Oct 18, 2010: Swag Stash

[xoxoxoBruce]

OK, now all parents please leave this thread, now.
As a matter of fact, all adults please leave this thread.

Are they gone, kids? Yes? Good.
Now I want to set ya straight, and I wouldn’t bullshit ya, ‘cause were bestest friends, right?
Cool, now Hallowe’en is coming up and that’s the big candy score, so ya gotta be prepared.
I know I know, Christmas and Easter there’s a lot of candy around, but the big people are in control.
Hallowe’en is different, you get to control how much candy you can grab for your own, no sharesies.
First thing is, ya probably won’t be able to make trips. Nope, one shot is all you’ll get, make it count.
That means your swag stash has gotta be the best.

Lookie here...



Now over at myscienceproject they did this all scientifical...

In designing our experiment, we wanted to account for the typical assortment of candies you might receive while trick-or-treating. Unless you live in a really upscale neighborhood, it’s not likely that you’re going to come home with a bag full of chocolate bars. Halloween candy can be roughly divided into three categories: “premium” (fun-sized candy bars), “meh” (chewy boxed candies like Milk Duds), and “bottom of the barrel” (hard candy, gumballs, Dum Dum pops). We weren’t so concerned with the quality of the candy as we were interested in its density and volume; a mini Baby Ruth bar, for example, is heavier relative to volume than a box of malt balls. For that reason, we tried to recreate a representative variety of treats, with about equal amounts (by weight) of top, middle, and lower tier candies.

As we loaded each receptacle, we mixed the candies and tossed them in by the handful, rather than just dumping in bag after bag. This was to give the pieces a natural “loft” and spatial distribution.

See, loft and spatial distribution, told ya it was scientifical. The pillowcase is king!

The next thing is, don’t bring it all home.
The big people will freak out about sugar, and start rationing, you know, you’ve heard it all before.
Then when ya go to bed, they eat all your good shit, like they think ya won’t notice a few pieces.
But those few pieces are always the chocolate bars, the big bullies.
So hide half in the shed, or someplace, but make sure the rats and squirrels can’t get it, they’re worse than the big people.

OK, now you’re all set, and don’t tell the big people about this... you know, like before.
That worked out ok, didn’t it?
I mean everything healed ok and all, right?
Cool.

[SPUCK]

Oh and kids go to your Dads pants hanging over the chair and get out his wallet. Tell us what the pretty raised numbers on the nice plastic cards are.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

So hide half in the shed, or someplace, but make sure the rats and squirrels can’t get it, they’re worse than the big people.

If I had feelings, they'd be hurt.

[Sheldonrs]

Originally Posted by SPUCK

Oh and kids go to your Dads pants hanging over the chair and get out his wallet. Tell us what the pretty raised numbers on the nice plastic cards are.

On no you don't!!! I fell for that "Reach into daddy's pants" trick too many times to be fooled again!

[classicman]

Yeh - you are probably using that trick now aren't you Shel?

[Sheldonrs]

Originally Posted by classicman

Yeh - you are probably using that trick now aren't you Shel?

You assume I wear pants. ;-)

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

If I had feelings, they'd be hurt.

If you had a chance, you grab that candy. I'm wise to you bushy tail varmints.

[Slothboy]

Wait, wait, wait... The largest container holds the most candy? That is shocking information!

[xoxoxoBruce]

It's how much more, that naive kiddies have to be taught.
The one that surprised me was the standard paper grocery bag held more than the 5 gallon bucket. I'd have bet money the other way.

[Char*Pntr]

When I was a kid, my brother and sisters always used pillow cases to hold our candy.

Also back then on October 30, we called it "beggars night" and we
did haul in a lot of candy that night as well. Probably the reason we thought of using pillow cases!

Edit: I just burst out laughing at Slothboy's reply. It made me recall
a story my father told me once: During one Halloween, he started to run out of candy. So at that point,
he would put one piece of candy in a kids bag, kinda like hiding it, and then when he put it in the bag,
he would thump it, so the kid thought he was getting a large treat!

[SPUCK]

Originally Posted by Char*Pntr

Edit: I just burst out laughing at Slothboy's reply. It made me recall
a story my father told me once: During one Halloween, he started to run out of candy. So at that point,
he would put one piece of candy in a kids bag, kinda like hiding it, and then when he put it in the bag,
he would thump it, so the kid thought he was getting a large treat!

Your Dad would've regretted doing that to us... A "Trick" would have been demanded for our honor. I recall watching as my brother poured five gallons of water down a chimney that had a roaring fire going in the fireplace after we were run-off for being, "too old". He was in the eighth grade.

[xoxoxoBruce]

@Char*Pntr... It was called "mischief night" up home.

@Spuck... Man, that's dangerous. Your brother could have gotten steamed like a clam.

[SPUCK]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

@Spuck... Man, that's dangerous. Your brother could have gotten steamed like a clam.

Yeah. Could'a cracked the guy's liner too..

[Trilby]

Finally! some information I can use!

[xoxoxoBruce]

Don't forget pillowcases can double as leprechaun catchers too, then you'll have some lucky charms, to sprinkle your candy on. Remember, the angel said you can't eat too much sugar.