Fuck You Jean

[Gravdigr]

From memory:

The Cat Got Dead

by Heywood Banks

O, the cat got dead
So we put him in a box
And we dug a little hole
And we covered it with rocks
Then we picked a couple dandelions
And said a little prayer
Then we all went off to bed
Cuz we mostly didn't care

But, in the middle of the night
A doggy started sniffin
Twas a Labrador Retriever
That belonged to Mrs. Griffin
And even though the cat was smelly & stiff
He thought it'd be a nice addition
To Mrs. Griffin's kitchen

Cause throughout the house
She had a kitty motif
With kitties on her coat, and her couch
And her colostomy
People bought her kitty gifts
But all the doggy could afford
Was a cat he dug up
With a case of rigor mortis.

When the woman saw the cat
There began the pandemonium
The dog dropped the cat
And it clunked to the Congoleum
It sprang back to life
Right there on the linoleum
Shook its shaggy head
Out of its catatonium

From the floor to the counter
And all over the kitchen
The cat was chased by the dog
The dog by Mrs. Griffin
By the living room couch
With the kitty motif
Out the front door screen
And into the street

Now old John Duke
Drives a delivery route
And he happened to be passing
With a van full of fruit

What are the chances?

He missed the woman
Missed the dog
Then his face went pale
Cuz in a splat the cat
Was guacamole with a tail

O, the cat got dead
So we put him in a box
And we dug a little hole
And we covered it with rocks
Then we picked a couple dandelions
And said a little prayer
Then we all went off to bed
Cuz we mostly did not care