love em or hate em?

[Elionwyr]

Originally posted by Undertoad
What you see with me is a careful treading about the social setting so that I don't step on any land mines. It's forced.

If I have a role, or have to be on stage, I kick ass. I've emceed several events where I spoke in front of hundreds of people, with just a few notes, and totally blew them away. But when I sat down at the table to eat dinner afterwards... nothing, I was spent and couldn't manage simple conversation.

This makes sense to me.

I'm pretty introverted myself, and would prefer to hide in the back and people-watch. I've learned to throw on a mental mask (for lack of a better way to put it) so that I can deal better in social situations, and it's gotten easier, but it's still pretty scary.

(I suffer from an anxiety disorder, as well. Which is better than it used to be, but it's still something that I struggle with.)

Oddly enough, I think that my part time jobs have also given me tools to help me deal with social situations. I work in haunted houses, and putting on a costume and role have helped me find a confidence I don't normally possess. Working at the museum have also helped, because the focus isn't on me - it's on the animals I'm working with.

I realize it's not the most common way to learn to deal. But when I was thrown into a role last October that had me not only ad-libbing in front of hundreds of people (in small groups, thank goodness), I was **terrified**..but I did it. Well, even.

/tangent mode off