what job do you wish you had thought of

[Undertoad]

My cruise doctor experience:

Me: Hi, I was snorkeling and caught my leg on a hunk of coral and now I have a one-inch gash and it's four days from home and I'm wondering if you could help do something with it.

Doc: well I could bandage it for you but it would cost you $75. Or I could give you these bandages and alcohol swabs for free.

Me: Although this should probably have been stitched, and the trail of blood leads back from the beach to the gangway to your little office here, you have failed to warn me that using the ship's jacuzzis could give me a nasty infection. I will bandage it up myself. Thank you, you have convinced me not to use your services.

Doc: Good luck. Change the dressing every once in a while.