Rich BOFHs from the North Pole

russotto · 12-06-2001, 02:22 PM

Here's a sight for you: Big black Mercedes (740) going down 422. Custom license plate: BOFH. Could it be a Bastard Operator From Hell? Perhaps. But this Mercedes contained a rather large man... wearing a red Santa cap. Does Santa do IT to make ends meet outside the Christmas season?

mbpark · 12-06-2001, 10:13 PM

Santa as BOFH?

I could see that, considering how bad a lot of managers are.

A bit of coal in the stocking, perhaps. And maybe the employee psychiatric records posted on the Intranet?

I can see that. What was your username again?

12-27-2001, 12:45 PM

How did I miss this the first time around?

Anyway. Wouldn't a "Rich BOFH from the North Pole" then be a "Rich Bastard Operator From Hell from the North Pole"? Isn't that a little redundant? Shouldn't he be the BOFSW (Bastard Operator from Santa's Workshop)? Or a BOFTNP (I think you can figure that one out)?

Maybe it stands for something else... Bastard Operator From Himalayas?

Undertoad · 12-27-2001, 01:48 PM

How did <i>I</i> miss the Santa as BOFH the first time around? I helped write one of those bits. Santa is a system administrator, here's why:

* Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny. (KM)
* When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal. (KM)
* Santa seldom answers your mail. (KM)
* When you ask Santa where he gets all the stuff he's got, he says, "Elves make it for me." (KM)
* Santa doesn't care about your deadlines. (KM)
* Your parents ascribed supernatural powers to Santa, but did all the work themselves. (KM)
* Nobody knows who Santa has to answer to for his actions. (KM)
* Santa laughs entirely too much. (KM)
* Santa thinks nothing of breaking into your $HOME. (KM)
* Only a lunatic says bad things about Santa in his presence. (KM)
* Santa is forced to do all his work when his users are in down time. (TS)
* He's forced to work even on observed holidays. (TS)
* He claims he's unique, but you see people just like him at the mall. (TS)
* Users make an incredible number of unreasonable demands, but in the end, the only thing that really interests them are new toys. (TS)
* Somehow, somewhere, by some unknown process, he found a wife just like him. (TS)
* Where people don't believe in him, inevitably there are other people who do the same job, just with a different title. (TS)
* Users aren't happy enough to see the results of his work. They keep asking perstering questions about how he manages to do it. They can't accept that it's just some sort of "magic". (TS)
* Even the non-religious pray for him to arrive. (TS)
* He's the only one who laughs at his message of the day. (TS)
* He'll never get another job; his resume is too specific to the job he currently has. (TS)
* Some of the users who make requests are kind of sophisticated, but most of them are having a good day when they avoid peeing their pants in his presence. (TS)
* He's forced to crawl into unreasonably small, dirty spaces to do his job... even when he's wearing a nice suit. (TS)
* Even if his work is really mostly spiritual, the world is a better place because of his existence!!! (TS)
* People expect everything from him, within 24 hours, and at no cost. (SS)

(KM-Keith Meidling
TS=me
SS=Steve Simmons)

12-27-2001, 02:14 PM

That's pretty good, Tony.

Definitely one of the better things I've seen today, next to this, of course.

12-06-2001, 02:22 PM	#1
russotto Professor Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 1,788	Rich BOFHs from the North Pole Here's a sight for you: Big black Mercedes (740) going down 422. Custom license plate: BOFH. Could it be a Bastard Operator From Hell? Perhaps. But this Mercedes contained a rather large man... wearing a red Santa cap. Does Santa do IT to make ends meet outside the Christmas season?

12-06-2001, 10:13 PM	#2
mbpark Lecturer Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Carmel, Indiana Posts: 761	You've not read much of the BOFH christmas stuff then :) Santa as BOFH? I could see that, considering how bad a lot of managers are. A bit of coal in the stocking, perhaps. And maybe the employee psychiatric records posted on the Intranet? I can see that. What was your username again?

12-27-2001, 12:45 PM	#3
dave Guest Posts: n/a	How did I miss this the first time around? Anyway. Wouldn't a "Rich BOFH from the North Pole" then be a "Rich Bastard Operator From Hell from the North Pole"? Isn't that a little redundant? Shouldn't he be the BOFSW (Bastard Operator from Santa's Workshop)? Or a BOFTNP (I think you can figure that one out)? Maybe it stands for something else... Bastard Operator From Himalayas?

12-27-2001, 01:48 PM	#4
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	How did <i>I</i> miss the Santa as BOFH the first time around? I helped write one of those bits. Santa is a system administrator, here's why: * Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny. (KM) * When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal. (KM) * Santa seldom answers your mail. (KM) * When you ask Santa where he gets all the stuff he's got, he says, "Elves make it for me." (KM) * Santa doesn't care about your deadlines. (KM) * Your parents ascribed supernatural powers to Santa, but did all the work themselves. (KM) * Nobody knows who Santa has to answer to for his actions. (KM) * Santa laughs entirely too much. (KM) * Santa thinks nothing of breaking into your $HOME. (KM) * Only a lunatic says bad things about Santa in his presence. (KM) * Santa is forced to do all his work when his users are in down time. (TS) * He's forced to work even on observed holidays. (TS) * He claims he's unique, but you see people just like him at the mall. (TS) * Users make an incredible number of unreasonable demands, but in the end, the only thing that really interests them are new toys. (TS) * Somehow, somewhere, by some unknown process, he found a wife just like him. (TS) * Where people don't believe in him, inevitably there are other people who do the same job, just with a different title. (TS) * Users aren't happy enough to see the results of his work. They keep asking perstering questions about how he manages to do it. They can't accept that it's just some sort of "magic". (TS) * Even the non-religious pray for him to arrive. (TS) * He's the only one who laughs at his message of the day. (TS) * He'll never get another job; his resume is too specific to the job he currently has. (TS) * Some of the users who make requests are kind of sophisticated, but most of them are having a good day when they avoid peeing their pants in his presence. (TS) * He's forced to crawl into unreasonably small, dirty spaces to do his job... even when he's wearing a nice suit. (TS) * Even if his work is really mostly spiritual, the world is a better place because of his existence!!! (TS) * People expect everything from him, within 24 hours, and at no cost. (SS) (KM-Keith Meidling TS=me SS=Steve Simmons)

12-27-2001, 02:14 PM	#5
dave Guest Posts: n/a	That's pretty good, Tony. Definitely one of the better things I've seen today, next to this, of course.

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