Public Speaking

Juniper · 10-30-2008, 12:48 AM

I hate it.

I really want to be good at it. But I have horrible "stage fright" - don't even need a stage, just an audience.

A few years ago I joined a chamber of commerce to market my business, and at their monthly meetings we had to stand up and introduce ourselves, give that little "elevator speech." I could do that, though not real well. It was a small, friendly group. Then we moved and I joined a bigger chamber and nearly passed out the first time I had to stand up and give that little speech. Ay, Caramba!

I have no idea why it bothers me so much. Logic, and all that. I just look at everyone and it SEEMS that they all have this WTF expression on their face, seriously, like "What the HELL is her problem?" And then suddenly I can't breathe. And if you can't breathe, you can't talk very well. So soon they ARE looking at me like WTF!

What this is leading up to is that I have to give a presentation tomorrow in front of my poetry class. We had to put together a PowerPoint thing analyzing a poem, then teach it to the class. I put a lot of work into this thing and I think it's pretty good. We had to record ourselves reading the poem. Natch I think I sound like hell -- I have such a weird voice when I hear it played back.

This "in front of the class" thing is also the source of my poetry phobia. When I was in high school I had to do something similar, but without technology -- life was simpler in 1985, pre-PowerPoint. Had to get up and analyze this poem. Well, I got those WTF looks and became convinced that I didn't know squat about poetry. I just never seemed to see poems the same way everyone else did. I figured I must be poem-blind the way some people are color blind or tone deaf.

But strangely, I seem to be doing well in poetry class. Really really well. Hm, maybe I'm not such a doofus after all.

But I will be, when I get up to do my presentation! Breathe, Junie, Breathe!!!!!

Think happy thoughts for me, will you, right about 12:30 EST?

Sundae · 10-30-2008, 05:18 AM

Deep breaths. That's the best I can suggest.
I am a victim of my own glands - mentally, I feel no fear, but then my stomach drops, I get butterflies and I am gripped by the physical fight or flight sensations.

The best way to clear this is deep breaths, and I guess that might be the same for breathlessness too.

I've never managed to visulaise the audience in their underwear, but the best tip I was given for natural public speaking was to picture my Mum in the audience and imagine giving the presentation to her. The person who advised me of that was a warm and personable public speaker who oozed confidence and authority. I have felt a lot better about addressing large groups of people since.

And don't forget, they actually want to hear what you have to say. And after all, many famous actors and great speakers have stage fright. They don't necessarily know you're nervous.

Good luck Juni - whatever you think of your personal performance, I'll bet there'll be some envious kids in the room.

Chocolatl · 10-30-2008, 06:45 AM

A lot of your classmates will feel empathy for you when you are up there because most of them don't like public speaking either.
I find it helps to find two or three people who you know (maybe people you've done group work with?) or that are at least giving you a benign smile. Use them as your anchors. If you're looking around and someone has a "?!?!" look on their face, look back at the person who is smiling and imagine that they understand what you're saying and would love to hear more.
Good luck! I'll be sending positive, confident vibes your way today.

(As a random aside, I used to be so afraid of public speaking and/or talking to strangers that I couldn't even call for pizza, knowing I'd have to speak to someone on the other end, or pay for things when I was out shopping because it meant I'd have to talk to a cashier. )

Treasenuak · 10-30-2008, 07:26 AM

-offers hugs- Happy thoughts coming your way. I've got confidence in you... even if you're nervous, I think you'll do just fine. And seeing poetry differently from everyone else is actually an asset... you'll be pointing out things to the class (and maybe even the prof!) that they may not have seen before, or may be seeing in a different light because of what you've said. Always a good thing!

Best of luck!

SquidGirl · 10-30-2008, 07:48 AM

I would recommend having focal points in the back beyond the people to the right, left and center that you make eye contact with that gives the appearance of eye contact with the audience. This will help ease anxiety. Also, having practice and have as much of a structured presentation possible will help. Just remember, like Chocolatl mentioned...a LOT of people have the same difficulty giving presentations that you do, even in your same class. Starting with a small group and moving into a larger one might help, too. Most importantly...have fun with your presentation. If you have fun with it (throw in a few jokes, get audience participation by asking questions, etc) it will feel more comfortable.

