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12-07-2011, 07:56 AM
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#1 |
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Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
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 What do you do if you see your husband stumbling around the back yard? Shoot him again. |
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12-07-2011, 09:50 AM
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#2 |
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To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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Those were pretty funny though they were in the wrong thread. The first one I heard as a Jewish grandmother telling the homeless man "Force yourself"
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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12-08-2011, 02:02 PM
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#3 |
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Banned
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 72
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12-08-2011, 10:32 PM
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#4 |
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barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
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Just to keep things moving from the stupid "thing" above ...
The Dali Lama walks into a Pizza shop and asks Can you make me one with everything?
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"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt |
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12-09-2011, 08:17 AM
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#5 |
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Старый сержант
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: NC, dreaming of large Russian women.
Posts: 1,464
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Here is a video to try and make up for that other video. I laughed at quite a few, but I'm a simple guy.
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Birth, wealth, and position are valueless during wartime. Man is only judged by his character --Soldier's Testament. Death, like birth, is a secret of Nature. - Marcus Aurelius. Last edited by regular.joe; 12-09-2011 at 08:18 AM. Reason: I wish I could type. |
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12-09-2011, 08:17 AM
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#6 |
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Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
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To assist with the moving along:
Wife: Okay, today's Friday. Where's your pay envelope? Man: I already spent all my pay. I bought something for the house. Wife: What? What could you buy for the house that cost $480? Man: Eight rounds of drinks. |
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12-09-2011, 11:57 AM
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#7 |
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I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
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...and then she hit him
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
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12-09-2011, 12:39 PM
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#8 |
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Back in 10
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,684
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FIFY
and then she shot him
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Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind. |
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12-09-2011, 02:05 PM
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#9 |
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Professor
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
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A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back, "said one youngster. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce |
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12-12-2011, 03:58 AM
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#10 | |
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The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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From 51 jokes in 4 minutes:
Quote:
__________________
 These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
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12-12-2011, 07:43 AM
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#11 | |
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Старый сержант
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: NC, dreaming of large Russian women.
Posts: 1,464
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Quote:
oh, there have been two thousand posts before mine all posted in the nano scale of fractions of seconds since this video was posted, and half of them say 'first' because they two were slow on the submit button and did not pray to the gods of the bandwidth for a faster connection. I hope that helps to understand that joke.
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Birth, wealth, and position are valueless during wartime. Man is only judged by his character --Soldier's Testament. Death, like birth, is a secret of Nature. - Marcus Aurelius. |
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12-12-2011, 08:41 PM
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#12 |
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Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB.
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Chicago suburbs
Posts: 2,916
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Relative of yours, UT?
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   Talk nerdy to me. |
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12-13-2011, 12:48 AM
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#13 |
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Banned
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 72
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12-13-2011, 07:25 AM
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#14 | |
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Старый сержант
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: NC, dreaming of large Russian women.
Posts: 1,464
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Quote:
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Birth, wealth, and position are valueless during wartime. Man is only judged by his character --Soldier's Testament. Death, like birth, is a secret of Nature. - Marcus Aurelius. |
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12-13-2011, 02:48 AM
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#15 | |
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The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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Quote:
__________________
These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
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Hybrid Mode
