:
thats a good compilation. I always found it odd the way politicians point without extending their finger. That however is a new twist.
thats a good compilation. I always found it odd the way politicians point without extending their finger. That however is a new twist.
Pointing is rude. That's what my mama always said.
I know - I think thats why the point with the knuckle of their index finger - very bizzare behavior outside of politics.
I know - I think thats why the point with the knuckle of their index finger - very bizzare behavior outside of politics.
Bill Clinton started that while on the campaign trail.
Bill Clinton started that while on the campaign trail.
Ha! you beat me to it. That was after a number of people called him out about it. Can you imagine that he did that all the time while he was Gov?:D
i don't know if he did or didn't, I just remember the change happening literally overnight. I think my dad may have pointed it out to me.
If someone snaps a photo of you while you're pointing, you'd better have the sunniest of expressions on your face. The slightest cloud on your brow, combined with a pointing finger, and the headline accompanying the photo will probably include the word "unhinged".
Obama seems to get away with it just fine. I think it's another one of those things PR people have convinced themselves is meaningful, like what color tie you wear to a debate, but no one actually cares about it.
That's because they are too busy ragging on him for breathing.:rolleyes:
Someone get that poor woman some acetone.
That's because they are too busy ragging on him for breathing.:rolleyes:
Right. He needs to stop.
Someone get that poor woman some acetone.
It's cured now, too late. We'll have to wait until she sheds her exoskeleton.
German Chancellor Angela Merkel:
I was thinking if you blur your eyes, this image looks a lot like a quilt
German Chancellor Angela Merkel:
She's making the sign of the womb - letting us know that she is the Sacred Feminine.
...letting us know that she is the Scary Feminine.
Fixed it.
I bet they make a killing at the county fairs!
I bet they make a killing at the county fairs!
Not immediately, but probably after 10 or 15 years of consistent patronage.
Southern eating at it's finest!
German Chancellor Angela Merkel:
All those pictures are her secret way of showing how big around her man has to be.
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He obviously has some kind of involuntary spasming problem with respect to the individual fingers of his right hand.
Even the name Turnwald is all mamby-pamby, fitting he's a lying suckwad too.
Perfect timing ........
Brian Turnwald
AND He left a young kid in the car .........
When confronted about parking in a handicap designated parking space, Brian first insisted he was not "parked," and then stated the handicapped people could park in another space. When we took these pictures we also realized that Mr. Turnwald left his son in the vehicle unattended!
Well, at least the son is a good boy. It says so on the car. Twice.
AND He left a young kid in the car .........
AAAND he's a big Dave Matthews fan....
Brian Turnwald is a white collar weasel.
That's not his son -that's his trunk monkey busy trying to bypass the security code on the stolen CD player he just installed. His kids are in the trunk. Dead. Since 9/11
Maybe he's an emotional cripple.
Well his finger isn't broken.
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a 1,000 pound grizz high on pixie dust - just what we need.
I do cocaine so I can work more so I can earn more money so I can do more cocaine so I can work more so I can earn more money so I can do more cocaine so I can work more so I can earn more money so I can do more cocaine so I can work more so I can earn more money so I can do more cocaine so I can work more so I can earn more money so I can do more cocaine so I can work more so I can earn more money so I can do more cocaine so I can work more so I can earn more money so I can do more cocaine so I can work more so I can earn more money so I can do more cocaine so I can work more so I can earn more money so I can do more cocaine so I can work more so I can earn more money so I can do more cocaine so I can work more so I can earn more money so I can do more cocaine so I can work more so I can earn more money so I can do more cocaine....
So that is your business model CG
Shhh.........
You'll rooooon it!
[COLOR=Cyan]/obscure reference is obscure?[/COLOR]
Shhh.........
You'll rooooon it!
[COLOR=Cyan]/obscure reference is obscure?[/COLOR]
Beyond the fringe?
I like 'em, but for consistency they should go in the political humour (is there a political cartoons?) thread.
Oh yeah. Forgot about that thread.
But that thread is deader than my cat
The thread is dead. Long live the thread!
I love the asteroid pic. It made me lol.
I love the asteroid pic. It made me lol.
Can't remember who used this as a signature:
". . .when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." -Friedrich Nietzsche
But this made me think of that:
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I like Rule 13.
It's the uncomfortable silence when you walk in on someone rubbing one out, and while they are staring at you, and you are staring at them, and suddenly you realize they are still going at it, nice and slow, the sounds filling the room....
Where's the party?:joint:
I like Rule 13.
It's the uncomfortable silence when you walk in on someone rubbing one out, and while they are staring at you, and you are staring at them, and suddenly you realize they are still going at it, nice and slow, the sounds filling the room....
I hate when that happens...
Football season is upon us ....
I hate when that happens...
Sorry.
Next time, I'll put a sock on the door.
Even the Vampires have come out of the closet.
Some way to earn a living, I saw this guy a couple of weeks ago in Edinburgh centre seems he stays like this for an hour or so at a time
:eek:
Some way to earn a living, I saw this guy a couple of weeks ago in Edinburgh centre seems he stays like this for an hour or so at a time
:eek:
I can do that standing on my head!
This is an amazing
picture. Of course, most of us will notice "cigar guy" in the background, so also: here are some
cigar guy photoshops.[COLOR="LemonChiffon"].[/COLOR]
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Anything pretty much beats clinic duty.
Behold: The Mind of the Hunter.
Its Hockey time, so I give you...
Puck Nut
Jesus at summer camp?, and How They Train Cowgirls.
[COLOR="Red"]Hey UT:[/COLOR] Winter's coming on, how about a turtle cozy?
I've heard of "long pig", but, long zebra?
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OMG!! It's a complete double fucking Storm Trooper!
[COLOR="LemonChiffon"].[/COLOR]
There was a pope joke during the previous pope's (the polish pope) reign.
What was the pope's first miracle?
He cured a ham.
What was his second miracle?
He made a blind man lame.
More food humor...I lol'd all over myself when I saw this.
Got to keep the pussy clean!
I love How I Met Your Mother. I caught this rerun last night: CRAZY EYES!
Reminds me of Bonnie Tyler for some reason.
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Somewhere there's a thread for exactly this sort of thing, but, damned if I can find it...
yeah its called "sometimes the stars align" or "sometimes the planets align" something about alignment, that's all I can remember. Can never remember where the fucker is. I wonder if some threads should be stickies.
Yep. Good memory.
If a mod-type wants, post #682 prolly oughta go
here. kthxbai
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OK, I get the off-road wheels and maybe even the helmet...but that shirt is HIDEOUS!
And he needs to pull his pants up higher
Every bride-to-be needs this (faux) magazine!
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The Sex of Objects----I said OF not WITH.
What if she just has a broken ankle or something? She is obviously supporting her weight on the shelf with her left hand.
What if she just has a broken ankle or something? She is obviously supporting her weight on the shelf with her left hand.
stop questioning the booze miracle!
Ahhhhhhhhh....
Nevermind....:D
@tulip
:lol2:
please tell me that was not near downtown!?! :p:
edit: reminds me of this: oh, might not be suitable for work....just turn the volume down. but your laughing WILL draw attention!
[YOUTUBE]6dA8gGoW57c[/YOUTUBE]
@tulip
:lol2:
please tell me that was not near downtown!?! :p:
Hehehe....I just got the pix from someone's FB. :p:
Every bride-to-be needs this (faux) magazine!
And for the groom to be:
Hehehe....I just got the pix from someone's FB. :p:
mhm. as long as it's not the spaghetti warehouse were're good!
[YOUTUBE]6dA8gGoW57c[/YOUTUBE]
You are dead to me now.
That is a funny as mouse poop in homemade soup.
sorry you didn't like it.
truly i am. i never want or mean to offend anyone. you know this.
I am not offended, I am teasing. but srsly? that made you laugh?
yeah, it did. i almost peed my pants!
but really? what exactly does mouse poop soup taste like?
i used to store ramen noodles under the counter at work. until the mice started eating them. i can only imagine the horror!
mhm. as long as it's not the spaghetti warehouse were're good!
haha....nopes, the Spaghettie Warehouse doesn't serve cats....umm...not that I'm aware of. Or maybe that wasn't chicken?!? :eek:
I am not offended, I am teasing. but srsly? that made you laugh?
I didn't find it funny but I can see many men finding it funny. Or even some women...
but srsly? that made you laugh?
yeah, it did. i almost peed my pants!
Meh.:headshake
alright *sigh* I unknowingly and definitely unintentionally crossed the line and for that I apologize. certainly didn't mean to do any harm in any form or fashion.
I didn't even watch it. I don't find prank calls funny unless they are pranks on the incoming telemarketers. People at work are just trying to get through the day and make a living.
Just in case some of you live in a warmer climate, here's what two feet of snow looks like.
Just in case some of you live in a warmer climate, here's what two feet of snow looks like.
:lol:
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This is what happens when Leo from "That 70s Show" works for MACCO.
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Hah!
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Love the snow feet, pretty cool.
That is all kinds of win right there
This looks like a fun tour.
They're just going for a drive in the cuntry.
indeed! it has so much lol-house potential and yet needs no embellishment
Impress: That is a super funny picture. Did you take it or did you grab that pix of the net?
Can't take credit for it. Found it somewhere in my wanderings online once upon an eon.
Lots more of that ilk on
WTFace.May the fork be with you!
(yes, I know I'm mixing science fiction metaphors, but I wasn't able to add flatware to "live long and prosper" as smoothly).
Mixing metaphors seems to be going around.
.
.
.
.
.
I am occasionally certain that all of the BPA that was taken out of water bottles and Tupperware is used to make the wobbly nuthouse forks.
I also suspect lead paint, asbestos, and other things that were banned in the 1970s.
That's not photoshop! That's my Uncle Wilhelm and his pet potato Spud Nick. He raised Spuddy from when he was no bigger than a chick pea. He peed on him every night and every morning fed him with a secret forumla. Alas, the secret went with Uncle Wilhelm to the grave, when he met an untimely end during a hillside photoshoot with Spuddy. We haven't seen Spuddy since.
That's not photoshop! That's my Uncle Wilhelm and his pet potato Spud Nick. He raised Spuddy from when he was no bigger than a chick pea. He peed on him every night and every morning fed him with a secret forumla. Alas, the secret went with Uncle Wilhelm to the grave, when he met an untimely end during a hillside photoshoot with Spuddy. We haven't seen Spuddy since.
I'd like an order of Spuddy Fries, please. Yes, with cheese.
... fed him with a secret forumla ...
bacon
The look really dorky, but at least they are dorky together.
True. There's someone for everyone. :)
The look really dorky, but at least they are dorky together.
They are both gay, but not for each other.
come on, people, lavender umbrella?
speaking of gay-looking 'staches:
.
Was that before they realized that men weren't interested in the head?
Was that before they realized that men weren't interested in the head?
I'm not sure. It was certainly before women realized how shallow and stupid men are. :p:
.
I heard about a guy who liked these...
Who was it...
What was his name...
Oh yeah...
Ed Gein.
I had to google Ed. He was just trying to get ahead in the world. Ba DUM dum!
speaking of gay-looking 'staches:
I have a friend that calls them 'dick brooms'
guffaw.
That is the best thing I've heard in a long time.
Yep, dick brooms! However, for me, it works two ways (the saying not the broom.) I've known some (so they say) straight guys with more ridiculously stupid looking 'staches than that, and they're always assjackets.
(nice shirt, dick broom guy. Did you steal that from a 2nd grader's wardrobe?)
The look really dorky, but at least they are dorky together.
Imagine me and you
I do
I think about you day and night
It's only right
To think about the girl you love
And hold her tight
So dorky together...
(my apologies to The Turtles)
I have a friend that calls them 'dick brooms'...
Were you swept away?
says the guy with the dick broom?
says the guy with the dick broom?
Says the guy with the sack-tickler?
:right:
"stuffed" Girls Heads.
Everyone should own one. :)
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This photo won first prize for this year's Taipei Photography Award.
I, too, would treat that chicken with suspicion.
ah, the advantages of having an "outie."
I think that chicken thinks his worm is a worm.
ah, the advantages of having an "outie."
Despite the many advantages of having an "outie", being menaced by a chicken isn't one of them.
Despite the many advantages of having an "outie", being menaced by a chicken isn't one of them.
That made me lol.
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How many memes do you recognize? Double-rainbow dude at Baltic?
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I agree with that one. We all meet at the bar.
grav I want that monopoly board.
Ha! I love that line from drew carey!
[YOUTUBE]h9kbRjZ55rU[/YOUTUBE]
Mediterranean
Love the "other side" Pic....
I think I have to print a poster now
That is a Dana poster for sure...
monkey? where and why did you post my childhood pic?
Hey, that DOES look like you!
I'm posting this one mostly because I love the little caption paragraph after it (well here it's before it because I can't make a sentence appear after an attached image):
It was the firstest house on the block with a pool. It’s totally the funnest neighborhood with the most specialest neighbors you can imagine.
(can I get a job writing for the cheez sites? I think it's my calling)
"Funnest" ... "firstest" ... "specialest" ... yet they use "most nice" rather than "nicest".
Memeopoly ... has that missed the LOLrus and his Bukkit? Like, OMG!
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Thank you for providing the perfect image for my Easter email.
(which is particularly fortunate because I forgot to send actual cards this year)
People have been calling me ma'am for a year now and every time they do, I wonder what old age will look like on me.
I visualize something like this. It's hard to predict.
BUT
At least she has a cool kerchief and a nice sweater and a weapon!
Nevermind bukkit, I can haz beret.
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Want. Fucking want.
Dear DanaC
Ask and you shall receive:
From this year's SakuraCon, which was *awesome*! I took this one with you in mind, specifically.
it's a BIG hat. The blow up kind. He's just really holding it on his head as he wanders as he wonders... or some such.
no reply from Dana. : pout :
That is so many shades of awesome.
I thought it was a he.
Only old witches have huge moles like that, I think.
Interesting. If an adult were in the same getup, that would have to be in the NSFW thread.
That war was one more than 10.
It was the really, really, big one.
"It's one deadlier, then, idn't it?"
Umm...Hey Big Sarge...
Want?
"It's one deadlier, then, idn't it?"
Yep!
Albert Einstein[I] - I don't know[/I] what weapons will be used in [I]world war three, but in world war four people will use sticks and stones.
[/I]Imagine what he would have said about WW Eleven...
If only my car was as nice as that one!! My ride is getting so bad, folks think I'm playing gangsta
My ride is getting so bad, folks think I'm playing gangsta
Aw, you just need to put some rims on that Crown Vic, and get some
real respect.
Saw this and found it somewhat humorous.
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It's funny cuz it's true.
And shall at the same time. When i work both the panel job and the track my gas costs $25 round trip from the casa.
While Sunshine State legislators were attempting to ban bestiality they mistakenly banned sex with animals, and since humans are animals, this could make the vacation destination of Florida somewhat less fun for the sexually inclined until it’s cleared up.
No joke - this is my mayor at the community yard sale yesterday. picture taken with a cell phone. I'm thinking about adopting those boots for my patrol officers
No joke - this is my mayor at the community yard sale yesterday. picture taken with a cell phone. I'm thinking about adopting those boobs.
ftfy
Want those bar stools! :D
[ATTACH]32395[/ATTACH]
Sarge, we have a lot of printed wellies over here.
Perhaps because most of our music festivals are muddy, so there's a big demand for them.
Example from an eBay seller below.
I want to ones with skulls on, but can't justify the cost when I have perfectly good black ones.
