commonly misheard song lyrics

[Radar]

Let me preface this by saying I knew a guy in the Navy who could pull his dog tag chain through his nose and out his mouth. I was with a friend when the radio station asked for people to fax in some crazy stunt they'd do. I was goofing around with a friend and sent them a note saying I would snort life guppies up my nose and cough them out of my mouth still alive. I didn't anticipate they would actually call me and I had never done it before. I didn't even know if it could be done. I thought it could because of my friend in the navy and because it was small and wet I figured it would be like hocking up a big loogie.

The radio station not only accepted my offer, but started advertising it all day everyday. They told people to bring a fishing pole and check out a guy snorting live guppies.

I started getting nervous and the day of the event I bought some guppies and tried it for the first time 2 hours before I was supposed to do it on stage.

Several hundred people showed up and others did some fairly lame "crazy stunts". A couple showed up and the woman put peanut butter and jelly all over the man covered him with bread and ate sandwiches. Some woman showed up in a bikini and asked guys to pour beer all over her, some guy mixed up alpo dog food, ketchup, mayo, mustard, relish, etc. and ate it. Then he shoved his finger down his throat barfed it up and ate it again.

I was called and came on stage and people were cheering me. I snorted one up the left side, one on the right, then two at the same time. One of them got stuck. I hadn't anticipated the wriggling in the sinuses and I had to blow it out. The crowd loved it. Then I got the glass of water with fish in it and drank it down and swallowed it. They all went nuts.

I was interviewed by all the local news stations, and the local paper in Vegas. For a while it was hard to go to a bar without someone calling me "the guppy guy". When I got to England some tabloid sort of paper over there wanted me to do a repeat performance but I already had my tickets so I refused. One of my friends wanted me to do it on Letterman as a stupid people trick, but I'll pass on that too.

Mine wasn't necessarily the grossest stunt, but it was stylish and freaky, and fit the bill of "crazy".

On a side note...

I figured out that if you snort too small of a fish it will go right down your throat before you can stop it. If I ever had to do it again, I'd use slightly larger fish.