Merc - Wtf?

[sexobon]

Originally Posted by DanaC

... I assume some of that is aimed at me? ...

Just an educated guess at a rationale, not an accusation.

Originally Posted by DanaC

... I always clashed with him, and I thought he was being a bully at some points. ....

There is an age old, time tested, military technique for teaching cocky (self righteous) individuals humility so they can realize their full potential through the synergism of being a team player. I used to get paid to tear people down who outranked me, were more accomplished than I and who would someday be my boss knowing that I helped make them effective leaders rather than self centered ladder climbers who fall halfway up; because, they didn't have support from the base. A person employing this technique must use it judiciously and be diplomatic elsewhere to maintain its credibility. One can't be taking out the frustrations of their job, family, politics; or, unleashing under the influence elsewhere and expect everyone else to know that they're employing the technique in an isolated case and not just bullying. That takes a trained eye.

Originally Posted by DanaC

... You reduce other members to a single facet of their personality or history and can't see how dehumanising that is. People are not black and white they are every shade of grey. ...

Good people can have bad ideas. One must learn to separate the person from the idea and address each as such. Until Ibby figures out how to do this and put it into practice, Ibby is destined to be considered white trash.

Originally Posted by glatt

... My attempt at being peacemaker was just a joke at that point. Merc told me he didn't enjoy the Cellar any more and wouldn't be back. I think I'm one of the people he lost respect for. ...

Merc knows the limited role of moderators here. He wouldn't have bothered telling you he was leaving if he didn't respect that you tried.

Originally Posted by Griff

... <shrug> Ibby can be the bigger man by trying to understand others without sanctioning their attitudes or beliefs. <breaks up soapbox for kindling> ...

No, Ibby can't. This is why I didn't attempt what Merc did.