Might be hard chasing down the perps who are wearing $200 Nikes.
Sarge mentioned budget problems a while back...
Problem solved!!
hahahah
tha's funny! I picture Sarge climbing in the back saying "follow that perp!"
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Hey, I have a t-shirt with that Salvador Dali cartoon on it!
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AHA! Chicken-egg humor FAIL!
:eyebrow:
Takes
21 days from laid egg to hatch - no more, no less. 21 days, every time.
Nyeah!! :p:
Could be an
Osprey, not a chicken. You chicken-ist.
Could be an Osprey, not a chicken. You chicken-ist.
Well, except that osprey eggs are speckled. So, no.
Glinda's link isnt working for me, but ...
Are you sure about that? 'cause I recall reading that a hen will lay one egg per day until her clutch is complete, then the eggs (by means of some inter-egg communication) all hatch on the same day. This would mean that they cannot all take the same number of days.
I can't be arsed looking this up though. Anyone?
If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half then how long does it take a cricket with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?
Think of the baby chicks.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
AHA! Chicken-egg humor FAIL!
:eyebrow:
Takes 21 days from laid egg to hatch - no more, no less. 21 days, every time.
Nyeah!! :p:
Hey Glinda
You know, when geese fly in a V? Have you ever noticed that when they do that the number of geese on each side is never the same? Do you know why?
Geese can't count.
What makes you think chickens can? HA!
Hey Glinda
You know, when geese fly in a V? Have you ever noticed that when they do that the number of geese on each side is never the same? Do you know why?
Geese can't count.
What makes you think chickens can? HA!
:notworthy
I helped his smile a little bit, but, he looked preety happy anyhow.
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College Essentials?
I guess that covers Beer Pong?
ROFL...is Beer Pong an elective?
Charlie Sheen's coke dealer.
They've outlawed "truck nuts" around these parts. For spite, the thing now is to take two very large, real nuts (like you'd put on a very large bolt) and hang 'em from the ball hitch (get it?) with barbed wire.
Oh, and for some reason, Jeep owners (the ones that look like the old CJs) around here put little cowbells on their front spring shackles.
:confused:
I still see them around here. Funny.
It's strictly for Air Mail!
...and that's the hotel where I stayed on honeymoon in 1992, the Russell;
...and just under the plane's right wing is where I parked the rental car. Where it wasn't to be found the next morning, because we slept past the deadline for moving it, and they towed it away.
Ah, kids. Even the 25 year olds...
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Holy shit! That's hilarious. What idiots.
Holy shit! That's hilarious. What idiots.
I know. That apostrophe in "gay's" is totally wrong. Where did they learn that? Stop doing it!
HAHAHA - I was referring to the Urban Dictionaries description's of mincing. ;)
I was walking down an Asian shopping center aisle and saw this. Thought it was funny. They used to carry only purses and such. I guess they needed to expand their business. :p: And yes, pocket for your undies! :lol: You certainly should feel it if you're being pick pocketed. :p:
WTF is going on with the one in the middle of the top row? Is that built-in cameltoe?
Is that built-in cameltoe?
Like BootyPop?
It's all about tricking the male of the species.
It's all about tricking the male of the species.
:lol:
See how difficult it is? Men are usually so astute when it comes to women, and picky too. :rolleyes:
UD's descriptions were accurate.
Astute? Is that like Booty Pop?
WTF is going on with the one in the middle of the top row? Is that built-in cameltoe?
Oh, I didn't see that part. Really don't know. The next time I'm there, I definitely will take a closer look. :D So, yeah, y'all noticed those rear padded underwear? I thought it was hilarious. :D
WTF is going on with the one in the middle of the top row? Is that built-in cameltoe?
I fear the dark line is a zip[per] ... :worried:
Scary. Zippers have ... teeth!
Teeth and lips go together all the time. Don't be such a pussy.
Cross Keys has an excellent idea. You absolutely do not want hundreds of men running about with sharp knives and spices all willy-nilly.
Vagina dentata
I can't for the life of me remember the build up...but the joke ends like this:
The chick has been throwing herself at dude like all night, and he ain't going for it. Finally she just asks straight out "Do you just not want pussy or what?" He says "Oh no! I know about what you women got down there. There's teeth down there and it'll bite me off!!"
This just blows the woman's mind. She jumps up on a chair, pulls up her dress, drops her panties, and says "Now, do you see any teeth down there?"
Dude looks for a moment, and replies "Well, no wonder with gums like those."
You just have to be aware of Pillow Pants.
What does "mincing" mean in UK speak?
I think they meant it like the first two definitions here.
I have never heard the term.
Snapped on my way to the beer joint.
Chief Owmanose. Of the Flathead tribe, apparently.
hahahahahahahahahaha! ouch.
Planking: You're doing it wrong, Chief.
Narwahls, narwhals swimming in the ocean,
Causing a commotion, 'cause they are so awesome...
Snapped on my way to the beer joint.
Chief Owmanose. Of the Flathead tribe, apparently.
That's an impressive picture there......but what's even more impressive is the price of Marlboros.......$3.70? The tax happy bastards here are taking $6.50+tax to pay for the po folks.
As Dave Attell says of cigarettes in New York city "It's cheaper to smoke crack"
.
"It goes to eleven."
It really does. Not a pho'shop.
indeed! it has so much lol-house potential and yet needs no embellishment
A little Bitman makes everything funnier, right?
Right?
Hello?
That's an impressive picture there......but what's even more impressive is the price of Marlboros.......$3.70? The tax happy bastards here are taking $6.50+tax to pay for the po folks.
As Dave Attell says of cigarettes in New York city "It's cheaper to smoke crack"
.
KY has the cheapest cigs I know of. I bought a carton on my way through a couple years ago. In Ohio, they shoot at you every time you buy a pack. They want us all to be healthier. :lol:
Now to my joke:
One little two little
Three little indians
Four little five little
Six little indians
Seven little eight little
Nine little indians'
Ten little indian boys
(creakkkkkk, crunch!)
Ahem, nine little indian boys.
That's an impressive picture there......but what's even more impressive is the price of Marlboros.......$3.70? The tax happy bastards here are taking $6.50+tax to pay for the po folks.
As Dave Attell says of cigarettes in New York city "It's cheaper to smoke crack".
That's a sale price on "Special Blends". A pack of red killers is around $4.75-ish. Two packs tears a ten dollar bill all to hell.
BTW, I quit smoking way back when the chick behind the counter asked me $1.03 for a pack of Winston reds.:eek:
[SIZE="1"]ETA: How many double L words can ya get in one post? Sheesh...[/SIZE]
Bitman? Really? Honey! Glad to see yah!!
Snapped on my way to the beer joint.
Chief Owmanose. Of the Flathead tribe, apparently.
someone takes the lying down game very seriously
"Does this fur coat make my tail look gay?"
Hey, Nyan-cat, you sat in your own shit.
The Dong with the luminous ... - No, wait. That was something else.
American Idle...(chuckle)
Snoop & Willie.
Not a pool without P.
I dont think I could relax in that pool. Not because of the dog, but because of that ledge...!!!
I would put a dolphin in it to make you more comfortable. :lol:
Turn back, it's a BJ!!
That was classic, man.
Obviously callous husband or roommate doesn't either.
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Nice! I like the Aslan one as well.
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I don't think they're going to get any takers.
Honey Badger don't use no "badger crossing". Honey Badger don't give a shit.
too lazy right now but,
Nope.
Nikola Tesla
[ATTACH]34389[/ATTACH]
hysterical!
too lazy right now but,
Nope.
Nikola Tesla
[ATTACH]34389[/ATTACH]
weird.
Both say attached images, but the syntax is different. I know the method footfootfoot's used, but I don't know how ZenGum did his. Would someone please explain this to me please?
weird.
Both say attached images, but the syntax is different. I know the method footfootfoot's used, but I don't know how ZenGum did his. Would someone please explain this to me please?
W/the
![Image]()
thingy?
I hope I'm posting this in the right thread, but this was just way too cute not to post.
weird.
Both say attached images, but the syntax is different. I know the method footfootfoot's used, but I don't know how ZenGum did his. Would someone please explain this to me please?
1 Find pic somewhere.
2 Save to my desktop or specific folder.
3 Return to cellar.
4 Click Reply (avoid the "quick reply" function)
5 Click the little paperclip icon/button to open the manage attachments window.
6 Browse, select file, click upload.
7 Repeat as desired for other pics.
8 Return to post reply main window.
8 Either: 8.1 use the paperclip icon/button to insert your pictures
or
8.2 Write some text, post your reply and all your attachments appear at the bottom of the post.
8.1 use the paperclip icon/button to insert your pictures
[ATTACH]34407[/ATTACH]
I never knew of this option. I thought they always had to be at the bottom.
I'm trying it now with this water skiing loon.
edit: it works!
testing this.... if i want this uploaded pic to appear in a specific spot within my post, like I do with hot linked pics....
I click the paperclip,
[ATTACH]34410[/ATTACH]
OH! no shit!
once you upload a picture ( using manage attachments ) and go back to the text editor ....if you hit that paperclip, it gives you a drop down box of the attached images; and when you choose one...it gives you {[attach][/attach]} brackets! and it uses the attachment number. ( the above attachment is #34410) and it places the pic where you want it to be! You could just type these brackets out as well, i assume... as long as you know the attachment number to put between them...
I had always overcome what I thought to be a failing of VB, where attached pics always appeared at the bottom of the post, by context. I'd refer to the first pic or the second pic.... whereas with hotlinked pics ( using the [IMG] tags and a pic's url) I could drop a pic into a post where it made sense.
8 years a member of this forum, and I never knew it. talk about a pro tip.....
checking an assumption that the attachments are static.... the above post lists attachment 34410... i'm using the [attach ] tags and number 34409 to see if it will pull the pic uploaded one before the one I uploaded above.
so, pic 34409 is:
[ATTACH]34409[/ATTACH]
indicative of the fallacy of the assumption that attachments are given id numbers sequentially. must be some other method to it.
ok, so
[attach]34389[/attach] (the devo dogs)
is a valid attachment, but only appears if it's actually uploaded within the post. otherwise, you get a link to it instead...
confusing huh?
testing this.... if i want this uploaded pic to appear in a specific spot within my post, like I do with hot linked pics....
I click the paperclip,
[ATTACH]34410[/ATTACH]
OH! no shit!
once you upload a picture ( using manage attachments ) and go back to the text editor ....if you hit that paperclip, it gives you a drop down box of the attached images; and when you choose one...it gives you {[attach][/attach]} brackets! and it uses the attachment number. ( the above attachment is #34410) and it places the pic where you want it to be! You could just type these brackets out as well, i assume... as long as you know the attachment number to put between them...
I had always overcome what I thought to be a failing of VB, where attached pics always appeared at the bottom of the post, by context. I'd refer to the first pic or the second pic.... whereas with hotlinked pics ( using the [IMG] tags and a pic's url) I could drop a pic into a post where it made sense.
8 years a member of this forum, and I never knew it. talk about a pro tip.....
I didn't know that either, that's why I hotlink occasionally too. thanks.
I wonder if I can do it?
[ATTACH]34414[/ATTACH]
Hey, I did it, I did it!!!
This so cool, I ain't learning nothing else today!
Now...Is there a reason we shouldn't do this?
Why isn't my gif animated?
Is gif short for girlfriend?
Why isn't my gif animated?
Sometimes ya hafta play with it a little.
testing this.... if i want this uploaded pic to appear in a specific spot within my post, like I do with hot linked pics....
I click the paperclip,
[ATTACH]34410[/ATTACH]
OH! no shit!
once you upload a picture ( using manage attachments ) and go back to the text editor ....if you hit that paperclip, it gives you a drop down box of the attached images; and when you choose one...it gives you {[attach][/attach]} brackets! and it uses the attachment number. ( the above attachment is #34410) and it places the pic where you want it to be! You could just type these brackets out as well, i assume... as long as you know the attachment number to put between them...
I had always overcome what I thought to be a failing of VB, where attached pics always appeared at the bottom of the post, by context. I'd refer to the first pic or the second pic.... whereas with hotlinked pics ( using the [IMG] tags and a pic's url) I could drop a pic into a post where it made sense.
8 years a member of this forum, and I never knew it. talk about a pro tip.....
ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKING KIDDING ME HOLY SHIT BATMAN
I didn't know that either, that's why I hotlink occasionally too. thanks.
Well, I don't know how to do this. I have this vague feeling that it is in some way ... (sinsiter pause) ... bad ... so I never learned.
UT, is hotlinking okay? If so, someone wanna tell me how?
no. Hotlinking is teh BAD!
Oh but da-a-ad, all the other kids are doing it...
If all the other kids were smoking, drinking, and having sex, would you wanna do that too?
[Size=1]OK, bad example...[/Size]
UT, if you're bored someday it would be useful to have the ability to resize an image when uploading a file from url. Some pictures I run across are really too huge for the cellar. So it's either download and fix them locally or skip it.
It wouldn't need to have a lot of options. A simple "make it fit in 640x480" would do.
Ah here is a movie of my gif
[YOUTUBE]xkyR0ep9AI8[/YOUTUBE]
Heheh...that was kinda fun.
Why isn't my gif animated?
What if my Griff isn't animated?
What if my Griff isn't animated?
Sometimes ya hafta play with it a little.
That's what I've heard , anyway...
Someone's not a White Sox fan, doo-dah, doo-dah,
[ATTACH]34485[/ATTACH]
Someone's not a White Sox fan, oh-duh-doo-dah-day!
Well if a guy calls himself a whitesox, and wear black socks, he deserves a high five. In the face. With a fist.
Ah here is a movie of my gif
My friend's kids love those rabbid things. They keep sending screenshots to my WiiMail. They even have a WiiMote charger that's a giant rabbid.
Apparently spindling has gone out of style...
Finally. I can't tell you how many times I spindled before I read the warning about spindling. You can't really de-spindle, you're kind of stuck with the spindling you wrought.
About no mutilating, though...I have a real problem with that. Who are they to tell me what I can and cannot mutilate? Personal freedom, people.
IM you crack me up!
That's a mutual feeling. :)
Finally. I can't tell you how many times I spindled before I read the warning about spindling. You can't really de-spindle, you're kind of stuck with the spindling you wrought.
About no mutilating, though...I have a real problem with that. Who are they to tell me what I can and cannot mutilate? Personal freedom, people.
Topeka KS is on your side
Topeka, Kansas has decriminalized domestic violenceHey, wait, what?
You really don't want to know what I think about domestic violence, do you? I'm not sure you're prepared for that sort of wrath rant.
I'll save this thread... hang on:
WTF is that kitty jumping over?
Great Wall O' China?
No idea.
WTF is that kitty jumping over?
He's playing big scary panther escapes from the zoo and savages bystanders in the crowd, popping their eyeballs out of their heads and impaling them on his foreclaws and holding them up so the irises are all facing him and going "You lookin' at me?" before he eats them off of his claws one by one with a satisfying *pop* like they were bloodshot pearl onions.
And when he is done, he's going to saunter over to the gate and cry like a baby to be let back into his yard.
wolf, you know your cats.
Why do we have an 'insert image' option if we're not supposed to use it?
That's a mutual feeling. :)
Check your glasses,
Do Not Fold, Spindle, or Mutualate!
Why do we have an 'insert image' option if we're not supposed to use it?
You can use it, but only if the place that's hosting it says it's OK to use it. Like flickr or other image hosting services.
Why do we have an 'insert image' option if we're not supposed to use it?