GOOD LUCK!!!!

dar512 · 10-30-2008, 10:47 AM

Many people have a greater fear of public speaking than they do of dying. Which mean, Seinfeld says, that you're better off being the one in the coffin than the one doing the eulogy.

It is normal to be nervous. It gets easier the more you do it.

Remember that you are not speaking to an audience, you are speaking to the people in your class. You know these folks. So don't speak to the whole class. Speak to one person. Look them in the eye. Then speak to another person on the other side of the room. Look them in the eye, too. Pretty soon the talk is over, and you've never spoken to more than one person at a time.

Shawnee123 · 10-30-2008, 10:51 AM

It does get easier.

Also, talk slowly. You might seem to yourself that you're going too slow, but nervous people tend to talk fast, so you want to slow it down...especially if you're normally a fast talker.

lumberjim · 10-30-2008, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dar512

Many people have a greater fear of public speaking than they do of dying. Which mean, Seinfeld says, that you're better off being the one in the coffin than the one doing the eulogy.

It is normal to be nervous. It gets easier the more you do it.

Remember that you are not speaking to an audience, you are speaking to the people in your class. You know these folks. So don't speak to the whole class. Speak to one person. Look them in the eye. Then speak to another person on the other side of the room. Look them in the eye, too. Pretty soon the talk is over, and you've never spoken to more than one person at a time.

That is excellent advice. i second it. I took public speaking in college, and by the end, you get off on it. a little. It made waiting tables at denny's a lot easier (did I mention that i didn't graduate?) when i had a large party.... i do address the salesmen as a group in saturday morning meetings (25 people in the room) and if you focus on being skeered, it makes it worse. concentrate on what you have to say, and ignore the mob.

HungLikeJesus · 10-30-2008, 11:08 AM

I, also, get extremely nervous when talking in public. Last year I had to give several public presentations (including one for Senator Ken Salazar) on renewable energy. Since I drive to work alone, I would practice in the car, trying to imagine what slides I would be showing. That got me a little more comfortable talking without having notes or reference material, and I was able to develop a little more of a conversational tone.

Pie · 10-30-2008, 12:36 PM

If there's one "really important guy" in the room, I like to focus on him/her and pretend they're the only one in the room.
Mostly, I've found that the better you know your material, the better you'll feel about presenting it. I go from "ohshitwhatdoIdo??" to "C'mon, try and stump me! I dare you!" depending on my level of preparation.

Pico and ME · 10-30-2008, 12:41 PM

I have nothing to offer in way of help with this problem. My whole body flushes with heat so badly that I feel like my head is a furnace. As a result, I get so discombobulated that I actually start to disassociate from the whole thing.

Its ugly.

Juniper · 10-30-2008, 02:08 PM

Well, I got through it. I didn't puke or anything.

I think I did go a little bit fast, but I got a few laughs and the teacher nodded and some folks asked intelligent questions which I managed to answer. Whew.

I know I wasn't the worst in the class, for sure. Some of them were (I hate to say this) kind of a snooze. Actually it's a good thing I went a little fast because the girl before me went on and on and on and on, and the class time was almost over.

I was the Very Last One to give my presentation, out of the whole class. Yikes.

Now...ahem...I have to do another PPT presentation in another class next Tuesday. Whee!

barefoot serpent · 10-30-2008, 03:06 PM

Toastmasters

DanaC · 10-30-2008, 03:48 PM

Well done Juniper

Bet you're glad that one's done lol.

I've found when doing presentations at University that being a mature student helps. I get the impression that the younger students find it much more daunting to impose themselves onto a space. Not to say that I don't get nervous, but there's a lot to be said for being comfortable in your own skin, something that blessedly seems to be one o fthe compensations that come with age :P

tw. · 10-30-2008, 03:54 PM

age comes with many benefits that your juvenile mind is unable to comprehend. only through the non-use of the words 'it' and 'a' and 'the' will you come to realize what you mental midgets have been missing.

