Divorce: perparing for the war

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edit: stormie are you serious? i am sorry for your lost...can't imagine how that has to feel. really, my brain can't digest the possibility at all.

argh, maybe you guys are right. sundae & stormie nailed it:

Originally Posted by Sundae

it will get easier, even though you don't want it to right now.

seriously how does that work? do you stop loving him when your thinking about him? you stop thinking about him? this isn't romantic love that requires mutuality, this is a person who you loved so much you chose to make it your life's endeavor to help him grow into the best man he can be to the best of your abilities, and now you can't.


and honestly one of the things i am most angry about is her bullshiting my stepson about it being a mutual decision - that i wanted to leave. i was living in hell with her for the last 5 months of our relationship so i can keep him, i wanted to work on our problems and get couple therapy so that we'll have a chance to be a family again, and when that stopped being an option i wanted to finish the immigration process through the canadian embassy in israel so that she doesn't have to support me while i am there and i can still come back to live somewhere nearby and be a weekend & holidays father like regular divorces, which my immigration lawyer told me i could have done as long as she still signed the sponsorship papers. i love him and i would have never left him by choice... and the fact she's telling him otherwise is pissing me off. so far i am the only dad he ever knew, and based on her stories he's going to remember me as the dad who left, if he remembers me at all.