Haven't you read
the Arabian Nights?
I spent the next thirty-nine days in much the same way as the first, but at the close of that time the ladies appeared (as was their custom) in my room one morning to inquire how I had slept, and instead of looking cheerful and smiling they were in floods of tears. "Prince," said they, "we must leave you, and never was it so hard to part from any of our friends. Most likely we shall never see you again, but if you have sufficient self-command perhaps we may yet look forward to a meeting."
"Ladies," I replied, "what is the meaning of these strange words-- I pray you to tell me?"
"Know then," answered one of them, "that we are all princesses-- each a king's daughter. We live in this castle together, in the way that you have seen, but at the end of every year secret duties call us away for the space of forty days. The time has now come; but before we depart, we will leave you our keys, so that you may not lack entertainment during our absence. But one thing we would ask of you. The Golden Door, alone, forbear to open, as you value your own peace, and the happiness of your life. That door once unlocked, we must bid you farewell for ever."
Weeping, I assured them of my prudence, and after embracing me tenderly, they went their ways.
Every day I opened two or three fresh doors, each of which contained behind it so many curious things that I had no chance of feeling dull, much as I regretted the absence of the ladies. Sometimes it was an orchard, whose fruit far exceeded in bigness any that grew in my father's garden. Sometimes it was a court planted with roses, jessamine, dafeodils, hyacinths and anemones, and a thousand other flowers of which I did not know the names. Or again, it would be an aviary, fitted with all kinds of singing birds, or a treasury heaped up with precious stones; but whatever I might see, all was perfect of its own sort.
Thirty-nine days passed away more rapidly than I could have conceived possible, and the following morning the princesses were to return to the castle. But alas! I had explored every corner, save only the room that was shut in by the Golden Door, and I had no longer anything to amuse myself with. I stood before the forbidden place for some time, gazing at its beauty; then a happy inspiration struck me, that because I unlocked the door it was not necessary that I should enter the chamber. It would be enough for me to stand outside and view whatever hidden wonders might be therein.
Thus arguing against my own conscience, I turned the key, when a smell rushed out that, pleasant though it was, overcame me completely, and I fell fainting across the threshold. Instead of being warned by this accident, directly I came to myself I went for a few moments into the air to shake of the effects of the perfume, and then entered boldly. I found myself in a large, vaulted room, lighted by tapers, scented with aloes and ambergris, standing in golden candle-sticks, whilst gold and silver lamps hung from the ceiling.
Though objects of rare workmanship lay heaped around me, I paid them scant attention, so much was I struck by a great black horse which stood in one corner, the handsomest and best-shaped animal I had ever seen. His saddle and bridle were of massive gold, curiously wrought; one side of his trough was filled with clean barley and sesame, and the other with rose water. I led the animal into the open air, and then jumped on his back, shaking the reins as I did so, but as he never stirred, I touched him lightly with a switch I had picked up in his stable. No sooner did he feel the stroke, than he spread his wings (which I had not perceived before), and flew up with me straight into the sky. When he had reached a prodigious height, he next darted back to earth, and alighted on the terrace belonging to a castle, shaking me violently out of the saddle as he did so, and giving me such a blow with his tail, that he knocked out my right eye...
Sooo...
If we use the insert image option, a black Pegasus will knock our eyes out?
Well, you gotta follow the link to find out how the story ends.
[COLOR="LemonChiffon"],[/COLOR]
Bastid stole my jakkit...
We couldn't give them away!
You should have offered them with a case of juice boxes and trail mix bags.
Juice bags.
Yes, many kid's juices now come in little bags. (Jebus CRIPES that sentence sounds awful!)
But when you say 'juice bag' you must enunciate very carefully.
(Just something else my brothers and I stumbled upon that makes us laugh like little kids. We're incorrigible.)
Yes, many kid's juices now come in little bags.
Why not just stick a straw in their belly button?
But when you say 'juice bag' you must enunciate very carefully.
What's Jew spag?
Here you go, grav:
[YOUTUBE]K_b3oPslctA[/YOUTUBE]
:lol:
Why not just stick a straw in their belly button?
Oh you gross, you. :D
Here you go, grav:
Heheh...(I saw that quick flash of Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute, too!)
[COLOR="LemonChiffon"].[/COLOR]
In the spirit of the season ...
There's a guy with "bullet attraction" on the SyFy show "Haven". Though it seems like few of the powers on that show are good to have.
I'm dumping a few here ... been on my desktop too long.
[ElaineBenes]Maybe the dingoes ate your baby.[/ElaineBenes]
Speaking of that lamb ... exactly why DO people eat lamb for Easter? Even considering the Rite of Communion, that seems to be taking that Agnus Dei thing to a terrible extreme.
Ham I understand ... it's all part of celebrating not being Jewish. But Lamb? Freakish. And it doesn't quite taste good, either. Come on ... you have to disguise that shit with loads of mint jelly to make it palatable ...
Lamb doesn't taste good? And you call yourself a wolf...
(I agree about the taste of lamb, but then I'm not a wolf)
Heresy... lamb is tasty, especially for folk who grew up eating wild game.
I grew up eating wild game. I like wild game. I do not like lamb.
For some reason it repeats on me, for days it seems.
Wolf, That's OK, you're just special.
Yes, I am. But not in a short bus kind of way.
Lamb shish-kebab is very tasty.
I like lamb provided it is not too fatty. Leg steaks are very nice (but expensive).
Regardless of whether lamb is delicious or just tastes weird still doesn't answer the question of why we eat two different allegorical representations of an avatar on the same holiday ...
I suspect we eat lamb for Easter because Christianity is just a sect of Judaism. Lamb was traditional for passover, so...
Also it's easy to forget in our Whole Foods Market world, but up until recently most people ate whatever they had on hand at the time. Both Easter and Passover occur in the spring.
typical spring time refrain:
"Holy Christ, what are we gonna do with all these fucking lambs?"
Ham I understand ... it's all part of celebrating not being Jewish. But Lamb? Freakish. And it doesn't quite taste good, either. Come on ... you have to disguise that shit with loads of mint jelly to make it palatable ...
Looks like the butcher gave you some mutton instead of lamb. As for mint jelly, eeew.... Do you suffer from halitosis ?
I make meatballs out of ground lamb. They are fantastic.
"These lamb meatballs taste like dirt!"
"Well, the lamb was ground this morning..."
Thanks folks, I'll be here all week.
Try the Rogan Josh
We cook lamb at least 2 or 3 times a month. But hell, peeling that Jesus dude off is a bitch! Yummy!
Thanks folks, I'll be here all week.
Try the Rogan Josh
You're a funny man, foot. You're also a liar, since we all know you'll still be here long after a week, but you're a damn funny liar.
Speaking of that lamb ... exactly why DO people eat lamb for Easter? Even considering the Rite of Communion, that seems to be taking that Agnus Dei thing to a terrible extreme.
Ham I understand ... it's all part of celebrating not being Jewish. But Lamb? Freakish. And it doesn't quite taste good, either. Come on ... you have to disguise that shit with loads of mint jelly to make it palatable ...
You used the blood on your lintel for passover, what else can you do with a bloodless lamb but eat it?
Looks like the butcher gave you some mutton instead of lamb. As for mint jelly, eeew.... Do you suffer from halitosis ?
Mint Jelly is a necessary lamb condiment over here. Lamb is the one thing Americans don't put ketchup on. And we rarely see mutton.
And we don't have butchers anymore ... or hardly anymore, anyway. There are a couple of private butcher shops near me, but most of our meats are safely encased in plastic wrap on a styrofoam tray in the supermarket.
Who knows how old the lamb is by the time we get it?
I have actually enjoyed lamb-burgers, but haven't seen ground lamb in the market in quite a while.
...And we don't have butchers anymore...
Try looking for a small slaughterhouse. Like the ones where you'd take a deer for processing. Most of the ones around here work like a neighborhood butcher shop. If they don't have what you're looking for, they can put you in contact with the people who got what you need, you buy the animal from them, have the slaughterhouse butcher it for ya. Some will even sell off what you don't need for ya (say you just want half a lamb, but, you can't find anyone to go halfsies).
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[COLOR="LemonChiffon"]`[/COLOR]
Denslow: Now wait a minute, hear me out! Now you kids with your loud music and your Dan Fogelberg, your Zima, hula hoops and Pac-Man video games, don't you see? People today have attention spans that can only be measured in nanoseconds.
I know a woman named Gloria Clitz. True.
When I was a kid my grandma had sublet a room to a Ms. Prick :eek:
PS: I read the sign as MEGA CLUTZ
We've secretly replaced Gravdig's onions...
Fourth bag in from the right ... what the hell is in that? Not the not-onions, that other weird looking thing?
Looks like a small hairless cat!
Embryo of some kind, anyway.
Looks like a small hairless cat!
A shaved pussy in a corn hole?
Sorry but I couldn't resist ;)
All your cornhole are belong to us.
Bear Humping.
Bear Humping.
EXCUSE ME!
BEAR..... FUCKER!
DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE?!
I think that would be funnier if the bear were wearing a ballgag.
You will all be relieved to know that Tineye does not have any hits for that image.
Remember Officer Asshole who pepper-sprayed the little black girl?
He needs spend about six months with Officer Friendly here.
Never thought I'd say this, but... FVCK YOU, soup!
[COLOR="White"]...[/COLOR]
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That's "The Trouble With Tribbles".
Jesse's girl was a moron.
I just realized I stared at that for about 5 minutes, trying to encourage the baby to get the spoon. I must be tired.
Not five minutes, but I totally get what you're saying, kero. "Get the spoon, kid, there, you almost got it...oh, it's looped." :lol:
A Rick Roller!
Dude! That was clever! :D
It doesn't happen very often.
The opinions expressed in the below graphic do not necessarily reflect those of the poster.
I sent that Santa facebook comic to my nieces. They loved it!
that is one cool Hello Kitty.
I also like the Hello Kitty tarot deck - the Death as Hello Kitty on a pony is toooooo cute!
I really need a gif of hello kitty doing the 'fore and middle finger pointing at my eyes and then pointing at you' thing.
Not YOU 'you.' Just 'you' in general. 'You' know who 'you' are. :lol:
Two words: Muscle tone.
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Loose skin + high wind speed = flapflapflap. :lol:
I imagine that would hurt after a while.
Here is one for footfootfoot ~~~~~~~~
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Volume Two will be out as soon as they can finish translating it from the original Venusian.
Here is one for footfootfoot ~~~~~~~~
Thanks!
Merry Christmas Star Trek ... (just go with it)
[SIZE="1"]from "Uneasy Rider '88" by Charlie Daniels[/SIZE]
...then he put his hand on my knee
I said "If you don't get your paw off me,
I'm gonna locate your nose around on the side of your head."
He said "I love it when ya get that fire in your eyes"
I said "Well, partner, try this on for size"
And when I unloaded on him, he went out like a light.
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That is certainly a WTF to me.
WTF is he doing, his Sandusky impersonation?
Who is the guy on the left? Seems familiar, but I can't think of a name.
The left side of the image. The large man with the paper penis's right side.
Why is Big Sarge sitting with the VP?
:smack: I'd even thought of him, but I decided it didn't look right. :lol: poor Joe...
And why is Steve Carrell giving Biden the stink-eye?
Anyway...
That is certainly a WTF to me.
WTF is he doing, his Sandusky impersonation?
That's one big kid, if it is. :eyebrow:
It's a silly picture. For one thing, why was everyone staring at him? I'm sure he left his hand there for like an hour, caressing and kneading.
He probably reached out for a friendly pat on the leg, and the camera caught him on the leg. And those people are all not looking on him in horror as he hits on the dude from F Troop. Stupid 'shop. For what? Oh look, Biden's teh ghey?
They aren't staring at him. They are staring past him at the obnoxious photographer making a lot of noise during the reading of the names of the fallen officers. The photographer who took this picture.
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Well, that's definitely Donald Sutherland sitting behind them.
Donald Sutherland and Steve Carrell, together again for the first time, in Joe's Boys.
It's a silly picture. For one thing, why was everyone staring at him? I'm sure he left his hand there for like an hour, caressing and kneading.
OMFG - Shush up. we were kidding. NO ONE made a big deal out of it, other than you. :neutral:
WTF? You shush up. I can't say anything? How did I make a big deal about anything? I posted another picture!
you'd think it's from your own personal photography collection.
NO ONE made a big deal out of it
I kind of made a big deal about it. At first glance it looked like they were giving Biden the stink eye. And it was funny! But it also seemed incorrect. I thought their eyes were aimed near Biden, but not at him. So I did some digging and kept the topic going.
IM tried to change the subject with that WTF German computer picture.
I don't know what that was about, except that he knows me really well and knows when to kick me like a dog. He's reverted, we were doing so well. He's like the Fox News of the Cellar. :lol:
Isn't this the funny images thread? Quit making fun of classic's pictures, then. This is serious. ;)
And thanks, glatt. :)
I was feeling rather butt hurt. For a second.
infi and classic sitting in a tree...
You're up a tree, footfootfootfootfootfootfootfootfoot!
Sorry Shaw. Guess I took your post wrong. Please retract the claws.
You're up a tree, footfootfootfootfootfootfootfootfoot!
....and no deardeardear are coming by...... :lol:
...I was feeling rather butt hurt...
Here:
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:lol2:
I love the butthurt form. :lol:
Grav that stool is brilliant!
I grabbed that image for my collection. My doctor will love it!
Am I the only one who thinks that a young Harrison Ford looks a lot like a young David Hasselhoff?
Han doesn't need a hookah.
He prefers to be solo.
I don't know what they were auditioning for.
But I want every single one of them. I'm jonesin' for a kitteh cat.
More pics here:
http://www.retronaut.co/2011/11/black-cat-auditions-in-hollywood-1961/Oh, cool, they were auditioning for Tales of Terror. Look at Vincent Price and Peter Lorre playing with the kittehs.
There are more pictures here:
http://www.catsparella.com/2011/01/1961-black-cat-horror-movie-auditions.htmlI don't know what they were auditioning for.
But I want every single one of them. I'm jonesin' for a kitteh cat.
Pets or Meat?
Pet, silly goose.
mmmmmmm. goose. :yum:
A FB friend who is a religion prof posted this over on FB.
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It's funny because fart jokes are always funny. (Fact/Fart typo)
In email today:
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Recycled/reused I know, but, still...
I think that that's the first image I've seen of Jesus without the long hair and beard.
You smothered our Lord and Savior! Bad dog!
Innovative Christmas decoration
The dolls these kids get today...
"Flash"? :eyebrow:
"up and .... down"? :eyebrow:
No. 2282?
OMG that's the evil number, right after 66Six.
Up down round and round and get out of here.
Will it go round in circles?
Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky?
I guess most folk just buy it for the music.
Most folk buy it for the articles.
Will it go round in circles?
Will it fly high like a bird up in the sky?
Billy Preston.
Awesomeness.
Playing right now.
:jig:
At the cow wash
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Talkin' about the cow wash, yeah
Come on ya'll and sing it for me
(Cow wash)
Ooh, ooh, ooh
(Cow wash, yeah)
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Coloration reminds me of World Cow.
In other news; The Dude Peekaboos!!
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Looks like 2011 was hard on everyone, even Tweety.
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Oh, I just realized I posted yet another pic of a naked chick. Sorry for digging the Cellar deeper.
This chick's cheeks look like a badly shaved nutsack
Have a history of close interaction with badly shaved nutsacks, do we?:lol2:
Sorry to disappoint you, but no, I don't do that.
