What's bumming your stone today?

[footfootfoot]

When it shits, it pours, should be the name of this thread.

A salad spinner of fuck is what my friend calls it.

Between snow days (= no pay) my being sick (= no pay) an unexpected heating oil bill (holy shit how did we use that much fuel and when did the price get that high? -first winter in the tiny house that uses as much oil as my other house that is 3x as big) The deer and car incident, now the new car has lost a cylinder or worse (I'll find out later today) and then rent and all the regular bills arriving all at once has put into stark relief (cliche) just how tenuous and fucked my position is.

Leaving aside the immediate problem, which although dire in many respects is actually not as serious as the long term problem. Even if I were to suddenly pay all my bills this moment and get my car fixed, it would just get the ship above water but wouldnot address the underlying sinking problem, I'd be back in the same spot in a few months.

The job I've got now was really only meant to be temporary as it pays only $15/hr and only about 6 - 61/2 hours a day when school is in session. No other benefits at all. This is about 25% less than my survival amount.

Luckily, I have a small job coming up that may make me a grand or so, but again, it's not much.

Another aspect to the problem, and one that I am addressing, is having a regular schedule where I see my kids. If I had regualr predictable times when I could see them it would be possible to find additional work that I could schedule around them. Their mom seems to be lying a lot to herself and me about what the kids shrink has to say about this. I've grown tired of catching her out and watching her backpedal and equivocate. I now, pretty much assume that when she is talking she is just saying what she wants the truth to be.

So, I'm gearing up for what will probably only be solved with a legal battle, mainly because she isn't straight and would need to be forced by law to do something. Notice I didn't write forced by law to see she is wrong. The whole world could tell her she was wrong and she'd think they were mistaken. (Remember her mom is the church shopper who visited 150 different churches and couldn't find one of them that preached the proper gospel. The apple doesn't fall far...)

So I see this problem as being

1. I want to see the kids at least half time.
2. I need to get a better paying job > This may include returning to school for a masters degree in education or another BS in Science (chem/ bio/ etc)
3. I need to finalize the divorce and resolve ownership of my house. I'd rather not let it go, but at this point I can't afford it on what I'm earning. I'm not sure if I kept it how I'd keep it afloat while I was in school, and for that matter how I'd keep anything afloat while I was in school.
4. School may not actually be an option, and may not actually lead to more job opportunities for me.
5. I'm sure there's a simple solution that I'm just not seeing.
6. The house is not salable in its current condition. Siding needs to go up, interior trim needs to go up, some drywall and painting, repairs to the boiler and heating system, some more wiring, a final inspection to close the permit, and probably something big I'm missing.
7. I need to get my other rotator cuff fixed. It's been 3 years since my other surgery and the right one hurts like fuck all the time. If I can get it done while I'm still teaching, it would be an easy job while I'm doing my year of re-hab/recovery.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

So, I'm gearing up for what will probably only be solved with a legal battle, mainly because she isn't straight and would need to be forced by law to do something.

Don't get your hopes up on this one, I've seen this happen before. Courts can't make anyone do anything, they can only punish people. When she continues to jerk you around you can't call 911 and have them send a squad car to make her behave.

No, you have to get your lawyer to contact the court, set a court date which will get postponed at the last minute by her lawyer... several times. Then in four or five months you'll finally get to the judge, you both give your side of the story. Her side complete with the extenuating circumstances that forced the change of plans, and how difficult life is because you're such a tyrant.

Then the judge gives her a stern warning to follow the court rules in the future, at which point she thanks him for his understanding and promises to do what's best for the children. The judge then tells you to stop being such an inflexible tyrant toward the faithful struggling wife you abandoned.

Preposterous scenario? Not unless NY courts are very different from other state courts. Sorry if I'm dashing your hopes, but it's better to be warned of the worst case of what may come.