Emotional Intelligence ... or EQ

[infinite monkey]

I know women still struggle to make the same pay for the same job. I know there are still some glass ceiling particles left. I know that women in power have to play by different rules than men.

BUT, having said that, I don't think being a woman in charge means said woman has to be a raging beeatch. And I've seen that, a lot. It's like, to compete with men, they have to be men: tough, hard, and ready to swing the hammer to bring about the 'respect' they probably don't get from their immediate peers or even superiors.

The funny thing is, most of the men who I've worked for, while assertive, while go-getters, seem to be much easier to get along with. It's like there's nothing to prove so they don't have swing any hammers.

I've seen both sides: I have seen ineffectual male managers and I have seen wonderful female managers. But at a certain point some women lose their womaninity, lest they lose credibility (in their minds, in the minds of the biggest wigs?) I don't think it has to be like that. But I've never made my way high up in any kind of bigger corporation so I don't know. I lack the mighty hammer, but I can be assertive, rather than aggressive. I'm not sure that's enough; from what I've seen you gotta be stone cold hard.

I think men are easier to work with than women. But that is only my personal experience. Still, it comes from a lot of years of working in a variety of disciplines.

Hey, I'm a woman. I love women, hear us roar. I was so impressed with the Swooper (so smart, beautiful, strong) until I somehow ended up on the wrong end of the Swoop Stick. Once you're on the wrong end, you may as well say your prayers.

I think it's very difficult to walk that fine line for any manager, but some are much better than others, on both sides of the gender line. Emotional intelligence is difficult to gauge, and I think it means different things for a lot of people.

[Lamplighter]

I usually try to avoid the generalities of differences between men and women, but one thing that intrigues me
... maybe because I'm male and can't keep up with the women's mode of discussion... is this:

In small groups, several women all seem to be able to speak at once,
and everyone is able to keep up with each of the various threads.
And no one seems to take offense at their remarks being lost amid the dialog.

But when men talk in a meeting/group, usually one speaks at a time.
Other men wait for a chance to jump in and take the stage,
or the speaker uses various techniques to retain the center of attention.

The TV talk shows are good examples of this happening, but it happens at work meetings too.

Then, in mixed meetings there are opportunities for hard feelings
developing when one style gains prevalence over the other.