Holy, Creeping Jesus, the smell!

squirell nutkin · 01-23-2010, 10:11 AM

I started in on cleaning the couch and chair, which over night had quieted to a dull olfactory roar. I did a little test on the side of the chair with some Simple Green straight form the bottle. Pretty good, smelled good, took off some of the leather's dye. Less good.

Well, when in doubt, follow the instructions. So, I get a small amount of gentle soap on a wet rag and make a little lather and wipe down the back of the chair.

Rag looks pretty gray, go to rinse it out and before I am halfway across the kitchen the horrifying smell of stinky, wet, dog with god knows what sort of fecal undertones and anal gland high notes bursts into the air. I could actually see honest, god fearing normal kitchen aroma-molecules being jack-booted by the emanations from this couch.

I will admit now that when it comes to just about any other unpleasant stimulus, bad smells cut me off at the knees.

The several hours will be tough.

Once more unto the stinky breech...

monster · 01-23-2010, 10:13 AM

Is it really worth the effort? Ugh, you poor thing.

squirell nutkin · 01-23-2010, 10:16 AM

I am asking myself that now.

Nirvana · 01-23-2010, 10:53 AM

Hmm I hope Uncle Homer didn't die on that couch and thats why they were selling it

richlevy · 01-24-2010, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nirvana

Hmm I hope Uncle Homer didn't die on that couch and thats why they were selling it

I remember an episode from a sitcom where that happened.

lumberjim · 01-23-2010, 10:58 AM

i must have skipped a chapter somehow

squirell nutkin · 01-23-2010, 12:17 PM

I intro-ed this over in Prisoner of love and, in my grandiosity, failed to insert a link.

I added Lestoil, (very piney) Ammonia, (fight fire with fire) and some simple green. Now it smells rather fragrant when wet.

I also noted, from my post-Xmas tree needle vacuuming discovery, that fragrant things in the vacuum cleaner make the air smell nice and not so doogy. I pulverized some very nice incense and vacuumed it up in a new bag.

Now all I need to do is light an oil lamp, put on the Doors first album, smoke a bowl, and then I'd be right back where I came from wishful sinful wicked...

Whoa, sorry drifting there. I'm back.

Did the Ottoman, and the arm chair. After lunch I'll tackle the couch.

xoxoxoBruce · 01-23-2010, 12:55 PM

You may be drying the leather out with that concoction. I highly recommend Lexol Leather Conditioner. Starting with the Lexol cleaner would be good too.

Griff · 01-23-2010, 12:59 PM

I was wondering if that'd be a better route.

squirell nutkin · 01-23-2010, 01:36 PM

Dudes, please. I've got a boatload of lexol in the house. You cannot put lexol on this shit, you'd just be further cementing the death-funk into the pores of the leather. Leather can take a lot of abuse, that's why they use leather in the first place.

I've washed it off, dried it, it's still very supple. It had been waxed at some point. It smells better, but if you put your snout right up next to it, you can still smell. Now I've got the chair locked in the office and I'm burning about 50 sticks of VivaPine Sandalwood incense in there with it. I'm hoping the smoke will adhere to the leather a bit.

I forgot to febreeze it first.

xoxoxoBruce · 01-23-2010, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by squirell nutkin

Dudes, please. I've got a boatload of lexol in the house. You cannot put lexol on this shit, you'd just be further cementing the death-funk into the pores of the leather. Leather can take a lot of abuse, that's why they use leather in the first place.

No, no, do the Lexol after you get it clean. There's no way you're going to get the smell out without removing some, if not most, of the emollients that keep leather from cracking.

Juniper · 01-23-2010, 01:45 PM

I feel for you. My house smells like cat piss.

jinx · 01-23-2010, 01:55 PM

Dennis and Spike's breeder has 5 adult cats, 4 queens and 1 male. They live in an addition she had put on the house just for them.
Holy balls her house stunk so friggin bad. I remember Dennis needing 2 scrub downs just to get the smell off him... and Spike was almost as stinky when we picked him up. I wanted to just run in, grab him, and run out - but was forced to take a tour of the cat room and meet all the cats because she's so proud of them. So she's showing me the male and telling me how exceptional he is, that he's nice to all the moms and kittens and loves to snuggle and stuff, which was obvious becuase he had curled up on Spencer and was purring like crazy.... So then she says "And he doesn't spray!" "It doesn't smell like urine at all in here".
Mind over matter apparently. We all went home and showered.

Nirvana · 01-23-2010, 03:07 PM

This reminds me of when I go to the sale barn to buy hay and I assume the horse people are thinking that guy stinks he must have cows. The cow guys thinks that guy stinks he must have sheep. The sheep guy thinks whew that guy must have hogs and the hog guy must think the horse guy stinks.

Pete Zicato · 01-23-2010, 03:19 PM

There are a number of cleaning products that you can buy at the pet store that contain an enzyme to break down poo and pee smells. We've had very good luck with these. They don't cover up the smell, but break them down into simpler molecules that don't smell.

