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Old 02-18-2004, 12:03 AM   #16
elSicomoro
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Quote:
Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
C'mon Syc, don't expect everyone to come to the Cellar with the right answers. Some can come to study at your feet and drink the wisdom of your cup.
I always try to hold out hope for folks, but I dunno...some aren't fixable or worth fixing.
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Old 02-18-2004, 12:04 AM   #17
elSicomoro
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Quote:
Originally posted by juju
Yeah, they can drink from my cup, all right.
"She want my pimp juice...oooooooooo!"
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Old 02-18-2004, 03:29 PM   #18
headsplice
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Oddly enough, a ex-girlfriend of mine is having some marital difficulties, and she deals with it by doing exactly the opposite. She doesn't do damn thing that he wants an dsimply doesn't worry about what he's doing. Oddly enough, they are living together more amicably.
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Old 02-21-2004, 08:18 PM   #19
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Re: what I've learned about men and marriage

Quote:
Originally posted by undone
I agree, you may have missed out on some pretty important aspects to men and to marriage.
He can and ultimately should be your friend as well as your partner. The ability to laugh at oneself and ones partner is irreplaceable in marriage. How in the hell are you going to get through the tense moments or the boring nights or how bout the times when the kid is sick and won't stop screaming or your in-laws drop in unannounced for perhaps the twelfth time that week? My husband is my closest friend and ally. I haven't and won't disrespect him or ever make him feel he is less than all I want or need. He in return never hurts me either. This is not to say those feelings don't exist. We are normal people, we just don't lash out at each other.
I am glad I am not the man. I don't want to have a penis (whale or otherwise) I may not always want a penis inside me either but I think staying positive about it is the key. If you start to resent him and his penis then you may start having fantasies of killing him while you are having sex with him. (not killing him while you are having sex, but fantasizing about killing him instead of enjoying the sex.) I have been with my husband for 9 years. Three kids. Through the death of my mother. Through the discovery and reunion with my birth sibling. Through indiscretion. It has definitey been worth it. If I lost him I doubt I would marry again (although I would send out a search party) I figure I could not find this kind of joy and comaraderie with another. OK. Now those of you who are crying either from boredom or the overly sweet sentiment may get a kleenex.

You two seem to have it together. Good for you. So many people forget the catharsis that shared laughter can bring. You're lucky. Not everyone can learn to see it that way.
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Old 02-22-2004, 02:17 AM   #20
zippyt
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Marrage is a simple equation 1+1=1
Meening One indivigual plus One indivigual = Marrage
It is give and take , you BOTH have to do both .
My wife or I will come up with an idea , we will discuss it rationaly ( and if we are to pissed off to speak rationaly the other partner has the power to say "lets disscuss this when you arn't so pissed off ") , each of us have veto powers over the other. It has worked for 15 years come march 24
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Old 02-22-2004, 10:26 AM   #21
undone
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What I've learned about men and marriage

Congratulations Zippy,
15 years is something to crow about for sure. Marriage isn't for the weak-hearted.
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Old 02-22-2004, 10:47 AM   #22
novice
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That's a good run, congrats.
I once told a girlfriend "we should talk about this when you're not emotional"
And she said " You think this is emotional, huh? YOU THINK THIS IS EMOTIONAL ?"
Well, you can guess the rest.
I wonder how she's doing.
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Old 02-22-2004, 07:05 PM   #23
undone
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relationships.

Novice,
You are very wise. Congratulations on chewing your leg off and getting out of that trap. Maybe you could look her up on the "Bipolar poster girls 2004 calendar" website.
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Old 03-04-2004, 02:06 PM   #24
aerion_13
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How about 40 years? And we still laugh together. But argue too. The problem is each person gets set in his ways whether you're married or not.
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Old 03-04-2004, 05:59 PM   #25
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One for 7 and one for 22. Wonder how long the next ex will last?
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Old 03-04-2004, 06:24 PM   #26
Shattered Soul
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Quote:
Originally posted by zippyt
Marrage is a simple equation 1+1=1
Meening One indivigual plus One indivigual = Marrage
It is give and take , you BOTH have to do both .
My wife or I will come up with an idea , we will discuss it rationaly ( and if we are to pissed off to speak rationaly the other partner has the power to say "lets disscuss this when you arn't so pissed off ") , each of us have veto powers over the other. It has worked for 15 years come march 24
Too bad more people don't seem to think that way. I see, everyday, examples of people who are married thinking "me" "I" and "mine" instead of "we" "us" and "ours." They don't believe in give and take, only take. Your track record is admirable.
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Old 03-05-2004, 01:07 PM   #27
aerion_13
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I once told a girlfriend "we should talk about this when you're not emotional"
~~~~~~~~~~~
We're seldom not emotional. That's what makes us feminine. Ta da.......
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Old 03-14-2004, 10:12 AM   #28
godwulf
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It has been my observation and experience that most women want men to express our emotions, share our feelings, and tell them exactly what we are thinking...right up to the point when we say something that they don't want to hear. Then, we are undiplomatic, insensitive and rude. For their part, women tend to remain silent about a lot of the things that are going on in their heads, but that's okay - because if we truly cared, we men would know what they're thinking "without having to be told".

Most women would prefer to talk about a problem for six hours than solve it in five minutes. Nothing will piss off a woman faster than offering a possible solution to a problem that she has presented to you before she is ready to hear it.

Most women tend to be very understanding and forgiving when it comes to the more negative traits and tendencies most commonly seen in women (like the two mentioned above), but very unforgiving when it comes to the general tendencies - even the fairly benign ones - of men. Many women would seem to prefer that a man be simply a woman who happens to have a penis.
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Old 03-14-2004, 10:28 AM   #29
jinx
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Quote:
Originally posted by godwulf
Many women would seem to prefer that a man be simply a woman who happens to have a penis.
Where as you would prefer that a woman be simply a man who happens to have a vagina?
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Old 03-14-2004, 12:46 PM   #30
xoxoxoBruce
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Quote:
Many women would seem to prefer that a man be simply a woman who happens to have a penis.
Quote:
Where as you would prefer that a woman be simply a man who happens to have a vagina?
If everyone would accept the opposite sex is just that, opposite, weíd all be much happier.
He says, why canít you be less emotional and more rational?
She says, why canít you be less impatient and more sensitive?
I say, why canít you accept your partnerís differences and not try to change them.
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