here's my song

[lumberjim]

I left this song in my juke box program from when i listened to it the first time. this morning, i had the juke box playing random tracks as i worked. this song got stuck in my head.
i like the melody. the guitar is nice and subtle. needs stronger drums. cleaner mic sound, and polish, but you have something there. get the reverb off your mic and sing louder from the gut, make the guitar louder, get a real drummer to replace the machine, and trim the lyrics. emphasize the part towards the end (about 2:30 into it) when you "chant " it sounds very spiral and groovy. You could use some backing vocals where it swells. i likehow the pitch rises just before that starts. and work on the ending, it kind of just stops.
nice work for a demo, but think of it as a sketch. get toad to lay down a bass track, get someone to play rythm guitar so your (i assume) hubby can get off a little more on his lead track. and the drummer is key......you MUST have good drums for most people to "feel" it.


" i want to hmmm hmm kiss you.....ba dubba dub dubba dub..ba dub...."