01-23-2010, 10:11 AM	#1
squirell nutkin has a second hand user title Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: in a Nut House Posts: 2,017	Holy, Creeping Jesus, the smell! I started in on cleaning the couch and chair, which over night had quieted to a dull olfactory roar. I did a little test on the side of the chair with some Simple Green straight form the bottle. Pretty good, smelled good, took off some of the leather's dye. Less good. Well, when in doubt, follow the instructions. So, I get a small amount of gentle soap on a wet rag and make a little lather and wipe down the back of the chair. Rag looks pretty gray, go to rinse it out and before I am halfway across the kitchen the horrifying smell of stinky, wet, dog with god knows what sort of fecal undertones and anal gland high notes bursts into the air. I could actually see honest, god fearing normal kitchen aroma-molecules being jack-booted by the emanations from this couch. I will admit now that when it comes to just about any other unpleasant stimulus, bad smells cut me off at the knees. The several hours will be tough. Once more unto the stinky breech... __________________ And now I'm finished posting.

01-23-2010, 10:13 AM	#2
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Is it really worth the effort? Ugh, you poor thing. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

01-23-2010, 10:16 AM	#3
squirell nutkin has a second hand user title Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: in a Nut House Posts: 2,017	I am asking myself that now. __________________ And now I'm finished posting.

01-23-2010, 10:53 AM	#4
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	Hmm I hope Uncle Homer didn't die on that couch and thats why they were selling it __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

01-23-2010, 10:58 AM	#6
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	i must have skipped a chapter somehow __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

01-23-2010, 12:17 PM	#7
squirell nutkin has a second hand user title Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: in a Nut House Posts: 2,017	I intro-ed this over in Prisoner of love and, in my grandiosity, failed to insert a link. I added Lestoil, (very piney) Ammonia, (fight fire with fire) and some simple green. Now it smells rather fragrant when wet. I also noted, from my post-Xmas tree needle vacuuming discovery, that fragrant things in the vacuum cleaner make the air smell nice and not so doogy. I pulverized some very nice incense and vacuumed it up in a new bag. Now all I need to do is light an oil lamp, put on the Doors first album, smoke a bowl, and then I'd be right back where I came from wishful sinful wicked... Whoa, sorry drifting there. I'm back. Did the Ottoman, and the arm chair. After lunch I'll tackle the couch. __________________ And now I'm finished posting.

01-23-2010, 12:55 PM	#8
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	You may be drying the leather out with that concoction. I highly recommend Lexol Leather Conditioner. Starting with the Lexol cleaner would be good too. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

01-23-2010, 12:59 PM	#9
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	I was wondering if that'd be a better route. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

01-23-2010, 01:36 PM	#10
squirell nutkin has a second hand user title Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: in a Nut House Posts: 2,017	Dudes, please. I've got a boatload of lexol in the house. You cannot put lexol on this shit, you'd just be further cementing the death-funk into the pores of the leather. Leather can take a lot of abuse, that's why they use leather in the first place. I've washed it off, dried it, it's still very supple. It had been waxed at some point. It smells better, but if you put your snout right up next to it, you can still smell. Now I've got the chair locked in the office and I'm burning about 50 sticks of VivaPine Sandalwood incense in there with it. I'm hoping the smoke will adhere to the leather a bit. I forgot to febreeze it first. __________________ And now I'm finished posting.

01-23-2010, 01:45 PM	#12
Juniper I know, right? Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,539	I feel for you. My house smells like cat piss.

01-23-2010, 01:55 PM	#13
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 7,013	Dennis and Spike's breeder has 5 adult cats, 4 queens and 1 male. They live in an addition she had put on the house just for them. Holy balls her house stunk so friggin bad. I remember Dennis needing 2 scrub downs just to get the smell off him... and Spike was almost as stinky when we picked him up. I wanted to just run in, grab him, and run out - but was forced to take a tour of the cat room and meet all the cats because she's so proud of them. So she's showing me the male and telling me how exceptional he is, that he's nice to all the moms and kittens and loves to snuggle and stuff, which was obvious becuase he had curled up on Spencer and was purring like crazy.... So then she says "And he doesn't spray!" "It doesn't smell like urine at all in here". Mind over matter apparently. We all went home and showered. __________________ Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good.

01-23-2010, 03:07 PM	#14
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	This reminds me of when I go to the sale barn to buy hay and I assume the horse people are thinking that guy stinks he must have cows. The cow guys thinks that guy stinks he must have sheep. The sheep guy thinks whew that guy must have hogs and the hog guy must think the horse guy stinks. __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

01-23-2010, 03:19 PM	#15
Pete Zicato Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago suburbs Posts: 2,916	There are a number of cleaning products that you can buy at the pet store that contain an enzyme to break down poo and pee smells. We've had very good luck with these. They don't cover up the smell, but break them down into simpler molecules that don't smell. __________________ Talk nerdy to me.

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