10-30-2008, 12:48 AM	#1
Juniper I know, right? Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,539	Public Speaking I hate it. I really want to be good at it. But I have horrible "stage fright" - don't even need a stage, just an audience. A few years ago I joined a chamber of commerce to market my business, and at their monthly meetings we had to stand up and introduce ourselves, give that little "elevator speech." I could do that, though not real well. It was a small, friendly group. Then we moved and I joined a bigger chamber and nearly passed out the first time I had to stand up and give that little speech. Ay, Caramba! I have no idea why it bothers me so much. Logic, and all that. I just look at everyone and it SEEMS that they all have this WTF expression on their face, seriously, like "What the HELL is her problem?" And then suddenly I can't breathe. And if you can't breathe, you can't talk very well. So soon they ARE looking at me like WTF! What this is leading up to is that I have to give a presentation tomorrow in front of my poetry class. We had to put together a PowerPoint thing analyzing a poem, then teach it to the class. I put a lot of work into this thing and I think it's pretty good. We had to record ourselves reading the poem. Natch I think I sound like hell -- I have such a weird voice when I hear it played back. This "in front of the class" thing is also the source of my poetry phobia. When I was in high school I had to do something similar, but without technology -- life was simpler in 1985, pre-PowerPoint. Had to get up and analyze this poem. Well, I got those WTF looks and became convinced that I didn't know squat about poetry. I just never seemed to see poems the same way everyone else did. I figured I must be poem-blind the way some people are color blind or tone deaf. But strangely, I seem to be doing well in poetry class. Really really well. Hm, maybe I'm not such a doofus after all. But I will be, when I get up to do my presentation! Breathe, Junie, Breathe!!!!! Think happy thoughts for me, will you, right about 12:30 EST? Last edited by Juniper; 10-30-2008 at 12:54 AM.

10-30-2008, 05:18 AM	#2
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Deep breaths. That's the best I can suggest. I am a victim of my own glands - mentally, I feel no fear, but then my stomach drops, I get butterflies and I am gripped by the physical fight or flight sensations. The best way to clear this is deep breaths, and I guess that might be the same for breathlessness too. I've never managed to visulaise the audience in their underwear, but the best tip I was given for natural public speaking was to picture my Mum in the audience and imagine giving the presentation to her. The person who advised me of that was a warm and personable public speaker who oozed confidence and authority. I have felt a lot better about addressing large groups of people since. And don't forget, they actually want to hear what you have to say. And after all, many famous actors and great speakers have stage fright. They don't necessarily know you're nervous. Good luck Juni - whatever you think of your personal performance, I'll bet there'll be some envious kids in the room. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

10-30-2008, 10:47 AM	#6
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	Many people have a greater fear of public speaking than they do of dying. Which mean, Seinfeld says, that you're better off being the one in the coffin than the one doing the eulogy. It is normal to be nervous. It gets easier the more you do it. Remember that you are not speaking to an audience, you are speaking to the people in your class. You know these folks. So don't speak to the whole class. Speak to one person. Look them in the eye. Then speak to another person on the other side of the room. Look them in the eye, too. Pretty soon the talk is over, and you've never spoken to more than one person at a time. __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller

10-30-2008, 10:51 AM	#7
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	It does get easier. Also, talk slowly. You might seem to yourself that you're going too slow, but nervous people tend to talk fast, so you want to slow it down...especially if you're normally a fast talker. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

10-30-2008, 11:08 AM	#9
HungLikeJesus Only looks like a disaster tourist Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: above 7,000 feet Posts: 7,208	I, also, get extremely nervous when talking in public. Last year I had to give several public presentations (including one for Senator Ken Salazar) on renewable energy. Since I drive to work alone, I would practice in the car, trying to imagine what slides I would be showing. That got me a little more comfortable talking without having notes or reference material, and I was able to develop a little more of a conversational tone. __________________ Keep Your Bodies Off My Lawn SteveDallas's Random Thread Picker.

