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Old 01-15-2012, 06:22 PM   #32
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 27,063
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aliantha View Post
OK, so it IS men who make women feel crappy enough about themselves to want to be too thin? Or not thin enough? Or wear too much make up? Or not enough? Or be too short? Or too tall?
My answer to this question was first given to me by a beautiful woman, Elanor Roosevelt. She truthfully reveals who is responsible for making someone feel bad when she said:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eleanor Roosevelt
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
It is up to me to choose to give that consent or to withhold it. If a man does something and I feel crappy about it, it's because I have chosen to give his actions or words weight (no pun intended). If a woman says something and my daughter feels bad about it, it is because my daughter has chosen to give that person credibility.

I have credibility with my daughter. I may say something that hurts her (may? I have, sometimes on purpose sometimes by accident, sometimes for good sometimes for ill). But the crappy feeling she has is her feeling. Lord knows, I have striven to inculcate in her a realistic sense of her own worth, one that can withstand such unfortunate experiences. She has, to be sure, her own weaknesses, as do I, and all of you. And sometimes when my weakness lines up with someone's action, intentionally or otherwise, I can feel the impact and sometimes it is very painful. But that's mine, not theirs. They can't make me feel crappy about myself without my consent.
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