BrickzCity2009 you magnificent bastard!
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:lol2:
I coulda been the next Freddie Mercury?!
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Here, some of you are qualified:
I'm glad I log on at home and not at work these days.
I made a hideous sound gargling my own spit when I read that.
Haggis squared
An average monkey ranking at $38,000, I admit I'm curious about the salary of an infinite one. ;)
But you should have tried others:
Prick: $28,000
Stupid: $54,000
Idiot: $51,000
Ass: $44,000
and, of course...
Gun Master: $41,000
The best I found was Sundae: $68,000 :)
It just stopped being funny.
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Ain't it the truth.
Well at least he knows he's a fuck up.
The last few of these have been brilliant. I keep thinking, oh I'll post aboutthat and then the next one makes me lol as well.
Two in particular struck me as hilarious: the tourettes t-shirt, and the nellyphant.
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That dog is doing the Muttley laugh.
That dog is doing the Muttley laugh.
How do you spell that? Hhhh Hhhh Hhhh
???Not sure. There should be a k in there somewhere, I think.
This would be a useful street sign...
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:lol2:
that's awesome
:D Only a lab could have that reaction
What is going on in the alleys near Sesame Street??
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Snicker.
The children watched A Muppet Christmas Carol before we broke up for Christmas.
Over the break I did ponder how the offspring of a frog and a pig could possibly divide along gender lines to produce male frogs and female pigs.
I concluded that they had adopted.
The Angry Birds make much more sense.
???
When a frog and a pig multiply, the much more sensible product is a bird?
What?? Your new maths hurt my brain.
That's not a bird, it's a green pig.
Of course it is. Thank Henson.
<-- overtakers ................... undertakers -->
And we're here.
Stuck in the middle with you.
Stuck in the middle with...a flatbed? In the rain?
That doesn't even have a beat, and I can't dance to it.
Stuck in the middle with...a flatbed? In the rain?
That doesn't even have a beat, and I can't dance to it.
'Cause it's a country song, all about the heart and real life and stuff. :lol:
"I wuz stuck in the middle
Behind a flatbed mobile
My head, it was hurtin'
The rain, felt lahk steelllll..."
yfts
:D
Donuts
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Nuttin' to see here.
Just a squirrel and his nutsack...
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:D
(well, I don't get the boss one...but the rest is good.)
A friend on Facebook was saying that every one of these graphics in this current meme should end with a panel that shows the person designing the panel itself instead of doing whatever they are supposed to be doing.
I had no idea until you posted that that it was a meme. I got the FA one from a colleague. :blush:
I like that idea. Mine should show me making this post on the Cellar. ;)
I had no idea
Here's a collection. I've seen 4-5 on FB.
The boss one: the boss thinks you are getting mad loot and laughing all the way to the bank. i.e overpaid and underworked
It's highly incorrect then. No boss I've had in this business has ever thought that. My boss knows I don't get mad loot. I barely got sad loot at my old job.
Lately though I've been underworking. Sort of a lull student wise but very busy reporting wise and semester conversion and new year set up wise. I actually do get a lot done when I'm not hanging on to the Cellar for dear life. ;)
Like I said, I'm burnt out.
how about a sitcom called "The Financial Aid Office" only it wouldn't really be funny
Oh, I have stories...
It's a good idea, sort of a cross between The Office and Community, though.
See, here's my idea: pssssspsssst ppssstpssttssssst.
I don't want anyone to steal it.
is the hole in the sign a trick shot opportunity, begging to be violated?
The guy in Classic's post reminds me of Cotton Hill, Hank Hill's father, who had his shins blown off in Korea.
his legs do look like they are missing several inches
"You must be this tall to play this course."
Just made it.
Does that mean that your kids grow up to be a_ssholes? Booooo.
Human Centipede---On Ice?!
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Wait what?
That image is entirely, completely, irrevocably, undeniably, unquestionably, without a shadow of a doubt WTF.
WTF is that about anyway?
It's about the basis for a system of government.
Or the lack of said basis.
What?
I guess I need someone to draw me a (better) picture.
************************************************************
Anyway, came across this pic on the net, AGAIN, and decided to Gravdigr it up some:
[ATTACH]37656[/ATTACH]
Why is that guy so short?
Grav, it's a Monty Python quote, but I don't know why it's a poster thingy.
Dunno if the poster is related to
this website, but it has a compatible viewpoint, and the full quote is there, anyway.
eta: Almost certainly unrelated, as the site doesn't appear to have been updated since 2003.
Wait what?
That image is entirely, completely, irrevocably, undeniably, unquestionably, without a shadow of a doubt WTF.
WTF is that about anyway?
I get "Lady in the Lake", Sword in the Stone, Avalon, King Arthur's Round Table, etc... needed today
Why is that guy so short?
Got his shins blown off in Iraq?
Grav, it's a Monty Python quote
Ok ok...I went to the link, and the quote, "Help, help, I'm being repressed!" brought it back.
I see, said the blind Gravdigr.
DENNIS:
Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no
basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power
derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical
aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR:
Be quiet!
DENNIS:
Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power
just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR:
Shut up!
DENNIS:
I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because
some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me
away!
ARTHUR:
Shut up, will you? Shut up!
DENNIS:
Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR:
Shut up!
DENNIS:
Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help!
Help! I'm being repressed!
there's at least 3 good user titles in that bit!
And I'm takin' one ...
Me too! :D
That would be a feckin awesome idea for a silly summer synchro swim routine. I have already informed the Heebster and suggested they use coconut shells to herald their arrival at the pool's edge...... she may be up for it, I will post video if it happens....
Me too! :D
there, done!
That would be a feckin awesome idea for a silly summer synchro swim routine. I have already informed the Heebster and suggested they use coconut shells to herald their arrival at the pool's edge...... she may be up for it, I will post video if it happens....
Looking forward to see it
That would be a feckin awesome idea for a silly summer synchro swim routine. I have already informed the Heebster and suggested they use coconut shells to herald their arrival at the pool's edge...... she may be up for it, I will post video if it happens....
Especially if the all have highly buoyant foam swords and swim to the bottom of the deepest part of the pool and let the swords go at the same time so they all shoot up out of the water.
Awesoem finale
I bet that really jacks with astrology, too.
It is the precession of the equinoxes that jacks astrology.
And I'm takin' one ...
kingmaker
Me too! :D
kingmaker
That would be a feckin awesome idea for a silly summer synchro swim routine. I have already informed the Heebster and suggested they use coconut shells to herald their arrival at the pool's edge...... she may be up for it, I will post video if it happens....
kingmaker
there, done!
Looking forward to see it
not a kingmaker.
um, wrong thread. that is definitely a wtf picture. whoa.
if that's real, it's awesome.
The guy with the Taser looks to be having a little too much fun.
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I don't get distracted nearly as easi--I want ice cream.
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God forbid I ever end up working at CVS, that is exactly the kind of thing I'd do. I imagine the person who did that was woefully over qualified for the job and just trying to keep his or her sanity.
Plus, it's fucking hilarious.
:)
I saw one of those on a night scuba dive. He was just sitting there, his mouth opening and closing. He looked scary, but found out later that's necessary to their respiration.
He was waiting for something to eat to come along. As the instructor for this advanced scuba class told us: you don't look like something they want to eat. And the barracuda feel the same.
Glad the scuba instructor and the barracuda are in agreement on that point.
My instructor was Ann Wilson.
My instructor was Ann Wilson.
Did she go crazy on you?
No. ;)
She had the cutest chocolate lab puppy though. Gosh. That's been so long ago, that dog probably isn't around anymore. To me, they are frozen in time...I'm the one who aged. She was very cool.
So it wasn't the
Ann Wilson in Heart?
No. Um, that was the joke though. Was I too deadpan?
Because it wasn't even really a woman NAMED Ann Wilson.
I'm a bit off today.
That's Mr. Tubesteak to you, pal.
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No wild animals.
Oh, yeah? Who ya gonna fine?
:eyebrow:
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That's Mr. Tubesteak to you, pal.
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Radar's new business????
He do the tube steak boogie
I humbly submit to you sir, that that chair, and the picture thereof, consist solely and entirely of 'What The Fuck'.
If I sat in that chair, I would feel as if I were backing into her womb.:headshake
You never sat on a woman's lap?
Forgot i even had this until it showed up in my backgrounds. Image credit to GalenaLarkin (i assume deviantart.com).
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You never sat on a woman's lap?
Well, yeah...
...but when the legs are spread
that wide, if I go in, I'm going in face first.
[SIZE="1"]If you're picking up what I'm laying down...[/SIZE]
The Alien Queen, tripping through a starry rainbow...
:lol2:
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[SIZE="4"]= 42[/SIZE]
Not sure where this picture belongs, so here it's posted.
[CENTER]Just a couple of kilometres from here.
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Oh yeah! We have the
Dick Institute over in Ayrshire, too!
Oh yeah! We have the Dick Institute over in Ayrshire, too!
What's a stitute?
I find it absolutely highlarious that there is a museum called "Burns House" at the "Dick Institute"!
:lol2:
The formula for understanding women?
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Oh, Hai.
That's fucking hilarious.
You're Welcome, Ladies!
If he were travelling in the other direction I'd fear he was jet-propelled!
I think it's his momma....
I think that was Johnny's favorite piece.
Ahahahah. I had to look at that for a minute before I got it.
from a friend on FB. She said her cow orkers did this to a chap who chewed gum in a VERY loud and annoying way.
I damn near cried with laughter:
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Funny.
well played!
Ha!
Well, "played".
I think that was Johnny's favorite piece.
Johnny once told me his favorite piece was Sally.
:p:
Smoke grenade instructions:
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I wonder what the french translation for that line is.
I wonder what the french translation for that line is.
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:lol2::lol2::lol2:
Ahahahah. I had to look at that for a minute before I got it.
I didn't get it until I googled vuvuzela.
sGeez, don't you remember all that crap a couple years ago when for some reason soccer was on TV all the time here? And everyone wanted to shove the vulva-zelas up someone's vulva?
Anyhoo, my friend had to learn Mendelssohn's Songs Without Words on piano, but she thought it would be better to play Mendellsohn's Songs Without Notes: REST, two three four REST two three four...
for some reason soccer was on TV all the time here?
You mean the Olympics??? :eyebrow:
It was the World Cup in South Africa.
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:lol2::lol2::lol2:
:lol:
Unfortunately, Google is not your friend when it come to slang translation. In fact, it doesn't know dick about that.
A dick in English can be either an idiot or a penis. Hence the translation "
une bite".
To stay with the same signification, I would have used "
une tête de noeud" which can convey the same two meanings.
Not to mention that "dick" as referencing the male member, in French, is "quequet".
Do not ask how I know this.
Pam
Trans is one thing, Pam. Dual citizenship is *too far*!
Not to mention that "dick" as referencing the male member, in French, is "quequet".
Do not ask how I know this.
Pam
A visit in "Le Marais" neighborhood in Paris?
And that's "quéquette" and mostly used by children. "Zézette" is for the female counterpart, again used by children.
hang on...doesn't 'ette' at the end of a word mean it's feminine?
hang on...doesn't 'ette' at the end of a word mean it's feminine?
Yes, it does hang on... ;)
More seriously, the suffix "ette" is usually a diminutive
- fourche (a pitchfork)
- fourchette (a table fork)
- table
- tablette
And so on...
But yes, a word with that suffix is feminine.
holy mother of fuck, want.
All I can is that the neck of that monstrosity had better have come off a cheapass Mexican P-Bass or a Chinese Squire, and not a decent instrument. Meh.
I hope the radar dish can tilt and swivel - and thus function as some kind of effects device. :D
[SIZE="1"]From cracked.com[/SIZE]
Whatcha think? Resemblance, or no?
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[SIZE="1"]Bunch o' heavy-lidded hippies...looks like Hillary inhaled, too.[/SIZE]
Deleted original.
I thought you were referring to grammar (because of your next post)
Luckily I had another look.
Before I had an unnecessary and embarrassing outburst.
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Male/female:
I think that (on the superficial society-expectation level of the source material), the "physical fitness" line could be switched.
Also, I thought it might have been an optical illusion, but no. Those lines are all crooked.
Switch them all. I'll Die Alone is my mantra.
Cat Logic on the other hand is awesome.
Maybe they should change their name to 900 Nickelsback.
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I thought that was just the opening line to get in her panties....
Isn't that what all the boys say?
I prefer to think she's going commando...
Who don't like a Turkey and Coke?
This guuuuuyyyy.
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Took me a moment to remember that is the driver's side, too. :shock:
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I like his style.
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So seriously monster and I saw that very same sign at the Tire Discounters down near Miami U.
The Tire Discounter store here always has a hilarious thing on their board but I assumed it was just the clever management of that one store. Apparently, the chain tells them what to put, which rather disappoints me.
But this one was funny.
One of the liquor stores a couple towns over used to put funny stuff on their sign. One day I drove by, and the sign said:
Tony said "Change the sign.", so I did.
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I feel driven to wish you a happy father's day, friend.
Thank you my good man, but, I'm no father.
Hope you had a good one yerownself!
Yes, Virginia, there really is a Batman...and he can't drive for shit.
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I'd be pissed if some jerk batman wannabe slammed into me while tooling around town, but years later I'd have a good laugh over it. I mean, wtf?
I'd have to take a picture of it for sure.
Lol!! Yeah, I'd be like "WTF, man?! Why don't you try to drive, ya dumb bastard, instead of trying to look all Batmanny and shit?! Smile!"
As a carnivore-style shopper, I find this appealing.
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As a pushy, deceptive man who is proud of my moustache, I take exception to that last gag there.
I'd be pissed if some jerk batman wannabe slammed into me while tooling around town, but years later I'd have a good laugh over it. I mean, wtf?
I'd have to take a picture of it for sure.
You're assuming it's Batman's fault, whereas Insurance companies have shown people that drive customs like that are more careful and have less accidents.
Is that actuarial assessment reflected in lower premiums? Is there a contrary factor driving up premiums based on the higher replacement/repair value of the customs? We beater-drivers want to know.
Yes, much lower. There are several companies specializing in collector cars.
"After struggling laboriously to defeat the Joker, the Penguin and Catwoman, Batman decided a simpler approach was called for in the case of the Green Lancer".
You're assuming it's Batman's fault, whereas Insurance companies have shown people that drive customs like that are more careful and have less accidents.
Interesting. But I believe it.
"After struggling laboriously to defeat the Joker, the Penguin and Catwoman, Batman decided a simpler approach was called for in the case of the Green Lancer".
Interesting. But I believe it.
I'm not going to buy anything from Flint now.
Just to prove I am still young at heart.
(whereas really I'd go for the jellybeans)
As a pushy, deceptive man who is proud of my moustache, I take exception to that last gag there.
Are you desperate too?
In Texas, that's pronounced "desperaDO".
And the answer's probably yes.
Is there a thread for "you're fired" images? :lol:
Is there a thread for "you're fired" images? :lol:
There is now. ;)
I should probably be offended by this one, but if I couldn't laugh at myself at least a little, I'd be dead right now.
MST3K!!!
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"I'll steer...you stow the oar and see if you can grab his bobber as we go by"
"OK... I knew it was going to go badly when the dumb ass stood up and unzipped his pants."
I sent that pic to my fambly...retrievers rock!
I should probably be offended by this one, but if I couldn't laugh at myself at least a little, I'd be dead right now.
so....
do you throw gang signs fluently?
Ironman...ur doin' it wrong.
