The Gender Equality Checkpoint

[Sundae]

Just as an aside, I happened to mention to a male friend about recently being offered money to perform a sex act. He was really quite shocked. I had to make a mental adjustment to remember that for a man, this is not the sort of thing they hear on a regular basis.

I have never accepted a straightforward financial transaction in return for sexual favours, although I admit the lines became blurred between me and the Evil Ex, who would summon me over when it suited him, but I would always leave with more than it would cost me to get home.

But I have had the opportunity to be paid for full intercourse, oral sex (that seems to be a favourite, with the lowest offered being £50) and even anal (£200). None of these men were complete strangers either, I hadn't wandered into a red light district and been mistaken for a prostitute. They were men I knew socially, worked with, drank with or bought food from. And in every case my refusal was shrugged off with an attitude of, "Ah well, it was worth a try."

I know I'm not alone in my experience; look what happened with the poor teenage girls groomed by gangs of men. I was just older and had a more secure self-image and home life, so that I didn't get started on that particular slippery slope. But I think men who don't try to get a bit of female flesh for hire don't realise that this goes on. Perhaps even the really fun guy that they crack open a few beers with has tried it on occasion. And then they wonder why women can sometimes be genuinely offended by a pat on the bottom or a catcall in the street.

Anyway, as you were.

[it]

Originally Posted by Sundae

But I think men who don't try to get a bit of female flesh for hire don't realise that this goes on. Perhaps even the really fun guy that they crack open a few beers with has tried it on occasion. And then they wonder why women can sometimes be genuinely offended by a pat on the bottom or a catcall in the street.

Anyway, as you were.

We hear about it the same way women who don't get this kind of attention hear about it - from stories of our friends who do - and it's hard for both men and women to get because, well...



To put it in perspective, while some women get sick and exhausted from beating the horde of potential lovers away with a stick, many women and almost all men can occasionally go through a few years without anyone approaching and saying anything that can remotely be interpreted as complimenting or nice. For women it's because male attention is rather focused on the upper tire, you can see it manifesting in statistics in places like okcupid where very few women receive almost all messages. For men it's because female intentions aren't usually expressed that directly and men don't generally have a culture of complimenting each other. From that position, the implication that someone is finding you attractive is a lot more significant then the implication that your standards are low enough that you'd accept money.