Surprise

[jimhelm]

what's cis?

[Ibby]

"Cis-" as a prefix of Latin origin, meaning "on the same side [as]" or "on this side [of]"

; also definable as the opposite of "trans-".

[jimhelm]

Originally Posted by Ibram

; also definable as the opposite of "trans-".

glad I asked. I was using Carved In Stone in my head. worked a couple times you used it, but then it didn't, so I thought I'd better be sure.

[SamIam]

Welcome, Erika! I've always enjoyed your posts whether they are authored by Ibram or whoever. I congratulate you on doing what is intrinsic to your own well being. You rock!

[Clodfobble]

It's a synonym for straight. In molecular biology, you can have compounds that have the same molecules (say, C6-H12-O6) but which are in different arrangements. When certain arrangements are symmetrical, they are called cis-, when they are twisted one side opposite the other, they are called trans-. Literally, cis is the opposite of trans, it just doesn't get used in many places outside of hard science.

[Ibby]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

It's a synonym for straight.

well, no. It's not really at all. if you mean straight as in the opposite of gay, one's orientation and one's gender or identity are utterly unrelated. if you mean straight as in the opposite of crooked, you're thinking ortho-.

The trans* community and the gay community are often closely allied, and the LGBTQ umbrella is intended to include them both, but cis- means straight the same way trans- means gay. as in, not at all.

[jimhelm]

Originally Posted by Ibram

LGBTQ

hold on!

What the hell is the Q for? I've heard LGBT... you're just making shit up now, right?

[Ibby]

Originally Posted by jimhelm

hold on!

What the hell is the Q for? I've heard LGBT... you're just making shit up now, right?

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans*, Queer. It's the most inclusive iteration of the acronym - I am a strong proponent of reclaiming queer as an identity and unpolarizing descriptor of all non-hetero, non-cis, non-binarist people regardless of where they lie in the identity spectrum. I very much believe in a wide plethora of identity descriptors, to whatever point of absurdity you feel your own identity to require, and the progressive iterations of "gay community", "gay and lesbian community", "lesbian gay bisexual community" etc managed to be less than fully inclusive. I don't want to erase the asexual community (those that identify as part of the wider queer community - many don't), the genderqueer community (many of whom consider trans or even trans* (the star implies a "wildcard" suffix, not an asterisk) too limiting a definition), the pansexual community (which I feel like I belong to, even if I describe myself as bisexual, because i reject the idea that gender or even sex is so binary), etc, by staying behind the curve. I really do encourage you to try to delve into the complexities of the queer community online - there is a lot of really interesting discussion on this sort of thing, even if you find yourself skeptical or even dismissive of some of the community. I can't claim to be equally understanding of all parts of the wide community out there, but I can try to be equally supportive, regardless of how far outside the mainstream they seem to be.

[Sheldonrs]

Congratulations on taking such a big step. And on behalf of the dick-sucking community, Thank you for keeping yours. I have the pics you posted saved on my computer still and I'm no good at photoshop!

:-)

HUGS!

[monster]

Here it means Questioning. *shrug*

[jimhelm]

I don't want to sound like I'm criticizing you here, Ib. I like you. I just want to say something.

It seems like all of this "Identification" you're doing is distracting you from just being who you are. Why worry so much about how other people see you? Who you are has little to do with what you call yourself, or what ideas are floating around in your head. You are not your thoughts or ideas. You are the being that observes them.

You won't be happy with you until you can own that, I think. just be you.

[Ibby]

Originally Posted by jimhelm

I don't want to sound like I'm criticizing you here, Ib. I like you. I just want to say something.

It seems like all of this "Identification" you're doing is distracting you from just being who you are. Why worry so much about how other people see you? Who you are has little to do with what you call yourself, or what ideas are floating around in your head. You are not your thoughts or ideas. You are the being that observes them.

You won't be happy with you until you can own that, I think. just be you.

I feel like I'm not the one deciding what categories there are, here. But since ours is not a world with universally neutered pronoun usage, lack of gender roles and stereotypes, universal respect for every person as an individual without assuming things about them based on their genitalia - i am not comfortable, i struggle with consistent dysphoria and anxiety, as a cis male. I feel like staying closeted, or remaining within the limits of cisgendered life, puts such limits on expressing who i am, the way you say I should.

Basically, what you're saying is, "it seems like all this stuff about being 'gay' is distracting you from just, liking who you like. Why worry about how other people see you? who you like has very little to do with what you call yourself." Do you see what I mean? In a world without extreme normative pressures, coming out is unimportant - if there is NO connotation or implication or importance to your identity, there is no reason to make that identity public. But that is not the world I have to feel comfortable living in - in the world I have to live in, not only am I more comfortable defining myself as something other than male, I feel like all members of the trans* and broader queer community have an obligation to come out if their personal circumstances allow, for the betterment of the entire community through visibility and solidarity (though i do not grudge those who don't feel comfortable or safe coming out their closets).

[ZenGum]

It seems like perfectly normal young-adult-forming-personality type behaviour to me.

It just reminded me, though, when I was in first year at uni, I had a crush on a girl named Erika. Took me about six months to realise she was a lesbian.

[jimhelm]

No, thats not what I'm saying.

I'm saying that you'll never find a label, be it cis or qwerty...or any of them that will cure your angst. Only realizing that these labels are meaningless and limiting will release you from your confusion.

You are unique and beautiful. You are the same as all of us....and beautiful. If calling yourself erika and wearing a female costume makes you happy, fucking do it. Just don't expect these things to bring you fulfillment. Don't derive your identity from the perception of others. Not others that agree with your opinions, even.

Have a blast exploring this lifestyle, bud. If its what you want to do, do it up proper. You've always had pinache. But once youre used to it, and that

[monster]

Originally Posted by jimhelm

No, thats not what I'm saying.

I'm saying that you'll never find a label, be it cis or qwerty...or any of them that will cure your angst. Only realizing that these labels are meaningless and limiting will release you from your confusion.

You are unique and beautiful. You are the same as all of us....and beautiful. If calling yourself erika and wearing a female costume makes you happy, fucking do it. Just don't expect these things to bring you fulfillment. Don't derive your identity from the perception of others.

This.

Except that you love the attention and the limelight I think, and for that, you need an official "persona" to present. you want to be introduced to people, so you need a name.... am I way off base?