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Hahahahahaha. Oh fuck me that made me laugh.
LMAO! Me too Dana - literally made me laugh out loud
Not sure where this should go. Also, I want to ask if there's really a sign like this in Australia. Someone in facebook put this up and wondered. Thought I'd ask the Aussies here. :p: It is also rather funny too.
. Here - maybe this will help ...
Ahahahahahahaha.
Well done.
:lol: You hemispherist, Classic.
Uhh, I think there *are* real signs about train manners, but there are also heaps of fake ones going about on the net.
Dave sits in the quiet car.
Dave shuts the hell up.
Good on you, Dave.
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That chick in Ibram's post just won't shut up...yak...yak...yak...her mouth never stops moving.
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Like a boss...
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I'm guessing that there moggy is a regular visitor to those fast food places...and I am also guessing they're generous with their scraps.
That chick in Ibram's post just won't shut up...yak...yak...yak...her mouth never stops moving.
Someone needs to slap that bitch down!
yeah, but they hand over $50 and get let out. The principle is the same, but the price has gone up.
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Honest ossifer, I only had the one beer.
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This burger is incomplete. I don't see any bacon anywhere on that thing. Send it back.
"Um...waitress? I ordered the double cheeseburger."
Simply irresistible, unless you're the worm in The Big Brag
Would be WTF if I didn't know it was from last night's Colbert Report...
cut and paste for diy rotoscope
That's some quality journalism there. :right:
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Isn't that ad a little dangerous considering all the apple lawsuits? lol
I think it's making fun of same.
Cougar on the loose...
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took me a second coz he fit in so well...
Why is that young woman tickling Jesus?
Maybe she's trying to get a rise out of him?
took me a second coz he fit in so well...
Jebus is always with us.
Baby Chewie.
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Grav - that is SO CUTE! I want one.
I love both of those.
they remind of Calvin's contribution to surreality (surrealism?).[ATTACH]40689[/ATTACH]
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Much of that baffles me.
I was much crazier in 2008, so I'm saying better off now anyway.
Oh shit that happened to my friend's dog when I was playing catch with him. He smashed into their boat and had a fucking seizure. i had no idea the dog was epileptic and I thought I had killed the fucking thing. I got my buddy 's mom to come out of the house and she popped a pill into his mouth and he was ok a few minutes later.
Payback for all those times the tree got pissed on.
Payback for all those times the tree got pissed on.
THIS is why I love you, Bruce! :D
Whoever threw that frisbee shouldn't be allowed to play with dogs.
He smashed into their boat and had a fucking seizure. i had no idea the dog was epileptic and I thought I had killed the fucking thing.
Oh, damn. I laughed so hard I cried.:sweat::lol2:
I throw like a proverbial girl.
Not like a real girl, most of whom can manage hand-to-eye sports pretty well.
I can pitch pretty well to seven year olds in scratch rounders.
But any older and you'd be saying I shouldn't be allowed to play with children either.
And you might be right.
Oh I was being a bit flippant. I think most dogowners have at some point done a bad throw and inadvertently sent their dog crashing into something.
At least it was a frisbee. Stick throwing accidents are amongst the most common causes of serious injury in dogs.
Running the red laser dot under the couch is the source of a lot feline injuries. And human laughter.
It's all fun and games until someone ends up in a cone...
It's all fun and games until someone ends up in a cone...
That made me lawl.
It's all fun and games until someone ends up in a cone...
:lol:
Oh shit that happened to my friend's dog when I was playing catch with him. He smashed into their boat and had a fucking seizure. i had no idea the dog was epileptic and I thought I had killed the fucking thing. I got my buddy 's mom to come out of the house and she popped a pill into his mouth and he was ok a few minutes later.
'zac thing happened to me. I was playing catch with my friend's dog, he smashed into their boat, had a seizure and my friend's mom came to the rescue with some anti-seizure meds.
don't feel too bad about it, foot.
I think it's pretty common.
'zac thing happened to me. I was playing catch with my friend's dog, he smashed into their boat, had a seizure and my friend's mom came to the rescue with some anti-seizure meds.
don't feel too bad about it, foot.
I think it's pretty common.
Maybe they have been watching the American Wrestling Federation,
and are just faking it to get more attention ? :rolleyes:
What would we do without friends' moms?
Well if we could learn to keep the DOGS separate from the apparently ubiquitous BOATS we wouldn't need so many friends' moms!
What would we do without friends' moms?
Get laid one time less by the time your twenty?
That threw me for a minute because... it's Yom Kippur today, and the observant Jews are fasting right now!
I hope they understand some Jewish dietary requirements... ;)
That threw me for a minute because... it's Yom Kippur today, and the observant Jews are fasting right now!
;)
Don't you love ornithology? The nomenclature, anyway ...
Our school put on a production of The Mikado when I was in 8th grade, and for auditions we had to sing 'Tit Willow', which goes on and on about Tom Tit and Tit Willow. Just try to imagine yourself as an 8th grader singing that in front of ... well, everybody. :rolleyes:
I hope they understand some Jewish dietary requirements... ;)
Why?
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:eek:
lulz--reminds me of this one
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:eek:
I would buy that
We've come a long way baby...
Hebe might like this picture!
You know it's a meme when the otters get in on it...
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:eek:
I would buy that
Me too, the concept of pop-up phobias is mind bending. :lol:
The first photobomb?
Courtesy of
Retronaut. (I LOVE that site.)
I remember these ads in my Teen magazine! I'm so old!
Can you figger 'em all out? I got all of them.
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I'd do Tom, Hugh, and maybe even Clint.
If I ever win the lottery, I'm coming into the office one last time to do this:
"Right lane must right left"
I actually did laugh out loud.
I love absurdism.
Ohhh man. I am still laughing.
it was the murder victims/bits of string that clinched it for me, and took me from chuckling to guffawing to losing it.
That's from David Thorne's site, 27B/6:
http://www.27bslash6.com/
He has an ongoing campaign of tormenting Simon and his other coworkers.
One of his best posts is
"Missing Missy" a series of emails back and forth and passive aggressive posters he designed for his co worker who lost her cat.
You'll laugh until you stop.
27b slash 6? I guess it's for American Brazilian bureaucracy instead of British.
How many zeros are there in an American Brazilian?
27b slash 6? I guess it's for American Brazilian bureaucracy instead of British.
Actually, he's Australian.
@ Zen,
How Long is a Chinaman and How Many is a Brazilian.
OMG. The Dominos and the David Thorne postings are hilarious.
i wish I'd had the guts to do something like that. The only 'bad' thing I ever did to an employer she totally deserved and I'm not sorry about it.
"meow, this is Bobbity Bob, rowr!":rollhappy
Gonna post this cause it's so awesome, rather than start a new thread.
I think David Thorne should be confined to the NSFW thread. I peeked at his web site on my iPad during rounds today and kept laughing out loud during a presentation on metal fume fever and manganism.
Awesome, foot3. Thanks! :D :thumbsup:
This popped up on my Tumblr dash and I thought of this thread, and wanted to share, not even realizing it was the same guy. Still, it's going up because i love him.
'Our primary language is screaming'
Love it. I am chuckling as I type.
This is great, if it actually happened:
[ATTACH]41578[/ATTACH]
I'm no fan of fake pick-up lines, but that's a pretty good story ... if true. :)
And the guess what? ... chicken butt! photos - priceless!!
...Until it turns out the guy is a sociopath who gives her HIV before dropping his fake accent and disappearing forever.
More likely herpes, but still ... yeah. Not much chance it really happened, though. Wishful thinking, I suspect ...
damn y'all!! can't we just like get the clap or something as to just take a pill or two?
:lol2:
damn y'all!! can't we just like get the clap or something...
Giggity.
hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Joe/Barry:
Who's pitching?
:lol:
I want to party with her!
I think we could all party with her :lol:
I think I make the same face...
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I think I make the same face...
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As the one on the top, or the one on the bottom?
Sent by thought transference
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I would
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Excellent.
I don't get the bald one though. I mean, it's Photoshopped. But is there something else?
It's Jim Parsons (Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory.)
I got it IM :sweat: <wiping coffee off keyboard>
The UPS man graced me with a visit today, and along with the stuff I had ordered, they included this bumper sticker. Free bonus I guess. :haha:
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I think this goes here. I made this up a few weeks ago.
I was hearing on the radio her husband (though I think it's 'ex') was named Narvel. They said he should marry Deborah Norville and take her name and be Narvel Norville.
Hey, morning drive time...it seems funny when you're half asleep and half scared to death.
blah blah blah blah
unfortunate ribbon incident, I must have a dirty mind ....
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Customer: Is this neckline too low?
Salesgirl: Do you have hair on your chest?
Customer: (indignantly) NO. Of course not.
Salesgirl: Then the neckline's too low.
@Jim - I got my mother one for Christmas!
Better than Epic chipmunk or wood chuck or whatever.
Umm, too soon after Pearl?
Love the Grandma with her cookbook though.
That'll be me in about a year.
Nah it's OK.
I did have to delete my Boston Terrier bookmarks, Facebook Likes and sub-Reddit subscriptions.
Cats & dogs, dogs & cats...
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Oh no.
Since it got cold (by our standards in Aylesbury) the boy has been snuggling all night with me in bed. Not licking or biting my chin, not treading on my hair, not laying down a noisome log in his tray and then jumping directly on my nipple to wake me up to enjoy the smell.
When you're sleepy, it's snowy outside and you know you have another eight hours before you get up, there's nothing that beats a loving cat stretching himself along the length of our torso.
Oh, except sharing a double bed with said cat, so there is room for you both to move apart when you get too hot. I had to have the window open last night at -3. I have the lightest duvet ever but I'm still such a heat-emitter at night, it's too much even for Diz some times.
Still. He is more dog than cat, and thinks I'm awesome.
@ Grav: awesome. I love that.
Choc, you know they carry chlamydia don't you?
That poor innocent man...
[COLOR="LemonChiffon"]The punchline is in the reflection in the coffee table.[/COLOR]
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[COLOR="LemonChiffon"]The punchline is in the reflection in the coffee table.[/COLOR]
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LOL twice
Yep, I think we did.
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Hahahahah that's brilliant.
LOL twice
bad shop is bad
Brrr! I hate a cold seat!
Many years ago, for New Year's, I stayed at a friend's cabin up in the mountains of Pennsylvania. No plumbing. Only an outhouse. You would think using an outhouse before turning in for the night when it's like 5 degrees out would be an unpleasant experience. But it's actually pretty nice. There is absolutely no odor, since everything in the pit is frozen solid. And they had a wintertime seat cut out of rigid foam insulation. That seat was cold for about one second when you first sat down, but it warmed up immediately.
Better than using an outhouse in the summer.
That looks like England..?
My hot Valentine's date tonight:
Dani, you're right..
Obv not the cheeky outhouse, but the car makes, models, licence plates.
MTP, you got a better date than me gurl.
Although last night I had a series of peculiar dreams.
Like really WTF, even though I couldn't take images.
But the one I had just before I woke up, was me getting off on a bald man's head. And I did actually orgasm - woke up in the aftermath. Now that almost never happens in dreams, let alone ones which are seriously NOT erotic.
...And I did actually orgasm - woke up in the afterglow...
FIFY.
getting / giving head (not sure in the case of your description of your dream...) is *not* erotic?
That looks like England..?
you English are so industrious. No wonder a tiny island like yours colonized the world. Here in merica we'd be content with just doing a toilet seat, but you guys did it all------newspaper and everything. Details-----it's all in the details.
@Sundae - did you say you crawled OFF a bald man's head?
a bald man is another way of saying, you know,
cock, so I imagine if you crawled off of one it was a keeper?
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soooooo funny!!!!
those are some ridiculous socks!
I hope those are malted milk balls.:(
ETA: Filename says 'roo socks', but, aren't those wallabies/wallabys/a pair of wallaby?
I don't recognize the flag, but, apparently their military can be idled by a flock of sheep...
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...or they take their sheep herding very seriously.
Is that Dukakis in the back?
White, 6 wheel chains, I'd guess Austria.
Is that Dukakis in the back?
Looks like OD Green to me.
:p:
...I'd guess Austria.
If that's the country flag on the front of the APC (or whatever), I believe you are right.
I had to look up the flag [ATTACH]43267[/ATTACH] on Wikipedia, as our smilie page's flag section does not have the Austrian flag. I looked twice and couldn't see it there.
Herzlich Wilkommen
on the sign. Pesky Germans of some sort.
HEY!!!
Us Germans have never done anything to deserve being called pesky....
But, piss us off, and your country will disappear. Ask Poland.
We were invited. Punch was served.
In the mid-seventies Boston Edison ran this ad. :haha:
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The picture on the left was taken in 1870. The picture on the right was taken in 1860. I am now forced to conclude that Nicolas Cage and John Travolta are vampires. That is all....
I've heard cats fuck with better harmony than most of today's pop stars.
...neatly combining my statement into one picture.
Bravo, Bruce.
You magnificent bastard.
note to self: carry a magic marker and look for coat/purse holders. women's bathrooms ripe with possibility.
That's great, dana!
He doesn't care if you love him. He still wants to fight you.
I know, I know. But in the morning will he be repentant?
Not unless you had make-up sex.
So that's where tentacle manga comes from!
Apparently so. Who knew Hentai had such a long and illustrious history?
Deep, deep in the psyche.
I thought it came from wolf's ex (or even current) clients.
Deep, certainly.
Ooh. I missed that. Probably for the best.
It does explain the fishy smell......
Ahh, Japan, a land with a long and noble history of kinky sex.
This is amazing, just kills me...
[LIVELEAK]1d7_1364741927[/LIVELEAK]
A remake of "Midnight Express"?
/Don't understand? Go watch the movie.
//Ohhhh, Billy...
///The Guard was also Bluto In "Popeye"
////The More You Know...
Great movie. Sort of like Deliverance but without banjos and hashish instead of canoes. Yeah that's it.
Not to mention the guard tangling with Drunk Octopus at the end. You know what I'm talking about.
And here you thought the Bunny Hop was dead.......:rolleyes:
JR
Great movie. Sort of like Deliverance but without banjos and hashish instead of canoes. Yeah that's it.
Not to mention the guard tangling with Drunk Octopus at the end. You know what I'm talking about.
There ya go...
I'm not sure but that song was catchy
Yep. It's the next Macarena.
It reminded more of this scene from Baraka than it did anything from Midnight Express.
[YOUTUBEWIDE]RkxuPxdsZ58[/YOUTUBEWIDE]
Grav ... two laughs and I snorted my wine across the desk. :thumbsup:
This is amazing, just kills me...
[LIVELEAK]1d7_1364741927[/LIVELEAK]
Almost a week late, as usual, but ... this is the reason men should not be allowed out by themselves. Weird shit always happens.
If weird shit's going to happen, women should at least be invited ...
Wait. I'm allowed out by myself? When did this start?
At divorce. Read the fine print. ;)
"I liked it!"
~Vladimir Putin
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one of them thar virgins for putin mebbe?
I quite like the new wave of European Feminism. It seems anything is Feminist so long as you have your boobs out. :ggw: :corn:
You sound like Putin. :haha:
I'm a feminist in my sleep then.
Good. Now I feel like I'm contributing.
It seems anything is Feminist so long as you have your boobs out.
I'm a feminist in my sleep then.
I'm being a feminist rfn!
@ grav: The Rebel Base. Oh dear me. That is fucking funny.
@ Infkey: Sweet :)
I'm not entirely sure Einstein ever said 'barf'.