10-30-2008, 06:45 AM	#3
Chocolatl Glutton for Gluttony Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 1,409	A lot of your classmates will feel empathy for you when you are up there because most of them don't like public speaking either. I find it helps to find two or three people who you know (maybe people you've done group work with?) or that are at least giving you a benign smile. Use them as your anchors. If you're looking around and someone has a "?!?!" look on their face, look back at the person who is smiling and imagine that they understand what you're saying and would love to hear more. Good luck! I'll be sending positive, confident vibes your way today. (As a random aside, I used to be so afraid of public speaking and/or talking to strangers that I couldn't even call for pizza, knowing I'd have to speak to someone on the other end, or pay for things when I was out shopping because it meant I'd have to talk to a cashier. )

10-30-2008, 07:26 AM	#4
Treasenuak Multiorgasmic and wrapped in plastic Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Central Tennessee Posts: 483	-offers hugs- Happy thoughts coming your way. I've got confidence in you... even if you're nervous, I think you'll do just fine. And seeing poetry differently from everyone else is actually an asset... you'll be pointing out things to the class (and maybe even the prof!) that they may not have seen before, or may be seeing in a different light because of what you've said. Always a good thing! Best of luck!

10-30-2008, 07:48 AM	#5
SquidGirl Colloquialist Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Cavern in Mount Pleasant, MI Posts: 79	I would recommend having focal points in the back beyond the people to the right, left and center that you make eye contact with that gives the appearance of eye contact with the audience. This will help ease anxiety. Also, having practice and have as much of a structured presentation possible will help. Just remember, like Chocolatl mentioned...a LOT of people have the same difficulty giving presentations that you do, even in your same class. Starting with a small group and moving into a larger one might help, too. Most importantly...have fun with your presentation. If you have fun with it (throw in a few jokes, get audience participation by asking questions, etc) it will feel more comfortable. GOOD LUCK!!!!

10-30-2008, 12:36 PM	#10
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	If there's one "really important guy" in the room, I like to focus on him/her and pretend they're the only one in the room. Mostly, I've found that the better you know your material, the better you'll feel about presenting it. I go from "ohshitwhatdoIdo??" to "C'mon, try and stump me! I dare you!" depending on my level of preparation. __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

10-30-2008, 12:41 PM	#11
Pico and ME Are you knock-kneed? Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Middle Hoosierland Posts: 3,549	I have nothing to offer in way of help with this problem. My whole body flushes with heat so badly that I feel like my head is a furnace. As a result, I get so discombobulated that I actually start to disassociate from the whole thing. Its ugly.

10-30-2008, 02:08 PM	#12
Juniper I know, right? Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,539	Well, I got through it. I didn't puke or anything. I think I did go a little bit fast, but I got a few laughs and the teacher nodded and some folks asked intelligent questions which I managed to answer. Whew. I know I wasn't the worst in the class, for sure. Some of them were (I hate to say this) kind of a snooze. Actually it's a good thing I went a little fast because the girl before me went on and on and on and on, and the class time was almost over. I was the Very Last One to give my presentation, out of the whole class. Yikes. Now...ahem...I have to do another PPT presentation in another class next Tuesday. Whee!

10-30-2008, 03:06 PM	#13
barefoot serpent go ahead, abbrev. it Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Lawrence, KS Posts: 2,623	Toastmasters __________________ Chooses rowing vs. wading

10-30-2008, 03:48 PM	#14
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Well done Juniper Bet you're glad that one's done lol. I've found when doing presentations at University that being a mature student helps. I get the impression that the younger students find it much more daunting to impose themselves onto a space. Not to say that I don't get nervous, but there's a lot to be said for being comfortable in your own skin, something that blessedly seems to be one o fthe compensations that come with age :P

10-30-2008, 03:54 PM	#15
tw. Nabbed Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 34	age comes with many benefits that your juvenile mind is unable to comprehend. only through the non-use of the words 'it' and 'a' and 'the' will you come to realize what you mental midgets have been missing. __________________ Do you like Gladiator movies?

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