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[BigV]

dear anon

ut and xob are both experienced in this ordeal, they're worth paying attention to.

my experience was different regarding the house. I wanted the house, and I kept the house. this had an uncomfortable side effect of being property rich and cash poor--a situation that was exacerbated when I lost my job. but I need to explain my *MAIN* reason for wanting to stay in the house--SonofV was just starting high school when the deal went down and the top of my list of priorities was trying to do the best for him. In this case, maintaining the only house he'd ever lived in and the connection to the schools in the immediate area was huge for me.

additionally, I'd moved out the previous three or four times--look what it got me. also, t*nk *did* want to move, had been wanting to move for a long time. it worked out for both of us. as a community property state, the bulk of our net worth was in the equity in the house. obviously we couldn't divide the house, but we could divide the value of the house, once that value had been converted to cash, and that meant refinancing. the refi itself was another fucking ordeal, worth one or more separate posts later, if you wish.

continued good luck.

[glatt]

I'm finally starting to clue in as to what this is about.

And I'm still happy for you. I have no experience in this area, so I'll stay out of it. But I wish you the best and am glad you have wise people giving you advice here.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by BigV

my experience was different regarding the house. I wanted the house, and I kept the house.

I did too, but I was aware of what it would cost me, not just money, before I made that decision. That's what I was cautioning, know the costs before making a decision. Changing course always makes things more difficult, but that's always an option too.