*************
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I'm not entirely sure Einstein ever said 'barf'.
*************
Einstein was just quoting another magnificent genius. :rolleyes:
[YOUTUBE]yJnhEiDuJbc[/YOUTUBE]
[YOUTUBE]yJnhEiDuJbc[/YOUTUBE]
Intentional 100% intentional
That's German comedy gold!
You make me lachen, Frau Clod
It's comedy krugerrands!
?
She thinks South Africa and Germany are the same place. She's blonde, roll with it.
Ach, German goldmarks, not krugerrands! Some part of my brain knew that, but it's tired and dead. My father would be so disappointed in me.
You have to admit though, Krugerrand does sound like a German word. It practically begs to be "Das Krugerrand."
Well I think it is Afrikaans, which is Dutch that has been left out in the sun too long. And Dutch is just German with something caught in its throat.
Heheh, they'll never find me.
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He just has to be a bit thinner than any other giraffe in the neighborhood.
...and now we know.
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:lol:
Yet another reason to practice the V-sit in yoga.
Eeeew!
That's rank.
Real women walk out of that establishment.
Because why?
Because if you have tiny pulling panties on, you do not want them smelling of piss-drips.
Nasty.
...smelling of piss-drips.
Well, there
is paper...
[YOUTUBE]iaUW9FOY62o[/YOUTUBE]
via
OMG, thank you, I am so tired of feeling all alone in my painful reminiscence about how ƒucking terrible Rob Leifeld was. Can I get a witness? Anybody with the slightest sense of anatomy, basic illustration skills, or aesthetic sense?
You know what the saddest part is? I've seen him do good work. When he made an effort, he was apparently capable of a decent Jim Lee knock-off.
I do not, however, think he know how to draw people in normal clothes--without every muscle fiber, straining tendon, and bursting-forth mess of jumbled vascularity somehow pushing through the--for some reason--cellophane-thin surface of, say, a pair of khaki pants.
The problem with Cap, above, by the way isn't necessarily that the chest is too large, it's that the body is drawn from the side and the chest is drawn from the front. He doesn't feel the need to reconcile this not making any sense because he started with the sheild (at a perfectly, improbably round-presenting angle) and then just filled in around the edges. There is no anatomy--real or imagined--which links the different parts of the body together. The 'massive pecs' actually have no depth at all--about half an inch maybe? And he doesn't bother adding any dimension to the belt buckle--it's literally four pen strokes, and then the whole thing fizzles out with some shitty cross-hatching on the crotch, presumably designed to instruct the viewer, "you're looking at the wrong part"
By the way...where's the rest of his arm? Amputated below the elbow?!
Rob Leifeld is a shit sandwich.
WWJD?
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That's WJWD.
OMG, thank you, I am so tired of feeling all alone in my painful reminiscence about how ƒucking terrible Rob Leifeld was. Can I get a witness? Anybody with the slightest sense of anatomy, basic illustration skills, or aesthetic sense?
I've always been interested in comics, but never a collector, except for bound-together collections by various authors I already like. So I was spared the indignity of discovering Liefield as the new illustrator for a book I had a vested interest in. But the various "Liefield sucks" pages on the internet have amused me for a while, and when that "via" link came up, I opened all of the pictures it linked to, and laughed a bit. But when I came to the one I posted, I laughed out loud for a solid minute.
And I still laugh a bit each time I see it.
"or Captain America *cosplaying as* a Belgian Blue"
rotflmao
Dear Rob,
It's not rocket science. Take a moment to think about where body parts connect on humans. The clavicles meet in the middle, indicating the area where the neck emerges--equidistant to two shoulders. Follow the midline down to the crotch (which is three-dimensional) and there are two legs.
It says 'ceiling fan'.
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I've done this, only with wood screws instead of duct tape.
This is in the living room of the farmhouse we are renovating.
Does it work? Looks like it draws warm air out of the living room and into the attic. I imagine it would help a lot.
Yes, it works a treat. Came in very useful while we cleaned the attic and put down tar paper up there last month.
omg, chris, that's the funniest CL ad I've ever seen. I'm well acquainted with the breed too.
Whoa ... I'll pass on that one as well.
Someone had to actually design this logo and someone else had to accept it...
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hahahaha love the matchbook!
At first glance, this looks like a cartoon making fun of the goofy creationist, for thinking that a billboard they bought is a sign from God.
But no. This is a cartoon
by a creationist, trying to 'zing' the atheist.
At first glance, this looks like a cartoon making fun of the goofy creationist, for thinking that a billboard they bought is a sign from God.
But no. This is a cartoon by a creationist, trying to 'zing' the atheist.
it's a commercial advertising the site for advice in genesis dot somethingsomething. look at the url in the "sign" and compare it to the copyright watermark in the first panel. not a comic to speak of, just an advertisement.
a graphic demonstration of Poe's Law.
Sort of. They actually put that billboard up somewhere (not Times Square, of course), and it made some local news, so they are treating it as a common reference that their readers would get.
So it's sort of a reference to an ad that contains the ad.
Jean-Luc, Gandalf, and--ELMO??
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Did you know that Ian McKellan married Patrick Stewart[COLOR=White] and his wife[/COLOR]?
No, but, in that tank-top, I now know why he's called Gandalf The White...
Did you know that Ian McKellan married Patrick Stewart[COLOR=White] and his wife[/COLOR]?
Heh, would that be supporting gay marriage, or not?
Seeing as Ian's gay.
Jean-Luc, Gandalf, and--ELMO??
[ATTACH]45707[/ATTACH]
love their hats
Funny Car Pictures Oct 21 - 2013
Funny Car Pictures Oct 22 - 2013
Motorcycle WTF
love their hats
Yeah, kinda like Walter White meets the Rainbow Pride parade...
Welcome to the Cellar, Triple 0!
Cute!!!EWWWWWWWWWW!
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Not as cute as the above, but pursuant to the previous posts.
Cute!!!EWWWWWWWWWW!
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Not ewww! That bat's cute. I've always had a soft spot for bats.
Hiya tom, welcome. :-)
thanks
Holy shit!!!!!! That bat's as big as a bear!!
I can bear the big as a bear bare bat. This one is cute. After all, bats are like the rest of us, they've gotta eat, and what do most of the North American bats eat? Mosquitos and pests like that. They probably keep West Nile virus down to a grumble. I'm not complaining. That's as cute a bat as I've ever seen.
Rabies, do not want!
Keep your bats off my body!
I never said I wanted it on my body (rabies, do not want either!). I said it was cute.
How to bother a hipster:
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pah, EVERYONE knows that's Lenny Kravitz
Are you sure that's not Michael Winslow?
Dude, that's Obama, and it's a doobie
I found this via a link xob sent me...not the intended subject, but a tangent there of....
anyway, it's a great picture that I first saw on Johnny Carson a million years ago when Arnold was promoting Conan II or something.
it's amazing how tiny Arnold looks between these two giants.
Wow. That van is teh bombdiggity. I don't know which is awsomer, teh van , or dude's hair.
Linda Vaughan called, she'd like her boots back.
:D That's a watch for dog-time !
One seventh of the time, it's also correct when read upside-down.
WANT!! I never get tired of seeing this. I don't know if there is more than one or if they're all this particular balloon.
If I had one, I'd suspend stadium loudspeakers, a la 'Apocalypse Now', and blast The Imperial March at rock concert volume.
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Initial letter: Just stupid.
The response: Priceless.
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Very funny, but I don't think it was some asshole, just some everyday Irish pricks.
Whoever captioned this pic, deserves money.
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I guess you could say I have a dark sense of humor.
I lol'd.
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Oh I really like that one.
Damn, Grav, you're on a roll.
I'd rather be on a muffin. [SIZE="1"]If you're picking up what I'm laying down.[/SIZE];)
I love that idea.
But having my Serious Head on...
They shoulda got genuinely scratched up. Woulda bin teh funnier.
Of course I'm saying that because Diz has been very... playful recently.
Now you can't send that to school in your kid's lunch because of the peanut allergy bullshit.
do we have a :haggis: smiley?
do we have a :haggis: smiley?
Oh, that would be good!
Sent by thought transference
lemme try. Here's a haggis gif I made. Looks more like a brown smudge.
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So, you were going for photorealistic then.
Don't taint Andy Serkis with that.
The simplest of mistakes... it could happen to anyone. :eek:
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It's a Christian gay-marriage march.
It's a Christian gay-marriage march.
:thumb::thumb::thumb:
They're doing the rainbow wrong...
OMG, they're POOR, Grav!
Not everyone can afford all the colours.
Ah.
**************************************
Unrelated:
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I'm kinda ashamed at how hard I laughed at the IE comic. We all know someone like that.
The cash machine for when you’re running a bit short.
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Short of money? This could be just the ATM you need — it is 15 inches off the ground outside a Sainsbury’s Local in Nottingham and people have to bend, squat or kneel to use it.
The cash machine also appears to be even too low for wheelchair users. A spokesman for the nearby World of Mobility said: “It would need to be at least 30 inches up, plus 10 inches for someone to be able to reach the keys.”
Steve Drury, 27, a musician, posted a photo of it on Facebook.
Sainsbury’s said: “The ATM is on a hill which caused it to be built so low. We have never had any complaints.”
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Well...
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...I'm outta here.
Oh, I'm so relieved they're discreet... :rolleyes:
Penis, ha ha. Anyway really, there's a George, Washington? :eek3:
Penis, ha ha. Anyway really, there's a George, Washington? :eek3:
Yes, Virginia, there *is* a George, Washington. You go there to see
the Gorge at George.I was surprised because I've spent a lot of time working and playing in WA/OR, and if I'd ever heard of it I'd remember it.
They snickered at his penis? That's just fucked up.
And rude.
Don't laugh. It's in South Yorkshire, by the way.
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http://growpenistone.org.uk/You guys have quite a few place names that are borderline vulgar in polite company. Mostly victims of language usage changes while the names sit there for hundreds of years.
I'm wondering if they pronounce it something like pen-ston, or pen-s-ton?
Penny-ston.
Sent by thought transference
Ah, thanks limey. :thumb2:
I would have guessed "Wooster".
Better than penis toad, I suppose ....
I swear to God, Ima try to work the phrase "I have a well-toned penis." into a conversation today.
If I can't work in smoothly somehow, I'm just gonna blurt it out in the middle of someone else's sentence.
"Blah blahblah, blah bl-I HAVE A WELL-TONED PENIS!-ah blah. Blah..."
If I can't work in smoothly somehow, I'm just gonna blurt it out in the middle of someone else's
;)
No wonder they're always out of ipecac:
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No wonder they're always out of ipecac:
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I thought that was pretty amusing.
I guess even adults need incentives. :)
Ripped from the comments for a Yahoo article about 36 hour fasting:
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Take a bite, then let them go...
I think it was Ortho and 3-foot who were having a repartee about Dirty Math, but don't remember where, so I'll park this here.
Aaannndd ... I clicked on this at work this afternoon and now I've probably been labeled. Whatever happened to NSFW??
WTF, that's certainly safe for work. :eyebrow:
Who was that label I saw you with last night?
That was no label, that was my wine!
...and now I've probably been labeled.
As a mathematician?
All along we've had
Occam's Razor to guide us in our search for the truthful solutions.
Well, now we have the diametrically opposed
Penelope's Rayzor, to remind us how big a fool we can become with ignorant righteous indignation .
Haha!! She sounds like a
Modern Jackass.
A couple years ago, friends of hers were traveling in Europe, and they are walking through these old buildings. And these people do not know anything special about architecture. But you know how it is when you're a tourist. They're walking through these buildings, and they're looking at the doorways and the tiles. And they decide that they think that this one building has a very Moorish influence. And they're pointing out details, and saying the Moors this, and the Moors that. And finally, one of them turns to the other and says, you know what? We sound like we're in a magazine, a magazine called Modern Jackass.
Modern Jackass. Of course, there is no Modern Jackass. But ever since I heard that story, I found myself referring to Modern Jackass all the time. It's incredibly useful, and it could be useful to you, to back out of all kinds of awkward conversational situations.
Nancy Updike
The thing about Modern Jackass is, it's usually not something about which you know nothing. It's something about which you know a little bit, enough to sort of get yourself into trouble.
Who was that label I saw you with last night?
That was no label, that was my wine!
Ha! I wish.
I work in a no-humor area, so that the 'hairy ball theorem' is immediate justification for sexual hostile environment/harassment in one case, and general eyebrow-raising holy shit this is ammunition-or-at-least-makes- me-envious in another case.
Ahh, crraarrrppp. There's no leeway at work. I'll have to wait 'til after-hours.
If your boss is that uptight, it's probably a good idea not to show him/her what you're looking at on the net. :headshake
Medicine is teh serious business.
Some of it is, the science part, but much of medicine is dealing with people, their fears and emotions. Dr House may be cool on TV, but when you're sick and scared, not knowing what's happening, he wouldn't be your best choice for information and comfort.
House would be my guy. I don't give a shit about bedside manner, I'M FUCKING DYING HERE. I want the mofo that's gonna find out wtf is up, and fix my ass, along with the rest of me.
To hell with comfort, I want the cure.
But I doubt you want to wait till the end of the show to find out he's even working on it. That wait, completely in the dark, beginning to wonder if they've completely forgotten about you, or just given up and not doing anything for fear of a lawsuit, is the worst. :3_eyes:
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Beautiful plumage, the Norwegian Blue...
Pining for the fjords. :yesnod:
macaw? more like m'karked.
He's just having a bit of a kip.
He's pining for the fjords.
This parrot has ceased to be.
HELLLOOOOOO, POLLY! I've got a nice cuttlefish or you when you wake up!
Hahahahahahahaha. That's brilliant.
It's possible, but unlikely, that I'm the only one in our little community that has *ahem* a lot of dice. They're not all the same, not just different shapes and values, but some are "better" than others, and naturally, some are "worse".
Like these:
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That last die is interesting.
How does only one die roll snake eyes?
It's a pirate snake with an eye patch.
not all snakes have two eyes...
[YOUTUBE]mmJkt10FMDM[/YOUTUBE]
It's a pirate snake with an eye patch.
lol
I figured it out: one die testified against the die pictured in exchange for a lighter sentence!
♪ ♫...the kind you don't take home to mother♪ ♫
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*that* is fucking genius.
Is that a sculpture of a toad, with a pun on "towed in", but spelled "toed"?
Homophone trifecta!
Homophone
I don't think we're supposed to call them that.
That's their word.
:p:
Is that a sculpture of a toad, with a pun on "towed in", but spelled "toed"?
Homophone trifecta!
Damifino, the rules (and language) were different in 1930. :D
Office Sumo
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And the janitor will have your head on a pike. :eek:
Another in the series...
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I think that a comma after the second 'had' would have helped.
YMMV.
Another example:
Signwriter is re-painting the sign outside the Bull And Butcher pub. The landlord appears and says he'd like a bigger gap between the Bull and And and And and Butcher.
Five ands in a row. Beat that!
Love all of those. Grav, that 'anatomy of ...' series is awesome.
Five ands in a row. Beat that!
I'll see your five ands,
and, raise you eight buffalo.
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.Grav, that 'anatomy of ...' series is awesome.
I didn't go looking for any of those, I just keep stumbling upon them...
Nuts!
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Why, trespassing?
If this were Pakistan, and that was a statue of muhammed, he would be executed. If a mob didn't kill him first.
Why, trespassing?
If this were Pakistan, and that was a statue of muhammed, he would be executed. If a mob didn't kill him first.
