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Old 04-29-2008, 10:54 AM   #1
smoothmoniker
to live and die in LA
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Los Angeles
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundae Girl View Post
Magic 8 ball, will my corset arrive in time for my night out Saturday?
It is doubtful. It will, however, arrive in time for Sunday morning church.

Quote:
And will my shoes give me blisters?
The magic 8 ball doesn't think you care. You'll wear them because they're kicky and sexy, and they make your legs look wicked fierce. You're willing to put up with a little gaping foot wound to get some of that action going.
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Old 04-29-2008, 08:38 AM   #2
classicman
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
 
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Magic 8 Ball - will it happen or not?
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Old 04-29-2008, 10:59 AM   #3
smoothmoniker
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Quote:
Originally Posted by classicman View Post
Magic 8 Ball - will it happen or not?
Cantaloupe.

Ask a shitty question, get a shitty answer. The magic 8 ball is not your husband, he cannot read your mind. Now go fetch me a beer.
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Old 04-30-2008, 02:22 PM   #4
classicman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothmoniker View Post
Cantaloupe.

Ask a shitty question, get a shitty answer. The magic 8 ball is not your husband, he cannot read your mind. Now go fetch me a beer.
Uh not happening dude, The magic 8-ball knows the answer and must concede a Yes or No through the smoothster monikerooski.
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Old 04-30-2008, 05:52 PM   #5
smoothmoniker
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Quote:
Originally Posted by classicman View Post
The magic 8-ball knows the answer and must concede a Yes or No through the smoothster monikerooski.
The Magic 8 ball must do nothing by your say-so!
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Old 04-29-2008, 11:03 AM   #6
LabRat
twatfaced two legged bumhole
 
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Magic 8 ball - if my cultures croak again tomorrow, will I be able to figure out the problem before the next set is due to be put down?
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:18 PM   #7
smoothmoniker
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LabRat View Post
Magic 8 ball - if my cultures croak again tomorrow, will I be able to figure out the problem before the next set is due to be put down?
You will not. It will take three more iterations of failure and reset before you realize that the housekeeping crew washed all the MacConkey agar plates with lemony fresh Palmolive.
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Old 04-29-2008, 11:04 AM   #8
Cicero
Looking forward to open mic night.
 
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Magic 8 ball- Is Pushkin going to reject my resume? Leaving me at a new level of professional rejection (one that is more personal and sad for me)?
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:20 PM   #9
smoothmoniker
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cicero View Post
Magic 8 ball- Is Pushkin going to reject my resume? Leaving me at a new level of professional rejection (one that is more personal and sad for me)?
Yes, but not for the reason you think. The first letter of each line in your "skills" section spell out a particularly filthy acrostic, which Pushkin will assume is a come-on.
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Old 04-30-2008, 10:17 AM   #10
Sun_Sparkz
Has Body Temperature
 
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Magic 8 ball - should i become a professional busker living for tips and cans of soup instead of continuing as a finance advisor with a chrysler and an apartment smelling of rich mahogany?
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:22 PM   #11
smoothmoniker
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sun_Sparkz View Post
Magic 8 ball - should i become a professional busker living for tips and cans of soup instead of continuing as a finance advisor with a chrysler and an apartment smelling of rich mahogany?
People don't realize how nutrient-rich dreams are. When all else fails, they make a delicious base for a hearty soup, cooked over a roaring fire of your own pitiful regrets.
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Old 04-30-2008, 10:25 AM   #12
Dingleschmutz
is not a palindrome...
 
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Negrodamus, why do white people love Wayne Brady so much?
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:23 PM   #13
smoothmoniker
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingleschmutz View Post
Negrodamus, why do white people love Wayne Brady so much?
Magic 8 ball is not amused. Your privileges have been suspended.
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Old 04-30-2008, 11:11 PM   #14
Dingleschmutz
is not a palindrome...
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothmoniker View Post
Magic 8 ball is not amused. Your privileges have been suspended.
I'm sorry, the correct answer was "White people love Wayne Brady because he makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X"

I've lost faith in 8-balldamus... I will no longer be needing its services. Unless it can bring back that great trend from a couple years ago where people incessantly quote the "YAAAYUH" "OHKAAAY!" and "WHAT??" catchphrases from the L'il Jon Chapelle's Show episodes. Gawd that was a fantastic time.
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Old 05-01-2008, 01:45 AM   #15
smoothmoniker
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingleschmutz View Post
I'm sorry, the correct answer was "White people love Wayne Brady because he makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X"

I've lost faith in 8-balldamus... I will no longer be needing its services.
The Magic 8 ball got the reference, and knew the answer you were expecting, the magic eight ball simply refused to indulge your pathetic attempt at pop culture reference humor.
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