What I've learned about men and marriage

FelinesAreFine · 01-30-2004, 12:27 PM

As long as I put out without complaining, everything will be alright. (Even though I said no at first.)

wolf · 01-30-2004, 01:26 PM

That is an extraordinarily cynical statement.

Looking for a divorce attorney, are you?

blue · 01-30-2004, 01:29 PM

Ah, words to live by.

FileNotFound · 01-30-2004, 01:36 PM

*shrug*

I'd not see it like that.

Undertoad · 01-30-2004, 01:41 PM

I'm pretty sure Dr. Laura just wrote a book that makes that same statement.

juju · 01-30-2004, 02:02 PM

I don't really agree. There are all sorts of potential marriage problems that can't be resolved by having sex. Little things start to annoy you after a while, and you have to learn to agree on things and make compromises when you have conflicting goals.

Lady Sidhe · 02-01-2004, 07:19 PM

I agree. Marriage is about growing together and compromising when you disagree. It's about thinking in the "we" instead of in the "I," and putting the family first on your list of priorities. I think that if you have respect, you develop trust, which leads to love, which leads to faithfulness, which leads to stability, which leads to dependability, and those are the things healthy relationships are built on. Everything else comes from them.

But that's just me. *shrugs* I could be wrong.

Sidhe

xoxoxoBruce · 02-01-2004, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by FelinesAreFine
As long as I put out without complaining, everything will be alright. (Even though I said no at first.)

You've got a lot to learn.

OnyxCougar · 02-17-2004, 07:29 PM

I think your statement should be amended to:

"As long as I sacrifice my wants and needs in favor of everything he wants, he'll be happy."

That may mean spreading your legs at his whim.

But that does NOT mean everything is/are/was/willbe okay.

undone · 02-17-2004, 07:49 PM

I agree, you may have missed out on some pretty important aspects to men and to marriage.
He can and ultimately should be your friend as well as your partner. The ability to laugh at oneself and ones partner is irreplaceable in marriage. How in the hell are you going to get through the tense moments or the boring nights or how bout the times when the kid is sick and won't stop screaming or your in-laws drop in unannounced for perhaps the twelfth time that week? My husband is my closest friend and ally. I haven't and won't disrespect him or ever make him feel he is less than all I want or need. He in return never hurts me either. This is not to say those feelings don't exist. We are normal people, we just don't lash out at each other.
I am glad I am not the man. I don't want to have a penis (whale or otherwise) I may not always want a penis inside me either but I think staying positive about it is the key. If you start to resent him and his penis then you may start having fantasies of killing him while you are having sex with him. (not killing him while you are having sex, but fantasizing about killing him instead of enjoying the sex.) I have been with my husband for 9 years. Three kids. Through the death of my mother. Through the discovery and reunion with my birth sibling. Through indiscretion. It has definitey been worth it. If I lost him I doubt I would marry again (although I would send out a search party) I figure I could not find this kind of joy and comaraderie with another. OK. Now those of you who are crying either from boredom or the overly sweet sentiment may get a kleenex.

Undertoad · 02-17-2004, 08:00 PM

Looks like FAF has departed the Cellar.

She must be too busy to log in

jinx · 02-17-2004, 08:15 PM

Well I hope the cats are ok...

elSicomoro · 02-17-2004, 08:15 PM

May she never return...what a fucking spazz.

xoxoxoBruce · 02-17-2004, 10:35 PM

C'mon Syc, don't expect everyone to come to the Cellar with the right answers. Some can come to study at your feet and drink the wisdom of your cup.

juju · 02-17-2004, 10:48 PM

Yeah, they can drink from my cup, all right.

01-30-2004, 12:27 PM	#1
FelinesAreFine ...they think I'm rich Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: PA, USA Posts: 52	What I've learned about men and marriage As long as I put out without complaining, everything will be alright. (Even though I said no at first.) __________________ The day God created the Cat, He didn't do another thing except sit down and smile.