Desecration of a venerated object. He's risking two years.
Also reported here.The kid could go to jail
The kid ought to.
He shouldn't go to jail for that.
Desecration is a bullshit legal charge, but I think it's fair to charge him with trespassing, since the owner clearly wouldn't want him there doing that.
And if he damaged it, then it would be fair to charge him with vandalism.
Desecration charge though is dumb. We shouldn't react the way the Sharia law folks would want to. We're better than that.
Gotta be said that is the most awful statue. Jesus ala Disney.
It is an awful statue, I was ready to suggest it might be a joke - and Glatt, I've been to Pakistan many times, believe me, I ain't seen too many statues of Mohammed...
II ain't seen too many statues of Mohammed...
Oh, I know. But if they did do the statue thing...
snip--
Desecration charge though is dumb. We shouldn't react the way the Sharia law folks would want to. We're better than that.
Not unlike "Insulting Islam".
A Saudi court on Monday upheld a 10-year jail sentence and 1,000 lashes against Raef Badawi, founder of a liberal human rights group, for insulting Islam, an activist said.
He had been convicted of “creating a website insulting Islam” and criticising the role of the notorious religious police ….
Because I've been on the road for 18 hours now I'll put this pic of a guy practising his bass guitar at Heathrow airport right here ....
18 hours just to get to Heathrow. Then how many more to get home?
It's like the movie Planes Trains and Automobiles.
Did you report the terrorist. :haha:
Because I've been on the road for 18 hours now I'll put this pic of a guy practising his bass guitar at Heathrow airport right here ....
Ohhh.....I like that.
he looks a little bit like Philip Seymour Hoffman
By then my counting was all to pot ... Today has been a bit over 10 hours on 3 airplanes and about six hours of hanging about in airports. I got up at 3.30am local time (the equivalent of 10.30pm UK time) yesterday and am calling it quits for today at 8.15pm. I'm not home yet, Mr Limey came to meet me and we're staying in a Premier Inn right by the airport.
he looks a little bit like Philip Seymour Hoffman
More than a little.
But, as a bass player, he's obviously an impostor.
He's not leaning to one side or the other, he doesn't appear to be drooling out of either side of his mouth, and his clothes and hair are
way too nice.
[/bassjab]:D
Did you report the terrorist. :haha:
Everyone knows the terrorist is the ninety-three-year-old-woman-in-the-wheelchair-pulling-an-iron-lung-behind-her-dialysis-machine.
Who you trying to kid?
More than a little.
But, as a bass player, he's obviously an impostor.
He's not leaning to one side or the other, he doesn't appear to be drooling out of either side of his mouth, and his clothes and hair are way too nice.
[/bassjab]:D
I didn't know Drew Carey played bass...
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That gossamer wisp of negligibility...
:lol2:
Funny! I see a whole row of grav posts in 'recent posts'...imma go laugh some more! :)
Good one Grav, I'ma stealing that one.
That veiled collusion of thread.
Brilliant.
After going through EVERY SINGLE PAGE of this thread, I figured I'd share this classic...
-MMM-
Oh yeah. That's a good one.
Not unlike "Insulting Islam".
And that's what we want to emulate.:rolleyes:
The one comment at the end of the (mildly) entertaining movie/movie/captions was funny. It had one movie and a caption. I don't think she :rtfm:
A bit of indoors redecoration
[COLOR="DimGray"](Seen on my holidays earlier this year)[/COLOR]
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[COLOR="White"].[/COLOR]
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
[COLOR="White"].[/COLOR]
These are not tiny brontosauruses.
Hah! They look just like tiny brontosauruses.
(I'm not going to call them apatosauruses, and Pluto is still a planet.)
Exactly! I am of the brontosaurus and Pluto peoples, too.
[Strike]Coatis?[/Strike] More than one coati?
These are not tiny brontosauruses.
YOU LYING BITCH! Don't pretend you don't know all about it.
[Strike]Coatis?[/Strike] More than one coati?
Coatis Mundi or Coati Mundis
I knew Sarah Jessica Parker was infectious...
No problem, it's got a bunch of Trojans. ;)
Hope they're camo.
Never let them see you coming.
Not great associative linkage here ...
That's the shine bright, burn out early, syndrome. :haha:
*snort*
I had forgotten about Phil. I read a long article about him, probably in an old issue of Bantha Tracks, the magazine of the Star Wars fan club. He did the stop motion animation of the alien chess set on the Millennium Falcon and he also did the Tauntauns, and the big monster under Jabba the Hut's floor.
A lot of the Star Wars universe was his creation.
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"These almond cookies are making me bloody."
~paraphrasing "Seinfeld"
Some kids just need killin'. :facepalm:
A bit of Googling suggests that it's the Sunday Sport, that well known journal of record. The story is said to be fake.
Her Majesty's Press making things up? Heaven forfend.
Hoax Slayer.
Actually, being the increasingly world weary soul that I am, I wouldn't have been in the least bit surprised had it been true.
I guess this is as good a place as any for this lamp I got as a belated Christmas present.
It's sort of orange and the 15 watt night light bulb inside makes it glow kind of warm and fuzzy.
They say it's hand carved from 250 million year old salt deposits at the base of the Himalayas.
Makes me picture gnomes or monks sitting cross legged, chipping the salt in cadence.
Until it said ISO-9001 & ISO-14001 certified.
OK, looks good, you're interested, they go in for the kill...
Walmart says, " put it next to your computer and feel your stress dissipate as the negative ions counteract the electromagnetic fields bouncing off the computer."
Yes sir, we don't want to get into any of that proof business, but here is the fountain of youth and Viagra, and Chocolate truffles rolled into one.
Then they spend a lot of space helping you decide what size/how many, you need for your cubicle, home, or business.
Oh well, it looks cool, kind of romantic, when it's lit up. :D
Have you tried rimming your margarita glass on it yet?
A friend of mine had one and the bulb eventually burnt out and he delayed in replacing it. Eventually the steamy, swampy summer came along and without a bulb providing heat, hey presto! salt did what salt does. One day he notices that the lamp is sitting in a puddle of salt water stewing in its own juices. The salt corroded all the wiring and socket and so forth, also warping the wooden base. I took it home thinking I'd rehab it as a evening project and it's been in my basement for a year.
I like them for the quality of the light, I make my own negative ions.
Have you tried rimming your margarita glass on it yet?
I'm waiting for the Himalayan salt margarita glasses to come out.
:biggrinba
Have you tried rimming your margarita glass on it yet?
Have I tried rimming Margarita's ass?
Whohuhwha?
I don't even know her...
I guess this is as good a place as any for this lamp I got as a belated Christmas present.
It's sort of orange and the 15 watt night light bulb inside makes it glow kind of warm and fuzzy.
They say it's hand carved from 250 million year old salt deposits at the base of the Himalayas.
Makes me picture gnomes or monks sitting cross legged, chipping the salt in cadence.
Until it said ISO-9001 & ISO-14001 certified.
OK, looks good, you're interested, they go in for the kill...
Walmart says, " put it next to your computer and feel your stress dissipate as the negative ions counteract the electromagnetic fields bouncing off the computer."
Yes sir, we don't want to get into any of that proof business, but here is the fountain of youth and Viagra, and Chocolate truffles rolled into one.
Then they spend a lot of space helping you decide what size/how many, you need for your cubicle, home, or business.
Oh well, it looks cool, kind of romantic, when it's lit up. :D
My wife bought 3 :blush::mad2:
I make my own negative ions.
me too. Here's one I just created
:lol2: go monster :lol2:
This was labeled as Bad Newspapering but I disagree. 10 or 15 years ago I bought a whole case of those
from American science & Surplus, then at Christmas handed them out at work for oversized shot glasses. Hey, they were new and glass, so dust them.
It was amusing, listening to the reactions these guys got from their wives when they said they were shot glasses.
I may not be smart, but probably certifiably evil. :blunt:
me too. Here's one I just created
You are my hero
from American science & Surplus
I may not be smart, but probably certifiably evil. :blunt:
Damn you Bruce.
Stella Artois in a *can*???
wtf?
It's as good an enema as any.
Stella Artois in a *can*???
wtf?
Damn. I worked way too hard trying to suss out what you were talking about.
Now I'm tired.
I looked at this picture and wondered why is was such a ghetto tree, and why it wasn't lit until Christmas eve. Then it dawned on me, this was less than two months after Oct 29th, Black Tuesday, the start of the Great Depression.
I'm sure it was lit on Christmas Eve because that's actually the original tradition--you're supposed to decorate on Christmas Eve, and leave it up until the holiday of Epiphany on Jan 6, which is supposedly the day the wise men arrived with their gifts. Sometimes the night before the Epiphany celebration is called Twelfth Night, which is what the Shakespeare play was named after.
But that's old world Anglo Saxon tradition. We brought forth a new nation dedicated to the proposition that at Thanksgiving we shall hit the ground running for the orgy of Christmas spending. :haha:
But that's old world Anglo Saxon tradition. We brought forth a new nation dedicated to the proposition that at Thanksgiving we shall hit the ground running for the orgy of Christmas spending. :haha:
This is no time to agonise over the Christian - Capitalist dichotomy.
Just go out and spend. My future pension will depend on you!
My future pension will depend on you!
You be in deep doo doo, Sir. :blush:
I looked at this picture and wondered why is was such a ghetto tree,
Martha Stewart hadn't been born yet and hadn't yet shown us how we had all been doing it wrong.
My little hometown of about 1500 people(at that time), had a better looking tree than that thing. They also had a light up star they would hang in the cupola window of the town building... until a Jew lawyer moved to town in the 70s and made them stop.
My little hometown of about 1500 people(at that time), had a better looking tree than that thing.
Smaller committee.
Bingo!! Very astute observation, Sir.:notworthy
Salt/wound/youknowshowitgoes:
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:p:
Steve Jenkins and Derek Walter adopted what they thought was a micro-pig but over time it grew and grew...grew.
Esther the Wonder Pig now weighs more than a fully grown polar bear.
The huge cuddly animal, who lives in Ontario, Canada, has now become an internet sensation with more than 230,000 followers on Facebook alone.
Esther the Wonder Pig now weighs more than a fully grown polar bear.
Not in that picture she don't.
Esther weighs 48 stone, 48 x 14 = 672 pounds. Commercially raised meat pigs don't get that big because of cost/benefit considerations, but brood sows, breeding boars, and a farm's pet garbage disposal, commonly top that.
The only Polar Bear Ester outweighs is the size 2 female all the lady bears hate.
Hell, PA has Black Bears bigger than Esther.
Someone must have been mumbling; they meant she weighs more than a fully-grown koala bear...
:lol2: you're probably right, must have been an Aussie reporter.
Esther is a Canuck, but the statement was made in a Brit paper...
This little piggy got massive: Meet Esther the 48 stone 'micro-pig'! Ten times larger than predicted, the giant porker is now the size of a POLAR BEAR.
What the hell do they know about Polar Bears?
Boston? Is he a Patriots equipment handler? :haha:
that's a funny profile. He's got a killer sense of humor. I nearly died laughing. eh hem. oh, and he totally would murder you.
I wonder how the eight souls in the side bar feel about being described as 'similar'.
One for Flywheel, Shyster and Flywheel.
You won't be seeing this very much, these days.
that's some funny shit right there!
That small sign in the background is very poignant.
"Motel for Cats... Hourly Rates"
Red Bull Gives You Wiiings...
Forget the 'wings', that is a GORGEOUS horse.
I haven't seen clipping patterns like that before. Probably WAY out of the loop, but DAMN! Looks great.
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:right:
Red Bull Gives You Wiiings...
All the other public space has been used up.
This could be a major breakthrough for advertising...
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... and then there is:
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... and then there is the ultimate...
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Forget the 'wings', that is a GORGEOUS horse.
I haven't seen clipping patterns like that before.
Wait. What am I looking at in that pic? I assumed the darker color was just that, colored/dyed. Are you saying that the lighter color is skin, and the darker color is the horse's coat? Am I looking at a mostly bald horse?
The train pic also sailed over my head, don't get it at all.
I assumed "conflat" was like "flatulate" or "fart"
I figured it was a fart joke.
Wait. What am I looking at in that pic? I assumed the darker color was just that, colored/dyed. Are you saying that the lighter color is skin, and the darker color is the horse's coat? Am I looking at a mostly bald horse?
That's right. The horse should 'appear' as per its legs which remain unclipped.
Wonder how he/she took having his/her face shaved?
Unconsciously, I hope, if I was doing the shaving.
Wonder how he/she took having his/her face shaved?
Unconsciously, I hope, if I was doing the shaving.
It's not uncommon for horses to have mild sedation when being clipped.
My old horse was pretty good in that respect and was quite happy to be clipped on the underside of his jaw.
I suspect that he might have drawn the line at having his face clipped out entirely.
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That wasn't an accident, that was a statement.
Wonder how he/she took having his/her face shaved?
Unconsciously, I hope, if I was doing the shaving.
Horses are taught to stand still for clipping. Some will be more patient than others, and for patterns like that one, a little sedation might not hurt - just to minimize the chance of a twitch or sidestep at a critical moment. But many/most horses will stand amazingly well.
Leaving the legs unclipped, along with an area under the saddle, used to be called a 'hunter clip'. I supposed the 'wing clip' could be called a variation ... the hair isn't taken right down to the skin, but the horse does need protection from cold in the clipped areas, so horse blankets are used.
Sigh ... I miss my horses ...
But, Grav! You're back!! :D
... The train pic also sailed over my head, don't get it at all.
I assumed "conflat" was like "flatulate" or "fart"
I figured it was a fart joke.
Yeah, sorry - it's just that little bit of steam on the left
Yeah, sorry - it's just that little bit of steam on the left
That little bit of steam seems to be emerging from a Southern Railway loco judging by the colour scheme, or what little I can see of it.
Would that be correct?
Bristol Harbour
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Bristol Harbour
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Oh well, wrong again!
Thanks, Scriveyn. :)
Yeah, sorry - it's just that little bit of steam on the left
Thanx. Sometimes ya gotta draw me a picture.
Chris Rock, on marriage:
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:lol2:
"Motel for Cats... Hourly Rates"
[youtube]hMVHlrWtmDw[/youtube]
I was on Google Maps and came across this...
It's this girl's "Google Frozen Moment of Fame"
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That looks familiar. I have one of me similar to it.
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The real ones tried to kill her...that's a sense of humor right there.
Ain't it the trute? :mad:
And remember what Dave Barry said about resumes:
"A good resume is more than just a piece of paper with lies written all over it. A good resume can mean the difference between not getting a job and not even coming close."
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
"No one told me not to do that."
Ain't it the trute? :mad:
One local employer asks you to upload your resume, and in the section of their database form that asks for current job duties, specifically says "'See attached resume' is not acceptable."
I keep telling glatt he can do anything with the right hardware. :haha:
I like that.
"Double Counter Sunk Holes"
"Double Counter Sunk Holes"
I've got a special drill for that very purpose, although you'd never know to look at it.
Not a mile per hour more! (Albuquerque)
18 miles seems a bizarre choice.
We have quite a few 20 mph zones.
The same guy who got that a designated bike road probably rides comfortably at 18 mph.
Many years ago on one corporate campus in Irvine Ca. They posted their speed limit in the parking lots at 13 MPH. They said it made people slow down in the parking lots. I guess it works.
Any posted limit not ending in 0 or 5 will get the attention of anyone not totally clueless.
Eyes - speed limit 20 Brain - dismiss.
