I have always admired people who are genuinely social

[Stormieweather]

Originally Posted by skysidhe

You seem like a well rounded healthy individual Stormie.

Thanks

I, uh, was an introvert as a child. I went everywhere with a book and was never so happy as I was when alone. I didn't have many friends and was painfully shy. It was pounded into me that what other people thought mattered most.

Then I fell in love with alcohol. It stripped my shyness and my inhibitions, even those I should have maintained. With a drink or three in me, I was the life of the party....until I crossed over the line and then...uh...well, I can't remember.

Since sobriety and escaping abuse, I have worked on just being me. I do what makes me happy and feels comfortable. I can talk to anyone and have several roles that require leadership, however, I have few close friends and am happiest at home with my partner, children and pets.

Not sure what the "label" is that would apply to my personality, and also, not sure I care

[skysidhe]

How about normal, recovered, whole


I am not at the totally recovered stage but I am working on it.

[Urbane Guerrilla]

I am affable and sociable; pretty much the opposite, emotionally, of Undertoad at his OP.

This does not make me a piano-grinning gladhander on all occasions. But it does make me capable of a small talk that often as not leads to a deeper category of speech. I can push into a group if necessary, and I can make people happy I did.

Charisma is not inborn; it is a social skill that can be practiced and it can be learned. Some of those kids you envied socially back in the day were naturals at it; I was not.

[TheMercenary]

ISTP

[sexobon]

ISTP 1; or, istp 2?

[TheMercenary]

[DanaC]

Thanks Sexobon


The 'turning it on' is only with people I don't know, and particularly large groupings in places I don't know. Once I know people I am quite outgoing and confident.

So, the first couple of times I taught a class when I started doing the literacy tuition. Addressing striking workers on behalf of the local MP. First few classes at Uni. Turning up at a stranger's house to hear their problem.

I 'turn it on' and after a while I feel the confidence I portray. I have a dualism when it comes to confidence. I am both very confident and very lacking in confidence at the same time. My natural inclination, from being very young, has been to be talkative and self-confident in company. My actual experience of the world has at times conflicted with that (extreme bullying and during some periods total ostracism at school because of severe and disfiguring eczema) which makes me instinctively recoil at the thought of interacting with new people/full rooms/crowds.

I started the school year a few weeks late one year. By which time the kids in the classes i attended had all sorted out their seating arrangements before I got there. My French class was overfull, and every class I'd go in and try and find somewhere to sit. Because I was coming from a lunchtime music class I was always a couple of minutes late for the class. I'd walk in and the other kids would turn and look and then the muttering would start. And the giggling.

And I go from desk to fucking desk trying to find somewhere to sit, having picked up the spair chair from the back. I was supposed to attach myself to the end of one of the two people desks making it a three person desk. Each desk i got to the kids wuold say stuff like "don't fuckin sit here you dirty cow" or "ewww. Fuckoff you disgusting bitch". Said under their breath. Loud enough for me to hear. And each class, after I'd wandered round like some fucking tramp, the teacher wuold spin round and tell me off. For making a fuss. just sit down, she'd say.

Sorry. Bit of a rant. That one still gets to me if I think about it.

But anyway. That's why i don't like going into a room full of people or initiating conversation with groups.

Once I've 'turned it on' for a bit, I usually feel it. It's like all that natural confidence I used to have (before school kicked it out of me) comes back.

[Pico and ME]

That was seriously trial by fire Dana. Seriously. You've done awfully good at coming away from that with your heart and soul intact.

[piercehawkeye45]

Originally Posted by DanaC

Thanks Sexobon


The 'turning it on' is only with people I don't know, and particularly large groupings in places I don't know. Once I know people I am quite outgoing and confident.

I 'turn it on' and after a while I feel the confidence I portray. I have a dualism when it comes to confidence. I am both very confident and very lacking in confidence at the same time.

I am very similar. When I feel comfortable around people I become extremely extroverted and am usually very loud. When I don't feel comfortable around people I either come off as the "nice guy" or get mad and start trying to force confidence and come off as an asshole. Usually, my main problem is actually starting a conversation. Once I get past that barrier and the other person can get past my initial weirdness, which is not necessarily a bad thing, I usually feel comfortable.

[Nirvana]

Is stripping an extrovert activity?

[monster]

OK, I sorta lied a little because i've never managed to label myself, so i was interested to read your interprestations.

I HATE public speaking, but I'm perfectly willing to do it and am not bad at it IF it's necessary for somethig I'm passionate about AND ...I know the most of the crowd (like a school function)

I hate to talk to strangers on the phone, hate to make small talk with shop assistants, would rather do the British thing of pretending people coming toward you on the sidewalk don't exist.....

But once I'm comfortable with you, watch out... I love to party and I'll talk the hind legs off a donkey.

[Pete Zicato]

Originally Posted by monster

I love to party and I'll talk the hind legs off a donkey.

That sounds like fun.

Anyone have a donkey they'd be willing to risk so that we could run the experiment?