01-30-2004, 01:26 PM	#2
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	That is an extraordinarily cynical statement. Looking for a divorce attorney, are you? __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

01-30-2004, 01:29 PM	#3
blue Operations Operative Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Northern WI Posts: 739	Ah, words to live by. __________________ If you spot a tornado, always remember to point at it, yell "tornado!", and run like hell.

01-30-2004, 01:36 PM	#4
FileNotFound Intouch with his inner sheep rider. Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 603	shrug I'd not see it like that. __________________ This is a rat. \|This is a hamster.\| This is a chipmunk.\| This is a Sheep Rider.

02-01-2004, 07:19 PM	#7
Lady Sidhe That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.... Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Hammond, La. Posts: 978	I agree. Marriage is about growing together and compromising when you disagree. It's about thinking in the "we" instead of in the "I," and putting the family first on your list of priorities. I think that if you have respect, you develop trust, which leads to love, which leads to faithfulness, which leads to stability, which leads to dependability, and those are the things healthy relationships are built on. Everything else comes from them. But that's just me. shrugs I could be wrong. Sidhe __________________ My free will...I never leave home without it. --House Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. -Rita Rudner

01-30-2004, 01:41 PM	#5
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	I'm pretty sure Dr. Laura just wrote a book that makes that same statement.

01-30-2004, 02:02 PM	#6
juju no one of consequence Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,839	I don't really agree. There are all sorts of potential marriage problems that can't be resolved by having sex. Little things start to annoy you after a while, and you have to learn to agree on things and make compromises when you have conflicting goals.

02-17-2004, 07:29 PM	#9
OnyxCougar Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Kingdom of Atlantia Posts: 2,979	I think your statement should be amended to: "As long as I sacrifice my wants and needs in favor of everything he wants, he'll be happy." That may mean spreading your legs at his whim. But that does NOT mean everything is/are/was/willbe okay.

02-17-2004, 07:49 PM	#10
undone work in progess Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 100	what I've learned about men and marriage I agree, you may have missed out on some pretty important aspects to men and to marriage. He can and ultimately should be your friend as well as your partner. The ability to laugh at oneself and ones partner is irreplaceable in marriage. How in the hell are you going to get through the tense moments or the boring nights or how bout the times when the kid is sick and won't stop screaming or your in-laws drop in unannounced for perhaps the twelfth time that week? My husband is my closest friend and ally. I haven't and won't disrespect him or ever make him feel he is less than all I want or need. He in return never hurts me either. This is not to say those feelings don't exist. We are normal people, we just don't lash out at each other. I am glad I am not the man. I don't want to have a penis (whale or otherwise) I may not always want a penis inside me either but I think staying positive about it is the key. If you start to resent him and his penis then you may start having fantasies of killing him while you are having sex with him. (not killing him while you are having sex, but fantasizing about killing him instead of enjoying the sex.) I have been with my husband for 9 years. Three kids. Through the death of my mother. Through the discovery and reunion with my birth sibling. Through indiscretion. It has definitey been worth it. If I lost him I doubt I would marry again (although I would send out a search party) I figure I could not find this kind of joy and comaraderie with another. OK. Now those of you who are crying either from boredom or the overly sweet sentiment may get a kleenex.

02-17-2004, 08:00 PM	#11
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Looks like FAF has departed the Cellar. She must be too busy to log in

02-17-2004, 08:15 PM	#12
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 7,013	Well I hope the cats are ok...

02-17-2004, 08:15 PM	#13
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	May she never return...what a fucking spazz.

02-17-2004, 10:35 PM	#14
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	C'mon Syc, don't expect everyone to come to the Cellar with the right answers. Some can come to study at your feet and drink the wisdom of your cup. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

02-17-2004, 10:48 PM	#15
juju no one of consequence Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,839	Yeah, they can drink from my cup, all right.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)