Eyes - speed limit 10 Brain - dismiss.
Eyes - speed limit 15 Brain - dismiss.
Eyes - speed limit 18 Brain - say what?
Monsanto posts similar speed limits at their headquarters in St. Louis...and they DO have security folks that monitor it.
From
here (link may be NSFW - glatt)
[youtube]BDoC8BhtUyo[/youtube]
NSFW bro.
??? Google image says that image is on several websites
Is the link posted above not a safe website ?
I don't remember how I got to that link, but if there
is something wrong with it,
I am asking the mods
to please delete the link or delete the entire post.Is the link posted above not a safe website ?
Waaay down the page there
are a few NSFW pics posted. Some boobies. They may have been closer to the top when he went there.
Yeah, there were some NSFW images at that link. I put a warning up next to it instead of deleting it.
OK, I get the Ice Cube part...but who is the other guy? Ice T? I really don't know. He looks familiar, but...
:blush:
but who is the other guy? Ice T?
Correctomundo!
Garland Greene: Define irony. Bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.
'Con Air' was a very quotable movie.
My favorite line was when Nicolas Cage's character was looking out the lowered ramp behind the flying plane, and, upon seeing the FBI agent's convertible Corvette (what was it about a 66?) dangling, and swinging around behind the plane from a rope, and says: "On any other day I might find that strange."
Ok, that line may, may, be second to "Put the bunny back in the box."
Maybe because roofs were lower then, and no A/C...
I know times were different then. but if I was drinking a beer in the city, I'm not so sure I'd want to be sitting next to a manure pile. Maybe once for the novelty of being near a "farm" in the city, but after the novelty wore off...
At least you'd know your steak was going to be fresh.
I don't want livestock on my roof.
If for no other reason than shit rolls downhill. And so does urine.
I don't want livestock on my roof.
If for no other reason than shit rolls downhill. And so does urine.
That's a bunch of bull. I herd you DID want livestock on your roof.
Well, I was seeing this one heifer...but, I got tired of her bull.
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from
Argyle SweaterPoe-hemian Rhapsody!!
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Hehehehehehe. That took me a minute.
Momdigr just basically refused to get that last one.
I almost had to draw her a picture...:facepalm:
Perhaps you could have enlisted the "help" of
Clippy.
I got it. I just forgot he's not the one who's dead.
Saw this on reddit, The Red Cross slut shamed her.
That's fucking hilarious. I laughed out loud.
Hope you don't mind a bit of black humour.
I was fiddling around with my camera at the window when:
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Feel free to invent, illustrate and post the other nine. :p:
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The Donald has become a popular piñata in Mexico. :haha:
He's pretty much a pinata here, too.
It's just that the sticks here are made out of jokes, and, instead of candy, he's still full of shit.
Careful. They're after his nuts.
Oscar Wilde is turning over in his grave.
He would be more comfortable on his stomach...
I thought her last name was 'Cakes' ([size=1]or 'Snacks'[/size])...Apparently she's a Ferrell.
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you have surprisingly cute toesies Grav.
That smile is too big for buying livestock, more like a smile before a big date. :eyebrow:
You say that like it's [strike] a bad[/strike] two different things.
...solid, strong nuts...
:lol2:
Just like I like my women...Solid, strong, & nuts!!
shotgun weddings, across the hall.
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Best LOL's I've had from one of your posts !
:D :D :D :D :D
Just hope it wasn't your receipt ;)
"... come again"?
Now that's just ... unkind.
I missed that before...salt in the wound.
:lol2:
The droids made his day, I made his smile.;)
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:jig:
What are they talking about? Rolling a joint?
:D
Hahahahahahahah. A whole nutha level.
He pea'd his pants:
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daaaaaaad!!!
because dad joke.
Eat every bean and pea on your plate.
A long time ago, in a Dorking far, far away...
Thanks bbro, that's great advice.
The only thing I could add is keep the kids quiet.
Oh, and don't vote. You'll probably do it wrong and besides, your man will need a good solid meal after a strenuous day of working AND voting. :lol2:
Pushing the boundaries of legality...
Wow. If that isn't the saddest, tiredest, loneliest looking slice of pepperoni in the whole wide world.
He's also got that faded, I was peeled off another pie look about him.
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:notworthy
Two thumbs up. :thumb::thumb:
Foster.
Wait; wrong thread.
Yes, wrong thread. :rolleyes: All you Gary Cooper types skedaddle back to word ass.
Just in case...
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Smart! I just got a Makita cordless drill with lithium batteries. It's a good thing they recharge in 15 minutes because I won't leave them unattended while they charge. :headshake
Somehow I feel there might have been alcohol involved. :rolleyes:
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Quality care, or your autopsy is free
Genius.
That one almost makes up for the koala pun
"Cotton pickin'" was a staple phrase in my childhood. "Get yer cotton pickin' fingers off my stuff." etc. etc. My mom used to use it, and it was probably in Bugs Bunny or something too.
Looking back on it, is it racist? Or did it have to be meant as racist to be racist?
Not really, although racists probably mean it that way. Plenty of white people have picked cotton. That cotton gin sure throws the shit around.
[COLOR="DarkRed"]***NSFW Language***[/COLOR]
[YOUTUBE]BE-lUfQ7eSw[/YOUTUBE]
Oh, damn, I just rewatched that for like the hundredth time. I am crying!:lol2:
It does not get old.
I've seen that a couple times, and watch it all the way through every time, because it cracks me up. :lol2:
Them gals wear clothes that we ain't seen
Beneath them gingham gowns
Hehehe. That is excellent.
Ring Ring Ring Ring, Bananapool...
We have a big problem with the amount of trash we generate each date. part of the problem is those large unwieldy pizza boxes.
Problem solved, the edible pizza, pizza box.
Oh yes...There will be chrome.
Fixed it.
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hahahahahahah that first one is hysterical
Don't let your dog chase this bike...
Backbiter.
The NY Times could be impolite..
This has to be photoshoped, it can't be real, no way she could do that and not get any on the outside. :headshake
If she started in the hole, and pulled it out as it started flowing, it would still be unlikely, but would enter the realm of possible.
The little flap inside the fill hole would be causing fuel to splash all over the place.
I call 'shopped.
TinEye only returned hits from imgur, reddit, and the chive.:neutral:
Our Camry that I loved/hated was missing that little flap.
It was an older car, and hers looks new, but you never know.
/devil's advocate
There was an old woman who drove in a shoe
she had so many children her uterus fell out
Ha ha
Where did all these children come from?!?!
From you to us.
There was an old woman who drove in a shoe
she had so many children her uterus fell out
Diceman ref.
Vurry nize.:D
Low profile tires on the cheap...
Did you know it's easier to pull apart fresh baked buns, that after they cool?
Wish I had a fresh-baked bunny...
Sexo's backpack... :lol2:
Sugarland Texas had ten statues donated for the town square. They depict people hanging out, relaxing, playing music, and........ taking a selfie? WTF?
It's costing the taxpayers about $8,000 to install each.
Eleva, MI. I like it much better than New Chicago. :yesnod:
Welp, I'm being replaced...
Nice chair. I'm sure you'll miss it.
Got it at OfficeMax on a good deal. My wife has a similar one...Tango has only exacted minimal damage to it in the past 2 years.
Foot - I sent a card with a similar sentiment to my Mum's friend Pete. I think it used the word "fanny" [COLOR="White"](which here means vagina)[/COLOR]
It really made him laugh. He's dead now, so I'm glad I made the effort to make him laugh when things were tough.
Bruce - OMG. I've eaten rabbit but I am not immune to their cuteness. Bless their little cuboid sensibilities!
And the sculpture - I've seen worse. MUCH worse. But the woman on the left isn't even looking at her camera? Still, I suppose stupid people can be immortalised too.
Sic - if you have to be replaced, it's better to be replaced by such a beautiful beast. Imagane if it was a scrawny little dog in your seat? Of course I am biased. I was rewatching series five of The Walking Dead when I couldn't sleep the other night(s) and all I could think of when I saw Abraham was how I'd love a big ginger tom.
And Grav - another DVD I found was Last House on the Left. Given my poor mental health I really shouldn't be watching such gore. But that pic is so '70s. Apols if it's someone famous I don't recognise - I'm awful with faces. Double apols if it's a family member. But I'd watch your 17 year old daughters around him if it is.
I'm guessing it's someone famous and I'm missing half the joke. But it made me laugh anyway.
Sorry for the round-robin style of the post. I'm catching up on what I've missed since March.
That's Gallagher. He's the one that smashes things with a huge mallet. Watermelon was the big hit.
What Jim said. Gallagher is very famous for smashing (among other things) watermelons with
The Sledge-O- Matic.
It ain't easy being green, but I don't think this helps...
Looks like a scrotum with large skin tags
Folks, I did some internet sleuthing and although I can find this moon picture I can not locate the source. Is it photoshopped? is Moon a town? a street? any help here?
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/416442296763922576/I got lost somehow in the cellar, it's on here somewhere, post edited
wherever it was before, it's here now!
That picture has been kicking around for years. I doubt it was shopped, more likely planned when somebody noticed the Moon's path could be aligned with that sign. But that's a guess.
I bet it wasn't even planned. I bet somebody saw the sign and saw the moon was in the general vicinity, and they walked around until the two were lined up just right, and took the picture.
Fuck Pinterest with a barbed wire dick.
I bet that's not even a moon, I bet it's a tortilla that someone threw into the air.
ditto re: pinterest
Obi Wan Kenobi: That's no moon… it's a space station.
Han: It's too big to be a space station.
Luke: I have a very bad feeling about this...
I bet that's not even a moon, I bet it's a tortilla that someone threw into the air.
ditto re: pinterest
ditto re: ditto
fuck pinterest
ditto re: ditto
fuck pinterest
Ditto
Sent by thought transference
Wow. How did you find that?
I'm certain it's the same intersection.
Great job!
I first looked for towns named Moon but that failed (except for PA but that pic ain't in PA) so then I tried looking for any Moon Streets in the Southwest US and ABQ came up so I knew I had it. Then it just took checking a few intersections. 3 others had "Moon St", no idea why the St was left of this one, guess they ordered the wrong length piece :)
Excellent, well done Sir. :notworthy
Been a while since I saw that pic.
Albuquerque, though I don't think this is the exact same intersection:
https://www.google.com/maps/@35.1485871,-106.547909,3a,37.5y,82.84h,91.11t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1svx6u0ao-87ICLtmPt9VJsw!2e0!7i13312!8i6656
gtown, great find, trust me I looked for awhile. I to am sure it is same intersection but how did you ever find the cross street ie Academy?
Definitely some luck. The arrow made me think Moon must have sidestepped or restarted somewhere since it was helping people re-find it. I looked for cases on the street map where that happened going south (since the pic is facing east towards the mountains). Tried a few and found Moon St on the signs but then found this with just Moon.
MacBook Pro: Cats love them
I thought perhaps it was a new version of "Here, hold my beer ..."
I would do that if I lived out there. It would look hilarious, but I'd much rather be pragmatic about it all.
I have a friend at a game company that is about to start on their first serious offering in VR. He says one guy at the office has already officially declined to work on it (he didn't quit, he just put in a request to be on a different project and the company said sure.) The coworker's explanation was that there have already been many reports from people who have used the headsets that, after only a few hours with it on their face, they have genuine difficulty re-integrating back into the real world. Like, they can't quite walk right, or coordinate tasks with their hands, and they have the specific psychological sensation that this world is not real.
Obviously some people are going to be less susceptible than others, but I think these things are going to fuck people up, big time.
You don't think people are already fucked up big time? I mean by their technology.
There are countless TED talks about how people are beginning to lose the ability to socialize, create a sense of community, or bond with friends and loved ones, of people ignoring the people they are with in favor of their devices (including ostensible caretakers of children), texting WHEN YOU SHOULD BE DRIVING YOUR FUCKING CAR and so on.
Unless you just forgot to include the words 'also and 'continue' in "but I think these things are also going to continue to fuck people up, big time."
Sometimes, if the print is particularly tiny, I use reading glasses (magnifiers). After reading for a couple hours with those glasses, I find that it takes a little while to see 'normally' again. I can't focus on things across the room.
I imagine a screen that close to one's face would have a similar effect.
Late to this thread.
You don't think people are already fucked up big time? I mean by their technology.
There are countless TED talks about how people are beginning to lose the ability to socialize, create a sense of community, or bond with friends and loved ones,
Yeah we just gave $2000 to a charity in remembrance of our friend and loved one who died. You can't do that on the Internet. There's no community, no bonding.
~
The TED talks on the Internet? I should take some time out of my real-life socializing and bonding with friends to watch one of those.
~
So I AM fucked up big time by technology for the last 32 years. Or saved by it. I can't remember which.
Quite apart from our donations to Sundae's memorial fund, and her own contribution to and enrichment of our lives (and ours of hers) via the internet, and the time
we bought Toad a car, I have other friends for whom [other] social media has literally been a life-saving, health-saving resource. The picture is just not that simple.
Like escalators did not replace stairs, and e-readers will not replace books, e-interaction will not replace IRL-interaction. They all complement each other.
Yeah, fight slavery... unpaid? :rolleyes:
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Funny cuz it's true.
Finally! Someone's paying attention to me!
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Funny cuz it's true.
yeah. that's so annoying
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Funny cuz it's true.
Oddly enough, some connectors have even more than three sides!
Bottle up!
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Bottle, bottle, bottle, bottle, swig!
The funny thing is, he looks exactly like that one uncle!!
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The Red Army in 1930, training their combat Meeses...
The school spirit is strong in this one.
Heh...That reminds me, the other night we were standing around the fire, and this guy holds his hand out in front of him a little, and pours about a swallow of beer on his hand, then resumes his regular posture.
Someone asked, of course, "What was that?"
The guy replied "I'm getting m'date drunk."
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:devil:
Nice. The Duke's is awesome.
Dress up your trailer hitch receiver...
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Might want to lawyer up also.:rolleyes:
Guy racked my ball hitch with his knee the other night. Hard. It shook the whole Jeep. I bet his shin was black/blue/yellow/purple the next day. He wasn't feeling no pain when he did it, I know that.
I larfed. Might've snorted once, or twice.:)
Guy racked my ball hitch with his knee the other night. Hard. It shook the whole Jeep. I bet his shin was black/blue/yellow/purple the next day. He wasn't feeling no pain when he did it, I know that.
I larfed. Might've snorted once, or twice.:)
I've done that. :eek:
One night when I was looking after my horse, and there was very little light in the yard, I managed to crack my shin on a tow hitch.
One or two discouraging words were heard on the range that night, I can tell you.
Me too. The hitch was on the front of his van for maneuvering his boat trailer on the boat ramp so I didn't expect it in the dark. :thepain2:
I've done it too. I still have the dent.
Bill Dance is the king of that shit. Shin crack @ 1:03:
[YOUTUBE]Jw4knjLaVXA[/YOUTUBE]
Idk how that man has lived as long he has.
Now That's Entertainment!
thanks Grav, very funny!
You've been drinking haven't you?
No, I swear I'm stone sober.
Well buildings don't just roll up or unzip.
![Image]("http://0.media.dorkly.cvcdn.com/55/55/11c5dae986ee6dbc5937c37d7f6b834f-if-chris-evans-looked-like-rob-liefelds-captain-america.jpg")
![If Abe Lincoln was alive today...]("http://www.angryduck.com/pictures/2013_4/if_abe_was_alive_today.gif"){kind=link}