My (and your) big, fat ass

[orthodoc]

I thought it'd drop off but it doesn't, not the fat part. The extra water goes. the steroids do put fat on you. They also put your appetite into overdrive. When I wasn't wanting to die of nausea or actively hurling, I felt like eating constantly. I went through a ton of celery but people would bring me treats as well and I couldn't resist. It's only 15 lb but my clothes don't fit!! And I hate shopping. I ordered a couple of skirts online so I wouldn't scandalize people at work but otherwise, the weight has to go!

'Easy keeper' is horse lingo, I think - it means I can maintain my weight with very little fodder.

[footfootfoot]

I don't want to sound lick a broken record but...

I can't say enough good things about Welbutrin in terms of appetite and reigning in fodder abuse.

I'll see your horse lingo and raise you one.

[BigV]

too late.

Anyhow, the most valuable part of mfp for me has been in helping me enforce some reasonable, no, effective portion control. Now I "know" what/how much I'm eating, because I'm careful enough to measure it so I can record it. Before, it (portion control) was determined by other factors like how ***starvin*** I was, and that led to weight gain.

If you're getting your portion control, or exercise activity or combination of the two realized by other means, you're losing weight without the need for mfp and more power to you.

There are other aspects to the tool and the weight losing process like the camaraderie of shared effort and sacrifice. I'll just share that here in this thread instead then.

[BigV]

Originally Posted by orthodoc

I find it helpful for keeping track of calories. Scary how fast you get to (past) 1200 and I need less than that to lose weight. The only weight loss plan that has ever worked for me is: Stay Hungry.

Still haven't recovered from a workout 10 days ago. I think I hurt my cells.

Sorry you hurt your cells, orthodoc.

As for your endorsement of "stay hungry" as a weight plan, I say no way. What is the point of continuous suffering? Now, I don't mind being hungry, if I know a tasty meal is forthcoming. But staying hungry? No, sorry. My new experience with this tool helps me be satisfied in my belly while being cognizant of the amount of food I'm taking in, and balance those accordingly. There have been two obvious changes. I've lost some weight, and eating less and better. One thing that hasn't changed is that I still don't feel hungry, not in a suffering way.

Heh, I should mention that I had an experience of just the opposite this weekend. Twil and I went to a local burger joint, Five Guys Burgers (five stars too!) and I got what would have normally been a regular meal, a cheeseburger, fries and a drink (actually, half a drink, we shared one). At the end of the meal, I was overfull, uncomfortably, thanksgiving-style-pass-the-pepto packed. wtf? A cheeseburger did this to me? Embarrassing! But it's an indicator that my body is adapting to the changes I'm enforcing upon it, and I'm happy for this change. I like being satisfied and being satisfied with less food is a very, very good thing.

[orthodoc]

I think part of my problem with not feeling satisfied at 1200 calories is that right now I need a ton of nutrients for cell repair, and I can mostly get that through cooking fresh, whole foods with careful attention to nutrient content - but I still don't have the energy to plan, shop, lug groceries, cook, and clean up. I started on a supplement regimen a couple weeks ago but it made me nauseated.

I'm slowly working in a little cooking and restarting the supplements gradually. I think I won't feel hungry so much when I've gone a little further in recovery. For now, though, I'm ravenous - eating berries, oranges, whole grains, veggies, etc., but too much is still too much. I've never felt so hungry before. It'll be interesting to see how that perception changes as my body gets over the chemo.

[orthodoc]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

I can't say enough good things about Welbutrin in terms of appetite and reigning in fodder abuse.

I'll see your horse lingo and raise you one.

I'll keep that in mind; don't know if it helps with hot flashes but if it does, I'll request it. My onco is likely to suggest something like Effexor to help with the nuclear hot flashes that tamoxifen kindly provides. I don't know how they could be any worse than what I already have from chemo, but who knows. Anyway - help with the appetite would be a good thing. It would interfere with my little n of 1 study, but in this case I'll sacrifice science for results.

Be careful how much you raise; I have more where that came from.

[xoxoxoBruce]

I should think body repair is much more important than being svelte, right now. Fat, while not fashionable or chic, serves as an important reserve for times of stressful conditions.

Me, I'm ready for the Apocalypse.

[orthodoc]

You're right, Bruce - I'm just struggling with the conflict between the idea I'd had of where I should be in mid-March (that kept me going through Dec & Jan) and the reality, which isn't even close. I want my old self back!

I had also wanted to be further along in recovery before starting tamoxifen, if only to be able to be sure that any side effects were due to it rather than leftover chemo issues. But I see the onco tomorrow and he won't want me to wait months to start the stuff. I'm honestly not even sure I want to take it. Guess I'll see if he can make a case that convinces me.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Considering the schedule/goals you're shooting for, in parallel with the treatment you're having, I knew from the outset you're insane.

I'm still gobsmacked by all you have managed to accomplish this winter, even with the blindsides piled on. But I guess you did it by setting seemingly impossible goals, then achieving most of them.

I think, "you go girl", is what the kids vernacular is these days.

[orthodoc]

You are much too kind.

I'll see what the onco says. I don't want to spend the next ten years in misery with tamoxifen/AI side effects, but neither do I want to make the wrong decision and end up with metastatic disease in 2-3 years. Even with tamoxifen the recurrence risk is substantial (25% minimum) for at least 15 years. Decisions, decisions.