I have always admired people who are genuinely social

[DanaC]

I am very, very sociable, and also very, very unsociable. I can 'turn it on' at parties; but even so: that whole standing/sitting on the margins of a party not quite in any of the little clusters...that's my main experience of parties tbh.

Over the last few years, during my time in politics, I have had to grow a thicker skin. Each new experience put me out of my comfort zone in various ways and I just had to plaster my confident, friendly, yet totally unconcerned expression onto my face and hope it was over soon. Most people I engage with out and about and at functions, probably think I am a very confident and self-assured person.

In truth i am at my most comfortable when alone. Spending time in social situations (beyond idle chit chat with mates and immediate family) is exhausting to me. Like Brianna, I need time to process that experience: lots of it, just in my own space.

I don't find it as hard as I used to. The last five or six years have given me a wide range of experiences that have given me some confidence in what I am portraying of myself when I am at a function, or a gathering of any kind. That doesnt mean I am not going to pick through every conversation later, whilst alone, and find reasons to make myself feel like a dick.

There was a time I felt almost unable to walk into a full room. Full on anxiety at the thought of walking into a room and any of the eyes turning to see me. Much of that was because of my experiences at school, which, frankly, messed me up good and proper for a fuck of a long time. I am profoundly grateful that that particular little set of hangups has lessened over the years, but there is still a twinge even now.

With people I am comortable with, i am a naturally gregarious person. I have taught myself to take a little of that gregariousness with me into less comfortable situations. But I require large amounts of time to myself to recharge my batteries.

[limey]

Originally Posted by DanaC

... The last five or six years have given me a wide range of experiences that have given me some confidence in what I am portraying of myself when I am at a function, or a gathering of any kind. That doesnt mean I am not going to pick through every conversation later, whilst alone, and find reasons to make myself feel like a dick.

I am blessed with a very poor memory. I rarely remember in any detail what I have said, and certainly do not recall the details of small talk at all. The downside of poor memory is that I rarely recognise people that I ought to recognise. I admit straight away that I have a crap memory for faces and please what's your name ?

[sexobon]

Originally Posted by DanaC

Oh! Do me, do me!

Originally Posted by DanaC

I am very, very sociable, and also very, very unsociable. I can 'turn it on' at parties ...

[snip]and I just had to plaster my confident, friendly, yet totally unconcerned expression onto my face ... [/snip]

[snip & sequence]The last five or six years have given me a wide range of experiences that have given me some confidence in what I am portraying of myself ... [/snip & sequence]

[snip]Spending time in social situations (beyond idle chit chat with mates and immediate family) is exhausting to me. ... [/snip]

With people I am comortable with, i am a naturally gregarious person. I have taught myself to take a little of that gregariousness with me into less comfortable situations. But I require large amounts of time to myself to recharge my batteries.

Since you're not outgoing in most social situations, you're not an extrovert. While you share some traits that I attributed to monster like being able to "turn it on," you seem to simply portray that role rather than stepping into it. The ability to step into it comes from a feeling of confidence that when you step into a room, you COULD exercise some form of control over everyone in it if you chose to do so. Soldiers could exercise the power of life and death, comedians could exercise the power of joy and laughter, parents could exercise the power of love and approval ... etc. Finding that niche enables one to completely step into the role when they "turn it on." The aftereffects are minimal.

While I classified monster as an Extravirginvert (technically a sous extrovert), I would classify you as a Thespianvert (technically a haut introvert).