Dear Carrot

[Lamplighter]

Dear Carrot,

It is, I think, high time you and I agreed to a set of basic house rules.
I realise that, as far as you are concerned, this is already the case,
but frankly, not peeing on the carpet and not biting mummy's face
is not a sufficiently comprehensive list.
<snip>

What a well-formed letter !!!
warm-hearted and over-the-top understanding.

Now, just wait till he's old enough to write back
... with the list of things bothering him.