So, Like, I got Hired ...

wolf · 03-23-2012, 07:07 PM

http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=24897

yeah. really.

I was out having lunch with the girlfriends. We went to a new tea house, since our special one got run into the ground and went out of business because the new owner was a complete idiot.

Now, there are certain rules for being in a teahouse, and not disrupting the tranquility with a cellphone is one of them.

So my phone was shushed and in my pocket.

Just after the soup and savory the phone started ringing. I decided to check out who it was and just put it away.

OMGOMGOMG, I know that phone number. It's the place where I've been interviewing ...

I'll cut the suspense here.

I'm hired.

Well, pending the results of a couple of tests, one of which the teahouse helped me "study" for. I had two pots of tea and some extra water.

Assuming the test comes back negative (it will, trust me), I'll start with the next orientation class.

Well, I hope it will.

There were poppyseeds in the salad dressing. The pee-lady assured me that wouldn't be an issue, though.

jimhelm · 03-23-2012, 07:09 PM

WORD.

congrats, babe!

wolf · 03-23-2012, 07:10 PM

Thank you, my dear!

Good luck to everyone else who is doing the same kind of searching!

Aliantha · 03-23-2012, 07:11 PM

Good stuff wolf.

BigV · 03-23-2012, 07:11 PM

OUTSTANDING, Red Team, outstanding! Get you a case of beer for that one.

infinite monkey · 03-23-2012, 07:11 PM

That is the freaking awesomest. I'm so happy for you!

Undertoad · 03-23-2012, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=24897
Well, pending the results of a couple of tests, one of which the teahouse helped me "study" for. I had two pots of tea and some extra water.

OK that was a bad idea! You just gave them a sample of water.

At better labs, dilution requires a re-test. At worse labs, I don't know if they find it.

I knew a guy who swears he was marked as having failed due to dilution, but I don't believe him. But this may be important: remember, if they try to fail you due to dilution, jump up and down and threaten legal activity at the top of your voice. That will be your only recourse.

Quote:

There were poppyseeds in the salad dressing. The pee-lady assured me that wouldn't be an issue, though.

Accurately answering test-takers is not her job. It can definitely be an issue. Snopes agrees.

So: at the end of the day, you may be lucky enough to have actually diluted yourself out of a false positive.

Quote:

Assuming the test comes back negative (it will, trust me)

Trust you, no! If you want to know how to pass a drug screen, ask someone who does drugs!

Because there are a few ways to guarantee passing a drug screen.

But not doing drugs is not one of them.

HungLikeJesus · 03-23-2012, 07:48 PM

Playtime's over! Back to work!

wolf · 03-23-2012, 07:49 PM

Even the cheap tests screen for the presence of urine in the urine.

I've been handed a lot of cups of water over the years. I know how that trick is done.

I was impressed by the procedures at the place. Clever, they are.

monster · 03-23-2012, 07:52 PM

hurraaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Well done, so happy for you

limey · 03-23-2012, 07:54 PM

OMG Fabulous news! I cannot understand how you've not been snapped up long ago! X

Sent by thought transference

ZenGum · 03-23-2012, 07:57 PM

VERY happy about this.

I hope our other unemployed and underemployed folks have similar progress soon.

Undertoad · 03-23-2012, 08:03 PM

Quote:

I've been handed a lot of cups of water over the years. I know how that trick is done.

I was impressed by the procedures at the place. Clever, they are.

so certain are you. always with you it cannot be done.

Griff · 03-23-2012, 08:04 PM

Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clodfobble · 03-23-2012, 10:11 PM

Thank God, I was really jonesing for some new Really Cool/Really Suck stories.

03-23-2012, 07:07 PM	#1
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,548	So, Like, I got Hired ... http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=24897 yeah. really. I was out having lunch with the girlfriends. We went to a new tea house, since our special one got run into the ground and went out of business because the new owner was a complete idiot. Now, there are certain rules for being in a teahouse, and not disrupting the tranquility with a cellphone is one of them. So my phone was shushed and in my pocket. Just after the soup and savory the phone started ringing. I decided to check out who it was and just put it away. OMGOMGOMG, I know that phone number. It's the place where I've been interviewing ... I'll cut the suspense here. I'm hired. Well, pending the results of a couple of tests, one of which the teahouse helped me "study" for. I had two pots of tea and some extra water. Assuming the test comes back negative (it will, trust me), I'll start with the next orientation class. Well, I hope it will. There were poppyseeds in the salad dressing. The pee-lady assured me that wouldn't be an issue, though. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-23-2012, 07:09 PM	#2
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,281	WORD. congrats, babe! __________________ -- I'm breathing, so I guess I'm still alive. Even if signs seem to tell me otherwise. - Maynard Keenan

03-23-2012, 07:10 PM	#3
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,548	Thank you, my dear! Good luck to everyone else who is doing the same kind of searching! __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-23-2012, 07:11 PM	#4
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 14,928	Good stuff wolf. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

03-23-2012, 07:11 PM	#5
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 18,209	OUTSTANDING, Red Team, outstanding! Get you a case of beer for that one. __________________ Remember: Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. -- Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and writer (121-180)

03-23-2012, 07:11 PM	#6
infinite monkey We go together like pp^^ Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 10,703	That is the freaking awesomest. I'm so happy for you! __________________ Survivor: Higher Education. Season Premiere!

03-23-2012, 07:48 PM	#8
HungLikeJesus Only looks like a disaster tourist Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: above 7,000 feet Posts: 7,208	Playtime's over! Back to work! __________________ Keep Your Bodies Off My Lawn SteveDallas's Random Thread Picker.

03-23-2012, 07:49 PM	#9
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,548	Even the cheap tests screen for the presence of urine in the urine. I've been handed a lot of cups of water over the years. I know how that trick is done. I was impressed by the procedures at the place. Clever, they are. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-23-2012, 07:52 PM	#10
monster only 99c Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Tena City Posts: 24,133	hurraaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Well done, so happy for you __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

03-23-2012, 07:54 PM	#11
limey Sassenach Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 4,573	OMG Fabulous news! I cannot understand how you've not been snapped up long ago! X Sent by thought transference __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

03-23-2012, 07:57 PM	#12
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,490	VERY happy about this. I hope our other unemployed and underemployed folks have similar progress soon. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

03-23-2012, 08:04 PM	#14
Griff Hill-Biffy or HillWilliam Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 16,939	Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis ...how easily the learned give up the evidence of their senses to preserve the coherence of ideas in their imagination. - Adam Smith

03-23-2012, 10:11 PM	#15
Clodfobble Bitchin' Tiny Unicorn Jockey Wannabe Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 14,067	Thank God, I was really jonesing for some new Really Cool/Really Suck stories. __________________ My cooking blog

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