Confused about reaction
 

I was at a bar that I have never been to today, younger people (20s & 30s mostly).
Every third person that walked by or in the door would stop and stare at me like they just saw a snake or bomb, as if "OMG! A guy in a WHEELCHAIR!"
Seriously, staring right at me with this shocked expression on their face for a good five seconds.
Then they would quickly look away, sometimes at the ceiling and briskly walk away, giving me a very wide berth.
It was HILARIOUS, and VERY creepy at the same time.
I would waive at them or smile, and they would freak... in a very "frozen" kinda' way.
What the hell?
We never did figure it out (the people at my table).
My wife thinks it's because I'm "young" and it was "weird" to see someone who is not very old or "sick looking" in a wheelchair for young people (It was mostly the 20ish kids doing it.
But, I don't usually get that kind of reaction in public...
It was just weird.

They probably didn't mean to stare. Their reaction was the light bulb going off over their head. They were thinking, Why didn't I think of that? Back when I used to go to bars, a wheel chair would of come in real handy.

Not really, it is a huge pain in the ass in a bar. Once you get in a spot, after you have had the ENTIRE bar rearranged for you, you stay, unless you are willing to make everyone move again.

That's weird rk. Horrible having people stare at you, I think. When I was a kid my eczema used to get so bad I'd be covered in bandages, and my face would swell up. People stared, one woman even pulled her kid away from me; I think she was scared her kid would catch whatever i had :P

It proababy wasn't the wheelchair as a whole. It was probably because you're so dammed good looking.

I'm not albino, but I might as well play one on TV. The absolutely most accepting group of people in a huge crowd that I've ever seen is at science fiction conventions. A few other geek type events, too.

My experience with twenty-somes lately is all family. They are amazingly narrow-minded and insular, to my way of thinking. My sister's kids and their friends... I'd hope they would take a wheelchair user in stride, but I don't know anymore.

What the fuck do they think wheelchair ramps and access are for? Skateboards?

Good point Sky!

Right now, I have a bandage high on my forehead. I could have used flesh colored paper tape, but used the white that was handy. Now I'm thinking of taking my dog to the dog beach, but wondering if I should wear a hat or change the bandage to something less obvious. I don't care much about people staring generally, but I think I would train my dog to sic if people annoy me too much today.

Yesterday, a kid visiting at the neighbor's house borrowed a junk bike from me. I took my dog out later. Quiet cul-de-sac, no leash on a border collie cross golden of advanced years. Pepperoncini perked up when she saw our bike and a strange kid. The kid dropped the bike in the middle of the circle and ran into their open garage. It really pissed me off that a ten or twelve year old kid did not know how to behave safely around a dog. My dog is fine. She's never bitten anyone, but she is overly protective for good cause. She could have killed that kid if she was just any dog. My biggest problem there is lack of personal responsibility on the part of the parents raising that kid. You take a kid like that, bring him down to the islands and he behaves like that and he'll be losing a chunk of his leg. Forget the Caribbean, that could happen in some neighborhoods and rural areas around here. So what planet did those parents grow up on? Did they pass their parenting classes? Oh yeah, you don't need to prove you have enough smarts to have a kid, you just do it.

RK, was your fly open? :D

Because of my hydritinitis I am shunned allot. and it hurts. Back in the day when I would go out and one of these things would break open I would go from hurting to stinking instantly. It has affected me personally and professedly. People will move away from me and call me names. I understand being the center of attention I dream of being like every one else. I don't go out without preparation and planning I carry a canvas bag with me all the time with pads, and drugs. When I was having to ride the bus and I had this bag with me people thought I was a shoplifter or worse. It attracts unwanted attention. Living with a handicap is not hard, getting other people to believe that you are not a danger to them is.

I think your wife and sky are exactly right. Their little schema of the world doesn't include good looking people in wheelchairs. They think wheelchair and automatically see in their heads some frail old guy in his 90's in a Hoveround or a "retarded" kid who is drooling on himself.

Screw 'em, go back with some buddies and enjoy your beer. OMG he has friends too???!?1

Seeing someone in a chair, that's obviously not old or maimed, has got to raise curiosity. Just about the time (talking seconds here) the questions are formed in the mind, the memory of Mom grabbing you by the ear and saying, "don't stare, it's not polite... be quiet... move along", kick in.
If the person in the chair has noticed, then it's deer in the headlights awkward, followed by flight.

See, it's always Mom's fault.

Maybe you were a little slice of reality in the middle of a bunch of drunks escaping it. *shrug* You were a bouncer, you probably understand drinkers better than most.

People do tend to stare when there's something out of the ordinary. Doesn't matter much what it is. I work with mentally disabled people in the summer, and people always stare at us. Boys in their teens will make jokes and laugh at us as well, which is incredibly rude behavior. It makes me want to kick their asses sometimes (but I'm representing, so I have to hold my tongue). And as mentioned before: people are brought up with their parents telling them it's rude to stare, so they get used to ignoring anyone out of the ordinary instead of just not caring wether they're there or not. If we weren't forced to "not stare" as kids, we'd probably be less akward when we got older.

Maybe if they're all young they've been on the hooch an didn't expect a new person to be there which made them 'paranoid maaaan'. ;)

Bugger them!

As I get older, I'm starting to understand why my parents used to compain about young people being rude.