Dear Family

[Sundae]

Dear Mum

I know you think you are offering me a big treat by suggesting that you go through my room while I am in Glasgow and shred out of date papers and clean my bedroom. But didn't my reaction last year give you a clue that this was really not my ideal Christmas present?

I admire that despite your desire for order, you hold off until you know I am away for a night, but I genuinely feel violated at the idea.

I will go through my paperwork and shred what is necessary before 19 December.
But your suggestion that you're worried I might forget something otherwise (ie a bill or a debt) is nonsensical. If I have "forgotten" one in the past, destroying the evidence would have helped, not hindered the process.

I love you and I know you love me.
And Merry Christmas and all that jazz.
I won't thank you when I come back, because I don't want you poking about in there. But I won't sulk about it either.

x