Confused about reaction

[Violet Haze]

Originally Posted by Cyclefrance

It's a shame that we react that way as it gives the wrong impression. I don't believe it's anything more than the element of surprise at NOT seeing what you expect - i.e. a person sitting in a chair. The trouble is that we, as human beings, aren't very good at dealing with these situations. The obvious thing to do might be to say what we feel - would a 'hey, sorry, you threw me there, must have looked as though I was staring at you because you're in a wheelchair, but it's just that I was expecting a chair not a wheelchair - I feel an idiot!' not be more straightforward and appropriate? But feeling that we have made one mistake by 'staring' rather than put the record straight we tend to try to cover the impression we believe we are creating (staring at someone in a wheelchair) by avoiding the issue of putting matters straight - and then we end up making things worse - we overplay the act of trying to ignore the situation - and that draws even more attention to it. There's an old saying that goes 'if you put yourself in a hole the first thing you should do is stop digging' - the trouble is we seldom do.

Maybe I'm being overkind with my explanation? I don't really think so. Sure, there are a few people out there who might deliberately berate someone in a wheelchair, but for most of us it's the surprise element and then we screw up by turning the surprise into something that can be conceived as being rude and distasteful by what we do next.

I think you're bang on.

rkzenrage - what happened to necessitate the wheelchair?