Opinions wanted

[Cyclefrance]

Hi Sheldon. I don't think we have been introduced. - maybe we have when I used to be an active member of this community back in 2005 and 2006. I have only just returned after a long absence.

Given the above, I hope you won't mind me adding to the observations already expressed by pothers with regards to your predicament. It struck me that the way he generated contact with you, through a letter from a third party to your sisters in which you are mentioned, indicates to me that he is well aware of the reception he is likely to get and so is approaching the desire he has to make contact as un-encroaching as possible. That's one way I think he may view what he is doing, forgetting another consequence of adopting this method.

You say you have made your decision to ignore the request . I don't think he will be surprised at this. Something his approach suggests. Who knows why he has made the decision to do this. Maybe he is ill, likely to die, or maybe he has witnessed or had an experience to realise what a terrible thing he did to you, your mother and your sisters.

Something has made him reach out, and when someone does that, in my case, I would find it hard to ignore, even in a situation similar to yours. Most of the responses here go along with the idea of responding, not ignoring, and I tend to go along with that, but I would use the opportunity to let your father know the scars he left behind and how visible to you they are even today, that your first reaction was to ignore his letter, and that assuming he must realise the situation he created, at least to give you the reason why he has tried to make this contact now. His answer, if there is one, will, or should confirm for you if your first intention to ignore him is the right answer or not.

At the moment the method he has used and the absence of this information is just screwing up your emotions and both you and your sisters deserve better than this. He clearly doesn't realise this other effect and if nothing else you should be entitled to put him straight on this point, without feeling that you are in some way giving him something he doesn't deserve by responding rather than ignoring.