This is how my last week and a half went.

[DanaC]

Damn, Spexx, that's a horrible week and a half.

It may have been worse than my Dad’s death because I caused it. I paid for it.

I know where you're coming from with this. It's such a hard thing to do. But it's also the right thing to do and an act of deep love. This is the compact we make with the animal members of our families. It's worth reminding yourself of that from time to time. You did right by your girl. *hugs*

I remember with Pilau - no matter that the vet was telling me it was time, and no matter that I knew, deep down that it was time, I was still assailed by doubts that I might be leaping too soon, that there might be another small recovery and a little more time. Then after the fact I was assailed by doubts that I had maybe waited too long. Being responsible for a decision of that magnitude, on behalf of someone you love who is unable to tell you how they feel is a very strange and discomfiting thing. There is also a beauty to it, though it took a while for me to really see that.